FOCUS/THESIS: Focus: audience I think you need to establish a link between
ABC Technology and the elderly population earlier in the paper. Why should
this particular company focus on this particular slice of the pie? The paper
rightly focuses on one particular group of people (you are smart to do this, as
it makes your paper as narrowly focused as it should be), but you do need to
establish a reason for ABC Technology caring about this particular group and
trying to put money toward a product that will benefit their lives.
In your intro, you write:
Everyone can access to the provision of excellent services by this particular
food delivery app. It will also enable the restaurant industry to blossom and
flourish in the market and technology industry can acquire more market. It will
bring more profits to these industries that will enable them to achieve some of their
goals and targets comfortably. In the long run, this will play a significant role in
uplifting the whole economy of a particular country. Therefore, solving issues
discussed above will lead to the growth and development of very many sectors in
the economy.
However, then you go from everyone and saying that ABC’s move will uplift the
whole economy of a particular country and lead to the growth and development of
very many sectors in the economy to focusing on making an app that helps the
elderly. To improve overall focus, use this introduction to establish a link
between what you’re recommending and why you’re recommending it to ABC
Technology. Look at the ideas of what the intro should consist of (from
assignment guidelines/ Professor’s lecture notes):
1. Define the problem that the company needs to solve. Include any
necessary contextual or background information
2. Describe the specific company so the reader has a clear
understanding of the organization and then define report your role
within (or relationship to) the organization.
3. Define target audience for the report.
4. Describe the recommended solution (thesis statement) and the
benefits the solution will provide the target audience.
You’re writing to ABC Technology about a different audience (the elderly)
benefiting from this recommendation, so you’ve got to use the intro to
establish why ABC should care and also consider including how ABC will
benefit as well in your thesis statement. That will help you include
the purpose part of the list below (generally pointers I suggest to people to
include in the thesis for this assignment):
▪ Name the audience: whom do you plan to give this recommendation to? What
does this person already know? What does this person need to be informed
of? What sorts of arguments motivate this person to do what you’re
suggesting?
▪ Name the recommendation: what specifically are you recommending? What
do you want to have happen after someone reads your paper?
▪ Name the purpose: why does this recommendation need to be made? What
problem does it respond to?
▪ Name the angles: how will this recommendation have an effect or what will it
look like?
Thesis the thesis right now is a bit wordy. Let’s take a look:
Hence, ABC technology company should create a simply, specifically, well
detailed and user-friendly food delivery application that will be able to address
critical issues like serving the elderly people in the society at their own convenient
places, helping the elderly to minimize the cost of living because they won’t need to
move from one place to another place or ask for care person to cook meals, making
the lives of them more healthier by providing meals that have the
detailed ingredients and spices that will enhance the development of the body and
help them avoid ingredients which are dangerous for them, and also providing
various meals that are found in various hotels and restaurants.
There is too much detail here; your most important information – the
recommendation, audience, and reasons for the recommendation – get lost.
When you revise, make sure you are being specific without giving too much
detail.
For instance, look at how you put it in your CSR:
ABC Technology Company should develop a food delivery app that
specifically meets the needs of elderly customers in order to provide better
food access, cost of living savings, and healthier choices.
This is pretty simple and missing only one major piece of information (why this
is a good move for ABC Technology Company) that the other thesis doesn’t
have either! So that’s the ultimate question – why should ABC focus on the
elderly? You can find some ideas for this in your conclusion: ABC technology
company will also have the chance to develop itself in terms of technology and
several other aspects that will enable it to soar to greater heights as far as business
is concerned. The company would have stood out in serving humanity with
distinction and diligently by delivering quality services which are the core goals
and values of the company.
DEVELOPMENT: Developing links between discussion and thesis, your final
section of the discussion – whole day working time – does not fit with the
overall recommendation about targeting the elderly. Therefore, it does not
belong in this recommendation report, even if it is an additional benefit of
having an app like this. Make sure your discussion is tightly controlled by the
thesis statement.
Also, continue to work on refining the discussion so that each point is
explored in the following ways:
a) Explain the issue as it currently stands
b) Provide any research possible that backs up the idea that this is a problem or
that this would benefit from being improved
c) Explain how your proposal would achieve this & lead to purpose (overarching
need that the recommendation responds to that benefits ABC)
You need to establish the need for this app with this population and also keep
coming back to the major purpose that you are going to include in the
thesis/intro when you revise – how this benefits ABC also. Try to work on
making sure each point of discussion meets these three major points listed
above.
We will work more on citations next week, but I will say that you need much
more evidence in the discussion. See if you can bulk up the source references
in the second part of each point (Provide any research possible that backs up the
idea that this is a problem or that this would benefit from being improved).
RHETORICAL STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION: Organizing your paper to
strengthen development and focus Most papers, and particularly one like
this, benefit from following an outline that enables you to address the same
issues for each part of your suggestion. If you look at Professor Brooks’
slides, she has one in week 11 that provides an outline. I will show you how
you might use that and the assignment guidelines to prepare an outline that
shows how to link the recommendation to the reasons for it and the research
that backs the research up. Here is what it might look like:
Introduction
▪
Define the problem that the company needs to solve. Include any necessary
contextual or background information
▪
Describe the specific company so the reader has a clear understanding of the
organization and then define report your role within (or relationship to) the
organization.
▪
Define target audience for the report.
▪
Present Thesis: ABC Technology Company should develop a food delivery app that
specifically meets the needs of elderly customers in order to provide better food access, cost
of living savings, and healthier choices.
Discussion
▪
Better food access
a) Explain the issue as it currently stands
b) Provide any research possible that backs up the idea that this is a problem or
that this would benefit from being improved
c) Explain how your proposal would achieve this & lead to purpose (overarching
need that the recommendation responds to that benefits ABC)
▪
Cost of living savings
a) Explain the issue as it currently stands
b) Provide any research possible that backs up the idea that this is a problem or
that this would benefit from being improved
c) Explain how your proposal would achieve this & lead to purpose (overarching
need that the recommendation responds to that benefits ABC)
▪
Healthier choices
a) Explain the issue as it currently stands
b) Provide any research possible that backs up the idea that this is a problem or
that this would benefit from being improved
c) Explain how your proposal would achieve this & lead to purpose (overarching
need that the recommendation responds to that benefits ABC)
▪
(Repeat for any additional reasons)
▪
Opposition – acknowledging arguments against your recommended change &
briefly rebutting (optional – you can also address this within each point of
discussion, for instance, after you explain how your proposal would achieve
the necessary change you describe)
Conclusion
▪
Overall summary of recommendation findings with clear audience benefits stated
▪ Next steps
Then, in your table of contents, you would include the following:
Abstract
Intro
Discussion
• Better food access
• Cost of living savings
• Healthier choices
Opposition
Conclusion/Next Steps
SENTENCES: * Be sure to apply these throughout your paper, not just in the
one sentence I picked out. If the change needs to be made in one place,
make sure you make it in all other instances as well. *
On the other hand, if elderly’s children would like to send them to old
people’s home, they also need to cost a lot, which range from $60,000 to $120,000,
it is just for the entrance fee.
Wording On the other hand, those making decisions about moving to
retirement homes must also consider their high costs, ranging from $60,000 to
$120,000 just to meet the entrance fee (source).
Most of normal family cannot afford this huge amount of money cost.
Preposition You do not need of after most here. Instead, just
write most normal families.
For the elderly, ABC Technology company will provide a proper discount to
them expect the fee of food and delivery fee, there will be no other fees be asked.
Comma splice These are two sentences stuck together with a comma;
each has a subject and verb and these two sentences are not connected by a
coordinating conjunction such as for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so (which would
make them a complete sentence instead). Therefore, you would need to
separate these ideas with a coordinating conjunction, semicolon, or
period: For the elderly, ABC Technology company will provide a proper discount to
them expect the fee of food and delivery fee; there will be no other fees be asked.
Exercises like this one should help you with seeing the comma splices you
have: http://chompchomp.com/csfs03/
Repeated word You don’t need be in here twice. Instead, write there
will be no other fees asked.
Running head: RECOMMANDATION FOR A FOOD DELIVERY APP .
Recommandation Report for the Development of a Food Delivery APP
Recommendation for a food delivery app
2
TABLE OF CONTENTS.
1. Cover page………………………………………………………………………………..1
2. Table of contents…………………………………………………………………………..2
3. Abstract………………………………………………………………………………...….3
4. Introduction……………………………………………………………………………..…4
5. Discussion/ Recommendation………………………………………………………..……5
6. Conclusion………………………………………………………………………………...8
7. References page…………………………………………………………………………10
3
Recommendation for a food delivery app
Abstract.
Currently, the wind of technology has swept across many parts of the world. Most of the
activities are carried out with the help of advanced machines and technologies. The restaurant
industry has made several advancements some of which include delivery of meals through online
using particular food delivery applications (Al Abid & Karim, 2017). According to research, the
current online food delivery application is not able to meet the requirements of some of its
customers. For example, the current food delivery application lacks significant features like the
ingredients using preparing a particular meal. As a result, most people are not able to determine
the ingredients contained in meals which they order.
Of important to note, if the above mentioned problem is corrected, the restaurant industry
will be at the forefront in offering outstanding services. This will come along with a lot of
advantages which include several job opportunities, increased revenue income for not only the
restaurant industry but also technology industry. As a result, these two industries are able to
achieve some of its goals without difficulties. If ABC Technology company use these
suggestions to improve the current food delivery app, they can achieve bigger market and profits.
Recommendation for a food delivery app
4
Introduction.
In consideration of the current food delivery applications used by various restaurants and
hotels are not able to meet requirements for the elderly who don’t have enough time or abilities
to prepare meals. It’s essential to create a food delivery application which can be able to meet all
the conditions. It will bring several advantages which include the provision of services that will
fully satisfy the needs of all the customers irrespective of the age, gender, and even disability.
Everyone can access to the provision of excellent services by this particular food delivery app. It
will also enable the restaurant industry to blossom and flourish in the market and technology
industry can acquire more market. It will bring more profits to these industries that will enable
them to achieve some of their goals and targets comfortably. In the long run, this will play a
significant role in uplifting the whole economy of a particular country. Therefore, solving issues
discussed above will lead to the growth and development of very many sectors in the economy.
Hence, ABC technology company should create a simply, specifically, well detailed and
user-friendly food delivery application that will be able to address critical issues like serving the
elderly people in the society at their own convenient places, helping the elderly to minimize the
cost of living because they won’t need to move from one place to another place or ask for care
person to cook meals, making the lives of them more healthier by providing meals that have the
detailed ingredients and spices that will enhance the development of the body and help them
Recommendation for a food delivery app
5
avoid ingredients which are dangerous for them, and also providing various meals that are found
in various hotels and restaurants.
Discussion/ Recommendation.
The proposed food delivery application will play a great role in ensuring that the elderly
people in society are sufficiently taken care of. It will be achieved by ensuring that the elderly
people are served with the meals at their own convenient places (Al Abid & Karim, 2017).
However, the above-mentioned contents will come along with several advantages some of which
include minimizing problems created by the elderly when moving from one region to the other.
Consequently, the food delivery application will contain various special features that will enable
elderly with disability also can access similar services using a similar food delivery application.
There is no society that lacks the elderly without or with disabilities (McClements, 2015).
Therefore, it's important to have their needs taken care off so that they can also feel loved and
taken care off in the society. The improvement of the food delivery application will also help
reduce the dangerous satiation happen by keeping elderly at their safe place, like home. The
probability danger of the elderly like falling down will decrease greatly in a familiar
environment. Moreover, the proposed food delivery application will be indicating its main areas
or regions of operation to provide a timely service for the elderly. This factor will enable the
elderly to request for the services from the restaurants and hotels which are close to their areas of
residence (Dunford, E., Trevena, H., Goodsell, C., Ng, K. H., Webster, J., Millis, A., ... & Neal,
B, 2014). As a result, it will be easier and convenient for the company to deliver placed orders
within the shortest time possible. It will play a significant role in ensuring that trust is achieved
between the customers and the application. Besides, it will be easier for the elderly to get their
meals served urgently within a short time. In return, this will be key factor to increase the
Recommendation for a food delivery app
6
number of customers to the company. More importantly, the company will be able to build a
good reputation that will helps it to attain most of its long-term functional goals and targets.
Unlike the other ordinary food delivery applications, this particular proposed food delivery
application will contain features that will help the elderly with various disabilities in the society
to use it comfortably.
The proposed food delivery application will help the elderly’s family save living cost.
With the gradually accelerating life rhythm, the earner in family have more and more work stress
to earn money by doing their jobs. Hence, their time spend on family, on their parents and child
become less and less. This will cause the extra cost on care person and old people’s home. Once
ABC technology company creates a new, complete and convenient food delivery app, they will
no longer need to hire elderly care person to take care of their old parents and provide meals for
them while at home which would cost almost $18,000 per year. On the other hand, if elderly’s
children would like to send them to old people’s home, they also need to cost a lot, which range
from $60,000 to $120,000, it is just for the entrance fee. They also need to pay a monthly fee,
which is from $500 to $3,000. Most of normal family cannot afford this huge amount of money
cost. For the elderly, ABC Technology company will provide a proper discount to them expect
the fee of food and delivery fee, there will be no other fees be asked. The company will use a
transparent charge system, any additional fees are not allowed. By doing this, the company will
also attract more customers to use the proposed application, no matter the elderly or normal
working people. The above-mentioned problem will be solved by the proposed food delivery
application because all the services fee will be included in the app.
The proposed food delivery application will be keen in partnering with hotels and
restaurants that have qualified chefs who prepare meals that contain a well-balanced diet. Thus,
Recommendation for a food delivery app
7
the meals supplied and delivered using this particular application will contribute greatly to
making people’s lives healthier (McClements, 2015). The role of the ABC technology company
will be ensuring that the hotels and restaurants seeking to partner with them have a reputation in
the provision of meals that contain a well-balanced diet. By doing this, the company will be able
to achieve its dream of ensuring that meals offered to their customers play a role in making their
lives healthier. The first main target market of ABC Technology is the elderly, there are many
ingredients and spices are very dangerous for them. If the elderly eats something are not suitable
for them. The gastrointestinal system of the elderly is not as strong as the youth, they need to
know what they eat for each meal every day to keep them in a healthy and safe condition. The
proposed food delivery application provides the function of detailed ingredients of the food
which current food delivery app don’t have. This is an important factor that will enable the
company to acquire as many customers as possible. Therefore, if the company ensures that the
above-mentioned is strictly taken into consideration, then the food delivery application will be in
a position getting as many customers as possible. Quality of meals prepared, and the detailed
ingredients list are key in determining the number of customers that particular business
opportunity is likely to get.
The other essential item that will be contained in the proposed food delivery application
is the whole day working time. The proposed application unlike the other ordinary food delivery
applications in various regions, this particular application will be operating within twenty-four
hours in seven days a week. It will play a great role in ensuring that all the customers are served
according to their satisfaction. This will provide an opportunity for the customers who work at
night to also have the chance of getting magnificent services that will be provided by the
proposed food delivery application. Most importantly, this will enable various hotels and
Recommendation for a food delivery app
8
restaurants that will be partnering with the company to increase its volume of sale during the late
hours. As a result, the hotels and restaurants, and also the ABC technology company will be able
to achieve huge amounts of profits that will enable them to run their day to day activities easily
and conveniently.
Conclusion
In conclusion, if ABC technology company will take up this call and develop a userfriendly food delivery application that contains features that can easily be used by the elderly
people in the society, it will be of great help in offering services to them conveniently. Therefore,
they will be able to freely and actively involve themselves in various activities carried out within
the society.
If implemented, this particular food application will critically enhance the provision of
quality food to the society members. This will critically help in increasing their health status
among many other core values. Further, the elderly will be able to able to get their meals served
at the appropriate time creating room for their leisure time in order to ensure that the other
sectors are developing as well. Also, the food delivery application will articulately help the
elderly to reduce time wastage and decrease the risk which might be incurred when they get to
travel to various hotels and restaurants in order to get they preferred meals and drinks as well.
On the other hand, this application will play a critical at the same time a very important
role in ensuring that families have old people have more other money to spend on the essential
things, such as family travel, living environment improvement, and life quality increasing. This
will enable most of the elderly to be in a position to carry out their day in day out activities much
more comfortably and conveniently. Moreover, this application will greatly reduce the chances
Recommendation for a food delivery app
9
the elderly touch the food safety problem with the detailed ingredient list. The elderly can use
this to make sure whether the food provide in the application are proper for them.
ABC technology company will also have the chance to develop itself in terms of
technology and several other aspects that will enable it to soar to greater heights as far as
business is concerned. The company would have stood out in serving humanity with distinction
and diligently by delivering quality services which are the core goals and values of the company.
This will eventually contribute to the general development and growth of the country’s economy.
10
Recommendation for a food delivery app
References.
Al Abid, F. B., & Karim, A. R. (2017). Cross-platform development for an online food delivery
application. Computing Networking and Informatics (ICCNI), 2017 International Conference on,
p. 1-4.
Cho, M., Bonn, M. A., & Li, J. J. (2018). Differences in perceptions about food delivery apps
between single-person and multi-person households. International Journal of Service
Management.
Dunford, E., Trevena, H., Goodsell, C., Ng, K. H., Webster, J., Millis, A., ... & Neal, B. (2014).
FoodSwitch: a mobile phone app to enable consumers to make healthier food choices and
crowdsourcing of national food composition data. JMIR mHealth and uHealth, 2(3).
Lee, E. Y., Lee, S. B., & Jeon, Y. J. J. (2017). Factors influencing the behavioral intention to use
food delivery apps. Social Behavior and Personality: an international
journal, 45(9), 1461-1473.
McClements, D. J. (2015). Nanoscale nutrient delivery systems for food applications: improving
bioactive dispersibility, stability, and bioavailability. Journal of food science, 80(7), N1602N1611.
Shin, H. C., Kim, D. H., & Ko, B. H. (2016). A study of how the chosen attributes of food
delivery applications affect customer satisfaction and repurchase Intention. Journal of the Table
& Food Coordinate, 11, 1-14.
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