The excerpt from the book was extremely interesting due to how relatable the
information is. It addresses issues and aspects that regular people experience very often in an
insightful way. However, the ideas on how early childhood experiences and how they influence a
person’s personality were very new to me. The excerpt also addressed how such experiences
influence our subconscious mind which ultimately determines how a person makes their choices.
I agree with the idea that the unconscious mind plays a very big role in attraction. This is
because a lot of times people are not aware of the underlying reasons why they make certain
choices in their lives. The aspect of not knowing what drives some needs and choices is what I
believe is the unconscious mind working. Attraction is one of the aspects of life that has very
little origin in the conscious. Personally I have had experiences where I was not sure why I was
attracted to specific people. In some cases, individuals are attracted to people who reflect or meet
a certain need that they are not consciously aware they have.
The excerpt also has some insightful ways of knowing why relationships don’t work.
People will always ignore warning signs because of the subconscious fixation on what made
them get into the relationship in the first place. They may also ignore warning signs because they
believe that they can help remedy the problems before the relationship gets very bad. However,
as the excerpt has established, there are aspects embedded in the subconscious that simply cannot
Van, M. P., & Katz, B. (2008). Actually, it is your parents' fault: Why your romantic relationship
isn't working, and how to fix it. New York: Griffin.
The Break-Up and “Do’s and Don’ts of Conflict”
Conflict is a disagreement or serious argument about...