Final draft of the Treaty Of Versailles

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Hey hopefully you remember me, you completed a rough draft 2000-3000 multi source essay on the Treaty Of Versailles for me. Well I got my grade, my professor gave me a 56%. I have a final draft that's due on Dec 16, 2018 11:59 PM Eastern time. May you please revise my paper. I need to have an 85% or above on my final paper in order to pass this class?


Her comments: "Length
Grammar and punctuation
Listing of sources in APA format
Number and quality of sources
Number and quality of sources integrated into the paper: Although you do have ten sources, you don't "integrate" them into the paper. Apparently, the majority of the material in this essay is attributable to only one source, with the rest only briefly mentioned. One source is not mentioned at all.
Introduction/topic/thesis
Introduction to topic is developed and focused and clearly explains the review: The introduction needs to be cut in half. Please see my notes.
Thesis statement clearly introduces the review of the sources: I did not see a thesis statement. For examples, go to the "A" grade Multi-Source, posted in Writing Resources.
Categories
The review divides the literature into categories: Some of the material in your categories was off-topic.
The categories follow one of the strategies taught in class -- a list of questions, chronological order, or some other arrangement that helps the reader to see how the literature was divided and classified: This was hard to judge, first, because you devoted so much material to non-essential aspects such as Japan or the U.S. economy in the 1920s, and second, because the category names themselves didn't always reflect the material that was in those categories. Please see my notes.
Synthesis
Conclusion
Formatting"

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Running head: THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 1 Hi Michael Thanks for turning a relatively complete draft. I see that You are concentrating more here on your one topic of the Treaty of Versailles than you did on previous papers. The tone of your writing seems to have completely changed since the last paper I read from you. The problems with missing articles {“a, an, the”} is gone, as are all of the subject-verb agreement errors. Please don’t feel overwhelmed at the amount of comments here; I am only trying to help you get a good grade. I hope you’ll read them and make the necessary changes, since this paper is worth 30% of your final grade. There were some places, such as in your References, where it is quite apparent that you haven’t been paying attention to my comments this semester. I can take another quick look at another draft if you can get it to me no more than Wednesday night. Very important question: Why do you wait until the very end of this essay to discuss the tole of the Allied Powers (France, English, America) and the Germans (Germany Austria Hungary) ? The treaty was between them. You need to go out and find new sources if all you could find was material about the minor players like USSR and Japan. The USSR and Japan would not become major players until the second world war. Wandering topic and untitled categories. At one point—after discussing only one source (Graebner N.A and Bennet) in the first half of the essay, you begin a discussion of a comparison of WWI and WWII. We have been over this before, MIchael. You need to stick with your topic, which is the Treaty of Versailles and its effects. If this is a new category comparing World War One and World War Two, you should either take it out altogether or somehow justify its inclusion in a paper. Regarding Your category entitled Impact of the Treaty on Allied Powers You launch into a discussion of Japan without saying where you got your information until ¾ way into the second paragraph. You are way off track in this category. And—Japan wasn’t even a real Allied Power, only a minor player—so why focus your attention on them? Attribution of sources / synthesis of sources: A global problem here is that you will put in all types of material in your category without telling your reader where you got the information. You might drop in the name of an THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 2 author here and there. Another global problem with this is that—if you don’t mention the name of a particular author, then you can’t synthesize that unknown author to another unknown author. The number one purpose of the Multi-Source project is to provide comparison and contrast of one author to another. Grammar and English usage: I marked some of this in your text, but did not have time to mark everything. Did you put this through MS Word spelling and grammar check before submitting it? Coherence, sentence fragments These are serious errors. Semicolon. Two independent clauses (simple sentences) are separated by a semicolon. I wrote this in the text: Semicolon here. Since you have so many “comma spliced sentences” when you put a comma rather than a semicolon between two independent clauses, I am going to stop pointing them out at this point. If this problem isn’t fixed for the final draft, you will lose more grade points. Lack of punctuation: You have a tendency to write very long, unpunctuated sentences, without commas or semicolons to provide a “thought pause” in the sentence. Notice my preceding sentence is 22 words long and contains two commas. You have sentences of 55+ words with no punctuation. I did not have time to point all of these out to you, line by line; it is your responsibility to proofread for such sentences and insert commas according to the rules of usage. Go to Writing Resources and study the PowerPoint talk Commas: The Basics. THESIS STATEMENT. Although I can understand you wanting to provide some background on your topic, the three paragraphs of research here (697 words) is way overboard. You don’t need all of this research in an introduction. It should be reduced by at least half, should contains a thesis statement, and the rest of the material you have edited out of the Intro can be put into other categories. More serious is the fact that you have no thesis statement, a major oversight which caused you to lose points. The thesis statement needs to tell the reader what kind of an overview you will be taking in your synthesis of sources. Here is an example of a thesis statement from a previous “A” grade Multi-Source. An analysis of literature confirms that adolescents are susceptible to false confessions and provides its contributing factors, as well as recommendations for the implementation of laws and practices to aid in the prevention of adolescents and false confessions. Synthesis of Sources: This draft is completely lacking in any synthesis of sources, which is the main point of the project. THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 3 References: Almost all of your References end incorrect, and I have pointed this out many times before, so I don’t know what to do at this point but just continue to subtract more grade points. Are you looking at my notes? The Treaty of Versailles; Its Impact on Germany and other States Le, Michael University of Maryland University College Professor Wettergreen 2018/12/08 THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 4 The Treaty of Versailles; Its Impact on Germany and other States Introduction In January of 1919 at Versailles, the Paris Peace Conference was convened with the primary objective being to establish terms of peace at the end of World War 1. Many nations participated in the forum, but it was largely dominated by the ‘big four' who included representatives from Great Britain, USA, France, and Italy (DOS, 2009). The four would set the pace of the meeting and even decide on the terms that would see Germany cornered, the country was not part of the peace conference and would only late be invited to sign off on what was agreed by the other over thirty countries or face another round of war. Part of what was agreed and considered as the pivotal issue of the agreement was the plan to develop a League of Nations which would serve as an international forum and a collective security agreement something that was strongly being pushed by the U.S delegation to which President Woodrow Wilson was a strong advocate (DOS, 2009). The President firmly believed that it is only through the League that future wars could be prevented. The grueling War had resulted in massive loss of lives estimated to be more than eight million and THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 5 approximately $260 billion which could be compared to six times more than the sum of all the national debt that was accumulated by the whole world from the end the 18th century up to 1914 (Henig, 2011). It was a costly war. The negotiations in Paris were weakened by the absence of key stakeholders like Russia who had been an allied force up to the end of 1917 when under the new government-the Bolshevik, resorted to pulling out of the war. It was for that reason and the decision by the same government to repudiate the outstanding financial debts of Russia to the Allies that the Allied Powers refused to invite them into the negotiations. Russia had angered them even further after exposing the secret agreements that the Allies had concerning the War. Another important stakeholder in the negotiations that were excluded was the Central Power made up of Germany, Austria and Hungary, and Bulgaria that despite being on the opposing side ought to have been on the negotiation table (Weiner, n.d). The goal of the negotiations leaned more towards a punishment directed on the Central Powers predominantly on Germany, an issue that France pushed for and with the backing of the Allied Powers. Germany had to accept the responsibility or face another war. The allies had the upper hand, the terms were preposterous, but they were determined to punish Germany. In the agreement they demanded reparations, they pushed to THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 6 completely disable the German forces by making major cuts to their troops. The Germans were enraged and even went on to brand the politicians that appended their signatures to the Paris agreements as ‘November Criminals' (Weiner, n.d). The Treaty of Versailles, overall, did not form the basis of stability within Europe as it was hoped, the agreements were imposed on Germany by the top three Western power following their triumph in the First World War where the U.S had joined at the latter part as an associate. The settlement's two parts which included the territorial provisions and the economic, as well as financial segments, were considered as preposterous and a failure by many analysts and scholars (Trachtenberg, 2000). The signing of the treaty resulted in several political as well as economic crises in the early part of the 1920s and then later in the 1930s (Trachtenberg, 2000). Germany lost much of its territories which it had seized under the Prussian Monarchy, and it amounted to approximately 13.5 percent of its territory under the terms of the territory that were placed under the jurisdiction of the foreign nations (Magana, 2003). France took over Alsace and Lorraine and the German coal mines in Saar, Poland took over West Prussia and Posen Province, other areas were also taken up by Belgium, Denmark, Czechoslovakia, and the League of Nations (Magana, 2003). THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 7 The initial objective, the intention to punish Germany in particular, ended up Thereafter, you don’t have to put an in-text citation after every sentence. causing more harm to more countries, the impact was felt by many countries in Europe and globally. Impact of the Treaty on Allied Powers The impact of the Treaty of Versailles for Japan was mixed, the country benefitted from the treaty but also lost on other fronts. Considering that it was an allied power, and so was part of the triumphant team, the Paris Peace Conference made the country gain further control on Shantung together with the German Pacific islands that were to the northern part of the equator. Nevertheless, Japan still found the post-war agreement as not satisfactory enough. First, it had wished to take more control over China, Fifteen Demands of 1915 were not fulfilled. Japan expected to be the unquestionable leader in the East Asian hegemony. It had a strong desire to expand its energy and coupled by an efficient economy and an up to the task navy and the force of anti-colonialism it felt that it did not come out of the talks with a large-enough stake. The Asian leaders considered the Treaty of Versailles as intolerable something that made the Western powers quite hesitant. There was a potential for a shift of power something that they did not want. Increased THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 8 power in the East was unacceptable; it could portend the retreat of Western power as well as the influence (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). In such a scenario, Japan would be the obvious leader of the assault considering it was burdened by the high population and a shortage of resources. Japan was determined to tilt the scale and find a more equitable agreement with the West where it could be allowed to expand and spread its tentacles in the East and even beyond. However, for the guardians of the East, Britain, France, the U.S, and the Netherlands that would not be acceptable. Japan like other countries did not benefit much from the Treaty of Versailles but came under more scrutiny by the Western powers (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). The U.S under President Wilson’s plan, in response to the Japanese threat committed to extending its naval base and built programs that were designed to contain the Eastern power. Impact of the Treaty on Central Powers A key stakeholder in the War and one that would have played an important role in the Treaty of Versailles was USSR. Beth However, following the Versailles Treaty the Soviet Union after being sidelined by the Allied Powers formed an unlikely alliance with the Germans. The two countries alliance was mainly triggered by being denied roles in the Paris talks. They had both been ostracized in the aftermath of the agreements THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 9 and also after that suffered from the current of the European and diplomatic affairs. To the Soviet’s, the alliance brought with it a promise of good relations. The two countries met at the Rapallo Treaty in 1922 and they both renounced reparations (Graebner and Bennet, 2011; Toussaint, 2017). It was also a forum that set the stage for a military alliance, they agreed on cooperation where Germany would avoid the restrictions of the Versailles Treaty and train in the Soviet Union. The Red Army would, in turn, benefit from the military expertise of the Germans and their high command (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). Earlier interventions by the Allied Forces to bring the Soviet and Germans to the table under the Genoa Economic Conference in 1922 had failed, breaking down after Russia declined to honor a pre-war debt with France (Fink, 1986). Following the cooperation between the new state, Russia was sidelined even further by the Allied Forces and the rest of the world especially while under its Bolshevik government. It experienced continued diplomatic, economic, as well as political exclusion (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). A crucial part of the Treaty of Versailles Agreement was that Germany would pay reparations something that was increasingly becoming difficult especially on the backdrop of economic and social problems that it faced. The French and Belgians even resorted to crossing the Rhine and THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 10 taking control of the Ruhr, an industrial part of Germany that also bordered the two countries with the goal of recovering the funds the payments that Germany had defaulted on. To the U.S, in the period after the signing of the agreement, the country's economy was facing a boom. Many Americans made a lot of fortune investing in Stocks and Shares that they chased after so few stocks that led to the market becoming over-heated. Come 1929 the prices had reached their highest, and they began tumbling down (Weiner, n.d). The value of the market had nearly halved in less than a year resulting in Wall Street Crash. People moved in fast to get their money, and it led to businesses going bust and high unemployment rates. The problem would spill over the borders to Europe and other parts considering that the economies were all linked together. Pressure mounted on Germany to pay back the loans from the money it had borrowed from America leading to German companies failing. Unemployment went up so high in Germany which by 1932 was more than 6 million (Weiner, n.d). The collapse brought Germany deeply into crisis and set the stage for reprisal attacks. Germany was at the very heart of both Wars. It was responsible for the disaster in 1914 as well as 1939, all with the ambitious intent of expanding eastwards and with its aggression laying the stage for both Beth Wars. Under Kaiser in 1914, there was much backing and fuel for the First THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 11 World War; he created the crisis while in 1939 Hitler with the Holocaust and other Nazi crimes resulted in the second War. The Treaty of Versailles had the opportunity to settle the problem of an aggrieved Germany but failed to do so. It is widely believed that without an Adolf Hitler there may not have been another war and it all fell back to the Versailles Treaty. The world was once again brought to its knees with the War. The Democratic powers that were the force behind the Treaty of Versailles were given ample warning of the dire consequences but failed to alter the agreement nor focus on a better agreement (Hawley, 2004). The major themes that were discovered as a means of gaining power over the populace by Hitler were the economic disasters of the world depression which granted the inroads to the masses that had suffered immensely during Germany's economic collapse in the 1920s in the aftermath of the Treaty of Versailles. With the promises that food will be made available, employment and the restoration of national pride, it all made up for a powerful appeal. The economic disaster was linked to the Treaty of Versailles by Hitler, and according to him, it is the politicians that lost the war and not the generals, the band of the ‘November Criminal' (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). On the contrary, according to Shirer a correspondent at the time, the German generals were the shrewd ones and THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 12 had maneuvered the then republican government to signing the armistice that the military leaders had insisted upon and thereafter had asked the government to agree to the “Treaty of Versailles.” The Impact of the Treaty on the Non-Independent States The countries in the Middle-East have been considered as beneficiaries of the Treaty of Versailles, some of the main States that got independence as a result of the Treaty included Iraq and Transjordan with the Arab dignitaries and head who included Prince Faisal of Iraq who ended up being the King of the now independent state. Prince Abdullah, I ibn Hussein ended up being the Amir of Transjordan. The treaty set out the preconditions that resulted in the colonial territories and certain Arabian areas that were under the Ottoman Empire previous being assigned to the League of Nations under the requirements of the Treaty (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). Initially, Britain had received the regions of Iraq, Jordan, and Israel with the French getting Syria and Lebanon. However, following the Balfour Declaration of 1917, there was the disposition of Arab territories by the Paris Conference (Teitelbaum, 2010). It was the Letter from Lord Balfour the then British foreign secretary writing to Lord Rothschild in support of setting up a home for the Jewish people in Palestine that guided the post War period in the aftermath of the Treaty of Versailles. THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 13 The San Remo Conference in 1920 led to Syria and Lebanon being granted Class A mandate to France, while Iraq and Palestine achieved the same status under the supervision of Britain. Class A mandates meant that the countries were to be granted independence from their supervision when it was determined that they could stand on their own (Teitelbaum, 2010). The agreements set the stage for independence from British rule starting off with Iraq in 1932, followed by Lebanon and Syria in 1941, Transjordan which became Jordan and Palestine in 1946 and 1948 respectively. It was the desire that was clearly elucidated by the eloquent arguments by Faisal together with other Arab leaders on behalf of the Arabian States that yielded the imperialist forces and interests of Britain as well as France and to some extent though lesser of those of Italy and Japan. Conclusion The Treaty of Versailles that brought to the table more than thirty countries was mainly dominated by the Big Four, France, Italy, Great Britain, and the U.S. The primary objective was to develop an agreement that would not only bring an end to perpetual Wars but also set the course for the post-World War 1 peaceful coexistence. President Woodrow Wilson pushed for the development of a league of nations, a supposed international unity pact, and forum that would drive collective security policy THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 14 to help stop any future wars. The Versailles Treat was however used as an opportunity by the Allied Powers pioneered by France to punish Germany for its role in the just ended war. Scholar has pointed to an alternative approach which would have brought greater success and probably changed the course of history, probably even would have led to the Second World War being avoided altogether (Trachtenberg, 2000). A negotiated formal military alliance with France between Great Britain and America, a financial settlement that based on equality and community sacrifice and canceling the War debts and instead united to rebuild what had been destroyed in the war would have yielded better outcome (Trachtenberg, 2000). The impact of the treaty was a key factor in the subsequent disagreements; it threw Germany into greater debt being forced to pay reparations for the War. More negative effects of the Treaty have been linked to the Great Recession which had led to millions of jobs within Germany, Europe, and also in America. The Treaty is also believed as the main trigger for the Holocaust and the Second World War as a whole. The far-reaching effects of the Treaty point to an agreement that was doomed to fail from the very beginning by its isolation of key stakeholder’s chief among them being Germany and Russia. The treaty proved beneficial to THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 15 some States like for those in the Middle East that went on to gain independence, and for some like the U.S who’s economy went on to perform tremendously well but affected by the Recession (Graebner and Bennet, 2011). For many states, however, especially in Europe it set the stage for more strife, a period of uncertainty, and later they were plunged into War. References Fink, C. (1986). Italy and the Genoa Conference of 1922, The International History Review, Vol. 8, No. 1. Pp. 41-55 Graebner N.A and Bennet, E.M. (2011) The Versailles Treaty and Its Legacy The Failure of the Wilsonian Vision, Cambridge University Press. Hawley, C. (2004). “Hot Topic in Germany: Aggression in World War I,” The Christian Science Monitor, 6–7. THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES 16 Henig, R. (2011). Versailles and Peacekeeping, BBC. Retrieved from http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/worldwars/wwone/versailles_01.shtml Magana, C. (2003). Signing of the Versailles Treaty, University of California, Santa Barbara. Retrieved from http://www.history.ucsb.edu/faculty/marcuse/classes/33d/projects/1920s/CarlosTreaty.ht m Teitelbaum, J. (2010). Israel as the Nation-State of the Jewish People: From the San Remo Conference (1920) to the Netanyahu-Abbas Talks. Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs. Retrieved from http://jcpa.org/article/israel-as-the-nation-state-of-the-jewish-peoplefrom-the-san-remo-conference-1920-to-the-netanyahu-abbas-talks/ Toussaint, E. (2017) The Soviet counter-attack: the Treaty of Rapallo, 1922, Centenary of the Russian Revolution and the Repudiation of Debt. Retrieved from http://www.cadtm.org/spip.php?page=imprimer&id_article=15160 Trachtenberg, M. (2000) Versailles revisited, Security Studies, 9:3, 191-205, DOI: 10.1080/09636410008429409 U.S Department of State, (2009). The Paris Peace Conference and the Treaty of Versailles, Retrieved from https://2001-2009.state.gov/r/pa/ho/time/wwi/89875.htm Weiner (n.d). The Treaty of Versailles, Holocaust Explained, Weiner Library. Retrieved from https://www.theholocaustexplained.org/the-nazi-rise-to-power/the-weimar-republic/thetreaty-of-versailles/
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Hello buddy, I have attached your revised paper, since you had submitted the paper and I was just editing and adding to it, it shows a high level of plagiarism due to the parts done prior. However the areas I wrote are not plagiarized. Feel free to seek edits or clarity on the same. I will be glad to assist you

Running head: THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES

The Treaty of Versailles
Le, Michael
University of Maryland University College
Professor Wettergreen
2018/12/08

1

THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES

2
The Treaty of Versailles

Introduction
The Treaty of Versailles was a treaty that formed the basis of peace settlement after the
end of World War I. The first conference of the Treaty of Versailles was convened on 18 January
1919 at French Palace of Versailles but the treaty was signed on 28 June 1919. It was
coordinated by the three world powers at that time, referred to as the Big Three. The big three
consisted of representatives from Great Britain, USA, and France (U.S. Department of Defense,
2009). Italy was also invited to the conference. The meeting was convened to determine
Germany’s fate after World War I. Germany was required to take the full blame for causing the
war and all the damages that had been done. WWI was a grueling one, the war had resulted in
the loss of lives of at least eight million people and had devastating economic effects of about
260 US billion dollars (Henig, 2011). The four nations wanted Germany to pay the ultimate price
(Keynes, 2002). From the treaty, Britain wanted money, France and Italy wanted land and The
United States wanted peace. The other reason for the treaty was to create a global peace
organization. Therefore, the Versailles treaty gave birth to the League of Nations which was to
be the global peacekeeping organization. This thesis aims to discuss the Treaty of Versailles and
its terms. The paper also focuses on the effects of the treaty and how it contributed to the
emergence of World War II.
Terms of the Treaty of Versailles and its effects on Germany
The terms of the Treaty of Versailles categorically targeted Germany. It wanted to make
Germany as vulnerable as possible. Some terms of the treaty resulted in German’s territory to
become divided among other nations or the territory that was taken was required to form other
nations. German land like the Upper Silesia and Saar Basina; which were critical to the economy

THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES

3

of Germany were distributed to Poland and France, respectively (Keynes, 2002). Danzig was
received by Poland. Other areas that were taken from Germany included; France was given
Alsace Lorraine, Belgium got Eupen-Malmedy, Denmark was given North Schleswig, and West
Prussia which later was called Polish Corridor was also given to Poland (Magana, 2003).
Overseas colonies which belonged to Germany were also ceded which were ceded and given to
the Allies. The Treaty of Versailles leads to the creation of Austria as a country. Austria was
initially known as Austria- Hungary.
The Treaty of Versailles curtailed Germany’s transportation means. The river system of
German was put under control of a foreign nation. After Poland got Danzig, the Treaty of
Versailles placed Poland in a position to control the port and the railroads. The Treaty of
Versailles terms ordered Germany to give her ships and the marine to the allies. Germans were
also restricted on the number of military personnel they were supposed to have; they were only
allowed ...


Anonymous
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