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1.     Explain how to protect against date or acquaintance rape.

Jul 15th, 2015

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  1. 1

    Avoid becoming intoxicated in public and at parties -- keep yourself to a 1-2 drink limit. Alcohol decreases awareness, so people are less likely to take note of aggressive or coercive behavior. It is best to stay lucid, especially when with acquaintances and strangers.

  2. Always keep your eye on every beverage you drink. Keep it with you always- even to the restroom. Date rape drugs like rohypnol ("roofies"), gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB) and ketamine, which all can cause loss of or altered consciousness, are easily mixed into drinks when you are not looking. They are mostly tasteless, odorless (difficult to detect) and have no known or easily administered antidotes. Do not drink from communal containers, such as punch bowls.

  3. Once you lose sight of your drink, do not consume it any more. A substance could been added to your beverage during your absence, so get another drink. If someone offers to buy you a drink, watch the bartender prepare it and only accept the drink from the bartender.

  4. Do not give out personal information (such as your location or mobile number or address) or your daily schedule online. Do not allow new acquaintances to know you are alone at an event or that you live by yourself.

  5. Acknowledge and understand that consent to sexual activity can be withdrawn at any time. If you are uncertain that someone wants to engage in further sexual activity, or your sexual partner is not acting responsive to you, then you should stop and ask her/him how s/he feels before proceeding further. Do not take silence as a yes.

  6. Communicate your sexual and relationship boundaries clearly. Never assume a person interprets your passivity correctly -- where you are disinterested, they may perceive interest or believe that you wish to be pursued. If you are not interested in someone, make that clear to him/her. If a person's advances make you feel nervous, have nothing to do with them.

  7. "No" does not mean "yes, if you pressure someone long enough". If a person turns you down for either a date or sexual activity, do not continue to press the issue. An individual has the right to end sexual activity, even if they have previously or are currently involved in sexual behavior with you. Do not push personal boundaries.

  8. Be cautious if a person habitually tends to negate your opinions and feelings: "You don't believe that," or "You really don't feel that way,".

  9. Be cautious with anyone who displays hostility towards a gender or tends to verbally degrade and stereotype an entire gender: "They're all bitches or sluts", "They say one thing when they really mean another,".

  10. 1Be assertive with anyone who ignores your personal boundaries, regardless of the length of time you've been acquainted with the person.You have every right to stop a sexual act from continuing at any time, regardless of your attraction to the other person or any prior sexual acts you have done with them.

  11. Make an observation of how an individual treats service staff (waiters, clerks etc.). Is he rude and aggressive with them?

  12. Date people whose background you are familiar with in real life. Always meet initial dates in public and do not allow them to come to your home until you have known them for some time. Do not be pressured into inviting an individual into your home, even it's for an innocuous reason such as having a glass of water or using the bathroom.

  13. If you feel uncomfortable during a date, but have no transportation, call a cab. Alternately, use public transport or ask a friend/relative to drop you home. If you have no safe transport, ask a local police person's help. It is always better to prepare/plan for your return transportation in advance such as being aware of bus timings, cab numbers etc.

  14. Avoid going into secluded areas with your date until you have known him for some time. Meet up for dates and leave separately. Or go on double dates until you feel comfortable being alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

  15. Always let someone know who you are going with and what your itinerary is.

  16. Never be alone with people who ignore your personal boundaries. This is specifically directed at individuals who won't take "no" for an answer when you reject their romantic/sexual overtures and also those who attempt to coerce you into behavior that you find uncomfortable. If someone does this, cut off all communication.

  17. A person should never make you feel obligated to engage in a sexual act (this includes kissing) simply because they paid for drinks/dinner/entertainment. You are also not obligated to engage in sexual activity with someone after an 'X' amount of dates. Never date a person who espouses those beliefs.

  18. Do not go to an apartment or hotel room if you do not know the person well, and don't let them follow you to your room. Do not give out your room number, and ask hotel/apartment staff not to give out your information to anyone who may call to ask about it. Once you are with someone in their room - or they, in yours - it is much more difficult to extract yourself from a bad situation.

  19. If you are at a hotel, nightclub or restaurant alone, ask staff if someone can escort you to your vehicle. Notify staff if someone at the venue is harassing you.

  20. Don't be afraid to leave an uncomfortable environment. If your instincts are warning you to be afraid of a person or a situation, leave immediately.

  21. Do not be afraid to make a scene if you feel threatened by an acquaintance. Yell, kick, pound on a wall, throw things, do everything possible to attract outside attention.

  22. Act like a "bad" person if you feel threatened. Women especially are taught that in order to be "good," we must be docile, accepting, quiet and polite. This is wrong, especially at times when you feel threatened. If your instincts tell you that you need to get away from someone, get away and don't worry about hurting his/her feelings or causing a scene.

  23. When going out with friends, watch out for each other. Arrive together, check in with each other at various intervals, and leave together. Don't allow anyone you do not know take your friend somewhere else, even if it's not that far away, without checking on your friend first. If a friend appears intoxicated or high, escort them to a safe place immediately.

  24. Do not personally engage in or allow anyone in your presence to engage in sexual behavior with a highly intoxicated, high or unconscious individual. If you believe that a person is unable to give consent at that time, or that they are being coerced into a sexual act, make a scene. Tell the perpetrator(s) that you don't approve of what he/they are doing, demand that the perpetrator(s) stop, and call the police.

  25. Resist peer influence to join in on any abusive or criminal act.

  26. Offer assistance if you feel that someone is at risk or is being targeted for sexual assault. Call a cab, offer to escort someone home if a situation seems to be getting out hand.

  27. If you witnessed what you believe is a sexual assault, or an individual admits to having committed a sexual assault, you are obligated to report this information to the police.

  28. During a sexual assault, a victim should follow her instincts, while observing the behavior of the rapist as much as possible. If you find yourself in this situation, do what your instincts tell you to do to survive.

  29. Be aware of rape myths and the damage they do to victims, both genders, and general societal perceptions of the nature of sexual assault. Nobody "invites" sexual assault.

Please let me know if you need any clarification. I'm always happy to answer your questions.
Jul 15th, 2015

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