EDUC 2053 Parenting and Culture Handout of Guidelines for Course Project Family Case Project Draft 1 Guidelines General Issues 1. Due date: Tuesday, March 05 2. Page requirement : 6-8 pages, 12-point fonts, double-spaced (not including cover page, abstract, reference list, and appendix of transcripts) 3. Submission: Please name your file as your name + draft 2 (e.g., Tao Wang draft 2) and submit to Folder of Draft 1 on Harvey. Required Topics 1. Parenting styles of your parents. 1) What styles did they have according to their understanding? Why did they have these styles? Do you agree, and why? 2) What styles did their parents have? Is there any connection between your parents’ and your grandparents? 3) You may also ask your parents and siblings give comments on those styles. 2. At least other two topics Required Contents 1. Theoretical introduction Here you introduce your readers relevant theories and research findings and explain how they are help you study these topics in your family case project. For example, you may introduce Baumrind’s theory of parenting styles, which could categorize parenting styles of your parents and grandparents. You should include at least three theories. The theories can be selected from, but not limited to, following list. 1) Parenting style theory 2) Family system theory 3) Family of original influence 4) Ecological theory 5) Development and learning theories 6) Research on transition to parenthood … 2. Research topics Based on the review of research literature, you propose topics you are going to study in this family project. Please briefly explain why you are interested in these topics briefly. 3. Family background Here you introduce background information of your family, especially the information that particularly relevant to research topics. EDUC 2053 Parenting and Culture Handout of Guidelines for Course Project 4. Data analysis Here you unfold your data analysis and make your arguments. Be sure that your arguments are data-based and theoretically relevant. Please quote your data nicely. Please follow APA format for in-text citations. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style_g uide/in_text_citations_the_basics.html 5. Summary You summarize your main research findings in a coherent paragraph. 6. Reflections You provide your reflections on new understanding of your parents and family, how this study may help you or people around you become good parents. Rubrics Research topics 1 Theoretical framework 5 Analysis and Writing others 6 3 Total 15 points A Case Study on Parenting The University of Tulsa April 25, 2018 Abstract The purpose of this paper was to determine what ideas and theories underlie the decisions my parents made while parenting my brother and I when we were younger. My mother Stephanie’s observations and recollections were used to gather evidence that parenting type, generational parenting, attribution theories, and religious beliefs were the strongest influencers. Her reflections also show evidence of marital conflict surrounding parenting. Theoretical framework Parental types are widely known, even if they aren’t well understood. One theorist, Diana Baumrind, developed three, well-known parenting types with stereotypical attitudes, actions, and underlying beliefs: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. In Western cultures, like the United States, authoritative parenting is seen as the most wholesome and appropriate type of parenting. Children parented by authoritative parents experience the most positive outcomes. According to Baumrind, the underlying characteristics of authoritative parents are, “encourage[ing] individuality and independence; they are warm and understanding of their child’s perspective. Authoritative parents require mature behavior within the child’s range of ability, and base demands and prohibitions on their child’s attributes, abilities, and developmental level” (Baumrind 2008, page 20). Authoritarian parenting is typed as an opposite to authoritative parenting: cold, inappropriately demanding, and inconsiderate of a child’s developmental abilities. Authoritarian parents are controlling and domineering, utilizing harmful forms of control such as “pressure that is nonresponsive to the child’s emotional and psychological needs (but instead) stifles independent expression and autonomy” (Soenens & Vansteenkiste 2010, Page 75). Permissive parenting can fall under two different categories on a different opposing side to authoritative parenting; neglectful or indulgent. Permissive parents may want to be their child’s friend or they may have little interaction with them. In either case, permissive parenting does not produce good outcomes. “When children resist or test limits, permissive parents avoid confrontation…” (Baumrind 2008, Page 19). In addition to the broad parenting types, parents utilize various forms of control over their children. Control is also a broad category with different types and underlying beliefs. Parental control can involve corporal punishment, it can by psychological or physical, it can be extrinsic or intrinsic. In an article by Soenens & Vansteenkiste about psychological control, negative forms of psychological control can be subcategorized as guilt-induction, contingent love or love withdrawal, instilling anxiety, and invalidation of the child’s perspective. Corporal punishment is an example of physical control. It is also very controversial in Western cultures, like in the United States. Many different theorists disagree as to whether it is an appropriate form of control for parents to exert over children because it is often associated with child abuse. Baumrind draws a distinction between corporal punishment and abuse. She states “Abusive parents are more likely to be hyperreactive to negative stimuli and to have an extreme need to control their children. Their punishment is less contingent on the child’s behavior than on their own inner state.” (Baumrind, Larzelere and Cowan 2002, Page 585). Other theorists, like Gershoff, try to show the difference between abuse and corporal punishment with charts showing frequency and location of physical punishment. In any case, many parents still utilize corporal punishment as a form of control. The process of parenting also involves trying to determine the reasoning for why children make the decisions that they do. Parents hold different beliefs, sometimes referred to as attribution theories, for why children do what they do. Parents may attribute a child’s actions to their developmental stage, temperament, personality, or a myriad of other reasons. Attribution theory can be very influential. A parent who attributes their child’s struggles to a developmental stage may parent very differently than a parent who attributes struggles to a character flaw. (Sigel & McGillicuddy-De Lisi, 2002). Research question The focus of this case study is on my mother’s personal reflection of parenting my brother and I, her co-parenting with my father, and her analysis of my father’s upbringing by my paternal grandparents and of my maternal grandparents’ parenting of her and my aunt. My overall research question was “What are the thoughts, feelings, and justifications for my parents’ parenting?” I was curious to know what their driving beliefs were for why they did or did not do certain things. My mother’s answers showed a strong belief in parental control, based on religious values. There is an indication in her answers that she holds several different attribution theories. For example, she believes personality is a biological trait that can make parenting easier or more difficult. There is also some evidence of generational permissive parenting on my father’s side and a different parenting approach by herself in her answers. Research methods The data for this case study was gathered via email interview questions. I separately emailed both my mother and father the same questions. My mother was the only one to consistently respond, so I focused this analysis on her responses. There were two reasons for conducting the interviews via email. The first and primary reason for emailing the questions were to give both of my parent’s time to process and formulate their responses. My mother has especially expressed on numerous occasions throughout my life that she is “not good at putting her thoughts into words.” I did not want this experience to be stressful for her. The second reason for emailing the questions were a matter of convenience; both I and my parents were very busy and did not have time to sit down for an interview. Data and Analysis Examples and Analysis of Parental Control Based upon the answers provided by my mother, Stephanie, parental control is necessary for training a child to be accountable to a higher authority. Her answers also show evidence that parental control should not be exerted in some ways. She explains, So when I would punish you and Wesley for disobedience- it was with the thought that one day neither of you would be living under our authority anymore. That you would answer to God for how you lived your lives one day, whether you lived by his commandments etc....that sin can have very terrible consequences that affect not only you, but the lives of others as well. Case in point...Laurie and Rory and their children and just look at the world in general. Her explanation for why punishment is necessary, “that sin can have very terrible consequences that affect not only you, but the lives of others as well…” shows evidence of an underlying belief that children should be parented to eventually become good people or citizens within society, living by a moral or religious code. When asked about my maternal grandparents’ parenting of her and my aunt, she discussed the punishments she received as a child. How Stephanie interprets her own personality as a child and the frustrations she had with me, her daughter, is telling. She unknowingly makes two similar remarks, “I was a self-willed child and I was not easy,” and “…you didn't easily obey, were very verbal early on…” Based on these statements, it could be said that she holds strong beliefs that parents should be very much in control; a strong-willed child is not a positive thing. However, she does not advocate for using just any type of force or control to discipline. She disapproves of her own being parented; They parented as they were raised. I was a self-willed child and I was not easy. I received a lot of spankings, and punishments and deserved them, but I think if they had known about permissive and legalistic parenting and the tools I might not have been as hard to teach and raise. I internally would have obeyed out of love rather than fear of punishment…. I obeyed my parents outwardly out of fear of punishment, but inwardly I was angry at them. Interestingly, Stephanie still advocates the use of corporal punishment as an appropriate form of control in parenting. She said But a young child does not have the ability to reason or make decisions very far into the future and they do have very little self-control for the most part. When they are very young they only really understand pain. So about when they start walking and are in diapers a spanking on a padded bottom usually will affect the desired outcome. With this confusing dichotomy presented, I asked her an additional question about her being parented by my grandparents. I asked, “You said that you obeyed your own parents out of fear. What did you change or attempt to change in your own parenting to get your children to obey out of love instead?” Stephanie then offered an answer to clarify that she obeyed out of fear of punishment. This statement shows evidence of externalized control; Stephanie was not compliant because of intrinsic motivators. When I said I obeyed out of fear, it was fear of the punishment. I loved my parents and respected them. I didn't always obey and if I did when I didn't want to, I didn't obey internally. It could be argued that although Stephanie advocates for corporal punishment (spanking), she does not believe that it was the right parenting tool for her own upbringing. She qualifies that spanking should involve a discussion of wrong doing, a follow up with mending the relationship, and should not be done in anger. You need to tell them, I said....and you disobeyed and so mommy now will spank you. It needs to be done not in anger, but [in] love and after they have stopped crying and pouting etc….a hug and I love you are appropriate. She does not state if this was attempted by her with her own children and actually presents a scenario where the opposite had taken place with my father (although she does draw a line between her parenting and his). This shows evidence of contradictory theory and practice. I do know that he for the most part would not spank or deal with either of you until he had told you several times and then when you hadn't obeyed he would get angry and then spank you. With Wesley there were times, he would tell Wesley several times to do or not do something and Wesley wouldn't obey and then I would point it out and your dad he would be angry with me and spank him almost to the point of it being abuse. That made me not want to say anything to your dad in the future when Wesley was disobeying. Examples and Analysis of Attribution Theory Stephanie has several interesting attribution theories when it comes to analyzing the actions of her two children. Many issues she encountered during our childhood are attributed to personality, stubbornness, and disability. For example, much of the disciplinary issues she faced with me, her daughter, she explains stemmed from my personality of being what she describes, Sanguine/Choleric temperament. She bases this on a four-temperament concept, which is based in Greek Humourism. She stated: You from very early on I found were a Sanguine/ Choleric temperament. It means you want to have fun and be in charge and if either one of those was negated you were not a happy camper. You constantly questioned and argued about things like bedtime, being quiet, if a coat was called a coat or a jacket...you had that argument with grandma once. She alludes to this conflict arising because she is of an opposite temperament, which she describes as Melancholy. Her own words though, do not seem to realize the similarities in mother and daughter personalities or actions, like those that were expressed in parental control. But, she does recognize similarities between herself and her son, Wesley. When asked about parenting difficulties she says that one of the most difficult things she had to deal with involved her son. I guess you could say with Wesley and him having an audiological and verbal processing disorder. He also had to have a linguae frenectomy at four years old, the skin under his tongue clipped. He also had a speech impediment and couldn't pronounce all the letters correctly and so he and I spent about 3-4 years in speech therapy and also in therapy to help him learn to process what he was hearing and how to assemble his thoughts and verbally express them. She also points to stubbornness in her son: “This lack of accepting instruction has been common for him throughout his life. It's like he has to try it himself and suffer defeat rather than take the knowledge of others and apply it.” What is interesting is that, while Stephanie almost completely attributes her daughter’s actions to personality, she is not as quick to attribute her son’s actions to a four-temperament personality. When asked by me, “Do you think Wesley's stubbornness stems from his own personality? Or is it something else?” Stephanie responded, “Wesley...not for sure...I think he just defaults to whatever is the path of least resistance. He has to do it his way, regardless of how much it hurts I guess.” The differentiation is hard to analyze. Examples and Analysis of Parenting Types Stephanie’s analysis of her husband’s parenting was that as he was parented by permissive parents and that he parented their children in a similar way. She also notes a difference in parenting interactions between my father’s parents, which is a problem she raises between herself and my father. His mother would yell at them when they weren't obeying. His dad would sit and do nothing while his mom was yelling at them. His mom would get so frustrated and throw things at them, one time she threw a fork at one of the boys while they were eating dinner. Your papa would work 12 hour shifts and then come home and go to bed. Your maw maw would drop them off at a movie theatre for hours on end. That was a babysitter I guess. She addresses some similar interactions in my father’s parenting of us. When complaining about the impact of computers on my younger brother she states, “Your dad liked to use it as a baby sitter too I think.” She alludes to a neglectful interaction between my father and brother. What Stephanie does not give much indication of in any of her answers is her own parenting type. She does describe how she understands good parenting should look but offers no specific examples from herself. Her parenting theories align with authoritative parenting, but she does not list specific instances. She does state how she generally tried to change her own parenting style to be different from her own upbringing. It was Growing Kids God's Way that showed me how we should parent differently than what either my or your dad's parents did. That's what I tried to implement to the best of my ability. There is evidence that these different parenting beliefs caused martial tension. Stephanie lamented that her parenting goals clashed with my father, Randy’s. She stated that trying to get my father to attend parenting classes with her at church was unsuccessful: “…but your dad wouldn't, "He didn't want to have anyone telling him how to raise his kids", he later told me.” Stephanie’s goals for parental control appeared to her, thwarted by my father’s stubbornness to seek instruction. She compares her child and family situation to what her ideal was: there was obedience and respect and the parents didn't seem to have many of the issues I was dealing with. That their preteen and teen children were not in rebellion, and I had seen all my life in so many families. I wanted that for myself, my children and marriage, I wanted my children to not go through the consequences of rebellion I had known so many others to have done. I wanted to [have] the peaceful home and support…To not deal with disobedience, is to teach your children to rebel. It is to teach them to sin. It is to teach them it is okay to disobey, okay [to] not heed your parents voice, to ignore their authority. The Bible says that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. While her ultimate wish was obedience and religious fulfillment from her children, it may be that Randy’s ultimate goal was to not feel emotionally undermined as a parent. When describing how she had to be the mean parent, she further insinuates the stress this placed on their marriage by describing a best-case parenting scenario: A two parent, mother and father united in beliefs and goals for themselves and their family. Parents who love and support each other and desire to raise their children in accordance to Biblical standards… Stephanie also juxtaposes her ideal parenting by describing what she considers poor parenting. Interestingly, her idea of poor parenting is derived from parenting observations of her niece and nephews by her own biological sister and her ex-husband Rory, my father’s biological brother. Laurie and Rory. I don't even know where to start. He parented like his dad...pretty absentee and hands off. She was terrible at keeping her house clean, dishes washed, etc.. They were all always sick it seemed like. Bleeding into this analysis of what Stephanie describes as bad parenting is evidence of the beliefs of maternal and paternal roles. While there are other more serious critiques she could bring forward, she focuses on my aunt’s neglect of a stereotypical motherly role. She also points out what she thinks is a generational parenting style that was passed down to my uncle by stating that he was like his father, “…pretty absentee and hands off.” She has a similar critique of his brother, her husband Randy, “I had to be the bad guy, and administer punishment, your dad did not do so much.” Her assessment of her niece and nephew’s upbringing by their father and my father and his brother’s upbringing by their father, does align with current research on fathering. According to Thomassin and Suveg, fathers play an important role in the emotional upbringing of their children. Having a positive emotional relationship with fathers paid more dividends in the long run than with mothers even. The reverse was also true. They state, “Thus, while mothers may exhibit greater reciprocity overall, the reciprocity that fathers share with their children appears remarkable and meaningful… it might be particularly salient to children, and children may, thus, attribute greater importance to the meaning of the interaction.” (Thomassin and Suveg 2014, Page 42). Thus, Stephanie’s critique of her father in law, brother in law, and husband has a valid foundation. Summary In summary, Stephanie’s major parenting influences seemed to be her religious beliefs, personal theories, her own experiences of being parented, observations of other parents, and her conflicts in parenting with her husband. She holds strong views that parenting should follow protestant, Christian guidelines; children are obedient to their parents and ultimately to God. She believes that personality types play an important role in the parent-child interaction. She concludes that her own parenting did not lead her to want to be obedient, but rather to avoid punishment. She believes that mothers and fathers have an active role in parenting, and that being “hands off” is negative. She also believes that parenting was made more difficult from having different approaches to parenting than her husband. References Baumrind, D. (2008). Authoritative parenting for character and competence. In D. Streight (Ed.) Parenting for Character: Five Experts, Five Practices (pp. 17-30). Oregon: CSEE. Baumrind, Diana, Robert E. Larzelere, and Philip A. Cowan. 2002. "Ordinary Physical Punishment: Is It Harmful? Comment On Gershoff (2002).". Psychological Bulletin 128 (4): 580-589. doi:10.1037//0033-2909.128.4.580. Sigel, I. E., & McGillicuddy-De Lisi, A. V. (2002). Parent beliefs are cognitions: The dynamic belief systems model. In M. H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting: Being and becoming a parent (pp. 485-508). Mahwah, NJ, US: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers. Soenens, Bart, and Maarten Vansteenkiste. 2010. "A Theoretical Upgrade Of The Concept Of Parental Psychological Control: Proposing New Insights On The Basis Of Self-Determination Theory". Developmental Review 30 (1): 74-99. doi:10.1016/j.dr.2009.11.001. Thomassin, Kristel, and Cynthia Suveg. 2014. "Reciprocal Positive Affect And Well-Regulated, Adjusted Children: A Unique Contribution Of Fathers". Parenting 14 (1): 28-46. doi:10.1080/15295192.2014.880017. Transcripts Parent Interview 
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