Can you improve or revise my essay?

Sep 19th, 2015
Art Design
Price: $10 USD

Question description

Is my essay like my topic sentence, details, or conclusion? I'm bad and struggles at writing good essays. These are all the directions my teacher gave me.


Guiding Question: What is home to you? Consider who, what, when, where, why this is home, and how you consider your response “home.”

In a constructed response, describe home. Provide facts and details that help your audience (me!) understand your concept of home. Provide pictures if possible!

To form a correct constructed response, please follow these guidelines:

- Answer the prompt completely

- Paragraph(s) include the following: an introduction, a detailed description of home, supporting details (including pictures, if possible), and a conclusion

(Feel free to type underneath this prompt so you can use it as a reference, then delete the prompt afterwards so you can submit your writing.)


  Home means a place where majority of my family started or originated from. Most of my cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews live in a small town in Vietnam. They're far away from cities and it takes longer to drive there from airports whenever we come to visit. I can say that I like it there more than here, it gives me a break from American nourishment for the opportunity to try more of the Vietnamese cuisines I like. Numerous friendly people or community often invites us to eat for free or hang out with them. There are food carts that roam the village from many of my favorite meals sometimes nice enough to let us eat for free, otherwise it's really cheap. The streets are uproarious in the morning, waking up the town to start their day. Last year we stayed at my aunt's place, she runs a pharmacy and has a wide house with multiple floors. We didn't have to drive to visit our other relatives, rather we're such a short distance to one another's that we can simply walk. There is also a community ranch at our village where people harvest fruits and vegetables, and take some meat at a little cost. I envision that I lived here forever because almost everything is one-fourth the price of here and we're close to many businesses. These are the various reasons and aspects why I consider this to be home. I'm closer to my relatives along alongside friendly neighbors who appreciates to chat with us.

Tutor Answer

(Top Tutor) Adesh K
School: New York University

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