Corey, G. (2017). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy (10th ed.).
Boston, MA: Cengage. ISBN: 9781305263727.
Proposition 1: The Capacity for Self-Awareness
Freedom, choice, and responsibility constitute the foundation of self-awareness. The greater our
awareness, the greater our possibilities for freedom (see Proposition 2). We increase our capacity
to live fully as we expand our awareness in the following areas:
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♦ We are finite and do not have unlimited time to do what we want in life.
♦ We have the potential to take action or not to act; inaction is a decision.
♦ We choose our actions, and therefore we can partially create our own destiny.
♦ Meaning is the product of discovering how we are “thrown” or situated in the world
and then, through commitment, living creatively.
♦ As we increase our awareness of the choices available to us, we also increase our sense
of responsibility for the consequences of these choices.
♦ We are subject to loneliness, meaninglessness, emptiness, guilt, and isolation.
♦ We are basically alone, yet we have an opportunity to relate to other beings.
We can choose either to expand or to restrict our consciousness. Because self-awareness is at
the root of most other human capacities, the decision to expand it is fundamental to human
growth. Here are some areas of emerging awareness that individuals may experience in the
counseling process:
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♦ They see how they are trading the security of dependence for the anxieties that
accompany choosing for themselves.
♦ They begin to see that their identity is anchored in someone else's definition of them;
that is, they are seeking approval and confirmation of their being in others instead of
looking to themselves for affirmation.
♦ They learn that in many ways they are keeping themselves prisoner by some of their
past decisions, and they realize that they can make new decisions.
♦ They learn that although they cannot change certain events in their lives they can
change the way they view and react to these events.
♦ They learn that they are not condemned to a future similar to the past, for they can learn
from their past and thereby reshape their future.
♦ They realize that they are so preoccupied with suffering, death, and dying that they are
not appreciating living.
♦ They are able to accept their limitations yet still feel worthwhile, for they understand
that they do not need to be perfect to feel worthy.
♦ They come to realize that they are failing to live in the present moment because of
preoccupation with the past, planning for the future, or trying to do too many things at
once.
Increasing self-awareness—which includes awareness of alternatives, motivations, factors
influencing the person, and personal goals—is an aim of all counseling. Clients need to learn that
a price must be paid for increased awareness. As we become more aware, it is more difficult to
“go home again.” Ignorance of our condition may have brought contentment along with a feeling
of partial deadness, but as we open the doors in our world, we can expect more turmoil as well as
the potential for more fulfillment.
Proposition 2: Freedom and Responsibility
A characteristic existential theme is that people are free to choose among alternatives and
therefore play a large role in shaping their own destiny. Schneider and Krug (2010) write that
existential therapy embraces three values: (1) the freedom to become within the context of
natural and self-imposed limitations; (2) the capacity to reflect on the meaning of our choices;
and (3) the capacity to act on the choices we make. Although we do not choose the
circumstances into which we are born, we create our own destiny by the choices we make. Sartre
claims we are constantly confronted with the choice of what kind of person we are becoming,
and to exist is never to be finished with this kind of choosing. Living an authentic existence
requires that we assume responsibility for our choices (Ruben & Lichtanski, 2015).
A central existential concept is that although we long for freedom we often try to escape from
our freedom by defining ourselves as a fixed or static entity (Russell, 2007). Jean-Paul Sartre
(1971) refers to this as the inauthenticity of not accepting personal responsibility. We can then
avoid choosing and instead make excuses such as these: “Since that's the way I'm made, I
couldn't help what I did” or “Naturally I'm this way, because I grew up in a dysfunctional
family.” An inauthentic mode of existence consists of lacking awareness of personal
responsibility for our lives and passively assuming that our existence is largely controlled by
external forces.
Freedom implies that we are responsible for our lives, for our actions, and for our failures to
take action. From Sartre's perspective, people are condemned to freedom. He calls for a
commitment to choosing for ourselves. Existential guilt is being aware of having evaded a
commitment, or having chosen not to choose. This guilt is a condition that grows out of a sense
of incompleteness, or a realization that we are not what we might have become. Guilt may be a
sign that we have failed to rise to the challenge of our anxiety and that we have tried to evade it
by not doing what we know is possible for us to do (Deurzen, 2012). This condition is not
viewed as neurotic, nor is it seen as a symptom that needs to be cured. Existential guilt can be a
powerful source of motivation toward transformation and living authentically (Ruben &
Lichtanski, 2015). The existential therapist explores this guilt to see what clients can learn about
the ways in which they are living their life. This guilt also results from allowing others to define
us or to make our choices for us. Sartre said, “We are our choices.” Authenticity implies that we
are living by being true to our own evaluation of what is a valuable existence for ourselves; it is
the courage to be who we are. One of the aims of existential therapy is to help people face up to
the difficulties of life with courage rather than avoiding life's struggles (Deurzen & Adams,
2011).
For existentialists, then, being free and being human are identical. Freedom and responsibility
go hand in hand. We are the authors of our lives in the sense that we create our destiny, our life
situation, and our problems (Russell, 1978). Assuming responsibility is a basic condition for
change. Clients who refuse to accept responsibility by persistently blaming others for their
problems are not likely to profit from therapy.
Frankl (1978) also links freedom with responsibility. He suggested that the Statue of Liberty on
the East Coast should be balanced with a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast. His basic
premise is that freedom is bound by certain limitations. We are not free from conditions, but we
are free to take a stand against these restrictions. Ultimately, these conditions are subject to our
decisions, which means we are responsible.
The therapist assists clients in discovering how they are avoiding freedom and encourages
them to learn to risk using it. Not to do so is to cripple clients and make them dependent on the
therapist. Therapists have the task of teaching clients that they can explicitly accept that they
have choices, even though they may have devoted most of their life to evading them. Those who
are in therapy often have mixed feelings when it comes to choice. As Russell (2007) puts it: “We
resent it when we don't have choices, but we get anxious when we do! Existentialism is all about
broadening the vision of our choices” (p. 111).
People often seek psychotherapy because they feel that they have lost control of how they are
living. They may look to the counselor to direct them, give them advice, or produce magical
cures. They may also need to be heard and understood. Two central tasks of the therapist are
inviting clients to recognize how they have allowed others to decide for them and encouraging
them to take steps toward choosing for themselves. In inviting clients to explore other ways of
being that are more fulfilling than their present restricted existence, some existential counselors
ask, “Although you have lived in a certain pattern, now that you recognize the price of some of
your ways, are you willing to consider creating new patterns?” Others may have a vested interest
in keeping the client in an old pattern, so the initiative for changing it will have to come from the
client.
Cultural factors need to be taken into account in assisting clients in the process of examining
their choices. A person who is struggling with feeling limited by her family situation can be
invited to look at her part in this process and values that are a part of her culture. For example,
Meta, a Norwegian American, is working to attain a professional identity as a social worker, but
her family thinks she is being selfish and neglecting her primary duties. The family is likely to
exert pressure on her to give up her personal interests in favor of what they feel is best for the
welfare of the entire family. Meta may feel trapped in the situation and see no way out unless she
rejects what her family wants. In cases such as this, it is useful to explore the client's underlying
values and to help her determine whether her values are working for her and for her family.
Clients such as Meta have the challenge of weighing values and balancing behaviors between
two cultures. Ultimately, Meta must decide in what ways she might change her situation, and she
needs to assess values based on her culture. The existential therapist will invite Meta to begin to
explore what she can do and to realize that she can be authentic in spite of pressures on her by
her situation. According to Vontress (2013), we can be authentic in any society, whether we are a
part of an individualistic or collectivistic society.
It is essential to respect the purpose that people have in mind when they initiate therapy. If we
pay careful attention to what our clients tell us about what they want, we can operate within an
existential framework. We can encourage individuals to weigh the alternatives and to explore the
consequences of what they are doing with their lives. Although oppressive forces may be
severely limiting the quality of their lives, we can help people see that they are not solely the
victims of circumstances beyond their control. Even though we sometimes cannot control things
that happen to us, we have complete control over how we choose to perceive and handle them.
Although our freedom to act is limited by external reality, our freedom to be relates to our
internal reality. At the same time that people are learning how to change their external
environment, they can be challenged to look within themselves to recognize their own
contributions to their problems. Through the therapy experience, clients may be able to discover
new courses of action that will lead to a change in their situation.
Proposition 3: Striving for Identity and Relationship to
Others
People are concerned about preserving their uniqueness and centeredness, yet at the same time
they have an interest in going outside of themselves to relate to other beings and to nature. Each
of us would like to discover a self or, to put it more authentically, to create our personal identity.
This is not an automatic process, and creating an identity takes courage. As relational beings, we
also strive for connectedness with others. Many existential writers discuss loneliness,
uprootedness, and alienation, which can be seen as the failure to develop ties with others and
with nature.
The trouble with so many of us is that we have sought directions, answers, values, and beliefs
from the important people in our world. Rather than trusting ourselves to search within and find
our own answers to the conflicts in our life, we sell out by becoming what others expect of us.
Our being becomes rooted in their expectations, and we become strangers to ourselves.
The Courage to Be Paul Tillich (1886–1965), a leading Protestant theologian of the 20th
century, believed awareness of our finite nature gives us an appreciation of ultimate concerns. It
takes courage to discover the true “ground of our being” and to use its power to transcend those
aspects of nonbeing that would destroy us (Tillich, 1952). Courage entails the will to move
forward in spite of anxiety-producing situations, such as facing our death (May, 1975). We
struggle to discover, to create, and to maintain the core deep within our being. One of the
greatest fears of clients is that they will discover that there is no core, no self, no substance, and
that they are merely reflections of everyone's expectations of them. A client may say, “My fear is
that I'll discover I'm nobody, that there really is nothing to me. I'll find out that I'm an empty
shell, hollow inside, and nothing will exist if I shed my masks.” If clients demonstrate the
courage to confront these fears, they might well leave therapy with an increased tolerance for the
uncertainty of life. By assisting clients in facing the fear that their lives or selves are empty and
meaningless, therapists can help clients to create a self that has meaning and substance that they
have chosen.
Existential therapists may begin by asking their clients to allow themselves to intensify the
feeling that they are nothing more than the sum of others' expectations and that they are merely
the introjects of parents and parent substitutes. How do they feel now? Are they condemned to
stay this way forever? Is there a way out? Can they create a self if they find that they are without
one? Where can they begin? Once clients have demonstrated the courage to recognize this fear,
to put it into words and share it, it does not seem so overwhelming. I find that it is best to begin
work by inviting clients to accept the ways in which they have lived outside themselves and to
explore ways in which they are out of contact with themselves.
The Experience of Aloneness The existentialists postulate that part of the human condition is
the experience of aloneness. But they add that we can derive strength from the experience of
looking to ourselves and sensing our separation. The sense of isolation comes when we
recognize that we cannot depend on anyone else for our own confirmation; that is, we alone must
give a sense of meaning to life, and we alone must decide how we will live. If we are unable to
tolerate ourselves when we are alone, how can we expect anyone else to be enriched by our
company? Before we can have any solid relationship with another, we must have a relationship
with ourselves. We are challenged to learn to listen to ourselves. We have to be able to stand
alone before we can truly stand beside another.
The Experience of Relatedness We humans depend on relationships with others. We want to
be significant in another's world, and we want to feel that another's presence is important in our
world. When we are able to stand alone and tap into our own strength, our relationships with
others are based on our fulfillment, not our deprivation. If we feel personally deprived, however,
we can expect little but a clinging and symbiotic relationship with someone else.
Perhaps one of the functions of therapy is to help clients distinguish between a neurotically
dependent attachment to another and a life-affirming relationship in which both persons are
enhanced. The therapist can challenge clients to examine what they get from their relationships,
how they avoid intimate contact, how they prevent themselves from having equal relationships,
and how they might create therapeutic, healthy, and mature human relationships. Existential
therapists speak of intersubjectivity, which is the fact of our interrelatedness with others and the
need for us to struggle with this in a creative way.
Struggling With Our Identity Because of our fear of dealing with our aloneness, Farha (1994)
points out that some of us get caught up in ritualistic behavior patterns that cement us to an
image or identity we acquired in early childhood. We become trapped in a doing mode to avoid
the experience of being. Part of the therapeutic journey consists of the therapist challenging
clients to begin to examine the ways in which they have lost touch with their identity, especially
by letting others design their life for them. The therapy process itself is often frightening for
clients when they realize that they have surrendered their freedom to others and that in the
therapy relationship they will have to assume their freedom again. By refusing to give easy
solutions or answers, existential therapists confront clients with the reality that they alone must
find their own answers.
Proposition 4: The Search for Meaning
A distinctly human characteristic is the struggle for a sense of significance and purpose in life. In
my experience the underlying conflicts that bring people into counseling and therapy are
centered in these existential questions: “Why am I here?” “What do I want from life?” “What
gives my life purpose?” “Where is the source of meaning for me in life?”
Existential therapy can provide the conceptual framework for helping clients challenge the
meaning in their lives. Questions that the therapist might ask are, “Do you like the direction of
your life?” “Are you pleased with what you now are and what you are becoming?” “If you are
confused about who you are and what you want for yourself, what are you doing to get some
clarity?”
The Problem of Discarding Old Values One of the problems in therapy is that clients may
discard traditional (and imposed) values without creating other, suitable ones to replace them.
What does the therapist do when clients no longer cling to values that they never really
challenged or internalized and now experience a vacuum? Clients may report that they feel like a
boat without a rudder. They seek new guidelines and values that are appropriate for the newly
discovered facets of themselves, and yet for a time they are without them. One of the tasks of the
therapeutic process is to help clients create a value system based on a way of living that is
consistent with their way of being.
The therapist's job is to trust in the capacity of clients to eventually create an internally derived
value system that provides the foundation for a meaningful life. They will no doubt flounder for
a time and experience anxiety as a result of the absence of clear-cut values. The therapist's trust
is important in helping clients trust their own capacity to create a new source of values.
Meaninglessness According to Frankl (1963), the central human concern is to discover meaning
that will give one's life direction. Frankl's life experiences and his clinical work led him to the
conclusion that a lack of meaning is the major source of existential stress and anxiety in modern
times. He views existential neurosis as the experience of meaninglessness. When the world we
live in seems meaningless, we may wonder whether it is worth it to continue struggling or even
living. Faced with the prospect of our mortality, we might ask, “Is there any point to what I do
now, since I will eventually die? Will what I do be forgotten when I am gone? Given the fact of
mortality, why should I busy myself with anything?” A man in one of my groups captured
precisely the idea of personal significance when he said, “I feel like another page in a book that
has been turned quickly, and nobody bothered to read the page.” Frankl believes that such a
feeling of meaninglessness is the major existential neurosis of modern life.
Meaninglessness in life can lead to emptiness and hollowness, or a condition that Frankl calls
the existential vacuum. This condition is often experienced when people do not busy themselves
with routine or with work. Because there is no preordained design for living, people are faced
with the task of creating their own meaning. At times people who feel trapped by the emptiness
of life withdraw from the struggle of creating a life with purpose. Experiencing meaninglessness
and establishing values that are part of a meaningful life are issues that become the heart of
counseling.
Creating New Meaning Logotherapy is designed to help clients find meaning in life. The
therapist's function is not to tell clients what their particular meaning in life should be but to
point out that they can create meaning even in suffering (Frankl, 1978). This view holds that
human suffering (the tragic and negative aspects of life) can be turned into human achievement
by the stand an individual takes when faced with it. Frankl also contends that people who
confront pain, guilt, despair, and death can effectively deal with their despair and thus triumph.
Yet meaning is not something that we can directly search for and obtain. Paradoxically, the
more rationally we seek it, the more likely we are to miss it. Meaning is created out of an
individual's engagement with what is valued, and this commitment provides the purpose that
makes life worthwhile (Deurzen, 2012). I like the way Vontress (2013) captures the idea that
meaning in life is an ongoing process we struggle with throughout our life: “What provides
meaning one day may not provide meaning the next, and what has been meaningful to a person
throughout life may be meaningless when a person is on his or her deathbed” (p. 147).
Proposition 5: Anxiety as a Condition of Living
Anxiety arises from one's personal strivings to survive and to maintain and assert one's being,
and the feelings anxiety generates are an inevitable aspect of the human condition. Existential
anxiety is the unavoidable result of being confronted with the “givens of existence”—death,
freedom, choice, isolation, and meaninglessness (Vontress, 2013; Yalom, 1980; Yalom &
Josselson, 2014). Existential anxiety arises as we recognize the realities of our mortality, our
confrontation with pain and suffering, our need to struggle for survival, and our basic fallibility.
We experience this anxiety as we become increasingly aware of our freedom and the
consequences of accepting or rejecting that freedom. In fact, when we make a decision that
involves reconstruction of our life, the accompanying anxiety can be a signal that we are ready
for personal change and can be a stimulus for growth. If we learn to listen to the subtle messages
of anxiety, we can dare to take the steps necessary to change the direction of our lives.
Existential therapists differentiate between normal and neurotic anxiety, and they see anxiety
as a potential source of growth. Normal anxiety is an appropriate response to an event being
faced. Accepting freedom and the responsibility for making decisions and life choices, searching
for meaning, and facing mortality can be frightening. This kind of anxiety does not have to be
repressed, and it can be a powerful motivational force toward change and growth (Ruben &
Lichtanski, 2015). From the existential viewpoint, normal anxiety is an invitation to freedom.
“Anxiety is a teacher, not an obstacle or something to be removed or avoided” (Deurzen &
Adams, 2011, p. 24).
Failure to move through anxiety results in neurotic anxiety, which is anxiety about concrete
things that is out of proportion to the situation. Neurotic anxiety is typically out of awareness,
and it tends to immobilize the person. Being psychologically healthy entails living with as little
neurotic anxiety as possible, while accepting and struggling with the unavoidable existential
anxiety that is a part of living.
Many people who seek counseling want solutions that will enable them to eliminate anxiety.
Creating the illusion that there is security in life may help us cope with the unknown, yet we
know on some level that we are deceiving ourselves. Deurzen (2012) believes that existential
anxiety is part of living with awareness and being fully alive. In fact, the courage to live fully
entails accepting the reality of death and the anxiety associated with uncertainty. Facing
existential anxiety involves viewing life as an adventure rather than hiding behind imagined
securities that seem to offer protection. Opening up to new life means opening up to anxiety. We
pay a steep price when we short-circuit anxiety.
The existential therapist can help clients recognize that learning how to tolerate ambiguity and
uncertainty and how to live without props can be a necessary phase in the journey from
dependence to autonomy. The therapist and client can explore the possibility that although
breaking away from crippling patterns and building new ways of living will be fraught with
anxiety for a while, anxiety will diminish as the client experiences more satisfaction with newer
ways of being. When a client becomes more self-confident, the anxiety that results from an
expectation of catastrophe is likely to decrease.
Proposition 6: Awareness of Death and Nonbeing
The existentialist does not view death negatively but holds that awareness of death as a basic
human condition gives significance to living. A distinguishing human characteristic is the ability
to grasp the reality of the future and the inevitability of death. It is necessary to think about death
if we are to think significantly about life. Death should not be considered a threat; death provides
the motivation for us to take advantage of appreciating the present moment. Instead of being
frozen by the fear of death, reflecting on the reality of death can teach us how to live fully.
Deurzen and Adams (2011) write: “Life is a taskmaster, while death is a master teacher” (p.
105). If we defend ourselves against the reality of our eventual death, life becomes insipid and
meaningless. But if we realize that we are mortal, we know that we do not have an eternity to
complete our projects and that the present is crucial. Our awareness of death is the source of zest
for life and creativity. Death and life are interdependent, and though physical death destroys us,
the idea of death saves us (Yalom, 1980, 2003).
Yalom (2008) recommends that therapists talk directly to clients about the reality of death. He
believes the fear of death percolates beneath the surface and haunts us throughout life. Death is a
visitor in the therapeutic process, and Yalom believes that ignoring its presence sends the
message that death is too overwhelming to explore. Confronting this fear can be the factor that
helps us transform an inauthentic mode of living into a more authentic one. Accepting the reality
of our personal death can result in a major shift in the way we live in the world (Yalom &
Josselson, 2014). We can turn our fear of death into a positive force when we accept the reality
of our mortality. In Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death, Yalom (2008) develops
the idea that confronting death enables us to live in a more compassionate way.
One focus in existential therapy is on exploring the degree to which clients are doing the things
they value. Without being morbidly preoccupied by the ever-present threat of nonbeing, clients
can develop a healthy awareness of death as a way to evaluate how well they are living and what
changes they want to make in their lives. Those who fear death also fear life. When we
emotionally accept the reality of our eventual death, we realize more clearly that our actions do
count, that we do have choices, and that we must accept the ultimate responsibility for how well
we are living (Corey & Corey, 2014).
The Therapeutic Process
Therapeutic Goals
LO4
Existential therapy is best considered as an invitation to clients to recognize the ways in which
they are not living fully authentic lives and to make choices that will lead to their becoming what
they are capable of being. An aim of therapy is to assist clients in moving toward authenticity
and learning to recognize when they are deceiving themselves (Deurzen, 2012). The existential
orientation holds that there is no escape from freedom as we will always be held responsible. We
can relinquish our freedom, however, which is the ultimate inauthenticity. Existential therapy
aims at helping clients face anxiety and engage in action that is based on the authentic purpose of
creating a worthy existence. Authenticity involves claiming authorship—taking responsibility for
our actions and the way we are living (Deurzen & Adams, 2011).
May (1981) contends that people come to therapy with the self-serving illusion that they are
inwardly enslaved and that someone else (the therapist) can free them. Existential therapists are
mainly concerned about helping people to reclaim and reown their lives. The task of existential
therapy is to teach clients to listen to what they already know about themselves, even though
they may not be attending to what they know. Schneider and Krug (2010) identify four essential
aims of existential-humanistic therapy: (1) to help clients become more present to both
themselves and others; (2) to assist clients in identifying ways they block themselves from fuller
presence; (3) to challenge clients to assume responsibility for designing their present lives; and
(4) to encourage clients to choose more expanded ways of being in their daily lives.
Increased awareness is the central goal of existential therapy, which allows clients to discover
that alternative possibilities exist where none were recognized before. Clients come to realize
that they are able to make changes in their way of being in the world.
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