Need communications help to check my essay. Correct my Grammar errors and modify my essay.

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Perfprag Fhr

Business Finance

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final pro.docx

Attach my file. Read it carefully. 

Rewrite TWO paragraph of my essay. 

Correct my grammar error and develop the structure of my essay. 

This is my final project, it need to be perfect. I am not American, I want my essay can be write like native students.



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Su Xinyue/ Sue Studying abroad is becoming more and more popular, and the tuition requires a large amount of money for a family. Tien-yow Jeme is the first Chinese railroad engineer in history and be called the father of Chinese railroad. {Put the hyperlink behind his name only.} He was sent to the United States by Qing imperial officials as a part of the Chinese Educational Mission in 1872. After graduating from high school there, he was admitted to Yale University and majored in civil engineering. He got support from the government; thus, he didn’t need to worry about tuition. The number of students studying abroad was few in Leme’s time. But nearly half of the typical extended families have at least one child studying abroad in modern China, according to a survey by National Bureau of Statistics of the People's Republic of China. At the same time, tuition is the biggest problem for the families who support children studying abroad; Thus, financial scholarships have become a target for international students. (This two paragraph need to be change into another example, the example must can fit in my essay!) 􏰀Actually, going abroad is not my purpose,” said Yuqing Zheng, a freshman communication major from Chengdu, China, at Troy University. “I never think about going abroad because I think the tuition is too expensive, and the living fee is also higher a lot than China. “My parents think having an overseas educational background will be more competitive when seeking a job in China after I get back.” Shuming Xiao is Jun Hu ‘s mother. She is living in Shanghai, China. Her son used to study in America. “I’m really proud of my son,” she said. “In his university life, through his own efforts he saved a lot of money for me. Besides the first semester, I only pay half of the tuition because he has a scholarship. At first semester, I have to pay whole tuition. It was a lot of money for our family. I am afraid that I can’t offer him for four years. However, my son is excellent. “At present, he is an executive of a securities company in Shanghai, China. His high income is worth the huge cost in the past, just like investing.” On the other hand, scholarship also proved students’ ability. 􏰀The international students’ scholarships are important, as they support students who come from poor backgrounds to acquire education on reduced or fully sponsored program,” said, the director of international office at Troy University. “The students benefit from the available chances and study abroad. The program motivates the students to get a firm education background and excellent achievements to continue working harder. “It also helps an individual to participate in youth affairs, as some of the organizations offering these scholarships expose their students into constructive agendas even as they continue with their studies. As such, one has a good exposure to real-life situations and links the theoretical knowledge with the practical skills learned in the field. “ Applying for scholarships is not easy. Students must meet the conditions. Silvia Li, the coordinator of special international initiatives at Troy University. “I know the scholarship is very important for you,” Li said. “The application of this scholarship is not an easy thing. Some students are exchange students. Thus, they need to transfer some credit from previous universities to Troy University. However, if they want to apply for scholarships, their GPA must higher than 3.0. It means they need to have a great grade at Troy University and also previous universities. Besides, they have to finish 30 credits at Troy University. “Anyway, having scholarship is not an easy thing. They have to earn it.” Some international students pay more attention to part-time jobs because they think those jobs can give them extra money. “I work at Golden Crane restaurant during Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday,” said Jiangfu Li, a senior accounting major from Nanjiang, China. “My GPA is not high enough to get a scholarship. You can see I spend a lot of time on working. However, I think it is great. I can practice my English when I am working, and I can earn a lot of money. Besides, I hardly go out of town, even to Montgomery, because I don’t have time. Thus, I can save a lot of money. It is a good thing for me. “ On the contrary, there are still some people who don’t favor part-time jobs to earn money. Cheng Li is one of them. Li graduated from Auburn University with a master’s degree last December. At present, he has a part-time job in a restaurant in Houston while delivering his resume and taking interviews everywhere. “I think I was wrong,” Li said, upset. “I almost do part-time jobs for three years. Three years, I never got a scholarship. My GPA is lower than 3.0. I pay more attention on part-time jobs because I think it is a good way to practice my English, and also can earn money. “However, I was wrong. Wages for three years are lower than the scholarship of one semester. Until I graduated, I finally figure out, but it is too late. If I spent more time on studying, I can find a good job easily, but not as a waiter. Scholarship proved my ability.”
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