Peer Review on an essay

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timer Asked: Apr 29th, 2019
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Question Description

-Make comments on it. Mark when something is particularly written well or you don't understand something. You can use the insert comment function on word, or you can simply write your comments in red.

-Once you are done commenting, go onto the next page (add a new page to the writer's essay) and answer the following questions:

  1. Does the author present the issue/argument in his or her introduction? Is the attention grabber/hook effective? Is the background information sufficient? (If the reader had not read the articles or seen the movie.)

2. Is there an summary of Zootopia in the introduction? Does it introduce the source enough for someone who has not watched it?

3. Does the writer introduce the articles’ names, the authors’ names and the main point/argument of the secondary source when they first use the source? (Introduce only the sources you will be using). Is this information sufficient for you to understand the source?

4. Does the thesis focus on an argument based on the movie? Are you clear on his or her position from the start? Can you form an antithesis?

5. Does the writer support each of his or her claims with quotes from the movie and the secondary source? Are the examples vivid and specific rather than general? (The I in PIE format.)

6. Does the writer explain why he or she chose this particular example? Does the explanation connect back to the thesis? Is there an explanation/analysis after each example? (The E in PIE format.)

7. Are all examples from the articles cited properly with in-text citation? Is the paper formatted in MLA style? Is there a works cited page in the end?

8. Is there an counter argument and refutation in the essay? Is it clear or sufficient enough? Does the counterarguement answer one of the points/claims the author makes earlier in their argument?

9. Does the writer have a conclusion that restates the thesis, summarizes their key points and gives a final thought?

10. Mark your favorite line. Why is it your favorite?

11. Do they have a creative title?

Unformatted Attachment Preview

Aso1 Dalya Aso Kelly Allen English 120 April 22, 2019 Zootopia Vs Society “We go to the theater to be entertained, but if what is left after you watch the movie is a sort of eye-opening perspective on some social issues, then it can be a really powerful piece of art” by Jordan Peele. This perfectly describes the nature of Zootopia. There are several messages that are hidden in this film. Zootopia is the name of the city that all animals live together in this Animation film by Disney. In this movie, animals are used to convey real life stories in terms of social issues that we get into every day. These types of movies are great to audience to absorb the issues than other type of filming. The main characters in the movie are a rabbit and a fox, who they are together all the time in the movie; however, this is not the case in our life as we all know the relationship between the rabbit and fox. This world can only exist in Zootopia; it is very entertaining. The movie shows cases of prejudice of racial issue and stereotypes breaded from social issues in real life. In Zootopia, prejudice is a common theme that is portrayed in obvious way. For example, many citizens of Zootopia have a common sense that foxes are simply the worst out of all predators. Judy Hopps, ‘the bunny cop’, was just about to leave to the city of Zootopia when her parents warned, “Judy’s Father: And stay away from foxes; foxes are the worst…Judy’s Mother: yes, it is in their biology” (Zootopia). This proves the prejudice against foxes in their society. This also compares to reality which is that people, like the citizens of Zootopia, believe Aso2 that they should trust DNA and history more than a person and their personality. Sadly, we see this happen daily to people who come from different parts of the world with different backgrounds and cultures. Moreover, Judy has high hopes on becoming a police officer, but her parents and everyone else in the society try to talk her out of it; however, they end up feeling her dreams. “Gideon Gray: what crazy world are you living in to think a bunny could become a cop? … Judy Hopps: he was right about one thing; I don’t know when to quit” (Zootopia). This is one out of the many times in which Judy was told to give up, but she worked harder to prove them wrong. This has been experienced many times, like when Barrack Obama became our first African-American president of the United States. He was not handed that job, he worked hard for, just as Judy Hopps worked hard for her job at the Zootopia Police Department. Beside, one of the other social issues that Zoootpia visits throughout the movie is Stereotypes. One major (and funny) stereotype demonstrated in this movie is the DMV scene. It is obvious that many children and parents were laughing during this scene because of the very slow workers, sloths. Sloths are known to be slow and lazy animals, so when you compare sloths to DMV workers, you get a really big laugh. Judy and Nick were at the DMV for hours (practical, right?) until they finally left,” Judy Hopps: Wait, they’re all… SLOTHS? [The sloths are slowly moving and causing everyone to be angered] Judy Hopps: You said this was gonna be quick!”(Zootopia). This scene was both ironic and stereotypical because sloths working at a DMV would have the audience recognize the slow, dull hours spent waiting in line. Another example of stereotypical moments in Zootopia is when Judy moves into her first apartment in Zootopia. She is greeted by the manager showing her around in her dull apartment and then meets her neighbors,” Manager: And welcome to the grand [indistinct muttering] luxury apartments with germ. Judy Hopps: Oh, hi. I’m your new neighbor. Neighbor 1: Yea, well Aso3 we’re loud. Neighbor 2: Don’t expect us to apologize for it.” (Zootopia). To many people, this is your stereotypical tiny apartment with loud neighbors, which is what makes this scene funny. Many people do not believe that Zootopia is a movie that features categories of racism such as prejudice, and discrimination. Most people argue that Zootopia does not include racial issues because it’s simply just a children’s movie with funny scenes and ironic coincidences. Well, what most people with this mindset don’t consider is that Zootopia is written by adults and not children, so it’s bound to have some adult humor and real life issues sprinkled in with all the childish jokes. Also, Zootopia is not rated G, it is rated PG for thematic elements, rude humor and action. Indeed, Zootopia, in my opinion, has put a great and humorous twist on global issues that secretly informs both children and adults. Thus, I believe that this movie is just great for educational purposes as well, since it is touching very important cases that us as adults and children living in the same land that encounter very similar stories socially and racially. To conclude, Zootopia had addressed very important racial and social, and that is clear in many examples of the movie. For instance, the meeting of the many animals and stating that there is no way of bunny could become a police office. This shows how people in real life think that people are a lot smaller than they are; as a result, they think that they can’t do jobs like a cop in the city. Then, we can see how social problems occurrences are evident in the film of Zootopia. In particular, watching this movie, will get you to understand many facts about our society these days in U.S. ...
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Tutor Answer

LesserGenius
School: University of Virginia

Attached.

Aso1

Dalya Aso
Kelly Allen
English 120
April 22, 2019
Zootopia Vs Society
“We go to the theater to be entertained, but if what is left after you watch the movie is a
sort of eye-opening perspective on some social issues, then it can be a really powerful piece of
art” by Jordan Peele. This perfectly describes the nature of Zootopia. There are several messages
that are hidden in this film. Zootopia is the name of the city that all animals live together in this
Animation film by Disney. In this movie, animals are used to convey real life stories in terms of
social issues that we get into every day. These types of movies are great to audience to absorb
the issues than other type of filming. The main characters in the movie are a rabbit and a fox,
who they are together all the time in the movie; however, this is not the case in our life as we all
know the relationship between the rabbit and fox. This world can only exist in Zootopia; it is
very entertaining. The movie shows cases of prejudice of racial issue and stereotypes breaded
from social issues in real life.
In Zootopia, prejudice is a common theme that is portrayed in obvious way. For
example, many citizens of Zootopia have a common sense that foxes are simply the worst out of
all predators. Judy Hopps, ‘the bunny cop’, was just about to leave to the city of Zootopia when
her parents warned, “Judy’s Father: And stay away from foxes; foxes are the worst…Judy’s
Mother: yes, it is in their biology” (Zootopia). This proves the prejudice against foxes in their
society. This also compares to reality which is that people, like the citizens of Zootopia, believe

Aso2

that they should trust DNA and history more than a person and their personality. Sadly, we see
this happen daily to people who come from different parts of the world with different
backgrounds and cultures. Moreover, Judy has high hopes on becoming a police officer, but her
parents and everyone else in the society try to talk her out of it; however, they end up feeling her
dreams. “Gideon Gray: what crazy world are you living in to think a bunny could become a
cop? … Judy Hopps: he was right about one thing; I don’t k...

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Review

Anonymous
Tutor went the extra mile to help me with this essay. Citations were a bit shaky but I appreciated how well he handled APA styles and how ok he was to change them even though I didnt specify. Got a B+ which is believable and acceptable.

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