RWS 305W—Sherman Workplace Writing Report for Project Four (150 points) Instructions for the Presentations Slide part of the assignment will be posted separately) Deadlines – ➢ Discussion Board: Interview Questions ➢ Discussion Board: Share Presentation Slide-feedback ➢ Interview Notes/Texts for Analysis Due ➢ Presentation Slides ➢ Final Draft Due Report with contact information for interviewee, interview notes and genre texts. Audience: I am your audience. Requirements: Because workplace report formats vary widely, it’s difficult to give a page requirement for this assignment. Although your report will be single-spaced, I would suggest making sure that your workplace report equals a six-eight page, typed, double-spaced paper. (1500-2000 words) What is a Workplace report? Reports in the workplace vary, of course, depending upon the field, purpose, and many other factors. You can use the National Commission on Writing’s report on workplace writing as an example or any other workplace report you may find during your research. Your report should use headings to separate different sections (you can break specific sections down too). Most of your text will be in block paragraphs. You will probably use bullet-points to set off ideas within a section. We will look at some examples in class. Assignment ➢ Interview a person or persons who work in a career area you are interested in. The interview should be synchronous, that is, in real time – ideally a video chat, if not in person. As discussed in the “How to Interview” video, the most successful interviews are like conversations where you are doing most of the listening. Being able to ask questions which help the interviewee expand on their answers is essential. . Find out what kinds of written communication skills you will need, what kinds of writing you will be expected to do, and what formats, genres, and audiences you will need to deal with. ➢ Collect a minimum of two samples of writing from your field. (Your interviewee might be able to provide this—but you shouldn’t count on that.) Then you will analyze this writing in order to determine the qualities and characteristics of writing in your field. This may include (but isn’t limited to) rhetorical profile and consideration of ethos (how is ethos established?). The goals of this analysis are to become more aware of the writing styles and situations in your intended profession, as well as to demonstrate your ability to apply rhetorical analysis to a text. ➢ Write a report describing what you have learned about the kinds of written communication skills you will need in your chosen field. Specific instructions for organization are explained below. Here are some questions to get you thinking. What kinds of writing will you be expected to do? What are the formats, genres, styles and audiences will you be working with? You might also want to consider the extent to which you feel prepared for these tasks, what you will need to learn, etc. You may want to compare your field with what you found out about another field during class sharing (optional). Finally, don’t feel limited by these questions. Feel free to present any interesting information you gained during your interview! Organization Your report should have four major sections. You are welcome to organize within those sections however you choose, ideally using the form appropriate to your field. Whatever form you choose, your report should have different sections with headers and be single spaced.  Part One—background information on the interview and your interviewee. When and where you conducted the interview, how long he/she has held his/her current position. What were the steps leading to this position? (250-300 words)  Part Two—what you have learned about writing in this field or discipline. This should be fully developed and consider all aspects of written communication. (500-750 words.)  Part Three—analysis of the texts you have collected. (500-750 words) See guidelines below. You might choose instead to incorporate information from your analysis into Part Two – either way is fine.  Part Four—Consider your writing future. What, if anything, surprised you about what you have learned? What will you need to learn to be a successful writer? What parts of writing in your future work concern you? What are you looking forward to? (250 words). Text Analysis (Part Three above) Choose two different kinds of documents for this analysis. You can compare/contrast them or write about them separately—whichever seems most logical to you. Needless to say, choosing an email and a standard contract, for instance, wouldn’t give you much to work with. The meatier the document, the easier this assignment will be. Also, don’t be afraid of large documents like reports. You can answer the general questions as easily for longer documents as for short ones. For the textual analysis questions, you can work with specific sections of the document. Be sure to support your analysis with direct citations from the text. You should work to answer most of the following questions (these questions should guide you, but you shouldn’t simply answer them in a list):  What is the document?  Where did it come from and who produced it?  Who is the intended audience (or audiences) for the text?  What is the purpose of the document?  How, if at all, are ethos, pathos and logos apparent in the text? What seem to be the values implied in the text?  What do you notice about the language (of course, the answer to this will help you address the above questions too)? Is there jargon? Euphemistic language and/or buzzwords? What is the tone of the text? Is there a voice—can you here the writer or is it meant to be more neutral?  Bonus: using Winston Weather’s Rhetorical Profile, how would you describe the level and texture of the writing? Be sure to explain your answer. Considering the information above, what observations can you make about these texts overall? In what ways might they be seen to reflect the workplace or field that you are researching? Major Learning Goals for this Assignment  Analyze and Evaluate complex print, digital, and multimodal texts that engage significant academic, professional, or civic issues.  Apply rhetorical principles appropriate to different purposes and goals, within specific disciplinary, professional and civic communities.  Research and contribute to specific areas of inquiry by evaluating, synthesizing, and integrating strategies and sources appropriate to genre.  Compose a variety of texts, working individually and collaboratively, through processes of drafting, critiquing, reflecting, and editing. RWS 305W—Sherman Workplace Writing Report for Project Four (150 points) Instructions for the Presentations Slide part of the assignment will be posted separately) Deadlines – ➢ Discussion Board: Interview Questions ➢ Discussion Board: Share Presentation Slide-feedback ➢ Interview Notes/Texts for Analysis Due ➢ Presentation Slides ➢ Final Draft Due Report with contact information for interviewee, interview notes and genre texts. Audience: I am your audience. Requirements: Because workplace report formats vary widely, it’s difficult to give a page requirement for this assignment. Although your report will be single-spaced, I would suggest making sure that your workplace report equals a six-eight page, typed, double-spaced paper. (1500-2000 words) What is a Workplace report? Reports in the workplace vary, of course, depending upon the field, purpose, and many other factors. You can use the National Commission on Writing’s report on workplace writing as an example or any other workplace report you may find during your research. Your report should use headings to separate different sections (you can break specific sections down too). Most of your text will be in block paragraphs. You will probably use bullet-points to set off ideas within a section. We will look at some examples in class. Assignment ➢ Interview a person or persons who work in a career area you are interested in. The interview should be synchronous, that is, in real time – ideally a video chat, if not in person. As discussed in the “How to Interview” video, the most successful interviews are like conversations where you are doing most of the listening. Being able to ask questions which help the interviewee expand on their answers is essential. . Find out what kinds of written communication skills you will need, what kinds of writing you will be expected to do, and what formats, genres, and audiences you will need to deal with. ➢ Collect a minimum of two samples of writing from your field. (Your interviewee might be able to provide this—but you shouldn’t count on that.) Then you will analyze this writing in order to determine the qualities and characteristics of writing in your field. This may include (but isn’t limited to) rhetorical profile and consideration of ethos (how is ethos established?). The goals of this analysis are to become more aware of the writing styles and situations in your intended profession, as well as to demonstrate your ability to apply rhetorical analysis to a text. ➢ Write a report describing what you have learned about the kinds of written communication skills you will need in your chosen field. Specific instructions for organization are explained below. Here are some questions to get you thinking. What kinds of writing will you be expected to do? What are the formats, genres, styles and audiences will you be working with? You might also want to consider the extent to which you feel prepared for these tasks, what you will need to learn, etc. You may want to compare your field with what you found out about another field during class sharing (optional). Finally, don’t feel limited by these questions. Feel free to present any interesting information you gained during your interview! Organization Your report should have four major sections. You are welcome to organize within those sections however you choose, ideally using the form appropriate to your field. Whatever form you choose, your report should have different sections with headers and be single spaced.  Part One—background information on the interview and your interviewee. When and where you conducted the interview, how long he/she has held his/her current position. What were the steps leading to this position? (250-300 words)  Part Two—what you have learned about writing in this field or discipline. This should be fully developed and consider all aspects of written communication. (500-750 words.)  Part Three—analysis of the texts you have collected. (500-750 words) See guidelines below. You might choose instead to incorporate information from your analysis into Part Two – either way is fine.  Part Four—Consider your writing future. What, if anything, surprised you about what you have learned? What will you need to learn to be a successful writer? What parts of writing in your future work concern you? What are you looking forward to? (250 words). Text Analysis (Part Three above) Choose two different kinds of documents for this analysis. You can compare/contrast them or write about them separately—whichever seems most logical to you. Needless to say, choosing an email and a standard contract, for instance, wouldn’t give you much to work with. The meatier the document, the easier this assignment will be. Also, don’t be afraid of large documents like reports. You can answer the general questions as easily for longer documents as for short ones. For the textual analysis questions, you can work with specific sections of the document. Be sure to support your analysis with direct citations from the text. You should work to answer most of the following questions (these questions should guide you, but you shouldn’t simply answer them in a list):  What is the document?  Where did it come from and who produced it?  Who is the intended audience (or audiences) for the text?  What is the purpose of the document?  How, if at all, are ethos, pathos and logos apparent in the text? What seem to be the values implied in the text?  What do you notice about the language (of course, the answer to this will help you address the above questions too)? Is there jargon? Euphemistic language and/or buzzwords? What is the tone of the text? Is there a voice—can you here the writer or is it meant to be more neutral?  Bonus: using Winston Weather’s Rhetorical Profile, how would you describe the level and texture of the writing? Be sure to explain your answer. Considering the information above, what observations can you make about these texts overall? In what ways might they be seen to reflect the workplace or field that you are researching? Major Learning Goals for this Assignment  Analyze and Evaluate complex print, digital, and multimodal texts that engage significant academic, professional, or civic issues.  Apply rhetorical principles appropriate to different purposes and goals, within specific disciplinary, professional and civic communities.  Research and contribute to specific areas of inquiry by evaluating, synthesizing, and integrating strategies and sources appropriate to genre.  Compose a variety of texts, working individually and collaboratively, through processes of drafting, critiquing, reflecting, and editing. My dream is to have my own dental office and be the boss of myself one day. Since my childhood, I have always dreamt of becoming a famous cosmetic dentist and see the smile of my patients after each visit. Since I am majoring in pre-dental and since my dreams and goals are all related to the dental field, I have decided to interview one of my favorite dentists, Dr. Omar Sabbagh. Dr. Sabbagh has been a dentist in the US since 2001. Before that, he was a dentist in Syria for more than 10 years. He has a great sense of humor and patience with his patients, he tries his best to keep him/her comfortable and satisfied. I have worked with Dr. Sabbagh as a dental assistant for more than three months and he made me love this career everyday more than the day before. I have asked him if it is possible to schedule an interview with him to talk about how writing is important in the life of a dentist and he did not mind at all. I scheduled an interview on Tuesday, April 30th at 9:00 am. RWS 305 – Sherman Workplace Writing Assignment Interviewee: Superior Court Judge William S. Dato Workplace address: Hall of Justice Fourth Floor 330 W. Broadway San Diego, CA 92101 Phone Number: Courtroom Clerk: Lynn Nicolas 619-XXX-XXXX Background Information The Interview For this assignment I interviewed Superior Court Judge William S. Dato because I met him last summer when I went to court with my dad on one of his trials. We were called into his chamber and he was very friendly and he and I talked about my decision to possibly attend law school. And I have recently become fascinated with the idea of becoming a judge so I felt comfortable calling him to talk to about his profession. The interview was conducted at the Hall of Justice, Downtown, Department 67. I met him in the courtroom, where he was finishing up a conference and went through the courtroom to his chambers; which is basically an office consisting of the usual desk, couch and chairs, book cases, a desk for his law clerk and pictures of his family. The Pathway to Becoming a Judge Judge Dato’s interest in law started the way most young people’s do, with a love to argue with other people. So after graduating from San Diego State University he went to UCLA School of Law but he still did not know what area of law he wanted to go into. In his sophomore year of law school he randomly came across an externship, an opportunity for students in which the school pays for them to take a semester off to go somewhere and get hands on experience and receive school credit, to be a clerk at the Supreme Court of California in the offices of Justice Mathew O. Tobriner in San Francisco. He applied and was accepted and this is where he really received his training in proper legal writing. The clerkship had him start off right away writing “memos” to the court, reading 100 page case briefs, summarizing and analyzing them and then writing out a memo to tell the justices whether they should hear the case or not. This taught him how to write short, concise, to the point and how to write tight analyses. After his clerkship he graduated from UCLA and worked as a clerk in many other offices and then went into private practice where he was a practicing lawyer. And in 2003 the Governor of California appointed him to judgeship and he has been a judge in the field of civil law for 8 years. Writing in the Field Judge Dato’s Opinion After talking to him, it is very clear that he thinks very highly of being able to write well and communicate one’s thoughts in any workplace environment. When I asked him about how law school and his different jobs prepared him to write in this field he told me that, “that good writing is good no matter what. There are different nuances but the basics are all the same in all fields of work. And if you can put a sentence together properly and grammatically correct, etc. that conveys your message you will set yourself apart. “ He told me that being a successful writer is a skill that having as a lawyer distinguishes you from the rest of lawyers. That from his experience, lawyers do not usually write very much because they delegate the writing of briefs and legal document to people farther down the corporate hierarchy and therefore lose their ability to write. He thinks this is a terrible waste because, as he says, writing is very important especially in civil law, because written briefs decide a case, not oral argument like criminal law. Therefore you have to be able to write concisely and incorporate facts persuasively to get a judge to see your point of view. He told me that he has taught writing classes for young lawyers and he emphasizes the fact that “no matter what you’re writing, it needs to tell a good story.” He supports this opinion by telling them that facts can be lengthy and complicated and therefore need to be organized and broken up to make the “story” easier to understand for the “reader”; he says that “reading lengthy and complicated facts is like reading a novel without chapters”. The second point that he highly stressed to me was that, although clarity is very important in legal writing, no matter what kind of writing you do, it is also important to keep your “reader” interested. As a judge he reads hundreds of briefs and finds that too many lawyers write very dry, boring briefs because that is what lawyers are “supposed to do”. But the best briefs, he says, are the ones that a written to be interesting and “tell a story”. Daily Writing The main forms of writing Judge Dato produces are legal documents. When I asked him about them specifically he told me the main documents he writes are tentative rulings, which is the proposed ruling of the court before any sort of trial has begun. Parties who disagree may wish to continue with oral argument at the scheduled legal motion time (http://www.sdcourt.ca.gov). These range from ½ page to 10 pages and require a lot of research so he divides these up with his research lawyer so he can devote his time to writing Statements of Decision. These are final decisions that he writes about the outcome of a case after the trial is over. These consist of the facts of the case, the legal precedents and then his conclusion or ruling. These range from about 10-30 pages. They are much more formal writing and done strictly by him because he is the one sitting in the court room hearing the cases. And the last major writing he does are Orders on Procedural Issues which are documents granting or prohibiting parties from bringing in certain documents or using certain evidence. He describes these as quick, everyday, boring writing. Jargon The usage of jargon in legal writing was another topic that he seemed passionate about, however his opinion was not what I expected. He thinks that it is very important to minimize jargon in legal writing, for a couple of reasons. He admits that there are some words that there is no lay word to explain its meaning, for example some Latin words can not be avoided because they have no direct English translation. Yet this jargon should only be used when one needs precision but when there is another way to say it, don’t use it. He justifies his opinion by stating that, as a judge one has to must keep in mind the party he is writing to and minimize jargon and shorthand. He says that judges must remember that they are civil servants and are there to help people, not confuse them or prove their intellectual superiority. He goes on to point out that with the economy the way it is, less and less people are getting lawyers and are representing themselves and these people need to be the main focus to make sure they understand what is going on without a professional having to explain it to them. He also points out that with the usage of legal jargon comes miss interpretation and misunderstanding that can cause courts countless wasted hours and money that could be avoided if the person had understood the other options they had. Text Analysis Final Decision and Judgment This document is a decision or ruling on a court case written by Judge Dato written to the parties involved in the case, the plaintiff and the defendant, and their lawyers. Its purpose is to give the parties in the trial his written decision and, based upon the evidence, how he came to this decision. This document, as one would image from prior knowledge about the law, is based upon logic. He is stating the facts of the situation, other cases that establish support for his decision and then what his decision is. It is a very logical, fact-base argument. He does not have to persuade his audience because he is basically just giving his opinion that must be followed unless a party chooses to appeal it to another judge. He specifically says, “Having considered the pleadings, evidence, and arguments of counsel, the court rules as follows:”. It is straight to the point and tells the audience what they need to know. In the document Judge Dato’s strongest ethos, I feel, is specifically on the last page with his signature and his position as “Judge of the Superior Court”. This official title states that he has the authority to make this decision that will affect both parties and also means that, being a judge and having gone to law school and having been a lawyer for ten years and then appointed by the governor to judgeship, he has a firm understanding of the law and how to interpret it. And as a judge, his word is final; unless it is appealed to another judge. He shows his strong understanding of the law through the document when he cites precedents that other court cases have established and these cases support his decision and give him more credibility. Because of the nature of the document there is no pathos in it. It is an opinion that he has come to strictly on the facts and the laws interpretation of those facts. The language is not complex, it is meant to be understood by the average person and specifically the parties involved in the case. As I mentioned before, in the interview, Judge Dato made it very clear that he does not believe in inundating his audience with heavy jargon and giving them a decision they can only understand with a legal dictionary. And it is very obvious in this piece of writing. Although he does cite specific court cases that a layperson may not be familiar with, he summarizes them and their importance in footnotes so there is no confusion as to why he is mentioning them. There are some instances in which he uses jargon such as “interpleader” or specifically references a direct quotation from a law that may contain legal jargon but these rare instances do not cause the reader to not understand the point he is making. Despite this lack of jargon, though, the document itself is written a very high level. It is obvious that Judge Dato is a very proficient and eloquent writer in the way that he spins the facts of the case into a very interesting story. His tone and voice however, are very neutral; he is not flowery or superfluous in anyway. To me, it felt more like I was reading a newspaper article about this case rather than a legal document which can be dry, boring and unpleasant to read. Tentative Decision This document is a decision that the judge comes to “tentatively” based on the facts and evidence that have been given to him by both parties and if either party disagrees with it they will alert the judge and the trial will proceed; if they both agree the case is over and that decision becomes the final ruling. It was also written by Judge Dato as well as his research lawyer for the parties of the case, this time the petitioner and the respondent, to give them his opinion based on the evidence he was given. A case such as this, about San Diego fireworks, if it goes to trial, may become a “public interest case” and his audience may also be reporters who take what he says and interpret it for the public; which can be a challenge for him to make sure they don’t spin what he says negatively. The rhetorical strategies he employs are much the same as the Final Decision, however the main difference is in the style it is written in. This document is much more about the decisions that had been previously made about the issue and how they affect his decision now. His “Discussion” is the main part of the document, which is his opinion about how the facts were presented, usually how they do not make a strong argument, and the flaws or objections that he has with the arguments. And then, because of these flaws, he decides what the outcome should be. This document, I thought, was more difficult to follow because it was easy to get lost in the decisions made by courts in the past that cause a back-and-forth shift between past and present. There were also a lot of policies mentioned in this case that, if the reader is uninformed about this issue like I am, may cause confusion. However, like I said, the main audience is the parties and the lawyers, who are very informed about this issue so there will not be any confusion. My Writing Future After meeting with Judge Dato, I believe that I would really enjoy that line of work. And after reading the text that he gave me I believe that writing in this field is not above what I am capable of. As he said, being a successful writer requires one to be clear and concise but also tell a story with the facts and present them in a manner that is interesting and understandable for those who read it. To me, I feel like the hardest part of drafting these documents would be from all the research that is required not from the actual writing itself. These documents are written with language that is not highly complex, so they can be understood by the majority of people, and are written in a basic format of facts, evidence and conclusion. Although I was surprised by his opinion about not writing dry legal documents, because these are the only kids of legal documents I have read, I think that I would have no trouble following his advice which will make me a better lawyer and hopefully one day a better judge. He is such a fascinating man who has had so many incredible experiences and I am looking forward to hopefully having some of those experiences myself and helping people the way he does. Technical Writing Interview: Valerie ___ Abstract 1. Introduction 1.1 Interview Procedure ➢ ➢ ➢ Interview was conducted on June 27th, 2013 Interviewee was Valerie XXXX The interview was done in person, at Valerie's place of work: XXXXXXXXXX I ,Gabrielle _______, conducted an interview with Valerie _____ on Wednesday June 27th, 2013. The interview took place in Thousand Oaks, CA where Amgen has one of its campuses and where Valerie holds her office. The focus of the interview was to gain insight on what workplace writing for Valerie consists of and how this knowledge would help me in my future writing for my own career. The interview took approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes to conduct, during which time I asked Valerie a series of questions related to the writing she is required to do for her position. 1.2 Background Information on Interviewee ➢ ➢ ➢ Degree in Biochemistry Associate Scientist Employed with Amgen since 2002 Valerie had worked for a variety of companies in different fields before settling into her current career position. Loan officer, waitress and company owner were two such positions she previously held before deciding to obtain a degree. Valerie graduated from California State University Northridge in 2002 with a Bachelors of Science in Biochemistry. After graduation she was placed in a temporary position at Amgen, after a six month period the position turned into full time employment with the company. Valerie has now been employed with Amgen for the past 9 years, she does not forecast any changes in terms of her employment with Amgen. In December of 2012, she received a promotion to the current position she holds as an Associate Scientist. 2. Results 2.1 Day-to-Day Writing ➢ ➢ ➢ 20 or more e-mails sent daily Internal instant messaging Note taking/ recording of process in lab for study being conducted On a daily basis, Valerie writes throughout the majority of her working hours. Daily writing as an Associate Scientist ranges from casual IM's between coworkers to note taking in the lab to working on assignments that will be published in scientific journals. The bulk of the day-to-day writing Valerie does is not of strict formal nature, the writing is primarily to people who already have background information on the subject matter she is discussing with them and who are connected to the subject in some way. Many of the people in her daily correspondence are fellow group members—small molecule and PKDM (the two groups she is currently apart of)— or those from different sites, or different groups, who are interested in the studies she is currently working on. In our interview, Valerie shared that knowing one's audience, and what their expectations from your writing are, is what she feels is the most valuable tool to have— especially when it comes to day-to-day writing as a scientist. According to Valerie, it is important to know your audience so that you may focus in on what they specifically are asking for or hoping to gain from your writing. As an Associate Scientist, Valerie communicates with a wide variety of people therefore understanding your audience’s position within the company or their overall understanding of the subject matter is vital to effectively communicating on a dayto-day basis. During our interview, Valerie shared with me that the most difficult writing she is faced with are e-mails. According to her, e-mail pose more difficulties than the advanced technical writing she does for publications because it is crucial to convey your message so that it will be interpreted in the tone and context that you intended for your audience. Another factor Valerie stated to be of importance is the wordiness of an e-mail. When sending more that 20 e-mails a day—and also receiving that many as well—it is to everyone's benefit to keep the length of an e-mail to a minimum, including only the information necessary. Conciseness is another skill Valerie believes is crucial to master when working in an environment where the daily primary communication is written. In addition to writing 20 or more e-mails a day, as an Associate Scientist Valerie spends a great deal of time in the laboratory where she is required to take studious notes while conducting any experimental study. The notes taken in the laboratory must be done meticulously. The notes will later be used to build case study reports, which are published documents, therefore each step must be recorded exactly so that the study may be replicated to ensure its results. Notes taken in the laboratory that are not done with extreme detail could potentially lead to a failed study as the process moves from one scientist to the next throughout the study's many phases. 2.2 Published Writing Assignments ➢ ➢ ➢ ➢ Abstracts for posters to be presented at company and industry conferences Scholarly journal articles detailing findings from studies Case study reports Required quarterly; Valerie averages roughly 7 per year Associate Scientists have responsibilities beyond day-to-day writing assignments. At Amgen, in Valerie's position it is a requirement that at least quarterly she be published. Valerie primarily focuses on being published as a co-author on scholarly journal articles that are regarding her recent studies. Another form of publication that is frequent for Valerie are the abstracts presented with posters at conferences. Published writing assignments for Valerie's position are all written formally and in a technical tone. Valerie explained that all scientific writing that she performs is technical; technical work is generally written objectively, in a non-poetic voice, with a ranging levels of sentence structure and with no use of “you.” For Valerie, technical writing is much easier to master than the skills required for her day-to-day writing requirements. She explained in the interview, technical writing for her position follows guidelines and has certain rules making it easier to master. Whereas, her less formal writing must written to cater to her audience and therefore be shaped differently per person. According to Valerie, the easiest writing assignments she has are the abstracts written for conferences. Templates are provided by the conference in advance, therefore Valerie only has to follow the template and provide the information it asks for to complete the assignment. She stated that as a scientist she prefers writing that is structured—as opposed to be given creative freedom—and abstracts have the greatest amount of structure making them the easiest according to Valerie. Case study reports and journal articles are written technically, as well, and since published frequently an important aspect of Valerie's position. The case study reports that Valerie works with are a combination of multiple studies from different scientists all related to one particular subject that detail their findings. The journal articles Valerie takes part in are also composed to convey information found during an experiment, however, they are written for a broader audience than the case study reports. While the case study reports are published documents they are designed to be read from a strictly technical point-of-view, whereas the journals are designed to be read from a slightly less formal standpoint depending on the publication. Valerie stated that attention to detail is important in these documents, and when writing for a journal knowing the audience is essential to crafting an argument that will be effectively conveyed to them based on their knowledge and understanding on the information being presented. 2.3 Additional Writing and Communication ➢ ➢ Powerpoint presentations for training employees and/ or providing information Semi-annually For Valerie's position there are additional communication assignments involved. Due to her knowledge of certain processes used to conduct experiments on the company's mass specs, Valerie travels to train employees at other sites. A major component that accompanies the training seminar Valerie gives are Powerpoint presentations. These presentations follow along with her oral speech, and offer picture examples when the instrument may not be present. Furthermore, the Powerpoints provide a way for Valerie to give a brief summary of the information she is teaching so that it is easier for her employees to follow along. Valerie stated that most crucial skill to master for Powerpoint presentations is conciseness. A slide that is overwhelmed with information will not be as effective as one that is concise and states only a general overview of the information being presented. In addition to constructing Powerpoints for training purposes, Valerie also uses them for providing information to fellow group mates or others affected by her studies. The same skills are necessary for making these Powerpoints, however, instead of being for training they are meant to inform others on Valerie's findings. 2.3 Skills needed for Technical Writing ➢ ➢ ➢ ➢ ➢ Detail oriented Conciseness Keeping audience in mind Maintaining a professional tone Writing objectively Throughout our interview Valerie stressed the importance of certain skills needed to write technically. Those she placed the most emphasis on were keeping the audience in mind when creating an effective argument and being concise. She also stated that writing objectively is crucial to technical writing because when explaining a scientific experiment it is important to be stating the facts of the study and not an opinion on the study. 2. 3.1 Discussion E-mail Analysis ➢ ➢ ➢ Colloquial tone Concise wording To the point The e-mail sample that Valerie provided is one of the generic, standard ones she might send throughout the day. The opening states:“Hi Jeff,” a much less formal tone than if she had not already been working with him. Jeff, a co-worker is the intended audience of the e-mail. The email goes right into discussion of the information requested without any hesitation. This can be seen as second sentence reads: “The study data is in from MPI for TRPM8#2 (4100624) 14-day dog tox study 117869,” Valerie directly answers Jeff's question in a concise manner keeping the e-mail length to an absolute minimum. Although, throughout the short e-mail there is a great deal of jargon and technical terms being used, however, since the audience is aware of the subject matter explanation is not necessary. There is no use of pathos evident in the e-mail, however positive ethos is established. Valerie established positive ethos by having the knowledge of the information Jeff was requesting. 3.1 Journal Analysis ➢ ➢ ➢ Technical terms and jargon Accompanied by graphs, charts and pictures of the data collected Set up in a standard scientific format As previously stated, Valerie discussed in detail during our interview the importance of writing technically for journal publications. The journal article Valerie provided me with was published in The Journal of Pharmaceutical and Biomedical Analysis, therefore the intended audience are those interested in this specific field and also ,importantly, those who are researching studies similar to their own to gain insight. As a result, the article Valerie was a co-author on was meant to inform other scientists of findings from this specific study. The overall information that the article is meant to cover is stated in the title: “Simultaneous determination of a p38 MAP kinase inhibitor and its amide hydrolyzed metabolite in Cynomolgus monkey plasma by LC–MS/MS, and its application to a toxicokinetic study.” From the beginning—with the title—there are already technical terms being presented, a general audience would be unaware of the meaning of these terms therefore the audience is one that is much more narrow. Furthermore, the title states that the article will be in regards to a specific study, the intended audience then would be those who have previous knowledge of the study. The tone of the article formal, and the texture is restrained as with other scientific writings. An example of this can be found in the experimental portion of the article, the first sentence reads: “Compound I, M7, and the deuterated internal standards were synthesized at Amgen (Thousand Oaks, CA). HPLC grade methanol, acetonitrile (ACN) and water were purchased from Burdick and Jackson.” The sentence is written in a passive voice, that is objective. The primary goal of the article is to inform, and not to pass on any opinions of the scientists who conducted the experiment. Consequently, no pathos is evident in the work, however logos and ethos are established. A positive ethos is established as the authors are scientists who performed the study themselves, therefore have first-hand experience with the results. It is further established as the authors withhold their opinions, and speak objectively, as this is what the audience is expecting. Had the author's inserted their opinions the audience may have not viewed the article with as much credibility because the intention is to inform and not to persuade. Logos is established by the authors through their use of credible outside sources. There were thirteen references made, as included at the end of the article. The sources were not directly cited in the text, however the audience's knowledge of the outside sources builds credibility by showing the information provided is supported by individuals or groups other than the authors of the text. 2. Conclusion 4.1 Success in Future Writing ➢ ➢ ➢ Continued practice, write frequently Understand who you are writing to Know what is expected of your writing After my interview with Valerie there were many aspects of workplace writing that I felt she had helped me understand. As I move forward in my education and later into my career, Valerie continuously stated that writing frequently and always practicing will be helpful in the long t erm. Allowing others to review your work, and also reviewing others is one way that Valerie believes a person can stay sharp in terms of their writing. (This is done at Amgen, before any document is released for publication it must be sent out to the group it came from and also to the lawyers; this process ensures it has been reviewed many times, and because it may be cited in another study later on, that all legal aspects are covered.) Additionally, having a firm grasp of who your intended audience is and what they are expecting from your written communication are important to a successful writing career. In my future of writing, I am confident that understanding my audience will be a strong suit of mine. Furthermore, after gaining many useful tips from Valerie during our interview I believe I will be able to continue to improve my writing skills throughout my career. The continuous Improvement is essential, as many organizations—including Amgen—hire and promote with a heavy emphasis on writing skills. While technical writing may not be the majority of the writing I will be doing as a marketing major, I was able to take away from the interview the importance of technical writing—especially the objectivity of and the conciseness. For success in my future writing, I plan to continue writing frequently and participating in peer reviews as this according to Valerie is one important key to success with writing in the workplace. 4.2 Concerns for Future Writing ➢ ➢ Writing concisely Effectively conveying tone and message As I move into my future workplace writing endeavors I am, for the most part, confident; however, after my interview with Valerie I located areas of concern. The two main areas for workplace writing, and while still obtaining my education as well, that need improvement are: writing concisely and effectively conveying tone. Going forward from my interview, I plan to make a conscious effort to cut back on the wordiness of my messages. This applies for e-mails, to articles, to research documents. Valerie stated that a concise message can often times be more effective than a wordier one, and therefore I understand the importance and plan to work on this in my future writing. The other concern I have for my future workplace writing is effectively conveying my tone and message to my audience so that they interpret it as I intended. Valerie had said that writing e-mails is her most challenging writing task for this reason, and I agree. Attempting to use the written language to send a certain tone is a task that I have always struggled with, yet will continue to work on. After my interview this was made very clear by Valerie, as she reminded that primary communication with colleagues and supervisors is written. As I move into my own career and begin my workplace writing, I plan to keep the tips Valerie kept with me as I continue to strive to constantly be a better writer in the workplace and in general. RWS 305 Sherman 3 July. 2013 Interviewed: Janet _____, Pest Detection Program Coordinator Dept. of Agriculture, Weights and Measures Interview on 30 June. 2013. Interviewee Background Information I interviewed Mrs. Janet _____ the Pest Detection Program Coordinator at San Diego County’s Department of Agriculture, Weights, and Measures (AWM). Janet is one of the newest supervisors at AWM and was employed only two months ago; she previously worked at the California Department of Food and Agriculture (CDFA) as a supervisor for invasive insect determinations and quarantine establishments. Before working for CDFA, Janet was an animal keeper at San Diego Zoo, and manager of the Aviaries. Janet is my supervisor at AWM, so I felt comfortable asking her for an interview. The interview was conducted over the phone on Sunday evening, June 30, 2013. She is currently busy with end-of-fiscal year reports and meetings, and unfortunately we could not find a time for us to meet in person for an interview. While I am not particularly drawn to the office work in Janet’s position, working at AWM is a valuable experience and offers an employee several opportunities for crossover training in Entomology or Administration, and to improve workplace writing and presentation skills. Writing Tasks of the Pest Detection Program Coordinator “My job consists of three things: emails, meetings, and writing reports about both,” said Janet ______ during a phone interview on June 30, 2013. Her main writing tasks involve editing and writing reports for Pest Detection, and assisting with the reports written by her supervisors. On a day to day basis, Janet writes only one to two hours and this usually consists of writing emails. However, she writes several different weekly, monthly, and annual reports. As a new county employee, she is still unfamiliar with some of the reports and is unsure how much her writing will change after the end of the fiscal year in July. She is currently writing several reports to various organizations, like the CDFA and the Unites States Department of Agriculture (USDA), that fund the Pest Detection Program. These reports include summaries of the program’s trapping activity over the course of the year, and excel spreadsheets that detail how much money and time employees in Pest Detection spent on trapping activities. This is These annual reports rely heavily on accurate information from monthly reports; the monthly reports are written by the supervisors under Janet and are brief paragraphs stating what happened of importance during the month. She then edits the monthly summaries and combines it with her own monthly summary before sending it to her supervisor. Not all reports are written on a fixed schedule; some, like the Employee Performance Review, are written only when there is a specific need for it. However, Janet states these reports are different from other reports because these “must be submitted the day of the incident.” She finds this writing to be the most challenging because unlike annual or monthly reports, she doesn’t have as much time to think about constructing an appropriate, well written response. She also completes research reports occasionally; she undertakes these reports to stay current with invasive insect activity in other states and to discover other ways to “ensure employee safety while on the job.” Once her research is complete, she must write a summary explaining the benefits of changing the current policies, using her research to support her argument. These reports are also submitted to her supervisors for editing and approval, before submission to the Head Commissioner of AWM. A majority of Janet’s reports are submitted to her supervisors and read by the County’s Board of Supervisors; therefore she writes almost exclusively in a formal and neutral voice. Janet highly recommends that everything, including emails, be written formally or semi-formally “to avoid misinterpretation” which could ruin an employee’s credibility. Textual Analysis Fiscal Year 12/13 All Goals List for Pest Detection The first text I analyzed was an annual report, the “All Goals List”; this document outlines the goals the Pest Detection Program wants to achieve over the course of the year. It includes such things as: • • • • Changes to the required training for employees and supervisors Reducing paper waste and increasing data retrieval efficiency by “electronically digitizing” all program data Improving customer service and communication with the public by updating the county’s website and participating in “outreach events” Completion of a trapping grid conversion from the old map system to a new CDFA generated mapping system. This report is written collaboratively between Janet and the regional supervisors she oversees. This goals list is written weeks bore the end of the fiscal year and is revised several times before being approved by Janet’s immediate supervisor. Once it is approved, the list is submitted to the AWM Head Commissioner where all program goals will be collated and approved. Because this report is submitted to higher level superiors, the language used is very formal and neutral. However, there is very little use of elevated language or excessive diction. For example, one of the goals listed was “Improve communication of information to customers and the public by updating 50% of Pest Detection web pages.” This statement does not use any descriptive adjectives or unnecessary words; it tells the reader very clearly and concisely what the exact goal is. Another example of the clear, direct language used is the last goal listed for Pest Detection, stating, “Complete electronic entries of all host data (100%) into Accela to promote timely detection of invasive pests.” Notice again the use of strong action verbs directing the audience to the exact goal being stated. There was also some jargon used throughout the article; for example, “BCMS Accela” is an internet database that is used by all County employees to track time accounting, determine budgets, and input all activity data from the various county departments. Also, the reference to “trapping grids” and “map systems” may be confusing to some readers who are not familiar with the Pest Detection Program; however, this is not an example of doublespeak because employees of AWM are familiar with many of these terms and they are the intended audience of this document. Insect Trapping Guide: Japanese Beetle Trapping Japanese Beetle Trapping is a small section from the much larger Pest Detection trapping manual written by the CDFA. The Japanese beetle is one of only seven invasive insects Pest Detection currently traps and this excerpt provides detailed information about the specific trap used and its placement, and how to collect and submit a captured specimen. This manual is a required read for Insect Trappers and Pest Detection supervisors, and Pest Detection employees are regularly tested on this knowledge. The language used in this text was very simple and clear, ensuring all readers will easily comprehend the material. An example is how the excerpt explains the function of the trap: “Beetles respond to the attractants, fly into the fins, and fall down the funnel into the beetle can.” It explains the specific function and design of the trap without using excessive or difficult words that could potentially confuse the readers. This manual also uses many pictures, lists, and tables to help audiences visualize the information written in the paragraphs. For example, there are pictures of correct and incorrect trap placement locations, a labeled picture of the Japanese beetle trap, and a list of favorable Japanese beetle trap hosts. This excerpt does not contain ethos or pathos; however, as an educational text, it contains examples of logos: “Beetles have hitchhiked aboard planes originating in the eastern United States. Therefore, airports having a large volume of flights arriving from the east coast are considered to be a high risk for Japanese beetle introduction.” It explains fully the reasoning and importance of trap placement around airports which is discussed in the next paragraph. Another example of logos appears in the next section; here, the manual explains that the ideal place to hang a trap in a yard is “out in the open, avoiding obstacles.” The text then supports this argument with the reasoning that placing a trap too close to obstacles or host plants could “interfere with lure dispersal” or “result in beetles landing on the host plant rather than falling down into the beetle can.” Writing in the Future After speaking with Janet and reading some the reports she completes, I feel confident that I have the writing skills required to be a supervisor at AWM. There is some elevated diction used in the more formal reports, but most use simple and straight-forward language. One thing that surprised me about Janet’s work is the amount of time she helps others (more specifically her own supervisors) with editing, report writing, and constructing spreadsheets. On the other hand, some reports require concise summaries to be written in a short time, and this is a skill I have struggled with throughout college. In order to succeed in Pest Detection or in any Supervisory position, I need to improve my ability to write a well developed response in a more limited time frame.
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