Your first paragraph here is history and I don't see a thesis. The first paragraph needs to inform your reader what your paper is going to be about.
Your second paragraph mentions 'he'...who is 'he'?
You have a lot of info from the novel, but remember, you need to look at what was happening during the time Orwell was writing the novels and juxtapose that with his novels. So, if he portrayed the colonialists one way, did he portray them that way in the novel? Where is the proof? It needs to go back and forth.
Also, I don't see any sources cited here. If you did research and used somebody else's ideas, even if they are paraphrased, they need to be cited within the text where you used them.
I am also seeing quite a few grammar mistakes.
Here is an example: The British executioners including the narrator who does take a seen role are on business as usual ...
Make sure you read through all of this really carefully for grammatical mistakes.
You have used a lot of really great examples from the writing and found out some super information - now you need to look at how it related to real life at the time and make sure all the sources you cited at the end of the paper are cited within the text as well.
my teachers comments, please fix them