Helping me to correct the grammar

Anonymous
timer Asked: Jun 13th, 2019
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Question Description

PLZ help me to correct the grammar. I wrote a 1800 words self assessment for my final project. Since my grammar is very very bad, plz correct all the grammar mistake, and also use better words if possible. You can add more words to specific my writing, and make my writing fancier!!!! MAYBE ADD 300 more words



following is my writing:

Welcome to Ting’s Writing 39C ePortfolio!

In this course we assigned to write a research paper about a social issue of animals (HCP project). I chose Animal Testing as my topic, and I really enjoyed the process of finding resources and use them into my research paper. After that, we wrote another research paper about solutions to fix the problem, and I wrote alternatives testing method to replace animal testing (AP project). Also, we had responding homework which is about our weekly reading assignment. The responding assignment really helped me to find out human being’s problems to treat animals unfairly, and also l learned how to use sources correctly from those readings.

I struggled, improved and felt touched during this quarter in 39C. I struggled at first because I was very confused about how to write a research paper which is very different than 5-paragraph essay. I improved to become a better writer after I understand the use of sources and also how to make audiences trust my writing as a writer. I felt touched, during I the process of reading outside sources about animal testing, and I could feel the pain which happened to those poor-helpless-innacent animals. And now, I am glad to make through the course, and writing my ePortfolio which is about the progress I have made during this course. I felt my writing skills have improved during the composing and revising process. I am looking forward and ready to take the next high level writing course next quarter.







Through wiring 39A and 39B, I learned how to find the correct audience and properly expressing my own voice, and this makes me feel very confident to take writing 39C this quarter. However, that is not the truth, I was very struggled in first few weeks about my topic- Animal Testing which seems very new to me because I have never done any researches in this field before. Also, writing a paper besides five-paragraph essay was a big challenge to me. All my previous writing skills seems useless, writing a research paper is not only expressing my own thoughts but also using correct sources can give writier a lot of credibility. During the process of writing different version of HCP and AP project, I begin to feel more and more comfortable on writing a formal research paper. Also, during the process of finding sources, I read a lot of articles online and in newspaper about animal testing, I felt touched to those little helpless creatures and felt angry about what human being have done to phsically and mentally damage these poor animals, and I realized the true meaning behind this project is to helping helpless animals and trying to make their life with less pains. Before, I can not tell how and why human beings have treated animal like a property, but now I understand it is totally not fair to treat animals like a good since we all share this planet as a big family. Animal feels sad when you separate him away from his mother since a young age, animal needs their mother even we provide him 24 hours food, animal feels painful when you tell him your mother is made from wire. (Harlow’s Monkey Test)

However, I enjoyed the process of finding sources online and take down important evidence into my notebook, the process of discussing my paper with peers and professor, and even the process of being a vegetarian every Thursday since the conversation with my professor about why should we eat meat.To be honest, I have a busy schedule this quarter and also I have intern work with my father’s television program, so I missed a lot of reading assignments and responding assignment, and I just made them up these few days. I found these works are very helpful to our research paper, those reading articles are the perfect example of a great research paper. And I regret did not finish them on time. During the “Reading” and “respond” assignment, I learned how to formally use and cite a quote, and I got the idea of different writer’s point of view on the same perspective topic-animal. I am very happy that I learned many new writing techniques from this course, and I can not wait to take the next higher level writing class next quarter.

Composing Process

-Deciding the right topic

I had a really hard time to compose my paper at the beginning of HCP project. I struggled with deciding the topic between Animal Testing and Zoo. They are both very unfamiliar to me but I thought Zoo is an easier topic that I can find a lot of online sources easily on it. Therefore, in my HCP writing prospectus, I wrote about the necessity of Zoo’s existing and the rightness of controlling wild animal’s nature. I did not make a lot of research on it at the beginning. However, during the process of writing my working draft was messy because I realized the topic is too broad and the issue of Zoo animal can not be fixed recently. I quickly made some research on Animal Testing and changed the topic to Animal Testing which I think is possible for us to solve it in our near future. After I decided on the right topic, everything begins to be more efficient. Since I suddently got attracted by the topic of animal testing, spending times on finding online sources became fun and enhoyful for me. In my future writing career, making the right choice about the topic is very important. I need to think clearly about the prompt and make some researches on different topics, then decide which one I should write about. I will be a waste of time wasting to just start writing blindly.

放图证明

-Finding useful online sources

I have never done a formal research paper before this class, and I did not understand the importance of finding the right-useful sources in order to support my own statement. In both of my HCP and AP projects’ working drafts, I can barely find sources to support my idea. I was very confused and frustrated deciding which sources will fit into my paper better. During the process of reading the articles which professor assigned for us every week, I found all the authors have many different- interesting sources that actually are helping the author to make his/her essay more credible and reader can more easily understand the idea. Before, I thought I can only find sources online, but actually I can find source in our reading, newspaper and even using a famous quote can help my paper to become more credible. Therefore, in both of my HCP and AP projects’ final drafts, I used many sources that can perfectly fit into my writing, and I realized the importance of finding useful sources in our research paper.

As you can see in my HCP project:

放图证明

5->15 sources

AP:

5->10 sources.



放图证明

Rhetoric, Argumentation, & Multi-modal Communication

-Rhetoric

Rhetoric is something that we can use in our paper to make sentences look more meaningful and more attractive as audiences read it. We did not learn a lot about rhetoric skills during 39C but I have learned it in my high school class and also 20A,B,C series. Rhetoric helps writer to persuade, inform and motivate audience to trust my own writing.

举个例子

-Argumentation

Argumentation is something that I composed an argument and use examples and sources to prove it is right. I think during this course I learned a lot of this skill, specifically using sources to prove my claim is right because there are more writer supporting it. Argumentation can include both opposing site and agreeing site of view. Professor Hill mentioned this in my AP project’s working draft(举例子一下). “ I also want to get a sense of who supports and who opposes these testing practices and why. There are people supporting solutions and opposing my alternative, and I need to explain why. This could be a chance for me to approve, I understand there are people opposing to my alternative solution but I can solve their concerns. I understood Argumentation will be a strong tool if I use it correctly.

-multi-modal Communication

I have never heard of the word “Muti-modal communication” before I took writing 39C, and through the “reading” and “responding” assignment I had a good idea what it is and how to use it and how effective it is. Muti-modal communication is something that take advantages from pictures to support your argument with visual impact. I used this in my HCP final draft, I put some pictures of animals which had been damaged during testing process. I think this will touch the audience, and let the reader feel sympathy for those animals. (举例子)




Revision:

Since I have been taking writing course in university, I understood revising paper is one of the most important processes to write a high quality paper. In this writing course, each of us have two major assignments, HCP and AP project, and each of the assignments we have three chances to make a revision. For me, talking with Professor Hill in conferences hour is one of the most important parts that make me find the right writing direction. Since my topic is animal testing, I felt there are many alternative solutions that I could write in my AP project. However, Professor Hill told me too many solutions is not good, the audience will not be convinced if you just briefly introduced a solution, instead you need to focus on a few solutions that make the most sense to you. That was the changing point which shows me the right direction of AP project.

-Instead of writing out several alternative solutions, just focus on one to two solutions and describe them in detail.Why they are better than others and who will oppose or agree to them.

In my first writing draft of my AP project, I wrote about nine alternative solutions to replace animal testing. Before having conference hour with Professor Hill, I thought if I write more solutions then the audiences will have a better idea that there are many choice beside animal testing in medicine. However, Professor Hill told me, that is too many solution which will let the reader feel lost and confused. Instead of writing a whole bunch of solutions, just focus on a few solutions and write them in very detail, and discuss why these methods are beyond the other ones and who will agree or disagree with your opinion. I think that is great because briefly writing many solutions and do not explain them specifically will cause my writing not credible, and will confuse the reader. If I write only one or two in details and composing why they are better, then the audience will have the trust in me. They will think my solutions are credible and are better than others, and these solutions can actually help us to solve the animal testing problem.

-By listing sources, the audience will get an idea that you have done proper research before writing done anything, and you will be more credible than just expressing your own ideas.

The Peer review was another time that I made changes in my writing draft of HCP and AP projects. I worked with Yuqing Ma for both of my peer reviews, and she told me my point of view is on the right track but I need to list more credible sources to support my writing. Since I just wrote four sources in my working draft of HCP project, and five sources in my AP project. After that I added more sources toward both of my final drafts, at that point I realized I am writing a formal research paper that is totally different than a personal essay. Also, finding sources and analysing sources are two major steps of writing a research paper.

Transfer

Now I am at the end of the quarter and writing the ePortfolio. Looking back to my first assignment-Self-assessment which we did in the first week.

Before taking writing 39C, I was very confident on my writing skills. Now, I realize there are many different types of writing, I still have a long way to go in my future writing career.

Tutor Answer

Proff_White
School: Cornell University

Attached.

Running head: SOCIAL ISSUES IN ANIMAL TESTING

Social issues in Animal Testing

Student’s name:
Institutional affiliation:

1

SOCIAL ISSUES IN ANIMAL TESTING

2

Social issues in Animal Testing
Welcome to Ting’s Writing 39C ePortfolio! I must admit that the Writing 39C course has
helped me to advance my writing skills and experience, helping me to explore new topics and
master the skill of research and writing. I have been able to enhance my critical thinking skills,
my researching skills, and the art of writing, which is I have harnessed through the many
practices this course has helped me tackle. As part of the continuous assessment of my research
skills, I was assigned to write a research paper about a social issue regarding animals (HCP
project). I chose Animal Testing as my topic. I chose this topic because I have passion in
learning more about animal testing and all that is entailed in the veterinary services to animals. I
am a great fan of the National Geographic television channel and I must disclose that I have been
moved by Dr. Pol’s program regarding animal testing and general veterinary services. As such,
venturing into this topic has helped me learn more about animal testing, my favorite topic. I
really enjoyed the process of finding resources and using them for my research paper. After
identification of the core issue - animal testing, we wrote another research paper about the
recommended solutions to fix the problem.in this particular paper, I argued for alternative testing
methods to replace animal testing (AP project). This paper also helped me identify ways through
which we could nurture and be compassionate enough to animals to boost the state of nature.
Apart from these assignments, we also had responding homework about our weekly reading
assignment. The responding assignment really helped me to find out human being’s problems
with animals, especially treating animals unfairly. The whole process helped me learn how to use
sources correctly and cite them accordingly.
I struggled, improved and felt touched during this quarter in 39C. I struggled at first
because I was very confused about how to write a research paper, which is very different than a

SOCIAL ISSUES IN ANIMAL TESTING

3

5-paragraph essay. I improved through the assignments and have become a better writer. I now
understand how to use sources appropriately as well as how to make audiences trust my writing
as a writer. I felt touched during this process of reading outside sources about animal testing and
I could feel the pain which happened to those poor, helpless, and innocent animals. At this point,
I am very confident with my writing and now ready to make through the course. This ePortfolio
has also helped me advance my recall which has mainly been utilized during this assignment on
evaluating my writing progress. I strongly feel that my writing skills have improved during the
composing and revising process. I am looking forward and ready to take on the next high level
writing course next quarter.
Through wiring 39A and 39B, I learned how to find the correct audience and properly
express my own voice. This has helped me to be more confident to take writing 39C this quarter.
However, it is noteworthy that I had some struggles during the first few weeks of my research on
the topic - Animal Testing. This is because I had never engaged in extensive research on this
topic before. In addition, writing a paper besides five-paragraph essay was a big challenge to me.
All my previous writing skills seemed very limited and I lacked a lot of insight on how to tackle
the research appropriately. This was mainly because the writing process entailed expressing my
own thoughts but also using correct sources to offer insight and ensure there is credibility of the
writer. During the process of writing different version of HCP and AP projects, I begun to feel
more and more comfortable on writing a formal research paper. Also, during the process of
finding sources, I read a lot of articles online and in newspapers about animal testing. I felt
touched by the pain and suffering that those little helpless creatures undergo and felt angry about
the nature and activities of humans. Human beings have been the core predator to animals,
inflicting on the poor animals physical and mental damage. This helped me realize the true

SOCIAL ISSUES IN ANIMAL TESTING

4

meaning behind this project, helping helpless animals and trying to make their life more
enjoyable, without pain. Before this research, I did not know how and why human beings treat
animal like a property, but now I understand it is totally not fair to treat animals like a property
that lacks rights since we all share this planet as a big family. For instance, animals feel sad when
you separate him from the mother, since at a young age, the animal needs their mother by their
side. Even if we provide him with 24 hours food, the animal feels painful when he realizes that
his mother is killed, taken away, or made from wire (Harlow’s Monkey Test).
However, I enjoyed the process of finding sources online and noting down important
evidence into my notebook. The process of discussing my paper with peers and professor, as
well as the process of being a vegetarian every Thursday has helped me to be a transformed
person. I changed since my professor talked to us on length about why we should not eat meat.
To be honest, I have a busy schedule this quarter and also have intern work with my father’s
television program. This actually led to me missing a lot of reading assignments and responding
assignments, and I just made them up these few days. I found these works very helpful to our
research paper, those reading articles are the perfect example of a great research paper. And I
regret that I did not finish them on time. During the “reading” and “responding” assignments, I
learned how to formally use and cite a qu...

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Anonymous
awesome work thanks

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