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Instructions: Write “reviewed by” and your name at the top of the draft you will review. Read the complete draft through once and underline places where you feel a word has been used inappropriately, or where you find an awkward sentence or phrase. Make any other marginal comments you think will be helpful.

Below I’ve provided a list of questions based on the elements required for a successful final draft. After reading the draft through once, write out answers to these questions. Do not answer with "yes" or "no": provide substantive feedback and examples for each one. If you have a critique or a suggestion, be sure to provide a specific example of what you mean.

  • Does the introduction succeed at getting your attention? How might the writer better use ethos, logos, and/or pathos to immediately begin making a case for why this is an important problem that deserves our attention?
  • Is there a thesis statement somewhere in the introduction that clearly lays out a brief summary of what the problem is and why we should care about it? How could the thesis be made more specific?
  • Does the paper spend a significant amount of time (at least a paragraph or two) discussing the problem’s history? And in that discussion, is the history framed so that it helps the reader understand why this problem is so urgent today? If not, do you have any suggestions for making the history feel more relevant to the present state of the problem?
  • Does the paper provide current examples or incidents that show how the problem is still alive and relevant today? If so, how effective are these examples? Is there anything that could be added or expanded on?
  • Does the paper summarize the various debates, perspectives, and arguments made by credible people and organizations about the problem? The paper should not just summarize them, but also critically evaluate them—the writer should offer (informed) opinions on which views seem the most credible and likely to be helpful. Do you have any suggestions about how the writer can improve in this area?
  • Evaluate the writer’s use of multi-modal argumentation:
    1. Are there a variety of different kinds of multi-modal elements? (They can all be images, but you should have more than one and several different types: graphs, illustrations, photographs, etc. Other kinds of multi-modality such as youtube links would also be great.)
    2. All multi-modal elements should add something substantial to the argument, even if it’s just pathos. Are there any that don’t seem to be doing much work for the argument? Should they be deleted/replaced, or could the writer fix the problem by talking about the image more directly in the text?
    3. What is the most rhetorically effective multi-modal element that the writer uses, and why do you say so?
  • Evaluate the writer’s integration of information from research sources:
    1. Is the writer generally making good choices about when to quote and when to paraphrase or summarize information from his/her sources? Remember that you should quote only when the exact wording is actually essential to your argument!
    2. Is all information from sources—including paraphrases, summaries, and images—properly cited in MLA format?
    3. How well is the writer integrating information from his/her sources? Is the information from sources being clearly introduced, and followed up with commentary making sure the reader understands how this information is relevant to the overall argument? What could be improved?
  • How would you describe the writer’s overall tone? Is it a good fit for the subject?
  • Even if the writer adopts a somewhat casual tone, his/her writing should still be grammatically correct. Do you notice any patterns of error (frequent misused commas, semicolons, etc)?

What is the paper’s single greatest strength? Be sure to upload your response here for credit when you're finished, as well as to your assigned peer review partner's draft so they can view your comments.

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Orozco 1 Jennifer Orozco Professor Dr. Hannah Dow Writing 39C 15 July 2019 Poverty Exposure to Immigrant Children in the United States: Economy in Disaster, Failure of Government to Keep Housing Prices Affordable. Prospectus: Affordable housing in America is a serious issues that continues to get worse throughout the years. Due to this crisis, many found themselves apart of the sharpest economic decline America has seen. America suffered from an economic depression from the late 2000s early 2010s which resulted in 8.7 million jobs and four millions homes being lost, while the lives of adult immigrants were effected during this time, people fail to acknowledge the lives of US children and how they might have been exposed to poverty. This brings up to question about the concerns one may have on the children of immigrant’s vulnerability during these periods of crisis. The nation fails to protect the well-being of these children and just did what was best to restore their economic downfall with government spending and tax cuts. While there are countless number of events that have resulted in the decrease of the economies stability, the event I will be focusing on is the Great Recession of 2007 and how it affected the lives of immigrants and more specifically immigrant children. This event resulted in the loss of jobs, businesses, and homes, these loses can have a huge social, economic, and cultural effect on the lives of the children. Emotionally, studies have shown that children dealing with poverty experience more behavioral issues and problems that go unacknowledged due to the parents own problems they are experiencing. Economically, children face struggles with dealing Orozco 2 with poverty and a new sudden alter in the lifestyle they had been normally accustomed to. Culturally, non-immigrant children experienced different effects during the great recession as opposed to immigrant children. The problem of immigrant children being exposed to poverty due to non-affordable housing in America is caused by the failure of the legislative branch not creating proper laws which has resulted in many immigrant children dealing with homelessness. Politically our legislative branch has failed in making proper laws that can protect immigrants and their children. While there have been acts brought on to help this problem, such as the Housing Act of 1949, it did not do justice to all the children who continue to be exposed to poverty. There are government solutions, such as sending social workers, but to immigrant children this is their biggest fear. Immigrant children move to America, a foreign country to them, with their family in the hopes of achieving the American dream. Due to the economic crisis America has with affordable housing, this dream may not be achieved, and a social worker may vote to remove the child from the situation and tear them away from their family. The legislative branch fails in attempts to restoring better laws to protect these children and prevent further children to be put in the same situation. Socially, before any higher authority intervenes, in the scenario where an immigrant family is evicted from their home, children witness the hardships their parents grow through. This creates many setbacks to their mental well-being. At a vulnerable state, they are prone to face many challenges in their journey to adulthood. Culturally, having moved from a different country they have to face more hardships such as discrimination. Many landlords strictly rent to tenants of their desired race. All these problems contribute to the set backs immigrant children are exposed. The Great Recession is very current to the economic stability of America. Several recent articles published in 2019 all revolve around the same topic that Americas housing crisis is only Orozco 3 going to get worse if change isn’t made. Given that the Great Recession occurred in 2007, after twelve years only progress has been made when looking at it from the point of view of the government. By increasing the mortgage prices, only people who are financially stable buy or rent property and they are not at risk of being evicted. In connection to our class book, Evicted, many characters in the novel only depended on strictly on checks sent from the government to provide for their children and barely make by. The Great Recession has not been the only economic struggle that America has faced. For instance, The Great Depression 1929-1941, The Banking Crisis 1929-1933, and the Stock Market Crash of 1929. Orozco 4 Work Cited Richwine, Jason. “How Immigration Affects Child Poverty Rates.” CIS.org, Center for Immigration Studies, 6 Dec. 2017, https://cis.org/Richwine/How-Immigration-AffectsChild-Poverty-Rates. Ducharme, Jamie. “Detaining Families May Also Cause Mental Health Issues.” Time, Time, 21 June 2018, https://time.com/5317762/psychological-effects-detaining-immigrantfamilies/. ...
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Orozco 1

Jennifer Orozco
Professor Dr. Hannah Dow
Writing 39C
15 July 2019
Poverty Exposure to Immigrant Children in the United States: Economy in Disaster, Failure of
Government to Keep Housing Prices Affordable.
Prospectus: Affordable housing in America is a serious issues that continues to get worse
throughout the years. Due to this crisis, many found themselves apart of the sharpest economic
decline America has seen. America suffered from an economic depression from the late 2000s
early 2010s which resulted in 8.7 million jobs and four millions homes being lost, while the lives
of adult immigrants were effected during this time, people fail to acknowledge the lives of US
children and how they might have been exposed to poverty. This brings up to question about the
concerns one may have on the children of immigrant’s vulnerability during these periods of
crisis. The nation fails to protect the well-being of these children and just did what was best to
restore their economic downfall with government spending and tax cuts.
While there are countless number of events that have resulted in the decrease of the
economies stability, the event I will be focusing on is the Great Recession of 2007 and how it
affected the lives of immigrants and more specifically immigrant children. This event resulted in
the loss of jobs, businesses, and homes, these loses can have a huge social, economic, and
cultural effect on the lives of the children. Emotionally, studies have shown that children dealing
with poverty experience more behavioral issues and problems that go unacknowledged due to the
parents own problems they are experiencing. Economically, children face struggles with dealing

Orozco 2

with poverty and a new sudden alter in the lifestyle they had been normally accustomed to.
Culturally, non-immigrant children experienced different effects during the great recession as
opposed to immigrant children. The problem of immigrant children being exposed to poverty due
to non-affordable housing in America is caused by the failure of the legislative branch not
creating proper laws which has esulted in many immigrant children dealing with homelessness.
Politically our legislative branch has failed in making proper laws that can protect
immigrants and their children. While there have been acts brought on to help this problem, such
as the Housing Act of 1949, it did not do justice to all the children who continue to be exposed to
poverty. There are government solutions, such as sending social workers, but to immigrant
children this is their biggest fear. Immigrant children move to America, a foreign country to
them, with their family in the hopes of achieving the American dream. Due to the economic
crisis America has with affordable housing, this dream may not be achieved, and a social worker
may vote to remove the child from the situation and tear them away from their family. The
legislative branch fails in attempts to restoring better laws to protect these children and prevent
further children to be put in the same situation. Socially, before any higher authority intervenes,
in the scenario where an immigrant family is evicted from their home, children witness the
hardships their parents grow through. This creates many setbacks to their mental well-being. At a
vulnerable state, they are prone to face many challenges in their journey to adulthood. Culturally,
having moved from a different country they have to face more hardships such as discrimination.
Many landlords strictly rent to tenants of their desired race. All these problems contribute to the
set backs immigrant children are exposed.
The Great Recession is very current to the economic stability of America. Several recent
articles published in 2019 all revolve around the same topic that Americas housing crisis is only

Orozco 3

going to get worse if change isn’t made. Given that the Great Recession occurred in 2007, after
twelve years only progress has been made when looking at it from the point of view of the
government. By increasing the mortgage prices, only people who are financially stable buy or
rent property and they are not at risk of being evicted. In connection to our class book, Evicted,
many characters in the novel only depended on strictly on checks sent from the government to
provide for their children and barely make by.
The Great Recession has not been the only economic struggle that America has faced.
For instance, The Great Depression 1929-1941, The Banking Crisis 1929-1933, and the Stock
Market Crash of 1929.

Orozco 4

Work Cited
Richwine, Jason. “How Immigration Affects Child Poverty Rates.” CIS.org, Center for
Immigration Studies, 6 Dec. 2017, https://cis.org/Richwine/How-Immigration-AffectsChild-Poverty-Rates.
Ducharme, Jamie. “Detaining Families May Also Cause Mental Health Issues.” Time, Time, 21
June 2018, https://time.com/5317762/psychological-effects-detaining-immigrantfamilies/.


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Tutor went the extra mile to help me with this essay. Citations were a bit shaky but I appreciated how well he handled APA styles and how ok he was to change them even though I didnt specify. Got a B+ which is believable and acceptable.

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