Mario A. McClellan ENG COMP 101 Febuary 7, 2016 Exemplification Essay Effects of Social Networking sites As defined by Merriam Webster, social media is ”forms of electronic communication (as Web sites for social networking and microblogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (as videos)”. Social media dates back to the early 1990’s. “The first recognizable social media site, Six Degrees, was created in 1997. It enabled users to upload a profile and make friends with other users. In 1999, the first blogging sites became popular, creating a social media sensation that’s still popular today” (Hendricks, 2013); that is, as far as social sites, but email and chat rooms can also be considered a form of social media which dates as early as 1980’s. Social media, although a rather useful tool, has replaced normal behavioral interaction between people. While it’s achieving its purpose, it is creating a negative cognation in behavior pattern. Typically, my friends’ update their statuses on Facebook 3x a day, if not more. This is how users let people know what they are doing, thinking or feeling. My friends don’t have to call or text me to see where I am because I've already told them through my status. Talking with people through social media outlets eases the stress of having to call someone or go see them. Updating your Facebook status is similar to sending one “Merry Christmas” text to a mass of people; but, therein also lays the problem. It has become impersonal. You’re no longer making the connections you should be making with people through actual physical interaction. Those Mario A. McClellan ENG COMP 101 Febuary 7, 2016 moments where you sit and talk to someone in person to see how they are create bounding experiences needed to develop social behavior. In conclusion, while fulfilling its purpose, it is damaging social behavior skills. Through not directly interacting with individuals, people are missing out on developing certain social skills needed in everyday life that are outside of the internet, particularly in school or the work place. “At the end of the day, nothing can replace face-to-face conversation and interactions. Despite the explosion of online endorsements and social media dialogue between individuals and brands, researchers have found word-of-mouth exchanges and in-depth conversation are still most influential. Keller-Fay’s TalkTrack research study also suggests that 90% of the influential conversations that we have every day happen offline, while only 8% are online” (Fowlkes, 2012) While social media delivers a quick way to catch up with friends and family and thousands of other people you don’t know, interpersonal communication is still the number one way to develop social behavior and is still needed for a continued intellectual society. Exemplification Grading Rubric Criteria Unity: Is there a clear topic/thesis sentence? Does all the material in the paragraph(s) support the topic/thesis sentence? Support: Is there specific evidence/details? Is there a sufficient amount of evidence/details? Comments Yes, there is a clear thesis statement, and all material supports it. Much more evidence and detail is required. Your thesis statement is that social media has created a negative behavior pattern. You mention Facebook statuses, but that’s about it. The purpose of an exemplification essay to is to give a lot of details and examples. So, how else has social media caused a negative behavior pattern? What about how it causes cyberbullying, or how it can be a gateway to marital affairs? Try thinking of some additional points, other than what I’ve just mentioned, and add those points to the essay. Possible Points 10 35 Points Awarded 10 10 Mario A. McClellan ENG COMP 101 Febuary 7, 2016 Coherence: Is there a clear method of organization? Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas? Grammar/Sentence Skills: Do the sentences flow smoothly and clearly? Is the paper free of mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and/or usage? Is the minimum word count met? Yes, the essay is organized with the use of two transitions. MLA: Is there proper MLA formatting? MLA first page formatting not done correctly. Intext citations not done correctly. Total 20 18 25 21 10 1 60 Hi Mario, you have a good start to this exemplification essay, but much more detail is required. Please revise based on my notes and email to me by Sunday, 2/14. The revision is permitted on content only, not on formatting. If you have any questions, please let me know. Work Cited Fowlkes, Jasmine. "Viewpoint: Why Social Media Is Destroying Our Social Skills." USA TODAY College. 11 Oct. 2012. Web. 07 Feb. 2016. Hendricks, Drew. "Complete History of Social Media: Then And Now." Small Business Trends. 08 May 2013. Web. 07 Feb. 2016. Social Media. Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 07 Feb. 2016. Mario A. McClellan ENG COMP 101 Febuary 7, 2016
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