BEHS343 University of Maryland Parenting Styles Reflection Essay

Anonymous

Question Description

The readings:

  1. Diana Baumrind’s Parenting Styles. This is a two-page chart and discussion of research on parenting types. This chart is an eReserve. It is found under Content>Course Resources>eReserves. Click on the tiny words "Week One."
  2. Phyllis Heath's Parenting Styles chart. This also is an eReserve for our course, found under Content/Course Resources/eReserves/Week One.

The Assignment for your essay:

Please select one of the selected essays from our Week Two Discussion. The essay is attached called "ESSAY" and I attached an example. Please write a reflection on the each of the types (there might be more than one) of parenting illustrated in that essay you chose from the list I will give you. At the start of your paper, please identify the number of the essay you will be analyzing! Helpful hint: I will try to pick essays with clear parenting types for you to choose from. Some contain plenty of information for determining parenting style.

Please explain why you feel the essay you chose demonstrates the type or types of parenting you chose.

To strengthen your argument, search for and read one article from the web and one from the UMUC scholarly databases or other. These articles should add to your knowledge about the type of parenting you chose to study.

Your assignment is to discuss the information in the classmate's essay and the further information you found on the web or in the UMUC databases. This assignment should be around one page or two pages, single-spaced. Please explain what you found that increased your knowledge about this particular type of parenting.

You should cite your references in a little reference list at the end of your brief essay. I am not a stickler on APA style but I am very seriously interested that you use quotation marks and write down your sources.

Please remember to use quotations if you copy something from a source.

If you have questions, you may send me an email: Bernadine.barr@faculty.umuc.edu

Note: Over the decades of research on parenting, different scholars have used several different terms for parenting styles. Especially for permissive parenting, you may find a number of terms. Do not be concerned about that fact; if you need to, use a couple different terms (citing your sources) and point out they refer to the same thing.

Points: This is a ten point assignment. You can earn up to ten points on it, or ten per cent of your grade in the course.

Essay length: This brief essay could be one page, single-spaced, or two pages, double-spaced

Unformatted Attachment Preview

ESSAY #26: A special gift of patience and compassion. “In the 70’s, we didn’t lock the front door to our home; that was a very different time in society. The door to my grandparents' home opened. A familiar person came through the door with this three year old child - happy and unknowing. He told them to make sure to not ever send her back and it may be best they keep her. They spoke privately and they did just as he suggested - kept her. From that point on, that three year old child stayed in her grandparents' home. That child was me and in my family this is the one event that causes everyone to whisper to this day. This isn’t a sad story at all, just an event that shaped my life. I’m sure it shaped my thinking in every part of my life and something I cherish as a blessing. In hindsight, I believe my life was an interesting one. I often wonder if I had these certain experiences because I was supposed to do something special with those moments later - a writer maybe. This one event and how I was treated as a young child at the time shaped my thinking about my grandparents (caregivers), parent, and how I felt I needed to operate as a person. Moreover, my idea of what parenting should be may have begun right at this moment. The Beginning When I was younger, I was raised by my grandparents in a African American middle class household. Although I lived in a African American household, I have a wide experience with people of different backgrounds who have been valuable to me in my life and neighborhood while growing up. Living with my grandparents sure was a true blessing. They were such wise people. This event of how I came to live with them is such a huge thing in my family even though it has been over forty years. I never knew what happened and never questioned it. I was taught back then that you just didn’t ask things that had to do with adults. I know that may sound silly now because it had to do with me. I was raised in a household with mostly women that included my grandmother and two aunts. My grandfather was a huge figure as well. There was a mixed bag of sorts in how I was raised. My grandmother believed in strict, very structure environments and very religious. However, my grandfather’s beliefs were dramatically different. He was not religious at all and believed that children are little people learning about themselves, so if we tell them what to think, they will never find who they are or what they like. He used to say that children are not robots, they are humans that should have a little guidance only. So to that end, my grandmother’s dismay, she may have come home from work one day to me standing on the roof, with a dress on, helping my grandfather fix the roof. He had a thing about me not feeling limited and free. Those were great times. Can you imagine the conversations I heard because of their differences? Although I was raised by my grandparents, I still had communication with my mother. I still called her ‘mother’ and my grandparents were called ‘mom and dad’. It may sound weird but it worked for us. I was taught to respect her as my mother even through all of the challenges we went through. She had a very different way of communicating with me. She was short, abrasive, and times spent with her was usually - challenging. At that age it was confusing because of the difference in households, parenting and treatment of me. I knew if I was with her, I needed to just sit back and be very observant of her body language and tone. Just to put this in perspective, when I was with my grandparents, I was treated well and felt loved. However, when I was with my mom I could never do anything right, something was always wrong, or she was upset about something and this meant I was in trouble. I am 49 years old and to this day I have to be mindful of my mother’s intentions when she is communicating with me. Family Event and Treatment Whatever happened is a secret, the ‘drop off event is even more of an issue in conversation and after all these years, no one will speak on it. The challenges I had while trying to navigate two completely different households was great. I think my grandparents and my mother’s siblings always felt the need to cover me from harm. However, from the lens of a child, it also felt like my mother was determined to do just the opposite. I was very cautious. As I reflect, my mother was defensive and it started with the family friend dropped me off at my grandparents' door that day. When I was in the midst of it all, I cared more about why I was treated in such a way by my mother and less about the actual event. At this point it has been so many years, I can’t say I want to know why she treats me so indifferently. It’s difficult to explain and it isn’t parenting at all. It is if we are distant relatives. The behavior of both ‘sides’ are the same as when I was young; my grandparents and mothers’ siblings treatment of me is pretty normal and my mother is the complete opposite. Worldviews My worldviews, the way I communicate, thoughts on parenting and my overall thinking has a lot to do with the way I was raised. I was raised to move forward and through challenges. I find I am great at that. The events of my life could have had a negative affect on my own thoughts and behaviors but it didn’t. I made a conscious decision early to be a different type of parent. I took a lot of patterns from my grandparents I’m sure but I decided to raise my own children much differently than my mother. I am proud of that. I raised my children the same as my grandparents taught me; to be free thinkers and they have the ability to achieve anything in life. I had a rule that the household was always fun but with rules and love. The rule was always no one goes to bed upset - even siblings or children mad with parents for one reason or another. I always believed that anything could be worked through conversation. I find they are teaching their children - my grandchildren - the same way. I believe that situation somehow made me a strong person. I had to be at an early age. As a parent and Special Educator, I have such great instincts and I thank my past history for that. I learned very early how to read people and body language and it translates into my daily life now. My instincts are amazing; especially when there is someone in need. It is hard to explain how I know. I also seem to have a special gift of patience and compassion for people. My students, co-workers, and my own children often tell me it is something in my spirit and voice (tone) that is calming. Somehow I can calm whole rooms down by just entering the space. It is pretty amazing. I decided early to find the silver lining in it all and I am glad I decided to live this way. Running head: Week 2 Essay EXAMPLE PAPER For this assignment I chose to reflect on essay # 5: Justice with feet and fists. According to Baumrind (2005), there are four identified styles of parenting: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful. The parenting styles I have identified in essay # 5 is Traditional Running head: Week 2 Essay Parenting, a mixture of both authoritarian and authoritative parenting. I argue that the Traditional parenting style is a mixture of both authoritarian and authoritative because in Traditional parenting, parents are cold, demanding, harsh (authoritarian), but balance strictness by implementing affection. The children in essay # 5 were met with severe beatings as a means of discipline; however, the parents were also open to compromise, negotiation, and also displayed memorable affection. According to Sarwar (2016) “The authoritarian parents attempt to evaluate, shape and control the attitudes as well as behavior of their children in line with set standards of conduct, known as absolute standard.” In the authoritarian parenting style, children must follow strict guidelines set by the parents. If children fail to follow these strict guidelines they are punished, to include physical punishment. Authoritarian parenting tends to be more common in African American, Asian American, and Hispanic families, unlike authoritative parenting which is more prevalent in families with a European ethnic background (Pinquart & Kauser, 2018). Authoritative parenting is characterized by responsiveness, demandingness, and independence granting. “It is generally believed that authoritative parenting encompasses an optimal mix of both warmth and control such that children receive consistent messages not only about the expectations that their parents have for them but also the support and responsiveness they need in order to meet these expectations” (Maccoby & Martin, 1983). Traditional parenting is associated with immigrants, this parenting style is similar to Authoritarian parenting because it is demanding and harsh; however, it allows for affection. I can personally relate to Traditional parenting, I was raised in a strict Christian home in which my Running head: Week 2 Essay parents believed that harsh discipline was necessary for my upbringing. I understand that my parents were only following what their parents and church had taught them, but studies have shown that harsh and cruel parenting is ineffective. In this essay, harsh parenting was passed from generation to generation; inflicting a pattern of violence derived from previous generations. It was individual experiences, in this case military service that allowed for reflection. Although the author has not personally experienced parenthood, he/she has already reflected and understood the consequences of violence as a disciplinary tool. Military service has also demonstrated the ineffectiveness of violence in discipline, allowing the author to identify a more appropriate and effective approach to parenting. Parenting is a difficult task, although studies have shown that Authoritarian parenting has the highest level of academic achievement outcome and is less likely to inflict behavioral problems, there is no parenting style that can generate a specific outcome. There are many factors that will determine how a child will respond to parenting, understanding a child’s individual needs and personality will determine the most effective and appropriate parenting style for that specific child. References Baumrind, D. (2005). Patterns of parental authority and adolescent autonomy. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 2005(8), 61-69. Running head: Week 2 Essay Estep, H. M., Avalos, M. D., & Olson, J. N. (2017). The relationship between parenting styles, general deviance, academic dishonesty, and infidelity. College Student Journal, 51(4), 473-482. Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In: P. H. Mussen (Series Ed.) & E. M. Hetherington (Vol. Ed.), Handbook of child psychology, Vol. 4. Socialization, personality, and social development (4th ed., pp. 1–101). New York: John Wiley and Sons. Pinquart, M., & Kauser, R. (2018). Do the associations of parenting styles with behavior problems and academic achievement vary by culture? Results from a meta-analysis. Cultural Diversity And Ethnic Minority Psychology, 24(1), 75-100. doi:10.1037/cdp0000149 RODRÍGUEZ, M. D., DONOVICK, M. R., & CROWLEY, S. L. (2009). Parenting Styles in a Cultural Context: Observations of “Protective Parenting” in First-Generation Latinos. Family Process, 48(2), 195-210. Sarwar, S. (2016). Influence of Parenting Style on Children's Behaviour. Journal Of Education And Educational Development, 3(2), 222-249. ...
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Tutor Answer

nixiypixiy
School: University of Virginia

Working on citing and reference list now :) but here is the outline to your paper

Parenting Styles Outline:
Paragraph one:





For this assignment I chose to reflect and review essay #26: A special gift of patience and
compassion.
Describe the four types of parenting.
Type of Parenting found in this essay: Authoritative and permissive
I agree
Paragraph two:





Brief summary of how the household was both permissive and authoritative
Permissive- grandfather believed children should have little guidance
Authoritative- strict and religious grandmother.



Paragraph three:
References showcasing and describing permissive parenting that relates to the parenting
style displayed in the household
Paragraph four:



References showcasing and describing authoritative parenting that relates to the parenting
style displayed in the household
Conclusion:





Review styles of parenting
I agree with the mixed parenting
Parenting is no easy task

Here is the finished product! If you need any edits or rev...

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