Friendship 1 The Meaning of Friendship Brianna D. Aaron Friendship 2 Abstract The term “friendship” is a very broad term that contains a variety of other categories that can be used to describe all of the different types of friendships. Society is made up of many different types of bonds in which friendship is either present or not present. If friendship is present, the extent to which it is present depends upon many factors such as trust, emotional connections, and shared morals and values. This essay defines the different types of friendships and applies them to societal interactions. Friendships can occur between people of all ages and vary in significance and meaning. Our society is made up of various friendships between people of different races, social groups, ages, gender, and varies in strength depending on the people involved. By examining the different types of friendships and their contributions to how society functions, we can evaluate our own friendships and how they contribute to not only our personal choices but the choices we make as members of society. Keywords: friendship quality, the nature of friendship, eudemonic friendship, symbolic interaction, functionalism, conflict theory Friendship 3 Table of Contents Abstract........................................................................................................................................... 2 Introduction..................................................................................................................................... 4 Friendship Quality.......................................................................................................................... 4 Friendship Quality and Symbolic Interaction… ..............................................................................4 Friendship Quality and Functionalism ............................................................................................ 5 Friendship Quality and Conflict Theory ......................................................................................... 5 The Nature of Friendship… ............................................................................................................ 6 The Nature of Friendship and Symbolic Interaction ........................................................................6 The Nature of Friendship and Functionalism ................................................................................. 7 The Nature of Friendship and Conflict Theory ............................................................................... 7 Eudaimonic Friendship…............................................................................................................... 8 Eudaimonic Friendship and Functionalism.....................................................................................8 Eudaimonic Friendship and Symbolic Interaction .......................................................................... 9 Eudaimonic Friendship and Conflict Theory .................................................................................. 9 Conclusion.................................................................................................................................... 10 References......................................................................................................................................11 Friendship 4 The Meaning of Friendship Introduction Friendship is defined by many people in many ways. Whether the friendship is a quality friendship that has meaning and will last depends on many factors that involve the emotional connections and trust between two people. Friendships that are based upon simple ideas such as liking the same color or being in the same class at school are often the types of friendships that children have. As we grow older and begin to develop our own morals and standards, our choice of who we want to associate ourselves with changes. We tend to gravitate towards people with not only similar interests but also similar morals and values to our own. Real friendship has many different parts that when put together, create an entire friendship. Friendship Quality Friendship quality is broken up into two categories: quality of friendship and social competence. Quality is defined as “… typically characterized in non-moral terms, as pertaining to ‘level’ or ‘degree’ of emotional support, absence of conflict, enjoyment of companionship, and the like” (Walker, Curren, & Jones, 2016, pg. 286). Social competence is similarly defined, but also includes “prosocial” orientation or temperament. Without these, friendships would not work. If a friend does not support you emotionally and had a bad temperament, you are likely not going to want to be friends with them anymore. Friendship can only work if the two people who are involved are happy with the relationship that they have. If one friend is not happy, chances are it is not a real friendship (Walker, Curren, & Jones, 2016, p. 286-287). Friendship Quality and Symbolic Interaction The quality and social competence of a friendship can be examined through symbolic interactions. Symbolic interaction theory, “… examines people’s everyday behavior through the Friendship 5 communication of knowledge, ideas, beliefs, and attitudes” (Benokraitis, 2015, p. 16). Quality friendship is made up of symbolic interactions. We each have our own picture of what a quality friend is. The qualities that you associate with a good friend are symbolic. If someone were to ask you what you look for in a friend, your answers would be symbolic interactions. You are conveying your ideas and beliefs of what a good friend is. The qualities of what makes a good friend vary from person to person, but overall, quality friendship comes from symbolic interactions. Friendship Quality and Functionalism Functionalism, “… maintains that society is a complex system of interdependent parts that work together to ensure a society’s survival” (Benokraitis, 2015, p. 13). Friendship quality is crucial to the way in which our society works. If friendships were based upon simple ideas such as similar likes and nothing else, people would not be able to create bonds that are held together by mutual trust. The quality of friendship that people have with each other leads to marriages, business partnerships, or basically any arrangement in which two or more people create bonds in which they trust each other and work together for a common goal. Quality friendships are the basis for families as well as the partnerships that are required to move forward and be a productive society. Friendship Quality and Conflict Theory Conflict theory, “… examines how and why groups disagree, struggle over power, and compete for scarce resources” (Benokraitis, 2015, p. 13). When quality friendships occur, people and groups get along, but with the absence of quality friendship, people may not get along as well. People can be “friends” and still compete with one another. Friendships that are formed either in spite of someone or for a person’s personal advantage are not quality friendships and if Friendship 6 or when these friendships end, it can lead to disagreements and competition between the former friends. With the presence of quality friendships, conflict theory is not present because the people involved work together and support each other rather than argue and fight. Friendship quality is related to conflict theory in that friendship quality cancels out the idea of conflict theory because in quality friendships, there is no competition. The Nature of Friendship Friendship has been defined by philosophers to be, “… a form of relationship that is: based in the mutual positive regard two people have for one another, exhibits mutual concern and willingness to act for the good of other’s sake, and involves time spent together in shared activities” (qtd. in Walker, Curren, & Jones, 2016, p. 288). This, similar to quality of friendship, defines what friendship itself is. Just because you are a part of a friendship does not mean that you have a quality friendship. Your friend could be there to support you sometimes or you could see each other occasionally, but that does not mean that the friendship is quality. The Nature of Friendship and Symbolic Interaction When we think of friendship, many ideas come to mind. We may think of people who are nice to us, places we go or activities that we do with our friends, or anything that we associate with friendship in general. These are all symbolic interactions. Friendship in general is symbolic. There is no set definition for what friendship is. Friendships are formed in random and unexpected ways. Those situations in which friendships are created allow for us to form ideas on what friendship is and where they originate from. To one, a person who sits next to them in class every day and is nice to them is considered a friend while to another, a person who they spend their personal time with a friend. These are both symbolic interactions because they Friendship 7 symbolize to that person what a friend is and that idea of what a friend is differs from person to person. The Nature of Friendship and Functionalism The nature of friendship is a part of functionalism because we need friendships in order for our society to function properly. Friendship is crucial to the way in which our world works and how we deal with both personal and public issues. We need friends to help us through hard times, whether by providing emotional or physical help. Friends help each other when one is in a tough situation that they cannot fix on their own. Also, without friendship, we would not be able to learn how to work together and therefore we would have a difficult time surviving. Some of the biggest ideas have been created by friends and had those friendships not occurred, they would have never happened. Without these ideas, our society would not be anywhere near as advanced as we are today. The Nature of Friendship and Conflict Theory Similar to friendship quality, a world that contains no friendships is a world that cannot function. Basic friendships are essential to our survival and progress as human beings. Without friendship, we would not survive because we would not be able to form even basic connections with others which would create ongoing conflict and competition. Friendship in its most basic form is two people who like each other. If no one liked each other, there would be no reason for anyone to care about anyone but themselves and therefore they would put their survival needs above those of anyone else and they would be willing to do anything to defend themselves and their needs. At our most primitive stage, friendship is crucial because it allows for people to work together for the well-being of each person in the relationship rather than just one person alone. Friendship 8 Eudaimonic Friendship Eudaimonic friendship is a deeper kind of friendship. It involves respect for each other— such as not cheating, lying, or manipulating each other—being able to see the good in the other person and appreciate them for their true self, and actually being willing to do something for the other person’s sake. Often times, eudaimonic friendships occur later in life when we have developed our own morals and are able to recognize those morals in others and decide if we really want to be friends with that person. In children, this is less common because they have not yet figured out what is really important to them and their friendships are based upon what is good at the moment and not what is good in the long-run (Walker, Curren, & Jones, 2016, p. 290-291). Eudaimonic Friendship and Functionalism This concept connects to functionalism because as we age, we come to a better understanding of what our morals and beliefs are and what we look for in other people. This dictates how society works, similar to friendship quality. If we all disliked each other, we would not make any advancements. On the contrary, if we all liked each other and had very personal connections with everyone we know, we could have trouble making advancements because we would fear hurting others. The different qualities that we look for or do not look for help us to establish relationships and find our place in society that keeps society going. It is beneficial for us to form eudaimonic friendships with only a select amount of people because that way we are able to determine who we will prioritize over others as well as who we will trust the most when we need help. Without a few eudaimonic friendships, we would not have anyone who we know certainly that we can truly depend when we are in need of help and who we know can truly depend on us. Friendship 9 Eudaimonic Friendship and Symbolic Interaction When we picture a eudaimonic friendship, we picture something other than a simple friendship or even a quality friendship. We may picture a person who we call “uncle” or “aunt” even though they are not a part of our family. We also may picture an elderly married couple who has been married for as long as anyone can remember. These are all symbolic interactions because they are what we think of when we think of eudaimonic friendship. If someone were to ask you what would represent a eudaimonic friendship, any answer that you give them would be a symbolic interaction because you are telling that person what that means to you. Eudaimonic friendship itself is a symbolic interaction because it describes the perception that someone has on a bond between two people. Eudaimonic Friendship and Conflict Theory Eudaimonic friendship contributes to conflict theory in many ways because it answers the question as to why people may compete against each other and disagree. If someone has an eudaimonic friendship with someone and another person dislikes that person or puts them in harm’s way, the friend will stick up for their friend against the other person. Now, not only does the one friend have a conflict or disagreement with the person, but now their friend is also involved which creates greater conflict. For example, if you have a eudaimonic friendship and your friend runs for office, you are going to do anything you can to support that friend as well as anything you can to compete with anyone else who may be running. Eudaimonic friendships have such strong bonds that conflict can easily be created if one person in the friendship is treated unfairly or poorly by someone outside of the friendship. Eudaimonic friendships can even ruin other friendships because the if the person has to make the choice between their friend Friendship 10 with which they have a eudaimonic friendship with or their friend that they do not, they will most likely choose the friend with whom they share a eudaimonic friendship. Conclusion Overall, there are many factors that go into friendship and what kind of friendship people have as well as how those different types of friendships affect society and how it functions. Friendships can vary greatly from person to person due to factors such as age, location, family, and their overall upbringing. Regardless of what kind, friendship is crucial to our society and how the world works. We survive and make advancements all because of friendships. Friendships are the reason that we are here and the reason why we are able to live our lives each and every day. Friendship 11 References Enormities, N.V. (2015). SOC5: Introduction to Sociology. Boston, Massachusetts: Cengage Learning Walker, D.I, Curren, R., & Jones, C. (2016). Good Friendships among Children: A Theoretical and Empirical Investigation, Journal For The Theory Of Social Behaviour, 46(3), 286309. doi:10.1111/jtsb.12100
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