Technology improvement, essay revision help

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timer Asked: May 29th, 2016
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I attached the file down below that has the file that i want to edit and proofread. The paper has the instructions from the teacher. Thank you.

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1 TECHNOLOGY IMPROVEMENT OF LIFE Technology can be just be defined as a deployment of machines to improve our life, whereas the quality of life can be well explained in two aspects, that is, non-material and material life. Nonmaterial quality life refers to the level of access to valued health care, life expectancy, disease incidences, education availability and quality of teaching. On the other hand, material quality life denotes to comfort, the level of wealth and available necessities. Improve is a term that means make something better. It is an arguable point that technology has made our lives better both materially, and nonmaterially, we are going to how this betterment is achieved. This opening paragraph is very confusingly written, Fatima. Are you talking about how technology improves life? I’m not getting that from the title or from this paragraph. You will need to rework this to read more clearly that you are discussing how technology is improving our lives. Technology is a realm aspect is ‘realm aspect’ a thing? Is that how you say it? in our present human life. Some people view technology as a force that has driven individuals from control . While other persons see as a tool that has improved the value of life. What do you think about technology regarding positivity and negativity in the area of human life? This can be best explained by you with very appropriate examples with respect where technology has made your life better or miserable. It is an agreeable fact that technology has become part of every living creature on the surface of the earth. The notion of choosing this area of whether technology is good or bad for the quality of our life is debatable. Thompson debates that a good number of people believe that technology has had an improvement to our modern way of living in diversified aspects. Others curse out that technology is over human control, and they view antagonistic effects in contemporary life. After a keen examination of different disciplines namely medicine, education and daily life, I comfortably have a sensation that technology has improved modern life in qualitative and positive lives of human beings. The principal purpose for me to have such a stance is how our daily activities have taken much of deployment of technology. A good example is house security systems. These systems are more robust as compared to previous systems that had no connection with the police force. Another area of improvement is household chores. Our ladies were much engaged most tiring tasks such washing clothes and cooking. Laundries and electrical cookers have replaced women in this area. This is a greater improvement since time that would have been used doing these duties can be allotted to another assignment. Daily life activities are not only an area that is a beneficiary of technology usage, but medicine is also another area that has seen the huge betterment of quality of life. In fact, my big applause goes to technology in this field. Various diseases that caused massive deaths can be diagnosed as early as 1 possible and appropriate preventive mechanisms be put in place saving these lives. Bronzino agrees that technology has enabled doctors find Medicare ways to make people live better lives in comparison with lives lived before. Advancement in technology has led to designation of medical equipment like surgery tools, these tools were never present before. A patient suffering from chronic heart diseases can get heart replacement giving them a second chance of living. This was impossible before technology was infused. Another good positive reason for me to cheer up technology is in the area of education. It is viewable to every scholar benefits from technology during their learning process. Notably, the deployment of video conferences contributes significantly to education. Computers are other sample contributors to education discipline. Khosrow-Pour and Mehdi argues that a well-equipped computer lab gives students a good chance to learn more skills in their area of specialization. To be specific, students taking networking would explore much in this area having a feel of real networking world by use of simulation tools such as packet tracer. The simulations are not only in networking tools but in all fields of education. Transportation is another discipline that is recommendable concerning technological advancement. Dixon comments that today’s transportation has had significant effects that can be felt by everyone because of technology. Technological growth has affected the communication, tracking, speed, effectiveness and efficiency of every transportation mode. The advancement of the UPC barcodes has renovated transportation in number of ways. For example, the barcodes are used for tracing ship containers, documents and packages. Freight forwarders are the most beneficiaries of barcodes. Every package can be tracked and located with ease by use of UPC code Communication is an additional field that applauses technological advancement. Communication systems growths have made tremendous changes to our today’s communication. The internet, telephones, and televisions roam our mind when we speak about communication technology. Users of these gadgets in the society have experienced the essentiality of the technology because it easier to communicate. Many decades ago, mail transmission was the only available means of communication. This was so inconveniencing since it was very slow. The internet and telephone have taken over. These systems I tell you they are real time. One does not need to wait even for seconds to receive a message send. Also, people are to pay bills by use of internet. The systems used here are safe to use. Personally, I attest that the global world has been reduced to a local village you may imagine. In my final examination I have a better understanding that a technological benefit surmounts the disadvantages. I do not have thought that technology uncontrollable by humans. By a closer look at the provided information above and your prior knowledge concerning technology then it is clear that technology has improved and is still making our lives better and better. Areas that have experienced 1 technological grown include and are not limited to Medical field, Education sector, Transportation area and our daily activities. Medical advancement gives humans an opportunity to have longer lives and also live healthier lives as compared to lives lived before. Education has been made more comfortable and enjoyable by technological advancements. At the end of the day, technology is designed and developed by individuals with a goal to better the quality of life. It is agreeable fact that every one of us is deploying technological advances in one way or another during our daily activities. As you can see, I stopped editing this in the beginning. The writing here is very confusing and uses some very odd phrases. What do ‘applauses technological advancement’, ‘realm aspect’, and ‘receive a message send’ mean? These are only a very small example of what I’m talking about. This paper I think is supposed to be about how technology is helping our lives, yes? It is supposed to be a neutral paper with observations and explanations. You and your opinions and observations should not show up anywhere here and you should not address the reader. There should be no pronouns: I/you/we/me/us, etc. You are welcome to use ‘he/she/it/they’, but that is all. Each of your paragraphs seems to be geared toward one way that technology has helped our society, and that is great. Now you need to go through and rewrite all sentences so that they make grammatical sense. As it stands, it sort of looks like things were plugged into an internet translator (I’m not saying it was, but this is how those sorts of things come out). Clear things up, state them concisely and in proper grammar, and remove all personal pronouns and opinions. If you have questions, please let me know. The chart of what the highlight codes mean is below: 1 ...
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Tutor Answer

caliramin
School: Purdue University

here is the assignment

TECHNOLOGY IMPROVEMENT OF LIFE
Technology is defined as the use of machines to improve lives. The quality of life can be
well explained in two aspects which include non-material and material life. Non-material quality
life refers to the level of access to valued health care, life expectancy, disease incidences,
education availability and quality of teaching. On the other hand, material quality life refers to
comfort, the level of wealth and available necessities. To improve mean making something
better. In this essay, we are going to discuss how technology has made material and non-material
life better.
Technology is an area of interest in our present human life. Some people view
technology as a force that drives people out of control while others may see it as a tool that has to
improve the value of life. What does technology state regarding positivity and negativity in the
area of human life? This can be best explained by use of appropriate examples depending on
whether technology has made people lives better or miserable.
It is a fact that technology has become part of every living creature on the surface of the
earth. The idea of deciding whether technology is good or bad for the quality of li...

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