While intelligence is a critical attribute for a leader to have, in order to truly be effective and build a
strong team, a leader must also develop emotional intelligence. The first two dimensions of emotional
intelligence constitute personal competence and are self-awareness and self-management. These are
the abilities an employee to recognize and monitor their own emotions and reactions to a situation.
Self-awareness is acknowledging what you know to be your true strengths and weaknesses and
understanding how they can impact your ability to be effective in your role. This requires an amount of
confidence in yourself, to acknowledge your short-comings but not allow those issues to prevent you
from asking for help, or accepting a more challenging project or role. Self-management is more about
controlling your outward emotions, or what other people may see in you. For instance, using emotional
self-control to ensure you are not losing your temper when there are issues that you are having trouble
coming to agreement about with your peers, boss, or other employees. Another example is the ability
to adapt to different situations that may arise, by flexing your style to meet the needs of the situation.
The other two dimensions of emotional intelligence are considered social competence and more
focused on how we manage relationships. Social awareness is the ability to read a room and react
appropriately. For instance, there are meetings that are more formal in nature than others. It’s often a
reflection of the personalities in the room at the time. I tend to use humor as a way to ease the tension
in a room, or to set the tone of the meeting. However, I do have to assess before I do, and pay
attention to the body language I’m seeing, and gauge the appetite for a little levity. Relationshipmanagement your ability to manage your interactions with your peers, staff, teams in a meaningful and
positive way. It’s about cultivating positive relationships that allow you to influence, collaborate, lead,
and develop others.
I really believe that a lot of us mature into becoming emotionally intelligent leaders. At least that is
true for me. A few years ago, I was nominated to participate in a leadership program and one of the
first things we had to do was ask a few people to give us honest feedback on our style. I had to ask one
of my peers to tell me what I should stop doing, start doing, and keep doing. We had to meet and have
a really open and honest discussion about his feedback. That was extremely uncomfortable for me. In
looking back now, I think I was really worried about verbally acknowledging my short-comings, and
allowing myself to be vulnerable to have an open and honest discussion about them. However, all he
did was say out loud the things I already knew about myself. The verbalization of my short-comings
actually gave me the confidence I needed to address them and develop a plan to overcome them. I’m
still a work in progress, but I’m not afraid of hearing that type of feedback anymore. I welcome it and
seek it out, especially from those who I trust to use that power I give them wisely! This one exercise has
been a real catalyst for me to work on improving my emotional intelligence, and I see the impact it's
having on my ability to effectively manage my own team.
A person’s emotions influence how a person behaves at work and how they will respond in certain
situations. Their previous experiences and personality will also shape how a person will respond. The
four main components of emotional intelligence are: self-awareness, self-management, socialawareness, and relationship management. Self-awareness and self-management are emotional
intelligence measures of managing oneself, and personal competence. Social-awareness and
relationship management are social competence components of emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness is the employee’s conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and
desires. The main principle of self-awareness is the understanding of oneself. Knowing when a situation
needs to be brought to the attention of management and beyond one’s knowledge, or skills is a
quintessential example of self-awareness.
Self-management is an employee’s ability to self-regulate and being responsible for their own behavior.
Being honest and transparent is an essential element of self-management. Making mistakes is
inevitable, particularly when a younger employee. However, being able to notify management and
informing them is crucial so that they are aware and can attempt to rectify.
Social awareness is the ability to the ability to recognize the emotions of others in a situation and use it
to manage relationships. Being able to recognize the emotions and perspectives in a situation is a key to
understanding all parties and creating effective solutions in a meeting setting. Being able to empathize
and acknowledge what all parties hope to accomplish will help to make a win-win solution.
Relationship management is the emotional intelligence component related to ensuring long lasting
successful relationships. Building and creating a network of relationships is an essential element of
relationship management. Within the construction management field relationships and reputation are
essential. Maintaining the relationships is essential for getting the best pricing, and manpower
scheduling when there is a choice among two contractors.
In addition to maintaining relationships with subcontractors which a construction firm utilizes, another
essential relationship is with coworkers. I have had a positive experience with my new company where
my coworkers are constantly open to teaching me new information and techniques. Furthermore, my
company does almost all of our work with one hospital, this has advantages and disadvantages. One
advantage to this is relationships are established despite changing projects we see familiar faces on
almost all our projects. Over the years the hospital has granted us trust due to the work that we have
completed. However, these relationships are very fragile our reputation is something that is lost
entirely with one mistake.
Relationships are a crucial function of any business. In particular it is essential in the construction
industry. Knowing how to control your emotions and maintaining relationships is crucial. Being able to
have self-awareness and self-management are the personal competence components of emotional
intelligence. Having social awareness and relationship management are social competence measures of
Often explaining the miscorrelation between raw intelligence and success is emotional intelligence,
which is a combination of character disposition and emotions understood and used in concert, to direct
how to think and respond accordingly in each situation. Similar to our understanding of maturity,
emotional intelligence has both a personal and social aptitude, demonstrated through four components:
self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
Self-awareness can be explained as comprehending one’s own emotions, and acknowledging their full
force. In understanding one’s strengths and weaknesses, comes the development of a sense of selfworth, and level of proficiency. This is critical in how we manage ourselves and is the first step toward all
the remaining components. Without self-awareness there is no basis or baseline for articulating
meaning or purpose, leaving one often confused and erratic in decision making and social interaction.
For example, self-awareness is crucial when interpreting performance evaluations. A manager delivering
an evaluation to an employee with low self-awareness will experience push back in the form of
defensiveness, minimization, projection, and denial. The impact of this means the employee is unable to
make needed corrections in behavior that would be beneficial to both self and the organization.
Self-management expands upon self-awareness by translating what one is capable of into a more global
perspective of how to create change by navigating the complexity of self first, and then how should you
interact given the environment around you. Critical to this is emotional self-control, which includes
keeping dysregulating emotions and compulsions under control. Thus allowing for adaptability,
proactivity, and emotional buoyancy, which are attractive and useful qualities in an employee. By way of
example, for many, speaking in front of a large crowd has the potential to be terrifying, but those with
mastery in self-management can translate those fears into a recognition of excitement, not paralysis.
Thus increasing the chances of a successful presentation rather than a detrimental one.
Social awareness moves past self into our understanding of how emotional intelligence affects our
relationship. This includes being empathic towards other’s perspectives, interpreting organizational
networks and politics, and being able to be customer centric in service delivery. An example of social
awareness would be a mid-level manager who is both fair and advocates on behalf of the staff she is
managing, who also understands how to network in C-level circles, which sets up greater influence and
chances of her performance being noticed for advancement. She understands that depending on the
circumstances her customer may be the person her staff is working with, but in another sense the
customer is also the next level of management up from her. She needs to meet the needs of her boss in
order to fulfill her role in the organization. This social awareness allows her to utilizes her have a good
sense of the part she plays in the organization and adjusts her behavior according to the context.
Relationship management builds on the quality of the previous three elements and uses them in
relationships to influence and develop others, and whenever leading in a new direction. This is especially
useful in conflict management, as well as, working together on a team work or collaborating. For
example if a leader wants to set a new course for an organization, he has to be able to address the
conflict that will arise when followers resist the change, by being empathic toward their concerns, not
allowing personal insecurities or doubts to overwhelm him, and having the belief of self-efficacy in the
face of challenges. He can establish a collaborative team to work together in unison, and develop them
with support and guidance.
Recently, I’ve been working on a comprehensive county-wide project to establish a new protocol for all
law establishment in the county to notify school districts whenever a youth is on the scene of police
action that qualifies as traumatic. The goal is to intervene at the point of trauma, notifying the school to
handle the student with care in the case he or she presents concerning behavior, which could be
connected to the trauma recently experienced. In the process of pulling in collaborators I connected
with the county superintendent, who then invited all school district liaisons to join our workgroup,
effectively tripling the size of sub-committee. After our first full workgroup meeting, the superintendent
asked to meet to debrief our first meeting. She expressed confusion and frustration about the function
of the workgroup and how her leadership and influence fit into the process we were undertaking. I
received her feedback, validated her concerns, and also reflected back points where I had solicited her
input leading up to and in preparation for the first full meeting. As we both understood the other’s
perspective we were able to reconfigure our workgroup structure, ultimately activating even more of
superintendent’s influence and involvement. It also simplified my approach and is allowing me to work
in a more efficient manner. I attribute this win-win to the adept use of emotional intelligence, both on
the part of the county superintendent and me, as we embark on the initiative together, resolving
conflict along the way, and course correcting based on active feedback.
In conclusion, the four components of emotional intelligence expand our understand of overall
intelligence. Using these skills will enhance anyone’s capabilities and increase performance. Selfawareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management are extremely valuable
skills to hone and put to use, both personally and for an organization’s benefit.
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