write or rewrite my comments + grammar check

Sep 21st, 2014
Sigchi4life
Category:
Writing
Price: $10 USD

Question description

Hi, I need help. I need to write 3 comments on my classmates speeches. Each needs to be around 100 words. 

Can you write out my comments and reprasing and rewrite the comments so I have approx 100 words per comment. There are 3 comments, so I need min. 300 words total

Below you will find my written comments. 

________________________________

1. 

Madeliaa speech was about how to make oil santo. She had all material that were needed to show how to make the oil. She also included pictures, she showed them only but she should have passed them around. 

I liked that she used two examples how two make two different kinds of that oil. She explain clearly for what and how you can use the oil. 

string description, Good conclusion with a good summary of the speech. but she spoke a lil to fast or she should work on her speed. 

It was very informative, she should have focused more on the denomination.  

2.

Skyer was presenting a tourniquet. Good introduction, he chatched the audience attention by asking questions. I like it how he demonstating it on someone and explained and showed it pretty well how to use the kit how it works. He demonstrated it step by step. I liked it how he moved the person around that he demonstrated it on, so the audience would see what he was doing. He spoke very freely. you could tell that he was very familiar with the topic. 

good but short conclusion. there was no summary in it. at the end he looked a lil lost and there was no proper ending. 

3.

Christoper was demonstration speech was on how make a paper airplane. There was no attention gather. the detonation on how to make the plain was very good. He made a board with the instructions and also showed and explain every step. I liked it how he included the audience to fold the plain step by step with him together. He was always holing the plain up, so very one can se what he was doing. Good conclusion. good summary. I liked his ending, where he attend a personal experience why he likes paper airplanes. 

The speech was very good but he should use more precise words.  


Tutor Answer

(Top Tutor) Daniel C.
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