Running Head: RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS: THE PARENT TRAP (1998)
1
Natalia Camacho Cubillos
Relationship Analysis: The Parent Trap (1998)
George Mason University
HEAL 351
Disclaimer
Since I am not a trained professional, my assessment should not be construed as a professional
opinion. I will be using the knowledge and experience I have developed in this class to evaluate
the relative health or dysfunction of these relationships and make recommendations for
improvement of each one
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Relationships are — not surprisingly — enormously important for health and well-being;
there are multiple studies on the biological processes that account for the link between
relationships and health (Johnson, 2011). All angles of interpersonal relationships are depicted
daily through the media in many TV shows, movies, books, podcasts, and video games.
Maintaining good healthy relationships is key to allow individuals to grow in a much healthier
manner and avoid ticking marks that can lead to dysfunctional and even toxic relationships.
A healthy relationship can be defined by the Hall Health Center Health Promotion (2016)
as a connection based on mutual respect, trust, honesty, support, fairness/equality, separate
identities, good communication, and a sense of playfulness/fondness developed between two
people. A good relationship provides and allows for the provision of support, doesn’t make the
other person feel harshly evaluated, promotes a sense of connection and meaning, encourages
health-enhancing behaviors, provides opportunities for long-term partnership and physical
affection, and “acts as a buffer in the face of other bad relationships” (Newman & Roberts,
2013). Moreover, a good relationship does all of this with consideration for each individual’s
sense of what support means.
In this paper, I will observe and explain the dynamics that are operating within three
relationships found in Walt Disney’s The Parent Trap released on July 20th, 1998. The Parent
Trap tells the tale of identical twin sisters, separated shortly after birth by the break-up of their
parents. After the girls coincidentally meet at a summer camp in Maine, they devise a scheme to
switch places and ultimately, reunite their mom and dad (Meyers, 1998). The first relationship
that will be analyzed is the familial relationship between the twins Annie and Hallie. The second
relationship examined is the romantic relationship between Nick and Elizabeth. Lastly, I will
examine the romantic relationship between Nick and Meredith. I analyzed multiple moments
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throughout the film that covered communication, attraction, influence, vulnerability, and
integrity to gain a closer look at the relative health of each relationship.
Relationship 1: Annie and Hallie
Annie and Hallie’s familial relationship is perhaps the most important in the film. Annie
and Hallie were separated at birth due to the separation of their parents. Annie stayed in London
with her mom and Hallie went to live in Napa, California with her dad. Their relationship started
as an antagonistic relationship since they were unaware that they were related. Nonetheless, they
discover that they are twins, Annie and Hallie build a good relationship, and plan a scheme: for
each girl to switch and meet the parent she has never met and reunited them.
Communication in the Relationship
Effective communication is an important characteristic of strong, healthy families.
Research identifies communication as an essential building block of strong marital, parent-child,
and sibling relationships (Peterson, 2019).
At the beginning of the film, Annie and Hallie were put together in the isolation cabin as
punishment for a series of pranks they pulled on one another. During this time, they learned to
communicate with one another and leave aside their differences. By doing so, they promptly
discovered many facts about each other which led them to finally realize that they were twins
(Meyers, 1998). The twins then continued to practice good communication skills by teaching
each other how to impersonate one another. Hallie helped Annie get a haircut and pierce her ears,
Annie helped Hallie imitate Annie's British accent; they also taught each other the layout of their
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house, the mechanics of their family, and even the secret handshake between Annie and the
James' butler, Martin.
Multiple studies have investigated the mechanisms through which high-quality
communication in family relationships is beneficial. Family support positively influences
adaptive coping styles and the effectiveness of coping responses to stressful events (Newman &
Roberts, 2013). In a specific scene, good communication skills are crucial. The twins were able
to discover the nature of their relationship, cope with the lie their parents told them, and carry out
their master plan: to switch places and ultimately, reunite their mom and dad because they took
the time to listen to each other, express their emotions, and communicate clearly. The way that
Annie and Hallie handle their new reality and worked together to understand and support one
another shows that the relationship that Annie and Hallie have at this point is on a more positive
note and is leaning towards a healthier relationship overall.
Vulnerability in the Relationship
I recognized the practice of vulnerability in Annie and Hallie’s relationship during two
scenes of the film. The first scene took place in the camp when Hallie and Annie decided to
accept that they were twins and built a relationship. This shows vulnerability because the twins
were willing to do something where there are no guarantees: they were willing to invest in a
relationship that may have or may have not worked out. Vulnerability is the core of shame and
fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of
belonging, of love (Brown, 2010). Annie and Hallie allowed themselves to be vulnerable and
took a chance in building a meaningful relationship and as a result, they birthed a relationship
that (spoiler alert) would finally lead to their “happily ever after.”
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Another aspect of vulnerability is being able to have difficult conversations. The other
clear example depicted in the film is when Annie calls Hallie to inform her that their father is
engaged to the child-hating, gold digger Meredith Blake (Meyers, 1998). Adding information to
the pool of meaning can be quite difficult when the topic contains delicate, unattractive, or
controversial information (Patterson et al., 2011). Annie shared with Hallie that their dad was
engaged to Meredith Blake. Annie also asked Hallie how she was feeling and understood that the
information she shared with Hallie was very sensitive as Hallie grew up with her dad. Lastly,
Annie asked for Hallie’s help and admitted that she was “desperate” because things were not
going according to plan.
Annie and Hallie chose to let themselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen. They
chose to love and embrace one another with their whole hearts, even though there was no
guarantee that their relationship and plan would work out. Vulnerability strengthened the
relationship and in turn, it increased the healthiness of their relationship.
Influence in the Relationship
Like vulnerability, influence can also be a key ingredient in healthy, fulfilling
relationships. Studies show that when a partner, friend, or sibling is a positive influence on an
individual’s life, the relationship is more likely to last longer and have a positive impact on the
individual’s outlook on life (Swift, 2015).
Siblings’ extensive contact and companionship provide ample opportunity for them to
shape one another’s behavior and socioemotional development and adjustment (Mchale et al.,
2012). Annie and Hallie have a great influence on one another. One scene of the film where this
is evident is when the twins’ resort to a last-ditch effort, by demanding a three-day family
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camping trip, refusing to reveal which twin is which until after they return; Elizabeth tricks
Meredith into taking her place on the camping trip (Meyers, 1998). Most research on direct
sibling influences is grounded in developmental or social learning models, suggesting that, by
their everyday involvement, siblings can promote positive development as well as adjustment
problems.
Siblings hold the power to inspire as well as corrupt. The twins' influence on one another
shown in the film does both. Annie and Hallie push each other to be better, have a better life, and
reach their full potential throughout the film. Nonetheless, they also often come up with schemes
and pranks that get them in trouble and are not so constructive. Overall, the positive influences
outweigh the “bad” as pranks and schemes are 11-year-old sibling relationships.
Relationship 1 Conclusion
Overall, the relative health of Annie and Hallie’s relationship is of an ideal, fun, and
loving sibling relationship. They have strong communication skills, they were vulnerable, and
have relatively positive influences. To improve the relationship, it seemed as though reducing
any time spent apart (living together permanently) would improve the strength of the relationship
by allowing both parties to still be present for one another and get to know each other more.
Relationship 2: Nick and Elizabeth
Another important relationship of the film is the romantic relationship between Nick and
Elizabeth, Annie, and Hallie’s parents. The couple got married throughout a trip on "Queen
Elizabeth 2" during a transatlantic crossing. However, the couple got divorced after the birth of
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their twin daughters; Nick stayed in California raising Hallie and Elizabeth went to London to
raise Annie. After 11 years, the couple reunites and for the movie, their relationship “rekindles”.
Communication in the Relationship
An important theory learned this semester is The Ladder of Inference which lays out the
mental steps in our reasoning—from receiving data to concluding (Midgie, 2018). An example
of this theory first proposed by Chris Argyris is depicted in the scene when Hallie and Annie
recreate the night their parents met by renting out a yacht for an evening (Meyers, 1998). The
couple shares a romantic dinner and remembers the night that their relationship took the wrong
turn. Elizabeth explains to Nick that back then, they were both so you, and each had a temper.
She then proceeds to tell him that she got angry and said “stupid” things. So, she packed, booked
a plane ticket, and left. Yet, Nick did not come after her even though she assumed he would.
The loving relationship between Elizabeth and Nick changed forever in an instant.
Elizabeth went up The Ladder of Inference so fast to the point where there was no coming down.
She, as many of us often do, failed to take a moment to stop and consider her reasoning, identify
which step of the ladder she was in, question the choices she made to get there, consider the
facts, reach the right conclusion, and check her assumptions and interpretations before taking any
drastic action. Instead, the argument back then ended with Elizabeth throwing a hairdryer at
Nick's face and her getting in a plane back to London (drastic decision).
Although this is an example of how bad communication and bad judgment can damage a
loving, beautiful relationship; it is also an example that it is never too late to take a minute to
examine your decisions of the past and claim down The Ladder of Inference. In that scene, both,
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Elizabeth and Nick were able to look at the facts and come up with a new conclusion that
ultimately helped with the “rekindle” of their relationship.
Attraction in the Relationship
Attraction in a relationship is a very important component of love. Love has been
explained as a “motivation system, it’s a drive, it’s part of the reward system of the brain”
(Popova, 2015), rather than an emotion. The attraction between Nick and Elizabeth is very
evident throughout the movie; during that encounter, Elizabeth got anxious to see him again and
got drunk in the plane, and Nick got so nervous when he saw her that he fell in the pool.
Attraction is driven by high dopamine and norepinephrine levels and low serotonin, romantic or
passionate love, characterized by euphoria, focused attention, obsessive thinking, and intense
craving for the individual (2015).
Nick and Elizabeth’s level of attraction was so evident from the first moment they
reunited, 11 years after their divorce. Several researchers have also identified that regardless of
the personal level of attractiveness, or our partner's, as we get to know, like, and respect each
other more, our attraction naturally grows and deepens (Fugère, 2017). Nick was physically
attracted to both Elizabeth and Meredith. Nonetheless, the level of attraction, appreciation, and
deep connection that Nick and Elizabeth shared ultimately helped Nick realize that the loving,
healthy relationship that he could have with Elizabeth, did not compare to the superficial
relationship he had with Meredith.
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Vulnerability in the Relationship
Although communication and attraction are key, vulnerability is also regarded as a key
ingredient in healthy, fulfilling relationships because vulnerability is the driving force of
connection. Vulnerability is defined as an individual’s capacity of being physically or
emotionally wounded vulnerable or open to attack or damage (Wendler, 2017). It’s impossible to
connect without it.
One scene that shows complete vulnerability is when Elizabeth and Annie board a flight
for London, but when they arrive home, they find Nick and Hallie waiting for them (Meyers,
1998). Nick shows his vulnerable side and opens his heart to Elizabeth. Nick tells her that he is
not making the mistake of not going after her and proposed to Elizabeth. Nick demonstrates
vulnerability by expressing his emotions to Elizabeth, risking being exposed to the hurtful
feeling of rejection. However, Elizabeth also showed her vulnerable side. She tearfully expressed
her fear of not being able to make the relationship work and raise their daughters together but
despite her fears, she accepted. The couple shares a loving kiss and later in the credits, the
viewers can see the pictures of their second wedding aboard "Queen Elizabeth 2".
Nick and Elizabeth chose to let themselves be vulnerable. They chose to share their fears
and feelings, even though there was no guarantee that their feelings were reciprocated. That last
scene truly shows the maturity and health of Elizabeth and Nick’s relationship. Vulnerability
strengthened the relationship and in turn, allowed for the couple’s “happily ever after”.
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Relationship 2 Conclusion
Overall, the relative health of Elizabeth and Nick’s relationship is of an ideal, healthy,
and loving romantic relationship. They have strong communication skills, were vulnerable, and
have a good, healthy attraction for one another. They were able to overcome the troubles of their
past and grow personally and in their romantic relationship. To improve the relationship, it
seemed as though attending couples’ therapy would strengthen their relationship by allowing
both parties to learn from their past and start on a new canvas with the help of an expert.
Relationship 3: Nick and Meredith
Lastly, to understand what a healthy relationship looks like, one must also examine what
an dysfunctional relationship is like. The dysfunctional relationship of this story is the romantic
relationship between Nick and Meredith. Meredith is a 26-year-old publicist engaged to Nick and
the antagonist of the film The Parent Trap (1998). The relationship between the two is not only
unhealthy but also motivated by all the wrong reasons, especially money.
Communication in the Relationship
Psychologist John Gottman identified several destructive communication tactics. Some of
these include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, and belligerence (Gordon, 2020).
Nick and Meredith’s relationship seems to be unhealthy and in several scenes of the movie one
can detect some of Gottman’s tactics that interfere with their communication.
For instance, contempt, defensiveness, belligerence, and criticism is evidenced in the
scene of their breakup. Meredith, after waking up in the middle of the lake during their camping
trip, becomes enraged and demands Nick chooses between her and the twins (Meyers, 1998).
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During their argument, Meredith criticizes him and his daughters while also calling them names
such as “buddy” and “little brats”. She is bluntly disrespectful and projects a sense of
defensiveness and belligerence as she screams and pushes Nicks buttons, even suggesting she
plans to “ship the twins to Switzerland” after they get married. This argument untimely leads
Nick to finally see Meredith for who she truly is and chooses the twins, breaking off the
engagement.
The lack of truthful communication between Nick and Meredith throughout their
relationship leads to the undoing of their engagement. Couples that don't learn to consciously
communicate will face issues when it comes to intimacy, conflict, and relational growth
(Earnshaw, 2020). Nick and Meredith were often not truly communicating about important
things such as their mutual interest, motives for marrying, beliefs, and values. Their relationship
is a perfect example of a dysfunctional relationship that was never going to be successful, their
argument just sped up the inevitable and thankfully broke the engagement.
Integrity in the Relationship
Along with communication, the lack of integrity in Meredith and Nick’s relationship also
led to the undoing of their engagement. “Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on
values rather than personal gain” - Chris Karcher.
The integrity in Meredith and Nick’s relationship is nonexistent. As integrity is a personal
quality of fairness, no doubt, it affects the relationships of people. Lack of integrity simply
implies dishonesty or not being morally upright (Pace, 2018). Meredith and Nick had no
boundaries set. For example, Nick did not talk to Meredith clearly about some boundaries that
she should not have crossed. As a result, Meredith constantly would disrespect Nick, his house,
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and those whom he loved. Meredith would disregard the opinion of Nick’s daughters, she
threatened them multiple times, she also would change Nick’s appearance, she disrespected
Chessy (the nanny), and lastly, she never showed him her true intentions and her core values and
beliefs.
Integrity is one of the most important principles of leadership because it demands honesty
and truthfulness (Pace, 2018). Meredith and Nick’s relationship had no integrity, as a result, it
was never honest or truthful. Their relationship was very unhealthy, lacked boundaries, and was
built upon mere physical attraction.
Attraction in the Relationship
The attraction between Nick and Meredith is evident, to the point that, it is the only thing
keeping them together. The physical attraction that Nick feels towards Meredith blinds him and
prevents him from seeing Meredith how she truly is. Meredith’s young, beautiful appearance
traps them both into a relationship only rooted in lust–– driven by androgens and estrogens, the
craving for sexual gratification, and attraction–– driven by high dopamine and norepinephrine
levels and low serotonin (Popova, 2015).
A scene in the film that depicts this is during their camping trip when Nick had already
started to see Meredith’s true colors due to her frequent loss of temper every time the twins
would prank her (Meyers, 1998). Meredith gives Nick a passionate kiss on the front of Annie and
Hallie, to prove to them that the level of lust and physical attraction that Nick feels for her
surpasses their pranks and intentions of separating them. If Annie and Hallie had not taken
Meredith’s mattress to the middle of the lake, pushing Meredith to show her true self, Nick
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would have married a complete, yet beautiful stranger. Nick even tells Elizabeth “remind me to
thank them one day”.
The level of attraction of this relationship is completely different from the attraction
between Nick and Elizabeth. The attraction between Nick and Meredith was the only thing
keeping this dysfunctional relationship together, whereas the attraction between Nick and
Elizbeth strengthened their relationship and enhanced other good qualities that their relationship
possessed. This scene shows that attraction, although it is extremely important, is not the only
ingredient of a loving, beautiful, healthy relationship.
Relationship 3 Conclusion
Overall, the relative health of Meredith and Nick’s relationship is of a superficial,
dishonest, and controlling romantic relationship. They do not have communication skills,
integrity in their relationship, and many other factors that constitute a healthy, loving
relationship. They were not able to grow as a couple and rise above their troubles, as a result,
their engagement broke-off. I believe they were not a good fit and showed the viewers what an
unhealthy and dishonest relationship looks like. It is of extreme importance to portray this type
of relationships in the media to educate individuals about the warning signs of a dysfunctional
relationship and what not to look for.
Paper Conclusion
Walt Disney’s The Parent Trap is an all-time classic centered in the values of
communication, trust, perseverance, fun, and unity. I chose to evaluate the film because it depicts
several types of loving, healthy relationships such as familial, romantic, friendship, and
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professional relationships. The most important factor that stood out to me was that the film
portrayed not only the “perfect” side of each relationship but also the conflicts of each
relationship and how those were solved. To conclude, the core of healthy relationships is built on
respect, trust, safety, acceptance, freedom of choice, positive communication, and conflict
management, and fun despite challenges and conflicts (Murray, 2017). Walt Disney’s The Parent
Trap portrayed important aspects of healthy relationships in an honest, realistic, and fun way.
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References
Brown, R. (2010). The power of vulnerability. Retrieved from
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en
Earnshaw, E. (2020, February 22). How Lack of Communication Sneakily Ruins
Relationships. Retrieved from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14106/5communication-mistakes-that-kill-relationships.html
Fugère, M. A. (2017, January 5). Why Physical Attraction Matters, and When It Might Not.
Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-andmating/201701/why-physical-attraction-matters-and-when-it-might-not
Gordon, A. (2020, May 2). Communication: They Key to Healthy Relationships. Retrieved from
Power Point slide 19, HEAL 351 Week 10
Johnson, T. D. (2011, March 1). Healthy relationships lead to better lives. Retrieved from
http://thenationshealth.aphapublications.org/content/41/2/20
Mchale, S., Updegraff, K., & Whiteman, S. (2012). Sibling Relationships and Influences in
Childhood and Adolescence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(5), 913–930.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.01011.x
Meyers, N., Daniels, (Director), (1998, July 29). [film] Shyer, C., (Producer). The Parent Trap.
Walt Disney Pictures.
Midgie, L., Sean, W., & BillT, A. (2018). The Ladder of Inference: How to Avoid Jumping to
Conclusions. Retrieved from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm
Murray, C. E. (2017). Healthy relationships initiative. Retrieved from
http://www.guilfordhri.org/about-us/
Newman, M., & Roberts, N. (2013). Health and social relationships: the good, the bad, and the
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complicated. Washington, District of Columbia: American Psychological Association.
Pace, R. (2018, December 13). How Important Is Integrity in Relationships? Retrieved from
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/integrity-in-relationships/
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2011). Crucial conversations: Tools for
talking when stakes are high. 2nd edition. New York: McGraw-Hill
Peterson, R. (2009, May 1). Families First-Keys to Successful Family Functioning:
Communication. Retrieved from https://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-092/350-092.html
Popova, M. (2015, September 18). This Is Your Brain on Love. Retrieved from
https://www.brainpickings.org/2010/06/11/your-brain-on-love/
Wendler, D. (2017). A pragmatic analysis of vulnerability in clinical research. Bioethics, 31(7),
515–525. https://doi.org/10.1111/bioe.12367
HEAL 351 Media Evaluation Outline
Use APA Style for structuring and citing this paper (see Purdue OWL:
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style_guide/ge
neral_format.html).
Cover Page with your name
(Include this disclaimer on the bottom third of the page)
(centered)
Disclaimer
Since I am not a trained professional, my assessment should not be construed as a professional
opinion. I will be using the knowledge and experience I have developed in this class to evaluate
the relative health or dysfunction of these relationships and make recommendations for
improvement of each one.
Introduction
Identify the media you will be discussing.
Explain the nature of relationships using the class definition for healthy relationships and
insight you have gathered through the class.
Briefly describe an overview of the content and characters you will be describing.
Relationship 1
Identify and Explain the relationship (romantic, friendship, familial).
Describe the actions in the relationship that you will be using to discuss the
topics.
Identify Topic 1 (e.g., Communication)
Explain the topic based on how it pertains to our study of relationships.
Give an example from the media content that demonstrates the topic you
are explaining here.
Briefly remark about whether this example is one that is healthy or
dysfunctional to the relationship.
Identify Topic 2 (e.g., Fidelity and Integrity)
Explain the topic based on how it pertains to our study of relationships.
Give an example from the media content that demonstrates the topic you
are explaining here.
Briefly remark about whether this example is one that is healthy or
dysfunctional to the relationship.
Identify Topic 3 (e.g., Attraction and Influence)
Explain the topic based on how it pertains to our study of relationships.
Give an example from the media content that demonstrates the topic you
are explaining here.
Briefly remark about whether this example is one that is healthy or
dysfunctional to the relationship.
Relationship 1 Conclusion
Assess the relative health or dysfunction of this relationship based on what you have
learned in class.
Provide detailed recommendations for what this pair might do to improve the health of
their relationship.
Develop a concluding thought about this relationship.
Repeat for relationships 2 and 3. You can choose up to 5 relationships.
Paper Conclusion
Briefly review the media that you have just evaluated and explain why you chose it.
Identify what important factors stood out to you about the relationships in this media
selection.
Wrap up your paper as you see fit.
You must write this paper using this organizational tool unless you have previously
discussed it with your instructor.
**Important note: The topics listed above (communication, fidelity and integrity, attraction and
influence) are just examples. You can use any topics from the course that you would like. Let me
know if you have questions about this.
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