Description
Directions:
Step 1: First, please carefully review your Essay 2 prompt:
Step 2: By Friday at 11:59 pm, submit your rough draft of Essay 1.
You can copy paste it into the discussion board or (preferably) attach it as a file. You will click "Reply" and attach your draft in a similar way as you have done for discussions or annotation in the past.
Step 3: Check back in on Saturday morning. I will have matched you up with a partner (I will send out a partner list as an announcement). Once you see who your partner is, find his or her post, download the rough draft, and make as many helpful comments and suggestions on it as you can. You can use the insert comment function on word, or you can simply write your comments in red.
Step 4: Once you are done commenting, go onto the next page (add a new page to the writer's essay) and answer the following questions:
- Does the writer begin with a story? Is it an effective story? What details could the writer add to it?
- Does the writer have a clear thesis that makes some kind of argument about cultural borders and the way they help shape our identities?
- Does the writer have three main claims or points?
- Is each of the main claim or point supported by either personal experiences and/or cited sources (from class or from the writer's own research)? Is the support effective/convincing? Are there places where better support is needed?
- Does the writer have a conclude the script in a way that leaves you thinking/gives you a sense of finality?
- What would you say are the talk's greatest strengths? What did the writer do particularly well?
- What should the writer focus on most as they revise the the script? What can be most improved?
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Explanation & Answer
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Essay 1 Rough Draft
Student’s Name
Department, Institution
Instructor
Course Code
Due Date
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Diversity and Cultural Identities
People from different regions are shaped by their culture, which includes the language they
speak. Different languages promote a form of cultural difference, which can be seen as either
substantial or superficial. Despite being used as a tool to communicate, language has proven to
impact people's thoughts significantly. Languages shape our thoughts in that people who exhibit
different languages will think and describe things differently. This brings about the idea that
language shapes people's identities.
Cultural borders also impact our thoughts about ourselves and also the thoughts we tend to
form concerning ourselves. The effects of cultural borders include foregoing one's language and
learning other languages that promote smooth communication with people from other cultures.
For instance, according to Boroditsky (2018), the world contains different languages effectively
communicated from one person to another. Different things are expressed uniquely from one
language to another; thus, the varying expressions tend to shape different thoughts around our
minds, thus shaping people's thoughts.
According to Adichie (2009), a single story's ideology has been well explained through the
Ted talk she gives to her audience. Through her explanation, she describes how her upbringing
has also impacted her language formation and how this action shaped the ideal world of literature
according to her perception. A certain language is learned as the primary language; the
respective language defines the person's identities and impacts one's thoughts through the
cultural background. As Adichie describes her example, the languages she learned during her
childhood growth and words she read conformed in her mind and formed a stereotype of British
and American cultures.
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In comparison to the aforementioned sentiments, Munoz (2017) describes the concept of
leaving one's border at the Op-Ed. He describes the case whereby a foreigner travels to anew
land and meets new people and makes friends. However, new friends can not easily mention the
foreign name creates an environment of identity. The new friends cannot mention the foreigner's
name at ease due to the cultural difference that has shaped their language and made them possess
dominant thoughts and wordings.
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1. Does the writer begin with a story? Is it an effective story? What details could the writer
add to it?
The writer does not begin the essay with a story but a depiction of how our languages impact
our thoughts and how varying cultural backgrounds influence the way we think about ourselves.
The first paragraph is worth starting with since it brings out the sense of identity that everyone
posses...