cover letter and answer questions

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George Mason University

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For the first file which is 15.2 poor Cover letter Analyze each section of the following cover letter and list its weaknesses. Submit your list of weaknesses



For the second which is Student bad cover letter needs to read the qualifications listed on the internship posting, read the cover letter focusing on the main paragraph only (paragraph 2), and determine what is wrong with the main paragraph. 1. Answer the question...Why does this paragraph not work or fit the criteria that we have been talking about in the PowerPoint lessons on Cover Letter writing?


Also, I want you to look at his resume and determine what he actually should have focused on when he wrote the 2nd paragraph of his cover letter. 2. Revise the 2nd paragraph to focus on the transferable skills from the work experience on his resume as they relate to the qualifications listed on the posting. Make sure to not only list the transferable skill, but explain how he demonstrated that skill in his work experience.


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15.2 Document for Analysis: Poor Cover Letter The following cover letter accompanies Isabella Jimenez's résumé (Activity 15.1). Your Task. Analyze each section of the following cover letter and list its weaknesses. To Whom It May Concern: I saw your internship position yesterday and would like to apply right away. It would be so exiting to work for your esteemed firm! An internship would really give me much needed realworld experience and help my career. I have all the qualifications you require in your add and more. I am a junior at Colorado State University-Pueblo and an Accounting major (with a minor in Finance). Accounting and Finance are my passion and I want to become a CPA and a financial advisor. I have taken Intermediate I and II and now work as a financial advisor with Primerica Financial Services in Pueblo. I should also tell you that I was at Target for four years. I learned alot, but my heart is in accounting and finance. I am a team player, a born leader, motivated, reliable, and I show excellent composure in stressful situation, for example, when customers complain. I put myself through school and always carry at least 15 units while working part time. You will probably agree that I am a good candidate for your internship position, which should start July 1. I feel that my motivation, passion, and strong people skills will serve your company well. Sincerely, 2013-14: Sales & Marketing Internship - Springfield Falcons (Springfield, MA) The Springfield Falcons, The AHL affiliate of the Columbus Blue Jackets, are seeking passionate and positive people who are committed to becoming leaders in the business of professional sports. Career growth-oriented sports sales development program, which focuses on developing the skills needed to become an inside sales and customer service professional. Under the guidance of the Ticket Sales Department, the intent of this program is to expand the applicant’s abilities to a level that will merit consideration for a promotion to a full time position within the sports industry following successful completion of the program. You will be required to submit your availability ahead of time. Responsibilities: • Make outbound calls to assigned leads to sell upcoming events and ticket packages • Answer incoming single game calls with the ability to up-sell callers into packages, and groups • Ability to work office hours during the week plus all Falcons home games • Work all home games, plus additional nights, weekends and holidays outside of normal office hours, as assigned • Represent the organization at in-house events and off-site community events promoting tickets • Maintain computerized records of all ticket customers and prospects using our CRM data base Archtics • Provide unsurpassed customer service to prospects and current clients over the phone, in office and at games or other events • Assist customer service efforts (mailing invoices, tickets, etc…), and other office tasks • Help with planning and organizing various sales and marketing initiatives and programs • Attend weekly meetings and sales training/role-play sessions. • Other duties as assigned Qualifications: • At least one year of advanced education working towards a degree in Business, Sport Management, Marketing or related field. • Strong organizational and communication skills • Excellent customer service skills • Must be able to work a flexible schedule with long hours, which includes home games, nights, weekends and holidays as assigned • Desire to be a sales industry leader • Ability to work as a team player • Proficiency in basic computer software programs 3000 Landing Lane Moon Township, PA, 15108 412-555-5555 January 26, 2015 Josh Tannenbaum AHL Hockey Club Springfield Falcons 45 Falcons Way Springfield, MA 01103 Dear Mr. Tannenbaum, I am writing you to apply for your Sales and Marketing Internship Position. I found this position while looking at a list of AHL internships, and seemed like a perfect fit for me. Being a current Division 1 Ice Hockey player at ABC University, I have an extremely high level of hockey IQ and understand all aspects of the industry. I actually am fairly good friends with one of your current players, Mike Smith. The main reason I am interested in working for you is that I have a strong passion for the game, and I can’t see myself working in any other industry. My strong knowledge of the sport hopefully gives me an advantage over the competition for this internship. Though the Sales and Marketing Internship Position is a competitive job to acquire, I believe that my history playing the sport, as well as my desire to complete my Sports Management degree at ABC University helps myself rise above the competition for this internship. My goal is to work full-time for a professional hockey team, and I hope I can begin my journey to that goal is an intern for the prestigious Springfield Falcons hockey club. If you could refer to my resume (enclosed) you will see a summarization of my qualifications for the position. My work phone number is 412-555-5555 and my email is hockeyfam@gmail.com and I would love if we could connect for further conversation regarding the Sales and Marketing Internship Position. Thank you for reading and I hope to talk to you soon. Sincerely, Jack Smith Resume Enclosed Jack Smith 3000 Landing Lane Moon Township, PA 15108 (412)-555-5555 hockeyfan@mail.rmu.edu 45 Falcons Way Springfield, OH 01103 (999)- 739- 4625 Objective To obtain an internship in the Sport Management Field Education Robert Morris University, Moon Township, PA Bachelor of Science in Sport Management, May 2017 Experience Referee, June 2013- August 2013 Town Roller Hockey Assn., Mississauga, ON • Learned about controlling tense situations • Dealt with managing large-scale competition Goalie Instructor, May 2012- August 2012 Frank Canadian Goalie School, Toronto, ON • Taught goalies positioning and shot pucks on them • Used video programming to show goalies there play Assistant Hockey Coach, Sept. 2011- Mar. 2012 James Crothers Secondary School, Markham ON • Assisted in running practices, bench management • Helped design season schedule • Worked with Microsoft Office Activities RMU Division 1 Hockey Player, 2013Professional Roller Hockey Player- 2011- Computer Skills Adobe Photoshop, MS Word, PowerPoint, and Excel Achievements Atlantic Hockey All-Academic Team, 2014 Dean’s List (Spring 2014, Fall 2014)
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