Academy of Art University The direction of life Peer Reviews Evaluation Argument

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gboljke

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Academy of Art University

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*Those who did not submit their first draft must still do this peer review in order not to get an F in this assignment. Please remember that this is 20% of your total grade.

Nadia Budianto: Please review Ching An Yu's first draft.

Min Chung: Please review Toby Xu's first draft.

Nam Nguyen: Please review Peggy Lin's first draft.

Directions II: Go to Module 7 (Writing Assignment: Evaluation Argument First Draft), and download the first draft of your partner.

Directions III. Download LA207 Course Reader Chapter Eight (downloads section). You will need it as your reference when you answer Part I of the assignment about logical fallacies. Also, you may want to review past lessons and course readers as you answer Parts I, II, III, since they are all about logos, pathos, and ethos, which we have already covered in our class.

Directions IV: Use the following set of questions to help you write a thorough, critical, and useful review of another writer's Evaluation Argument. Please be specific when you write your review. Read the essay three times, and each time, try thinking about each of the parts below:

Part I: Logos

Is the argument clear and convincing? This includes the thesis statement, and the subpoints of the argument. Are there any logical fallacies, or parts that could be more logical?

Part II: Pathos

Is the writing powerful? Is the style academic/formal enough? Does the writer use techniques to get the reader’s interest? Are there any parts that are a little boring or could be more engaging?

Part III: Ethos

Is the writing grammatically correct? Are the sources that the writer uses credible, and does the writer use them correctly in the essay (MLA in-text citation & bibliography)?

NOTE: Post your review here for me to grade by clicking on Create New Post below. Please do not upload a Word Document or PDF file. When you create new post, type like this in the Subject: This peer review is for __________ (name of your partner). This assignment is posted public, so your partner can access your review.

Happy studies,

Glen

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Writing Assignment: Evaluation Argument First Draft Zixu Wang (Murphy) LA 207 02: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER April 6 , 2021 The direction of life Parents are the number one influence in a child's life. However, few studies provide direct evidence of the value transmission of children’s parents. But there is clear evidence that parents can and do affect children. In China, parents are the first teachers of their children. Usually, what kind of parents will teach what kind of children. Parents’ attitudes towards children, parental behavior and how parents educate their children all play a decisive role in the growth of children. In China, the attitude of parents to their children will largely determine the child's character. If the life of a pair of parents is very unsatisfactory, it is not a daily quarrel, or a cold war. In this state, the child is also in a state of forgotten, which will make the child unable to appreciate the warmth of the family. The sense of their own presence in this family. After such children grow up in such a family, they will have no yearning for marriage, parents, and family because they don’t have much warmth to the family, nor do they feel that family and marriage are warm and sacred. Yes, at the same time such children are prone to jealousy, emotional instability, poor self-control, and even misfortune. This will cause the child to dislike too much contact with others and cause withdrawn personality. There are also parents who pretend to be busy with work, or think that their children are behaved and unrestrained. Such children often play alone and do whatever they want. They are prone to form a passive personality of being free and indifferent, and because their children lack social experience. Once you encounter a bad person, it is easy to be deceived and embark on a criminal path. There is an old saying in China, "You can make a filial son with a stick, and you can't become a talent if you don't beat it." At the same time, there are many parents enveloping the feudal method, which imposes harsh measures on children. Although the wishes of the parents are good, this method of coercive violence not only fails to work, but also makes the child hostile towards the family, confronts the parents, forms a temperamental personality or excessive humiliation by the parents, which will hurt the child’s self-esteem. , Causing children to have an inferiority complex. Finally, the only child in China is very easy to be spoiled by parents. The result is that it is easy for children to develop dependence, difficult to leave their parents, lack of adaptability to the environment, and difficult to adapt to society in the future. Spoiling is also easy to develop into a passive personality such as spoiled arrogance, excessive desire, willfulness, self-centeredness and so on. To sum up, it can be seen that those children who grow up in an atmosphere lacking love in their families are full of picky, irony, and violence, and they hide invisible scars in their hearts, and they cannot make up for and repair their personality defects until they reach adulthood or even throughout their lives. And those children who grow up in love in a harmonious family are mostly self-confident and sunny, rarely go to extremes when encountering setbacks, and have a strong healing ability. Only a family that is democratic and harmonious and pays attention to educational methods can easily make children form hardworking, courageous, honest, confident, happy, and enterprising characters. At the same time, this is also an educational attitude that should be promoted in China. The behavior of parents in daily life will also determine the growth of a child. The behavior of parents will also affect the character and character of the child to a large extent. Parents, as the children’s first enlightenment teachers, if many of the parents’ behaviors are not regulated, but do whatever they want, such children are likely to be directly affected by bad influences, leading to many bad factors in their personality. The most intuitive thing is that when parents are solving problems, they can’t speak well and praise well, but always like to solve them with fists. Under the influence of this environment, children may directly choose to talk with fists in the future, or Some parents sound like they are arguing, even in public. Parents may think that there is no problem, but children can imitate their parents to speak loudly, and for a long time to develop the habit of speaking loudly and not paying attention to the occasion, it will also be annoying. At the same time, some parents like to watch TV, mobile phones and other technological products in front of their children, so their children are exposed to these technological products in advance, and are obsessed with these technological products. It will harm the child's health, and it will keep swearing and cause the child to be rejected by others. Children are a blank sheet of paper when they are young. They will imitate the way of speaking and behavior of adults. They will often deal with emotions and behaviors from their parents invisibly. If parents are always evasive and decadent when encountering things, The solution for children in the future is also timid and decadent, or when the parents are in a bad mood, they will vent their emotions in the form of violent anger. This will leave trauma to the child’s soul. In the same situation, the child will be angry. As a solution to things. So if parents are cheerful, their children will naturally become cheerful. In contrast, the parents are depressed, and the child's personality will be relatively depressed. Therefore, parents should pay attention to their daily behaviors. Parents' behavior determines the growth of a child. In China, parents always use their cognition to decide what is right or wrong for their children. Since ancient times, Chinese parents have attached great importance to the education of their children. The three-character classic says that "the son does not teach, the father's fault." And parents also hope that their child is a very capable person. However, some parents always think that their children are an excuse to force their worldviews and values ​into their children. Once they are disobedient, they will directly become orders, regardless of their inner thoughts. When a child is young, the child is in a learning process. In daily life, he doesn’t know how to express his thoughts and make his own decisions. The more adults force the child to make decisions, the less the child dared to express it. Become devoid of opinion. At the same time, children will feel that they are not respected, and their character will become rebellious or weak. This kind of education is most likely to have the following two situations. The first is that the child does not comply. He always resists, loses his temper with his parents, and has to push back no matter what the parents say, and at the same time, he will run away from home in anger with his parents, etc. . In this situation, parents often lose their tempers and conflict with their children. This family is like fighting every day. There is another, the child is really succumbing, and he listens to what you say. But this kind of obedience means that the child is afraid of his parents, and he listens to his parents in everything. Then after such a child grows up, one of the biggest shortcomings is that he has no initiative in doing things and is too obedient and obedient. He does not have his own thoughts or preferences, because his thoughts and preferences are all arranged by his parents. Once the parents who leave, he can choose his own affairs. He doesn't know how to choose and has no opinion, because he has always obeyed his parents since he was a child. In the future life, he will only listen to others and do things, without having his own life. Therefore, in daily life, parents should consider that the child is an independent individual. Parents can make requests in the process of disciplining their children, but they must pay attention to let the child make decisions as much as possible, and give the child sufficient feedback and such communication. , Tell the child what is right, what is wrong and how to improve it. This kind of education can cultivate the child into an independent individual with his own ideas. In short, parents are the first teachers of their children. Parents’ attitudes towards children, parental behavior and how parents educate their children will directly affect the children’s future life. Work Cited Behavior Genetics, Annual Review of Psychology, Vol. 51:1-27 (Volume publication date February 2000), https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.51.1.1 Child and Adolescent Health Measurement Initiative. (n.d.), National Survey of Children's Health: Parental stress, childhealthdata.org/browse/survey/results?q=2259&r=1 Parents are the #1 influence in their children's lives, by Abbie Vianes MPC POSTED BY DAVID GERSH ON MARCH 12, 2014, https://www.upliftfamilies.org/parents_1_influence How to establish the correct life orientation for children? , Piaoxiang Yijian 258, Release time: 20-03-16, 14:26, https://baijiahao.baidu.com/s?id=1661300861129482767&wfr=spider&for=pc LA207: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER Chapter Eight: Developing the evaluation Integrating Research We know that we need an MLA Works Cited list at the end of the essay to list the details of all the sources used, and we know that those sources must pass the CRAAP test: Current, Relevant, Authoritative, Accurate, and Purposeful (non-biased). But good writers need to do more than just list excellent sources at the end of an essay; they need to weave those sources and the information in them into their argument within the body of the essay. If a writer introduces a quotation, a statistic, or any other piece of data (sound, image, video, etc.), that writer must give credit to the person who created it. We use quotation marks to attribute words to someone else, and just like in our discussion of dialogue, we can use verbs like “said” or “stated” or “wrote” to introduce a quotation. If we use a famous name like Barack Obama, it’s likely not necessary to provide any other information, so our quote might like like this: Barack Obama said, “We are and always will be a nation of immigrants. We were strangers once too.” We might also use a different signal phrase to show who said something: According to President Obama, “The immigration issue is, I recognize, one that generates a lot of passion, but it does not make sense for us to want to push talent out.” Signal phrases can also include additional information if the source may be unfamiliar to the reader: Obama’s official Whitehouse photographer Pete Souza said, “My favorite photograph is the one I will take tomorrow.” And sometimes a source may not have a name at all: The mission of the National Endowment for the Arts is to “give Americans the opportunity to participate in the arts, exercise their imaginations, and develop their creative capacities.” LA207: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER MLA: In-Text Citation continued We’ve learned how to use signal phrases to introduce some research we want to show a reader, but it’s also possible to avoid using a signal phrase completely. Sometimes the research itself may be much more important than the name of the person who produced it. If we want to highlight the information or the publisher and not the writer, we can use what’s called parenthetical citation, which allows you to put just the last name of the source from a Works Cited list in parentheses at the end of the quote: “Quotation” (Name) For example: According to CNN, “Michelle Obama does not hold back in her criticism of President Donald Trump” (Mucha). And then on the final page of the essay, in the Works Cited list, we’d see the full MLA citation: Direct quotation is just one way that we integrate research into a formal academic argument. It may be the most common but there are instances where other techniques may be more appropriate: 1. Quotation 2. Paraphrase 3. Summary Quotation has obvious benefits. It lets us copy exactly what someone wrote or said. It’s efficient, accurate, and easy. However, there may be times when it’s a better idea to paraphrase someone’s words, which means to use your own words to convey the meaning of the original. You may want to simplify or clarify the message of the original. Use paraphrasing when you think you can say something in a more compelling or easier to understand way than the original writer. Mucha, Sarah, and Jeff Zeleny. “Michelle Obama Releases Closing Campaign Message Calling Trump’s Actions ‘Morally Wrong’ and ‘Racist’.” CNN, 6 Oct. 2020, www.cnn.com/2020/10/06/politics/ Writers use a summary when they want michelle-obama-vote-joe-biden-closingto shorten something down to its most message/index.html. Accessed 10 Oct. 2020. essential information. You might use this technique when you’ve read a long article This allows the reader to know very but you only want to present the overall quickly which source is used (Mucha) and findings or conclusions to your reader. All three techniques are vital to the argument and all three require citation. LA207: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER Example of integrated research The body paragraph on the right comes from a final draft of an evaluation argument in LA 207. Notice how the writer uses quotation, paraphrase, and summary to include research that strengthens the claim that embarassment or fear causes people to avoid mental health care. Every instance of research includes a signal phrase and/or citation that makes it clear whose ideas or words are being used. All of that research works together to elevate this claim above just a subjective opinion. It’s a claim supported by reasons and evidence. In other words, a persuasive and complete argument. The report from Peterson-Kaiser Health System Tracker shows that 10% of respondents who reported they are a family member didn’t receive needed mental health care because they were afraid or embarrassed to seek care. Mental or behavioral illnesses are often perceived by others as “acting weird”, “crazy” or “dramatic” due to their uniqueness. All of these words or phrases used to describe mental illnesses are derogatory as a result of stigma. Patrick W. Corrigan and Amy C. Watson form the University of Chicago Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation and Chicago Consortium Stigma Research categorize mental illness stigma into public stigma and self-stigma, both of them have the same three components: stereotype, prejudice, and discrimination. In the case of public stigma, the stereotype, which is the negative belief about a group, is the start of stigma. “Stereotypes are considered ‘social’ because they represent collectively agreed upon notions of groups of persons. They are ‘efficient’ because people can quickly generate impressions and expectations of individuals who belong to a stereotyped group” (Corrigan and Watson). For example, the thought that people with mental illnesses are dangerous. The stereotype is followed by prejudice, which leads people who agree that mentally ill people are dangerous to be afraid of them. LA207: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER An Introduction to Logical Fallacies The term logical fallacy simply means an error or mistake in logic, or to put it even more simply, a bad argument. Even with the best research and perfect grammar and style, every human might still be making a mistake with the basics of their argument. It takes a lot of practice to be able to see our own errors, and it’s usually in examining the mistakes of others that we can see some of our own logical shortcomings. Here are seven common examples: 1. Rationalization 2. Straw Man A straw man argument involves setting up a fake, extreme, even ridiculous version of the opponent’s argument that is easy to defeat. For example: Those left-wing liberals want everyone to just sit at home collecting free money from the government. You might also call this one “making excuses”. The rationalization fallacy allows or someone to give one reason or cause for something when the two are not actually Those right-wing conservatives want connected. For example: everyone who can’t work to starve to death I’m out of money, but I studied really hard this week, so it’s OK for me to go shopping. or My parent’s restaurant has terrible food and service, but I didn’t give them a 5-star Yelp review because they’re family. They’re a small business. They need the support. in the streets. LA207: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER Fallacies continued 3. False Analogy 5. Hasty Generalization This could also be called false comparison. While comparisons and analogies are often excellent ways to make an argument, sometimes things are just too different to believe there’s a relevant connection between them. For example: This is often referred to as jumping to conclusions, or simply stereotyping and prejudice. The fallacy occurs when we rush to big conclusions based on a small amount of evidence. For example: No one has a problem with me looking up some information while I’m doing my homework. Why shouldn’t I be able to look up information during my final exam? or Forcing people to register their cars with the government is like the Nazis forcing citizens to register their race or religion. It’s fascist. 4. Either-Or This fallacy is also sometimes called the false choice fallacy. The argument presents only two choices when in fact there may be many other options. For example: There are only two parties to vote for, so you might as well just choose one. or Either we ban fishing completely or there won’t be any more fish. That fine art class I took was so easy. That department must be the easiest in the school. or I’ve seen the same homeless guy outside my apartment sleeping in trash. All homeless people are disgusting. 6. Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc This is a long Latin phrase that essentially means just because something happened before doesn’t mean it caused something else. Or in other words, correlation does not equal causation. For example: I was wearing the same green hat when I found some money on the street twice last month. It’s my lucky hat. or Children with autism begin showing signs of it around the same time or just after receiving vaccines. We need to stop vaccinating our children. LA207: PERSUASION & ARGUMENT FOR THE MULTILINGUAL WRITER CHAPTER eight Writing Exercise Consider the logical fallacies discussed in this chapter (or you may choose to look up others online). Choose one, and write an example claim/argument that demonstrates the particular error in thinking. Make sure you write your own; do not copy someone else’s. Do not tell us which fallacy it is. If we have time in our next class, we will try to guess which fallacy you were demonstrating: Rationalization Straw Man False Analogy Either-Or Hasty Generalization Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc Some other common fallacies you may want to look up independently: Slippery Slope Ad Hominem Non Sequitur Oversimplification
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Running head: PEER REVIEWS EVALUATION ARGUMENT

Peer Reviews Evaluation Argument
Name
Institutional Affiliation

1

PEER REVIEWS EVALUATION ARGUMENT

2

Peer Reviews Evaluation Argument
The direction of life
The steered study is realistic, qualitative and phenomenological in design, exclusively
allowing the reader to understand and realize the purpose of the writing, very clear and
convincing. The article clearly defines the thesis which is aspects that impact kids’ life
experiences. It as well elucidates its purpose which is the direction of life. Finally, the writer was
not one sided she has ap...


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