Description
Hello. I got a 24/40 on one of my essays and i need it to be revised and polished up. I need a very high grade on this assignment. So please give it your best effort. Here is the outline for the essay in case you need it: Exemplification Notes:
At this point, you should have read through the module on exemplification found on our Canvas class site. This is the type of writing that each of you has been doing since middle school -- making a statement of some kind and backing it up with examples.
Here are some general notes, followed by some writing suggestions.
Overall Purpose:
- To make an assertion and support it (back it up) with examples and explanations.
Specific Uses:
- To inform, educate and explain.
- To entertain.
- To argue.
- To clarify.
- To define.
- To compare or contrast.
- To show cause and effects.
How to do it:
- Figure out your purpose and audience – these two items always determine what you say and how you say it.
- Generate examples.
- Select the examples you’re going to use, because you cannot use everything.
- Organize your examples in a sensible manner.
- Begin writing.
Examples must be:
- Accurate.
- Relevant.
- Interesting.
- Specific and precise and concrete.
- Explained or interpreted.
- Cited if referring to an outside source.
- Supportive, not contradictory. They must support their respective topic sentences which, in turn, support the thesis statement
- Representative.
Types of examples:
- Personal experiences or observations.
- Anecdotes.
- Names of people, products, or places.
- References to authority (expert opinions or an authoritative document).
- Typical (an actual event that occurred but not to you or anyone you know).
- Hypothetical (realistic but invented). Can you imagine what it would be like to…
- Generalized (a combination of typical events). All of us at one point have…
- Extended (thoroughly developed with many details).
Types of organization patterns:
- Spatial.
- Chronological
- Emphatic.
- M-W-S (moderate then weakest then strongest)
Be aware of:
- What your audience knows and does not know.
- Jargon or specialized language.
- Transitions between ideas (within sentences, between sentences, and between paragraphs).
- Balance – generally speaking, all of your examples should carry equal weight.
- Outside sources, such as quotations, cannot simply be “dropped” onto your page. You absolutely must explain your examples or they become, essentially, useless.
Some things to think about:
- Each essay begins with a thesis and then proceeds to prove that thesis by using a series of examples that flow together in a logical pattern.
- The thesis must be explicitly stated and easily identified by the reader.
- The examples chosen may be serious or humorous, but they must be well organized, detailed, and descriptive.
- All examples must be explained.
- When using an outside sources, they must all be properly cited.
- The example may tell a story but the main purpose is not to tell a story. Instead, it is to explain and/or convince the reader of the proposition (thesis) introduced at the beginning of the essay.
- Clarity and organization are essential. This type of essay is extremely organized:
- Each example within a paragraph supports that paragraph’s topic sentence.
- Each topic sentence supports the overall thesis of the essay.
Assignment:
Please write an exemplification essay,
- double-spaced, 12-point font (easy to read, please)
- 5-7 pages in length
- plus a Works Cited page,
- and an outline (submitted as a separate assignment on Canvas)
- following MLA guidelines
- including at least three or more citations
- one citation should reference our text
- one citation should reference class handouts (or handouts/reference found on our class's Canvas site)
- one or more should come from your own research
- that responds to (explains) one of the following topics:
- How robots currently affect the American economy OR will affect the American economy in the future
- How robots currently function as human companions OR may function as human companions in the future
- How robots are changing machine-human relationships on a societal/cultural level in America
- How robots are changing OR may change the definition of what is human
Please be aware that all of these are very, very broad topics. You will need to narrow the focus of your essay quite a bit in order to write such a short essay. These are just topics. You need to refine them in order to come up with a workable thesis. Also, you will need to site evidence to support your thesis and arrive at a reasonable conclusion.
NOTE: Sources such as spark notes, monkey notes, shmoop, e-notes, wikipedia, and other essay-helping sites are simply not acceptable. Your grade on an assignment will be drastically reduced if you provide evidence from these types of sites.
Rubric
MC Exemplification Essay Rubric
Criteria | Ratings | Pts | |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeThesis |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeOrganization |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeDevelopment |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeInformation Literacy |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeCommentary |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeStandard Written English |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeMLA: Quotations |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeMLA: Citations |
| 5.0 pts | |||||
Total Points: 40.0 |
**ALSO** here are the teachers comments about my first essay submission:
Avoid announcements such as "this paper sets out..." Remember to explain and interpret your quotations/paraphrases so they are understandable and relate to your thesis. | Brian Yablon, Feb 25 at 7:07am |
You have quite a number of paraphrases here but many of them lack concrete, explanatory details. You need to explain what they mean and provide specific examples. Otherwise, the paraphrases appear as filler. | Brian Yablon, Feb 25 at 7:08am |
This is very interesting but you must be aware o your audience. You have delved deeply into this field but you must explain your discoveries in such a way as they make sense to someone less familiar with the material. For each (or at least most) of your assertions, you need to provide a concrete detail/example. Do not assume that your reader will understand or interpret your sources the way you do. |
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Explanation & Answer
Hello again!Please go through it and let me know if anything needs editing. Hope you like it!
Ankri, Mai
Section # 31171
English 101
2/6/17
How Robots Will Affect the American Economy in the Future
As technology continues its accelerated growth, it is entirely reasonable to believe that
humans should expect dramatic changes in decades to come. Most people seem to have taken the
rapid advancement of technology for granted, especially when it relates to the products and
services that it provides us (Asimov). That is to say that we have gotten comfortable with the
current rate of expansion and the results it yields, one that is often favorable to us. Still, people fail
to recognize the scope of these changes, and the possibilities they bring. At its constant rate of
growth, technology has begun to bear an impact on the economy and society while humanity
remains in denial of this fact (Asimov).
Though most people cast doubt on the possibility of robots having a heavy impact on the future,
with every passing day, this becomes more plausible. If this were to occur, the labor market would
undergo a drastic shift as it contemplates whether or not robots could take over most of the
operations that could otherwise be done by a person. The impacts of such an occurrence could be
both intermediate and long-term in their reach. For example, the world has recently been treated
to some exciting and captivating headlines regarding driverless cars (Negroni, 1). These machines
have proved themselves to be more capable than their human counterparts. Alone, self-driving cars
are simply ingenious and creative developments of the human mind. As part of a trend, however,
advancements like this only show how evident it is that the human populace is bracing for tough
times ahead (Gans, 173). A fundamental shift in the performance of tasks might be in our near
future.
Some experts argue that jobs already disappear at a higher rate than they are created. This is a trend
that rises as a result of technological advancement (Asimov). If this continues, an inevitable
increase in wealth will be created through social instability and inequality. There are too many
workers without well-paying jobs that fit their skillset, as they have been replaced, directly or
indirectly, by the machines and servi...