Abortion Rights, writing assignment help

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Question Description

This is the critque from the professor:


I evaluate draft 3.1 not on grammar, typos, or even awkward phrasing, although I may list that in your individual draft feedback in the main menu in the interactive web. What I’m looking for is a clear statement of the “stakeholders” that you find in your current issue. In many cases, this will be politicians and political parties, but in some cases it is simply those who benefit from the crisis and to some degree support it, and those who do not benefit and are opposing, or at least oppose measures that might relieve the crisis. So we’re talking about “interest groups” that compete with each other and are either causing the crisis or mitigating it. Remember that you are not supposed to argue, but are supposed to present well researched analysis of all sides. I may have highlighted or commented on your text, so be sure to look at it in Blackboard.

The most important sentence is your first sentence, and the most important paragraph is your first paragraph. You want to avoid what I call “fluff” in that first sentence, which is a general, philosophical, open-ended comment that neither startles the reader nor provides the reader new information. You want to make the reader think that he or she is going to read something unusual and informing in the rest of the document, and a weak first sentence in a weak first paragraph doesn’t do that. In addition, you want to tell the reader “what/why,” or what it is you’re going to be writing about and why you are writing it. There is absolutely no need to tell your college-educated reader that abortion is when a woman decides to terminate her pregnancy. He should take that sentence out, and I see no reason to include the second sentence either. You should start with the third sentence, but provide some dramatic data that indicates how many abortions are performed each year. The number is quite high and would certainly generate the interest of the reader. In any case, it's wrong to say "some people feel that abortion should be made legal," and should be phrased "a majority of Americans believe that abortion should continue to be legal." Then provide that statistic. You make the claim that "the majority of Americans feel that life is sacred and that people should not be granted the right to abort, but from everything I read that simply not true. Research that statement.

I’m not even sure that you can say that Donald Trump believes that "abortion should be banned completely," depending upon what you mean by "completely." My understanding is that Trump would accept abortion in the cases of rape and incest, so that's not "completely." Again, research what it is you're saying, and don't simply speculate. I don't think Jelen is saying what you think he is saying. Be sure that you quote these very controversial statements so I can check the sources. The polls that I have read say that a majority of Americans in the majority of American women support the right to an abortion. If you have contrary information, you need to quote it so the reader can check your sources.

For this class, I strongly encourage students to use quotations and not summary or paraphrase when they use sourced research. Quotations are much more easily tracked down and validated than is summary or paraphrase. Later on in your academic career, your teachers will want you to use intelligent summary and paraphrase, but for this class I would much prefer quotations.

I hope what you don't carry over into your draft 3.2 are these speculations you are making about what people believe. You really can make decisions about what politicians are doing or what "most women" believe unless you provide specific quotations and specific data from research material. When I look at that Jelen work cited entry, I see something called "U. A.: Praeger, 2015," and I wonder what that is. Your works cited does not correctly identify this article: if it is a print publication, then you have to identify the publisher, the publisher city, and you don't make clear what the real publisher is.

Also you say "the church is strongly opposed to abortion," but you don't say which church. There are Christian denominations that are not opposed to abortion. So this is a problem, you are making statements that I cannot check your sources for and in many cases are simply speculations. I hope you improve this process in your draft 3.2. It is very important that your teacher can find the sources that you have named in check the information you are deriving from them. Much of what you say in this draft does not jibe with my understanding of recent polls and trends. I strongly suggest that you use reliable research from our university library database, academic search complete or other databases, so that I can check how your information fits your sources.


Requirements for 3.2. Below I attached 3.1 add 400 words and revise according to teachers reccomendations.


Length800 words
Works Cited5 Items Required, MLA
DueTue, March 28
Turned in where?Blackboard and Interactive Web

For Draft 3.2 revise parts of Draft 3.1 that I have recommended and (maybe) your peers have suggested, include 5 citations in MLA Works Cited format, and increase to 800 words. You may use 3 Works Cited items from your previous essay cycles, but the information and quotations you employ in your text should be new.

Draft 3.1 was a "brainstorming draft", but Draft 3.2 is "structuring draft". You will be revising portions of your Draft 3.1 and increasing it to 800 words for your Draft 3.2. Your 800 words should include what I call a "Points and Particulars" structure. You should present at least three or four major points, and each Point should be supported by at least one Particular. The Points should be the main ideas, and the Particulars should be the quotes, data, statistics, or facts that back up each idea.

Unformatted Attachment Preview

Name 1 Name: Kenora Adams Professor: Kemp Course: Freshmen Writing Date: March 18, 2017 Abortion Rights Abortion happens when a woman decides to terminate her pregnancy. In most instances, the practice of abortion happens in the first twenty-eight days of the pregnancy (Luker 118). The issue of abortion is one that has been of concern in the United States and has raised the concern from many people. Abortion has even taken center stage in the politics of the United States. Some people feel that abortion should be made legal and that some funds from the states should be set aside to assist those who wish to procure abortion so that they can have it through means that are not harmful to their health and their lives (Craig and David 189). However, a majority of the Americans feel that life is sacred and that people should not be granted the right to abort. A great example of a politician who feels that abortion should be banned completely is the current president of the United States, Donald Trump. Even if the issues on abortion mainly concerns women, a majority of them feel that it is wrong and should be prohibited in all the states (Jelen 168). Additionally, politicians who have the interest in the women in America and those like to show their interest in women restrict the rights to abortion in their jurisdictions using all means at their disposal. The church is also strongly opposed to abortion and fights the same using all means. The church has come out in the public to condemn abortion and the use of contraceptives since they Name 2 feel it is also a form of abortion. This is an issue that has created loggerheads between the church and some Christians who feel that the issue should be a personal decision. They feel that the practice should be allowed and the rights should be given to them without any kind of discrimination. During the eighteenth century until the year 1880, women had the right to abort. The practice was considered as being legal under the common law and many people practiced it. This, however, changed in the late nineteenth century and would only be allowed when the pregnancy was seen to be a danger to the life of the mother. This is an issue used by politicians to win votes from people, especially those who are pro-life (Segers and Timothy 127). The concern is, however, not aimed at solving the problem that people have in the society, the main aim is usually to get elected to the office. Name 3 Works Cited Craig, Barbara H, and David M. O'Brien. Abortion and American Politics. Chatham, NJ: Chatham House Publ, 2013. Print. Jelen, Ted G. Perspectives on the Politics of Abortion. Westport, Conn. [u.a.: Praeger, 2015. Print. Luker, Kristin. Abortion and the Politics of Motherhood. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2012. Internet resource. Segers, Mary C, and Timothy A. Byrnes. Abortion Politics in American States. Armonk, N.Y: M.E. Sharpe, 2015. Internet resource. ...
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Tutor Answer

drcroals
School: Boston College

Hey, here is the complete paper. :-)

Name 1
Name: Kenora Adams
Professor: Kemp
Course: Freshmen Writing
Date: March 18, 2017
Abortion Rights
The issue of abortion is one that has been of concern in the United States for a long time
now. Many members of the community have in the past conflicted due to their positions on being
either pro or anti-abortion. After the 1973 decision by Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade, the issue
got worse since abortion was legalized nationwide in the United States. Abortion has even taken
center stage in the politics of the United States. Some people feel that abortion should be made
legal and that some funds from the states should be set aside to assist those who wish to procure
abortion so that they can have it through means that are not harmful to their health and their lives
(Craig and David 189). However, there are others who feel that it should not be legalized.
From a legal point of view, the 1976 ruling by the Supreme Court in the United States
changed the game for both the pro and anti-abortion persons and bodies. It was ruled in Roe v.
Wade that a “a woman’s decision to have an abortion in the first trimester of pregnancy should
be exclusively between herself and her ...

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Anonymous
Excellent job

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