final draft: personnal essay

timer Asked: Apr 10th, 2017
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Question Description

This week, you will complete this draft and turn in your final Personal Essay. Please be sure to read and review the “Example Personal Essay” document before beginning your final draft for more guidance on writing a descriptive essay.Be sure to utilize one of the writing patterns described in Chapter 6. The Personal Essay must be at least 1000 words (excluding the title page). Review the Example Personal Essay.

Your essay must include

  • A clear thesis statement in the introductory paragraph.
  • Specific details about the person, place, object, or event so that readers can visualize the subject and/or feel present in the story (i.e., your essay should be specific and appeal to the five senses).
  • A concluding paragraph.

Attach is a draft with an outline to continue from. Please feel free to revised any previous paragraph.

make sure to

  • Proofread your work for errors in grammar, mechanics, and style.
  • Check that the essay is at least 1000 words.
  • Use the “APA Template” handout provided to format your essay.
  • Include a title page with the following:
    • Title of paper
    • Student’s name
    • Course name and number
    • Instructor’s name
    • Date submitted
  • Begin the essay with an introductory paragraph that has a succinct thesis statement.
  • Address the topic of the paper with critical thought.
  • End with a conclusion that reaffirms your thesis.
  • Format the essay according to APA style

Unformatted Attachment Preview

Running head: PERSONAL ESSAY 1 Personal Essay Shandalee Enriquez Ashford University Magdalena Sokolowski March 23, 2017 PERSONAL ESSAY 2 Outline I. II. Title: A Moment with a Special Meaning in My Life Introduction I was very happy after receiving admission letter to join Leads University. 1. Thesis I was admitted admission letter to join Leads University after passing high school examination. I was going to pursue nursing course was very happy with a lot of expectation from since I was the first born in my family. This was my dream course that I liked after death of my father who died from cancer. III. Body a. I got a scholarship from a non-governmental organization that paid my university fee. b. I made friendship with many students from different backgrounds. c. My friends changed my character and I used to go to night club regularly (Oxford Royal Academy, 2014). d. My performance dropped in year three though I changed later and complete my studies. e. My mother and family members attended my graduation. f. My name was not in graduation list during my graduation. IV. Conclusion a. Interacting with wrong friends in campus contributed to my failure. b. I failed due to exam irregularities (University Regulation Board, 2007). c. It was an embarrassing moment to my mother, family members and I. 2 PERSONAL ESSAY 3 Reference Oxford Royal Academy. (2014). Truth About University Life. Articles Journal, 57. University Regulation Board. (2007). National University Rules. Leads University Journal, 6778. 3 PERSONAL ESSAY 4 A Moment with a Special Meaning in My Life I was the happiest person when I received admission letter to one of the major university in the country. It was obvious that my dream had been answered because after four years of hardworking and commitments in high school, I passed my exams and qualified to pursue degree in nursing. I read that letter with disbelief and I thanked God for answering my prayers. That was my dream career and I developed interest in it when I was still young after the death of my father who died from cancer. His death really hurts me something that pushed me towards a career of medicine so that I could help people suffering from cancer in future. To me this achievement was a special gift to my mother who had worked tirelessly to cater for my needs and school fees as well as my two siblings without help from somebody. I was the first born in a family of three and this great achievement help me to act as a role model to my younger siblings. My mother was working as casual worker in a nearby flower industry and she never secure a permanent job. She invested the little income she was receiving in us to make sure that we are living better life and we get access to better education. After the impressive performance in high school, luck and success followed since I secured a scholarship from a non-governmental organization that was to pay my college fees and to cater for all my needs. “You have been always a good child, my son, be careful with people whom you are going to interact with”. I remember the last advice that my mother gave me when I was leaving to college. It was 5th January, 2009 when I joined Leads University, school of medicine with a lot of expectation in my mind. Life was totally different in the university and like in high school, rules were not strict and everybody was living his or her own life. It was true that university is a universal 4 PERSONAL ESSAY 5 environment (Oxford Royal Academy, 2014). I was anxious to make friends at first and I felt that other people knew more than me or they are somehow better in making friends than me. Later, I was interacting with many students from different backgrounds who converted me into their behavior. We could not attend all classes especially on Fridays and we could rarely miss night clubs. My performance started dropping but the time I reached my final year, I realized where I come from and do away with those friends. My heart beats hard inside my chest as I was standing with my colleagues in a long line waiting eagerly for my name to be called. It was my graduation day and I knew that it was time to get my degree certificate. My two friends were also there though far from where I was standing. I looked around and saw my mother smiling with a lot of happiness in her face. Some of my family members were also around and they wave to me. The ceremony took time since it was a big university with large population of students who were graduating. Names were being called based on the courses and it finally reach to our course at around noon. I was very attentive but surprisingly, it was as if I was day dreaming because I never heard my name. My mother was also in disbelief and after following up, my dean explained to me that I had missed a continuous assessment test in my third year and therefore I could not graduate as per the university rules (University Regulation Board, 2007). I felt like crying but it was too late and that was the time I remembered my mother’s advice. I had missed that exam because I failed to attend class after drinking excess alcohol. I had to delay another one year before graduating and that day had a special meaning to me since it was a turning point to my life. 5 PERSONAL ESSAY 6 References Oxford Royal Academy. (2014). Truth About University Life. Articles Journal, 57. University Regulation Board. (2007). National University Rules. Leads University Journal, 6778. 6 ...
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Tutor Answer

School: Rice University

Hello, here is the completed assignment. Please review it and let me know if you need me to change anything, I will be more than happy to make any changes you need.


Running head: PERSONAL ESSAY

Personal Essay
Shandalee Enriquez
Ashford University
Magdalena Sokolowski
March 23, 2017

A Moment With A Special Meaning In My Life
After receiving my admissions letter to join Leads University I was extremely overjoyed.



I received my admissions letter after passing my my high school exams. I am the firstborn in my
family so my they were also very happy for me and had very high expectations for me. When I
was younger my father passed away due to cancer, because of this I decided to pursue a nursing
career. I felt drawn to working in the health sciences and being able to help others who were sick
like my father.
After being admitted I received a scholarship from a non-governmental organization and
with that scholarship I was able to pay my tuitions fee. This was a big relief for me and I felt a
huge weight taken off my shoulders because with my tuition being paid I could focus only on my
studies. Once university started I met a lot of new people, many from different backgrounds and
cultures. This was very exciting for my because I began to spend more time with friends and
their families, this allowed me to learn a lot about cultures that were different from mine.
After a few months at university and spending more and more time with my friends I
noticed I began to change. I noticed that my friends started to influence my lifestyle and not for
the better. They changed my character and I would go out to nightclubs regularly (Oxford Royal
Academy, 2014). I began to lose interest in school and because I went out so much my studying
habits decreased. Due to the fact that I would go out regularly and study less my performance
dropped in year three. This did not last very long, I decided to refocus my time and energy and
began studying more. I spent more time studying at the library and at home. When my friends
would tell me about going out, although difficult, I would say no and study. This helped me
better my grades and complete my studies.
For graduation my mother and the rest of my family members attended my graduation.



This was a very important moment for them and myself, it was the completion of 4 years of hard
work. Then the most unexpected thing occurred, my name was not on the graduation list. This
was a shock to me as I sat there waiting to hear my name called. It w...

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