I’m trying to learn for my class and I’m stuck. Can you help?
I am needing help with this please.
Below, are 15 poorly written sentences. Rewrite them to improve the word
choice, syntax, tone and mechanics of each. After each revised sentence, briefly
describe why the original sentence was not effective.
1. The supervisor had everyone to mutually cooperate together or someone would file a
lawsuit against the company.
2. Jennifer was able to take the promotion after it was offered to her based on her past experiences.
3. It is important that all men in our company feel a sense of pride.
4. Robert defiantly wanted to take advantage of the awesome responsibly assigned to him
to prove he was ready for a promotion.
5. The president of the company asked employees to reconsider his plan to make the
place better, but his request fell on deaf ears.
6. His accommodating style today is just the calm before the storm.
7. Mr. Reed went by train to travel from Chicago to Indianapolis.
8. The car was parked not far away.
9. The men and women that are members of the communication department hope to settle the conflict with the legal department so that isn’t an
amazingly long time before something gets done before the public notices the company is having internal problems that will impact them if the men and women of the committee to get this fixed soon.
10. Mr. Llbbins remains essentially unfathomable in regards his attitude about his
being fired, even though his sophomoric ways contributed to the event.
11. My boss knows that I will not forget to get all of the files taken care of, dress
inappropriately for the Christmas party, and ruin our reputation with the clients we invited.
12. All men in this office have weaknesses, including myself, more than I can count whether
they be serious or minor.
13. He gave an OK to spending the $32,000 figure for the car.
14. The envelp was placed by her with final payment in the drop box.
15. Our company should fair well in this years negotiations.