Analysis: 1. Your introduction is extremely repetitive. You basically just say "video games help kids learn math" over and over again. You need to use this space to introduce the reader to how the research conversation has changed over time. What have researchers learned about this topic that they did not know before? Have their methods for studying this topic changed? 2. You do not have a thesis that describes your research conversation. EVIDENCE : 1. YOUR FIRST PARAGRAPH CONTAINS NO DIRECT QUOTES AT ALL. A NUMBER OF THE QUOTES YOU HAVE DO NOT SUFFICIENTLY BACK UP THE CLAIM YOU ARE MAKING. HOW DID YOUR AUTHORS ARRIVE AT THEIR CONCLUSIONS? CAN YOU INCLUDE NUMERICAL DATA OR DESCRIPTIONS OF THE EXPERIMENTS THEY CONDUCTED? 2. MAKE SURE THAT YOU INCLUDE PROPER IN-TEXT CITATIONS WHEN YOU ARE PARAPHRASING KEY INFORMATION. 3. INTRODUCE YOUR AUTHORS! THE FIRST TIME YOU QUOTE OR PARAPHRASE AN AUTHOR, YOU SHOULD INCLUDE THEIR FULL NAME AND SOMETHING ABOUT WHY THEY ARE CREDIBLE. STYLE: 1. YOUR TITLE IS NOT CAPITALIZED PROPERLY. 2. YOU USE A LOT OF REPETITIVE LANGUAGE IN THIS ESSAY, ESPECIALLY IN THE INTRODUCTION. 3. YOU USE TOO MANY TRANSITION PHASES WITHIN PARAGRAPHS. 4. NO ANNOUNCEMENT USE (I.E. THIS ESSAY WILL...) OVER ALL COMMENT: THE BIGGEST ISSUE WITH YOUR PAPER IS THAT IT IS REALLY REPETITIVE. IT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO ARGUE THAT THERE IS NO CHANGE, BUT I DON'T BUY IT. VIDEO GAMES HAVE CHANGED A LOT SINCE 2000. MOST CLASSROOMS IN THE US DID NOT USE VIDEO GAMES IN 2000, OR IF THEY DID, THEY WERE VERY NEW. HOW HAS THE INTRODUCTION OF TABLETS CHANGED THINGS? 1. LESS REPETITION AND MORE DETAIL. CAN YOU PROVIDE BETTER EXPLAINED EXAMPLES OF HOW VIDEO GAMES HELP STUDENTS LEARN MATH? CAN YOU INCLUDE ANY DESCRIPTIONS OF EXPERIMENTS THAT BACK THIS UP? 2. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CLEAR THESIS STATEMENT AND TOPIC SENTENCES. 3. INTRODUCE YOUR AUTHORS AND MAKE SURE YOU QUOTE DIRECTLY IN EACH PARAGRAPH. 4. YOUR PARAGRAPHS COVER TOO MUCH DETAIL. BREAK THEM UP. Aldeij 1 Abdulrahman Aldeij Erika Staiger ENC 1101 6/18/17 Changes in Regards to The Use of Video Games For Learning Mathematics For the last decade, video games and other online based learning techniques have been used to foster understanding of mathematics among students. Several researchers have shown a keen interest in the use of video games to enhance the learning of mathematics as they argue that educational video games foster understanding of mathematical concepts among children. Video games constitute useful tools for mathematical education since they promote memory development, attention and cognitive skills among children. In this sense, video games provide an important platform for enhancing the learning of mathematical concepts among children. In essence, the use of video games is still relevant, and it has been coupled with other online based techniques to foster active learning and comprehension of mathematics among children. When video games are incorporated in the learning of mathematics, students tend to find learning more enjoyable as the video games tend to be exciting and full of fun. Between 2000 and 2010, computer games have been used more often as an educational tool for teaching math. Since the invention of computing technologies, computer games have been used to enhance learning among children. Computer games have been used to improve the comprehension ability of children as well as in improving memory and reasoning among children. Computer games have also been used to foster learning simulation of technical concepts of mathematics. Incorporation of such games has improved the students learning ability Aldeij 2 by motivating them to positively see the contribution of the integration of such techniques in the learning of mathematics. Researchers indicate that video games constitute powerful learning environments which primarily support active, experimental and problem-based-learning. On the same note, computer games provide immediate and contextualized feedback. It is for this reason that it has continued to be used for decades. Since the year 2000, much has not changed when it comes to the use of computer games to enhance the learning of mathematical concepts. One of the most important computer programs that have been used to improve the learning of mathematics is the MathQuest. This program enhances the comprehension and knowledge of mathematics among children in the form of games. “This game is planned to complement the teaching and learning process of primary students in the belief that it will give a better understanding of the topics covered in the curriculum” (Shafie et al., p.621). It is evident from this statement that computer games are complimenting the teaching of mathematics in classes today just as it used to be done a decade ago. There is also clear evidence that much has not changed when it comes to the use of video games to enhance the learning of mathematical concepts. Other empirical based research argues that video games present an experiential learning concept and theory that foster the effective development of mathematical skills. “In the experiential learning approach, educators purposefully engage with learners in a direct experience and focused reflection to increase knowledge, develop skills and clarify values” (Kebritchi et al., p.429). Incorporating computer games in the learning of mathematics, therefore, has been useful in developing the learning skills and abilities among children. Action video games have been seen as an effective way of improving attention capabilities among children. Attention is an essential element in enhancing the learning of mathematical concepts. The period between 2011 and 2017 are still marked by the use of video Aldeij 3 games as methods of improving learning of mathematics. Many scholars have conducted research in regards to the use of video games and there seem not to be any inconsistencies in the use of video games for the past decade. Although recent research indicates that not all video games can enhance skills that transfer from the actual act of video games to excellent mathematical skills, there is clear evidence that action video games are more effective in improving mathematical skills. “Games that fall into the Action Video Game (AVG) genre have been found to be the most beneficial for enhancing cognitive and perceptual skills” (Novak et al., p.124). Adequate comprehension of mathematics requires working memory, and video games provide the most efficient platforms for enhancing the development of memory and mathematical concepts. “Working memory is increasingly involved in mathematics problem solving as the numerical values within the problem grow larger and/, or the problem is more complex and requires a considerable number of steps to reach the solution” (Novak et al., p.125). Clear evidence, therefore, exists indicating that computer games enhances memory and foster the development of mathematical skills. Video games improve working and long-term memories, and there are no inconsistencies between the previous research done between the 2000 and 2010 as well as between the year 2011 and 2017. In this sense, “video games constitute useful tools, as children learn from an early age how to follow specific strategies to achieve their object” (Drigas et al., p.62). In conclusion, the use of video games is fundamental for the development of working and long-term memory. The working memory is required in enhancing mathematical skills while long-term memory is necessary for retaining useful concepts in mathematics. Several researchers have reached a similar conclusion that there is no inconsistency in the use of video games and other online-based learning techniques between the 2000 and 2010 as well as between the year Aldeij 4 2011 and 2017. In this case, therefore, it is evident video should be incorporated more in the learning process as they enhance the compression and learning abilities of children more specifically when it comes to the learning of mathematics. Aldeij 5 Work Cited Drigas, Athanasios, and Marios Pappas. "On line and other Game-Based Learning for Mathematics." iJOE 11.4 (2015): 62-67. Kebritchi, Mansureh, Atsusi Hirumi, and Haiyan Bai. "The effects of modern mathematics computer games on mathematics achievement and class motivation." Computers & education 55.2 (2010): 427-443. Novak, Elena, and Janet Tassell. "Using video game play to improve education-majors’ mathematical performance: An experimental study." Computers in Human Behavior 53 (2015): 124-130. Shafie, Afza, and Wan Fatimah Wan Ahmad. "Design and heuristic evaluation of mathQuest: a role-playing game for numbers." Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences 8 (2010): 620625. Aldeij 1 Abdulrahman Aldeij Erika Staiger ENC 1101 6/18/17 Changes in Regards to The Use of Video Games For Learning Mathematics For the last decade, video games and other online based learning techniques have been used to foster understanding of mathematics among students. Several researchers have shown a keen interest in the use of video games to enhance the learning of mathematics as they argue that educational video games foster understanding of mathematical concepts among children. Video games constitute useful tools for mathematical education since they promote memory development, attention and cognitive skills among children. In this sense, video games provide an important platform for enhancing the learning of mathematical concepts among children. In essence, the use of video games is still relevant, and it has been coupled with other online based techniques to foster active learning and comprehension of mathematics among children. When video games are incorporated in the learning of mathematics, students tend to find learning more enjoyable as the video games tend to be exciting and full of fun. Between 2000 and 2010, computer games have been used more often as an educational tool for teaching math. Since the invention of computing technologies, computer games have been used to enhance learning among children. Computer games have been used to improve the comprehension ability of children as well as in improving memory and reasoning among children. Computer games have also been used to foster learning simulation of technical concepts of mathematics. Incorporation of such games has improved the students learning ability Aldeij 2 by motivating them to positively see the contribution of the integration of such techniques in the learning of mathematics. Researchers indicate that video games constitute powerful learning environments which primarily support active, experimental and problem-based-learning. On the same note, computer games provide immediate and contextualized feedback. It is for this reason that it has continued to be used for decades. Since the year 2000, much has not changed when it comes to the use of computer games to enhance the learning of mathematical concepts. One of the most important computer programs that have been used to improve the learning of mathematics is the MathQuest. This program enhances the comprehension and knowledge of mathematics among children in the form of games. “This game is planned to complement the teaching and learning process of primary students in the belief that it will give a better understanding of the topics covered in the curriculum” (Shafie et al., p.621). It is evident from this statement that computer games are complimenting the teaching of mathematics in classes today just as it used to be done a decade ago. There is also clear evidence that much has not changed when it comes to the use of video games to enhance the learning of mathematical concepts. Other empirical based research argues that video games present an experiential learning concept and theory that foster the effective development of mathematical skills. “In the experiential learning approach, educators purposefully engage with learners in a direct experience and focused reflection to increase knowledge, develop skills and clarify values” (Kebritchi et al., p.429). Incorporating computer games in the learning of mathematics, therefore, has been useful in developing the learning skills and abilities among children. Action video games have been seen as an effective way of improving attention capabilities among children. Attention is an essential element in enhancing the learning of mathematical concepts. The period between 2011 and 2017 are still marked by the use of video Aldeij 3 games as methods of improving learning of mathematics. Many scholars have conducted research in regards to the use of video games and there seem not to be any inconsistencies in the use of video games for the past decade. Although recent research indicates that not all video games can enhance skills that transfer from the actual act of video games to excellent mathematical skills, there is clear evidence that action video games are more effective in improving mathematical skills. “Games that fall into the Action Video Game (AVG) genre have been found to be the most beneficial for enhancing cognitive and perceptual skills” (Novak et al., p.124). Adequate comprehension of mathematics requires working memory, and video games provide the most efficient platforms for enhancing the development of memory and mathematical concepts. “Working memory is increasingly involved in mathematics problem solving as the numerical values within the problem grow larger and/, or the problem is more complex and requires a considerable number of steps to reach the solution” (Novak et al., p.125). Clear evidence, therefore, exists indicating that computer games enhances memory and foster the development of mathematical skills. Video games improve working and long-term memories, and there are no inconsistencies between the previous research done between the 2000 and 2010 as well as between the year 2011 and 2017. In this sense, “video games constitute useful tools, as children learn from an early age how to follow specific strategies to achieve their object” (Drigas et al., p.62). In conclusion, the use of video games is fundamental for the development of working and long-term memory. The working memory is required in enhancing mathematical skills while long-term memory is necessary for retaining useful concepts in mathematics. Several researchers have reached a similar conclusion that there is no inconsistency in the use of video games and other online-based learning techniques between the 2000 and 2010 as well as between the year Aldeij 4 2011 and 2017. In this case, therefore, it is evident video should be incorporated more in the learning process as they enhance the compression and learning abilities of children more specifically when it comes to the learning of mathematics. Aldeij 5 Work Cited Drigas, Athanasios, and Marios Pappas. "On line and other Game-Based Learning for Mathematics." iJOE 11.4 (2015): 62-67. Kebritchi, Mansureh, Atsusi Hirumi, and Haiyan Bai. "The effects of modern mathematics computer games on mathematics achievement and class motivation." Computers & education 55.2 (2010): 427-443. Novak, Elena, and Janet Tassell. "Using video game play to improve education-majors’ mathematical performance: An experimental study." Computers in Human Behavior 53 (2015): 124-130. Shafie, Afza, and Wan Fatimah Wan Ahmad. "Design and heuristic evaluation of mathQuest: a role-playing game for numbers." Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences 8 (2010): 620625. Analysis: 1. Your introduction is extremely repetitive. You basically just say "video games help kids learn math" over and over again. You need to use this space to introduce the reader to how the research conversation has changed over time. What have researchers learned about this topic that they did not know before? Have their methods for studying this topic changed? 2. You do not have a thesis that describes your research conversation. EVIDENCE : 1. YOUR FIRST PARAGRAPH CONTAINS NO DIRECT QUOTES AT ALL. A NUMBER OF THE QUOTES YOU HAVE DO NOT SUFFICIENTLY BACK UP THE CLAIM YOU ARE MAKING. HOW DID YOUR AUTHORS ARRIVE AT THEIR CONCLUSIONS? CAN YOU INCLUDE NUMERICAL DATA OR DESCRIPTIONS OF THE EXPERIMENTS THEY CONDUCTED? 2. MAKE SURE THAT YOU INCLUDE PROPER IN-TEXT CITATIONS WHEN YOU ARE PARAPHRASING KEY INFORMATION. 3. INTRODUCE YOUR AUTHORS! THE FIRST TIME YOU QUOTE OR PARAPHRASE AN AUTHOR, YOU SHOULD INCLUDE THEIR FULL NAME AND SOMETHING ABOUT WHY THEY ARE CREDIBLE. STYLE: 1. YOUR TITLE IS NOT CAPITALIZED PROPERLY. 2. YOU USE A LOT OF REPETITIVE LANGUAGE IN THIS ESSAY, ESPECIALLY IN THE INTRODUCTION. 3. YOU USE TOO MANY TRANSITION PHASES WITHIN PARAGRAPHS. 4. NO ANNOUNCEMENT USE (I.E. THIS ESSAY WILL...) OVER ALL COMMENT: THE BIGGEST ISSUE WITH YOUR PAPER IS THAT IT IS REALLY REPETITIVE. IT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO ARGUE THAT THERE IS NO CHANGE, BUT I DON'T BUY IT. VIDEO GAMES HAVE CHANGED A LOT SINCE 2000. MOST CLASSROOMS IN THE US DID NOT USE VIDEO GAMES IN 2000, OR IF THEY DID, THEY WERE VERY NEW. HOW HAS THE INTRODUCTION OF TABLETS CHANGED THINGS? 1. LESS REPETITION AND MORE DETAIL. CAN YOU PROVIDE BETTER EXPLAINED EXAMPLES OF HOW VIDEO GAMES HELP STUDENTS LEARN MATH? CAN YOU INCLUDE ANY DESCRIPTIONS OF EXPERIMENTS THAT BACK THIS UP? 2. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CLEAR THESIS STATEMENT AND TOPIC SENTENCES. 3. INTRODUCE YOUR AUTHORS AND MAKE SURE YOU QUOTE DIRECTLY IN EACH PARAGRAPH. 4. YOUR PARAGRAPHS COVER TOO MUCH DETAIL. BREAK THEM UP.
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