Jan and Ken have been good friends for most of their
lives, but because of what she said last week, Ken believes Jan has betrayed
their friendship. Ken: Jan, we need to
talk. Why did you tell Shannon about what happened between Katie and me? You
know, [now] Shannon doesn’t want to talk to me.
Jan: Ken, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tell her. I just kind of slipped out
when we were talking. Ken: Sorry? Sorry
is not enough. I told you that in private, and you promised that you would keep
it just between you and me. Jan: Ken, I
told her that long before the two of you even started dating. You know, Shannon
and I, we have been friends for a long time. We were just talking about guys
and cheating and stuff; it wasn’t you specifically. Ken: Wasn’t about me? It was totally about
me. You had no right to tell anyone that under any circumstance. Now Shannon
doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’m a low-life who sleeps around. Jan: Well, I’m sorry, but the two of you
weren’t even dating yet. Ken: That’s
irrelevant. It would be irrelevant even if Shannon and I weren’t dating. The
point is I thought I could trust you and I could tell you anything and it would
go no further. Jan: Yeah? Like the time
I told you I was thinking about dropping out of school one semester and you
just happened to tell my Dad? Ken: Oh,
that’s not the same thing. Jan: You know
what? It’s exactly the same. I trusted you and you squealed. My Dad lit in to
me big time. He never should have known I was thinking about that. I trusted
you and you betrayed me.
Ken: Look, I was just trying to look out for you. I
thought you were making a big mistake and I was just trying to stop you. And
besides, you know I was right. Don’t change the subject here. Are you saying,
that you telling Shannon, what is this, some sort of payback for me telling your
Dad? Jan: No, I’m just trying to point
out that you’ve got no right to throw stones.
Ken: You know what? Then maybe neither one of us can trust the other.
Maybe we shouldn’t tell each other anything that we don’t want broadcast to the
world. Jan: Don’t be such a jerk. I’m
sorry, ok? Ken: It’s not good enough.
You ruined any chance I had with her.
are two nonverbal cues used by Jan? What are two nonverbal cues used by Ken? In
what ways did the nonverbal cues used by both Ken and Jan impact the message?
What are the verbal messages used by each? What contradictions occurred between
the nonverbal cues and the verbal message, and how did the contradictions
impact the interaction?
the nonverbal and verbal cues identified in the last question, what are the
roles that these play in the conflict? Do these cues lead to a more positive
outcome or negative? How can nonverbal and verbal cues be used to lead to a
more productive conflict resolution?