proof reading, edit, vocabulary, and grammar

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Question description

these 2 essays need correction an development in vocabulary, sentences, and grammar.

also,please rewrite the conclusion in a more professional way because professor told me that its weak, and needs to be morel developed.


first essay file name "ENGL 102synthesis"

2nd essay file name "final -"

- follow the map attached

proof reading, edit, vocabulary, and grammar
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proof reading, edit, vocabulary, and grammar
map_1of2.jpeg
proof reading, edit, vocabulary, and grammar
map_2of2.jpeg
Before I get in school I cannot understand the reason and types of photos were published in TV, and internet. My father is a professor in media and he explained to me that there are some articles may affect that catch people’s attention and there are a lot of articles focuses on results, and facts not words. Emotional pictures could affect people in the other side of the world. Social media is getting in every person holding a phone, so its more like daily routine use. Posting private self portraits to the public damages peoples lives when it get into people privacies; the consequences lead to a ending relationships, and also, it gives experiences. Both writers tried in their articles to give a message through the stories and the studies they are giving. Also the authors gave really important reasons that touch humans feelings. In the “The Photo Felt Around the World” is written by Joe Strupp. In April 1995, in Oklahoma City, a tragic bloody bombing; Charles H Porter took a picture of a firefighter doing his job and the photo spreads around the states (484-487). In the “What Your Selfies Say About You” by Peggy Drexler. A Texas mother, Kimberly Hall saw an underage girl posting her selfies online. And how self portraits could lead to a danger relationship (383-385). Evidence and context is circle of the articles and its not the same, and the clearer the more professional the article would be, and great evidence the easier it convinces. In the first article “What Your Selfie Say About You” the context kind of took a research and reflection style, like giving hints about relationships, personal life, and how a post would effect you personally. For instance, the writer brought a research to support his side, and also, shows peoples a reality involvement about the cases. “Saabeth” gave example of her personal experience, how did she got married and how her life is going (485). Moreover, it creates an antithesis for readers. on the one hand, the second article “A Photo Felt Around the World” Joe Strupp uses a method of facts and results for the audience. For example, Joe Strupp mentioned in the article that the photo he captured created a debates, and after that it became a viral picture which most news papers started to publish it around the states (484-487). Context of Joes article is more like a novel and actions. So here are the two types of contexts in the articles. Each writer has to provide an evidence and examples to convince the reader. Joe Strupp uses the newspapers actions as an evidence to support his point. For instance, “100 calls form people to about the kid’s situation” (486). And also, the reflections from the public are the same. “What Your Selfie Say About You” Peggy gives great evidences, like bringing families reflections, subject results, and studies about the issue (384). Yet, there are many differences between these two articles such as purpose, language, and audience. Every article has been written by an author should have a purpose to the readers. And when a writer wants to convince his audience, explain, or have a concept should be aware before starts writing his article. For example, in the first article “what selfie say about you” Peggy Drexler had a purpose which is to wake the parents up before they felt in mistakes (383-385). This purpose was mentioned in the whole article. For instance, the writer said, “and finally I realized, well, how can I expect others to pay attention to what is happening in my life” (385). In contrast, the second article, “The photo felt around The world” wrote by Joe Strupp had a different purpose than first article which creates an emotional words and facts to clarify his point to the reader. For example, in the article, “The Photo Felt Around The World” Joe Strupp talked about the purpose of his article; “Different newspapers discussed how they should use such an emotionally-charged picture, and after its publication, many readers called to ask what happened to the baby” (484-485). The point is the picture he took made a big change in his region. So, its like someone have something to say but he don’t have way to say it. Equally important, language is the chain of the article; it makes the reader follow point by point, when a reader gets in the article and feel it. The writer language made that well developed writing. In the first article, “What Your Selfie Say About You” the language of the author uses, is giving an examples and facts that could be suffers in your own family and you do not know. So the writer “Peggy Drexler” started the article with a really sensitive case “Teenage girls prone to taking and posting self-portraits on social media.” That language to the reader helped making him think of the picture was posted, so it is kind of great to get attention. And kept talking about the sequences, and the results. Also, before the article ended, Peggy brought a study research from U.K (383-385), to support her point. As well as, the second article “The Photo Felt Around The World” Joe S talks about a journalist story, who captured a photo and the photo used in a lot of newspapers around the states. Joe Strupp the author writes the article point by point. For example, each paragraph starts with once, then, ironically. So the point by point style has the same thing with the first article. “The Photo Felt Around the World” used an emotional language to support itself (484-487). And also, the “What Your Selfie Say About You” has the same technique of language storytelling; case and result, and action after action (383-385). Audience is the most important side of anything. Audience judge, think. Like , or dislike. So, there are articles is easy to understand, and some articles no one understands it but professors, and there are a lot of articles all ages feels easy to understand it. For example, Peggy Derxler starts her first three words “EARLIER THIS WEEK” (383) with a capital letter which makes it like an intro to novel or like a narrator. From my experience, these kind of starting articles or journals means that there is something massive behind it because it is not a story. Equally, Joe Strupp started his article with “Bank clerk Charles H. porter took a picture of a firefighter cradling a burned infant” (484). The audience got into the article feelings because of the hook of the writer. Audience always like facts and examples, when people started to call and ask for the baby’s situation, (486). Furthermore, the first article “What Your Selfie Say About You” audience could be more parents than all type of people, but the second article “The Photo Felt Around the World” all types of audience, not specific age or type of people. I prefer Both articles “The Photo Felt Around the World” by Joe Strupp and “What Your Selfie Say About You” by Peggy Drexler for many reasons; Joe Strupp uses a great language for readers. Also, “Peggy” uses the experiences as an element to describe her case. When I start to read I would like to know what is happening. Also, the first article “What your selfie Say about You” I can understand the plot for giving details, information, and reflections (383). Both articles were emotionally, and reality, and each article used a way of telling the points facts and examples. To sum up, Context and evidence should be more clear to the reader for feeling well convinced. Context gives readers needs and evidence holds the idea in reader’s head. both articles have similarities and differences, both articles have a reason, solving social issue, and also, shows how how emotions could cross the states. Language was used provides the elements of the author, Evidence, is the most important thing in the article to keep the idea stays in reader’s minds. My opinion the difference does not make the article better, but it makes each article easier and understandable. Joe and Peggy shows the readers how two different articles could have some similarities and differences. “Selfie and a picture” Othman alfulaij Professor Nassir ENGL 102-1 Paper #2 12-11-2017 work cited Drexler, Peggy, “What Your Selfie Say About You” in the Envision in Depth, Alfano, Christine L, and Alyssa J. O’Brien. Pearson, 2017: (383-385). Strupp, Joe, “The Photo Felt Around The World” in the Envision in Depth, Alfano, Christine L, and Alyssa J. O’Brien. Pearson, 2017: (484-487).
“ The Middle East “ Othman alfulaij ENGL 102 Dr. Nassir Paper #3 Final Introduction The Middle East is a transcontinental region centered on Western Asia. In addition, The Middle East is traditionally defined as the Fertile Crescent Also, the Middle East are countries are from Libya to Afghanistan, usually including Egypt, Sudan, Palestine, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Turkey, Iraq, Iran, and the Arab Gulf, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Oman, and Emirates and the other countries. Populations in the middle east follows several religions, but most religions are followed Islam, and Christianity. And because there are differences between the religion and history, so the political systems are different. For example, democracy, kingdom, republican, and more. Moreover, the Middle East is similarly disproportionately rich in gas which means more than 31% of the world output. Also, the middle East countries has a great amount of Oil natural source and specifically Saudi Arabia is the first country with Oil producing. Most people around the world think that multi religion, and natural resources are affecting the relationship and other thinks even there are differences in both political systems and religions are looking for peace in the Middle East. Is the United States are being the one of peace creators in the Middle East? According to Bending History is written by Martin S. Indyk, Kenneth G. Lieberthal and Michael E. O’Hanlon mentioned “Obama had criticized George W. Bush for only taking up the effort to make Middle East peace in the last year of his second term” Is the future of the middle east getting more conflict because of economy and religions, or the Middle East gets more developed by uniting, provides women’s rights, and develop their relationships. The Middle East, Why the Middle East is a conflict area? The Middle East area is getting more conflict for many reasons like religion disorder, economy interests from the western countries, and political system. Natural resources economy The natural resources are the main conflict in the Middle East, Oil, and Natural Gas are Concentrated in Middle East countries. In the past years a war has started in several countries just to takeover oil. In addition, most of the poor countries in the Middle East has oil but the US do not let them drill the ground. In the beginning of 1908 the first oil well drilled in Saudi Arabia, and it was the beginning of the development. Even if Saudi Arabia did not benefit the country at first, but in the date they found out about the oil. Saudi Arabia is the first and highest country in producing and selling oil to other countries. England and America knew about the oil before but did not mention it to the kingdom, until a god time for them. And the same thing for most of the countries. For example, the US according to Dying to forget, Irene L. Gendzier, Signs of a shift in the U.S. government’s support for partition had a severe impact on Zionist sentiment in the United States and in Palestine. Despite the effective mobilization of support for partition under the umbrella of the Zionist Emergency Council in the past, Zionist leaders in Palestine rapidly concluded that additional action was required. The results surpassed expectations: Washington did not abandon partition in favor of trusteeship. Jewish Agency representatives established relations with one of the leading figures in the vast oil bureaucracy, the director of the Oil and Gas Division of the Interior Department, thereby challenging a long-standing taboo. In the winter of 1948, the Jewish Agency mobilized its efforts to assess how to respond most effectively to the crisis in U.S. policy. Jacob Robinson, the legal adviser and counselor to the Israeli Delegation at the UN, warned that there was a related risk that could affect the future of American Zionists in the United States. Those identified with a cause viewed as inimical to U.S. interests, such as the feared loss of U.S. oil in the Middle East and its implications with regard to the European Recovery Plan, risked being labeled un-American, with the attendant stigma. So, the US is getting in every detail with businesses. For instance, back to 1990 When Kuwait got invaded by Saddam Hussain, and when the US offered Kuwait’s president a support; they put Saudi Arabia in the condition that they have to accept US business products and US business in Saudia. This example exposes how the scamper fabricate an issue to fit them selves into a business, or to create a conflict in a country to exploit other countries for their own businesses. on the other hand, maybe the Middle East countries monopolize the oil business around the world. In his journal, America, Oil, and War in the Middle East, Toby Craig Jones, exposes how natural sources are effecting the relationships between countries in the Middle East, back in the mid 1980s Kuwait requested a protection contract from the United States and the Soviet Union to protect themselves from the Iranian attack because of oil tankers (Jones). This shows how far businesses could lead relationships to a wars and blockade. Under these issues there is a point behind relationships, not because of natural sources lead to war, but also, different religions could be the same. Religion Religions in the Middle East are various and there are a lot of religious people stringent, so time by time each religion follow a path until it fell and got conflicted in the area, but Since Prophet Mohammed came to the world with his message of Islam, all people listened to him and follow his values, like good thinking, giving advices, being union, and a lot of his ethics. Going more deep, in Islam there are a conflicts between to Islam paths Shiaa and Suna. For instance, Bardaji mentioned in his article “The relations between Saudi Arabia and Iran have been conditioned by many factors, from the religious divide between Shia and Sunni interpretations of Islam to the regional role played by external forces, such as the US“ (Bardaji 87). The relationships between countries are pausing on account of the religion differences. Moreover, Christianity religion has the same values, but then, when the politics covered the religions, people and governments wants to protect their side from losing their businesses, so religions became the weak ring. In addition, the Middle East region of the world is a good example of why religious tolerance alone cannot and will not reduce religious-based conflict. Furthermore, even if there are some differences between religion beleifs, people can live and be flexible. In the book of Allah Quraan, “surat AlHujarat” “‫أَيُّ َها يَا‬ َ ‫عا َرفواُۚ َو‬ َ ُ‫م َوأن َثى‬ َّ َ ‫ذ‬ َ ‫ج‬ َ ‫ن لِ َت‬ َ ‫من‬ َ ‫ل شعوبًا َو‬ َ ‫أَ ْك َر‬ ُ‫الناس‬ ‫خلَ ْق َناكم إِنَّا‬ ُ‫ك‬ ُْ ‫ع ْل َناك‬ َُ ِ‫قبَائ‬ َُّ ِ‫م إ‬ ُْ ‫مك‬ ِ ‫ر‬ َ ‫ن أَ ْت‬ َ ‫ير‬ ِ َّ ُۚ‫م‬ َ ” (AlHujarat 515) and it means the َ َّ ُ‫علِيم‬ ُ‫عن َد‬ ُْ ‫قاك‬ َُّ ِ‫ّللاُ إ‬ ُ ‫خ ِب‬ ِ ُ‫ّللا‬ God created males and females and tribes to know each other and having peace. To the contrary, it gives the paramount support for the Center’s approach, going beyond tolerance to attack this problem. So, the world must go forward by, among other things, emphasizing education in the direction of teaching the value of finding and emphasizing those common threads of similarity of religions rather than emphasizing the differences – though they certainly exist. Religion plays a role in political decisionmaking in virtually all Middle Eastern countries, but in very different ways. Political system The political system in the middle east is based on religion, which is Islam. In some countries, which could give political influence to many different parties. In the book of War and State Building in the Middle East, Rolf Schwarz Demonstrates the state of the middle eastern region. Schwarz addresses the strength and weakness of government regimes. Natural resources are the main business material to power the government and push them into power; and also, natural resources guarantee the profit and raise the government central. As a result, there are a little reliance upon domestic taxation and general lack of political accountability and transparency (86). Politics is the power of the Middle East, and it also, creates issues and conflicts in some countries. The types of political systems in the middle east Conclusion To sum up, in the last 30 years the middle east is grasping more conflict in several ways, Religion, Businesses, and Political systems. Dealing with other regions on the other side of the world are affecting the Middle East regime by dismantling relations; and simplify the way for the westerns to get their commitments. Although there are a great amount of differences and conflicts the Middle East is being union in someway. Work cited Bardii, Rafael. “Religion, Power and Chaos in the Middle East.” European View, vol.15, no. 1, June 2016, 87-95. EBCOhost. GENDZIER, IRENE L. “The Oil Connection.” Dying to Forget: Oil, Power, Palestine, and the Foundations of U.S. Policy in the Middle East, Columbia University Press, 2015, pp. 91–112. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/10.7312/gend15288.9. Indyk, Martin S., et al. “MIDDLE EAST PEACEMAKING.” Bending History: Barack Obama's Foreign Policy, Brookings Institution Press, 2012, pp. 112–140. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/10.7864/j.ctt6wpd7w.7. Jones, Toby Craig. “America, Oil, and War in the Middle East.” Journal of American History, vol. 99, no. 1 June 2012, 208-218. EBCOhost Schwarz, Rolf. War And State Building In The Middle East. Gainesville: University Press of Florida, 2013. 86. Print. “Alhujarat”, AlQuraan. 515

Tutor Answer

Aljon2017
School: UT Austin

Hi, please disregard the previous files. Please see this one for the first essay :)

“ The Middle East “

Othman alfulaij
ENGL 102
Dr. Nassir
Paper #3 Final

Introduction
The Middle East is a transcontinental region centered on Western Asia. It is traditionally
defined as the Fertile Crescent. Some countries in the Middle East are Libya, Afghanistan, Egypt,
Sudan, Palestine, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Turkey, Iraq, Iran, and the Arab Gulf, Saudi Arabia,
Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Oman, and Emirates and others. People residing in the Middle East follow
different religions, but Islam and Christian are the predominantly followed beliefs. Because of the
huge difference between the predominant religions, there are also differences in the political and
government systems of each country. For instance, some countries follow a democratic form of
government while some have a monarchy or a republic type of government. In terms of resources,
the Middle East is disproportionately rich in gas providing more than 31% of the world output. In
addition to gas, oil is also abundant in the Middle East. One of the countries in the Middle East,
Saudi Arabia, is actually the first country in the world to produce oil.
Most people around the world think that having multiple religious beliefs, differences in
political system and form of government, and abundance in natural resources are affecting the
relationship of the countries in the Middle East. Some countries such as the United States think
that they need to intervene with the issues faced by Middle Eastern countries to attain peace in the
region. According to Bending History, written by Martin S. Indyk, Kenneth G. Lieberthal, and
Michael E. O’Hanlon, “Obama had criticized George W. Bush for only taking up the effort to
make Middle East peace in the last year of his second term”
The future of Middle East is getting more complex because of differences in economy and
belief system. However, there have also been positive developments other past few decades such
as the union of some countries, provision of women's rights, and improvement on the
communication of countries that were previously in conflict. There are still issues and conflicts

arising because of disorder in the religious beliefs system, political interests of Western countries,
and the forms of government of Middle Eastern countries.

Natural resources economy
The abundance of natural resources is one of the main sources of conflict in the
Middle East. These natural resources are oil and Natural Gas that are concentrated in Middle
Eastern countries. In the past years, wars have started in several countries just to reclaim the
territory of other countries to take over their oil. In addition, most of the poor countries in
the Middle East have oil but the US is not letting them drill the ground. It was in 1908 when
the first oil well was drilled in Saudi Arabia and this started the development in the oil
industry. Saudi Arabia is the first country in the world to produce and sell oil. It is also
currently the highest oil-producing and selling country. England and America knew about
the abundance of oil before but did not mention it to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, until it
was an opportune time for them. And this is how the US has been in other countries, as well.
For example, according to Dying to Forget, written by Irene L. Gendzier,
Signs of a shift in the U.S. government’s support for partition had a severe impact
on Zionist sentiment in the United States and in Palestine. Despite the effective
mobilization of support for partition under the umbrella of the Zionist Emergency Council
in the past, Zionist leaders in Palestine rapidly concluded that additional action was
required. The results surpassed expectations: Washington did not abandon partition in
favor of trusteeship. Jewish Agency representatives established relations with one of the
leading figures in the vast oil bureaucracy, the director of the Oil and Gas Division of the
Interior Department, thereby challenging a long-standing taboo. In the winter of 1948, the
Jewish Agency mobilized its efforts to assess how to respond most effectively to the crisis
in U.S. policy. Jacob Robinson, the legal advis...

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Anonymous
Goes above and beyond expectations !

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