Introductions from From Inquiry Essay

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Exercise #1:

Copy and paste your original and new introduction and conclusion to a new document so they look like the examples above. The key here is to consciously follow the pattern set out in the chapters.

  • Using one of the patterns from "Introductions from From Inquiry.pdf" handout, develop an idea and then draft a new introduction. Develop and include a title that reflects your introduction.
  • Using one of the patterns from "Conclusions From Inquiry to Academic Writing" handout, develop and then draft a new conclusion.
  • Incorporate new introduction and conclusion into your draft.
  • Original Introduction
  • Revised Introduction
  • riginal Conclusion
  • Revised Conclusion

Exercise #2:

  • In the same document as above, copy and paste one of your essay's body paragraphs into the box labeled "Body paragraph 1: Draft" and "Body paragraph 1: Revised" (see table below)
  • Following the instructions above, use repetition to move reader through the paragraph, making a reference back to a word or idea from the previous sentences.
  • Copy and paste revised paragraph back into your essay.
  • Continue this with your other paragraphs.

Use the concept in the video

  • Steps to Integrating a Quote

    1. Introduce quote, stating name of writer (or speaker) and establishing his or her credentials/credibility;
    2. Insert quote with documentation;
    1 Introduce quote:
    Delbanco, Columbia professor of American Studies, argues that college teaches people to see through propaganda by showing them
  • 2 Insert Quote
    "the difference between demagoguery and responsible arguments" (29).
  • Exercise #3

    After reviewing the information above and watching the video, go to each quote in your draft checking for the following in your introduction to the quote (called a "signal phrase"):
      1. Include author's name and credentials before the quote.
      2. Include a word to let reader know what you want them to focus on in the quote.
    Copy and paste before and after of two examples in the boxes below and submit with the rest of the work for the week.

Unformatted Attachment Preview

334 CHAPTER r I rnoiU INTRoDUCTIONS TO CONCLUSIONS: DRAFTING AN ESSAY 1 DRAFTING CONCLUSIONS In writing a conclusion to your essay, you are making a final appeal to your audience. You want to convince readers that what you have written is a relevant, meaningful interpretation of a shared issue. You also want to remind them that your argument is reasonable. Rather than summarize all of the points you've made in the essay-assume your readers have carefully read what you've written-pull together the key components of your argument in the service of answering the question "So what?" Establish why your argument is important: What will happen if things stay the same? What will happen if things change? How effective your conclusion is depends on whether or not readers feel that you have adequately addressed "So what?"-that you have made clear what is significant and of value. In building on the specific details of your argument, you can also place what you have written in a broader context. (What are the sociologi- cal implications of your argument? How far-reaching are they? Are there political implications? Economic implications?) Finally, explain again how your ideas contribute something new to the conversation by building on, extending, or even challenging what others have argued. In her concluding paragraph, Elizabeth Martinez brings together her main points, puts her essay in a broader context, indicates what's new in her argument, and answers the question "So what?": Accepting the implications of a different narrative could also shed light on today's struggles. In the affirmative-action struggle, for example, opponents have said that that policy is no longer needed because racism ended with the Civil Rights Movement. But if we look at slavery as a fundamental pillar ofthis nation, going back centuries, it becomes obvious that racism could not have been ended by thirty years of mild reforms. If we see how the myth of the frontier idealized the white male adventurer as the central hero of national history with the woman as sunbonneted helpmate, then we might better understand the dehumanized ways in which women have continued to be treated. A more truthful origin narrative could also help break down divisions among peoples of color by revealing common experiences and histories of cooperation. Let's examine this concluding paragraph: 1. Although Martinez refers back to important events and ideas she has discussed, she does not merely summarize. Instead, she suggests the implications of those important events and ideas in her first sentence (the topic sentence), which crystallizes the main point of her essay: Americans need a different origin narrative. 2. Then she puts those implications in the broader context of contemporary racial and gender issues. From Greene, Stuart, and April Lidinsky. From Inquiry to Academic Writing: A Text and Reader, Macmillian, 2018. DRAFTINGCONCLUSIONS 335 3. She signals what's new in her argument with the word if (if we look at slavety in a new way; if we look at the frontier myth in a new way). 4. Finally, her answers to why this issue matters culminate in the last sentence. This last sentence connects and extends the claim of her topic sentence, by asserting that a "more truthful origin narrative" could help heal divisions among peoples of color who have been misrepresented by the old origin myth. Clearly, she believes the implications of her argument matter: A new national identity has the potential to heal a country in crisis, a country on the verge of a "nervous breakdown" (para.4). Marlinez also does something else in the last sentence of the concluding paragraph: She looks to the future, suggesting what the future implications of her argument could be. Looking to the future is one of five strategies for shaping a conclusion. The others we discuss are echoing the introduction, chalienging the reader, posing questions, and concluding with a quotation. Each of these strategies appeals to readers in different ways; therefore, we suggest you try them all out in writing your own conclusions. Also, remember that some of these strategies can be combined. For example, you can write a conclusion that challenges readers, poses a question, looks to the future, and ends with a quotation. r Echo the Introduction Echoing the introduction in your conclusion helps readers come full circle. It helps them see how you have developed your idea from beginning to end. In the following example, the student writer begins with a voice speaking from behind an Islamic veil, revealing the ways that Western culture misunderstands the symbolic value of wearing the veil' The writer repeats this visual image in her conclusion, quoting from the Koran: "Speak to them from behind a curtain." Noticeihatthe Introduction: A voice from behind the shrouds of an Islamjc veil author begins with "a -ilir",ii"ntiti" exctaims: "I often wonder whether people see me as a radical, shroudaofanlslamic fundamentalist Mustim terrorjst packing an AK-47 assault rifLe -"-: veil" -:", andthen eohoes .-,,,-- :: tn ner lh6 quotacpn rnside myjean jacket. 0r maybe they see me as the poster girl for conciusion:"9peakto oppressed womanhood everywhere." In American cutture where themfro.mbehinda shametess pubLic exposure, particul.arly of femaLes, epitomizes curtain.' uttimate freedom, the head-to-toe covering of a Muslim woman seems inherentLy oppressive. Driven by an autonomous national attitude, the inhabitants of the "[and of the free" are quick to equate the vejL with indisputabLe persecution. Yet Muslim women reveal the enslaving hijab as a symbolic disptay of the Islamjc ideals - honor, modesty. and stability. Because of an unfair American assessment. the aura of hijab mystery cannot 336 CHAPTER il I FROM INTRODUCTIONS TO CONCLUSIONS: DRAFTING AN ESSAY be removed untiI the customs and ethics of Mus[im cuLture are genuine[y exptored. It is this form of enigmatic seclusion that forms the feminist controversy between Western [iberats, who perceive the vejl as an inhjbiting factor against free wit[, and Istamic disciptes, who conceptuatize the veiI as a sacred symboI of utmost mora[ity. ConcLusion: For those who improperlyjudge an atien religion, the veil becomes a symbol of oppression and devastation. instead of a representation of pride and piety. Despite Western images. the hijab is a daity revitatization and reminder of the Is[amic societaI and retigious idea[s, thereby uphotding the conduct and attitudes of the Muslim community. Americans share these idea[s yet fait to recognize them in the context of a different culture. By sincerety exploring the custom of Istamic veiting, one wj[[ realize the vital role the hijab ptays in shaping Mustim culture by sheltering women. and consequentty society, from the perils that erupt from indecency. The principtes implored in the Koran of modesty. Notice howthe conclusion echoesthe introduction in its referenceto a voice speaking from behind honor, and stabitity construct a unifying and moral view of the Istamic Middte Eastern society when property investigated. As it was transcribed from Attah, "Speak to them from behind a curtain. This is purer for your hearts and their hearts." a curtain. r Chqllenge the Reoder By issuing a challenge to your readers, you create a sense of urgency, provoking them to act to change the status quo. In this example, the student writer explains the unacceptable consequences of preventing young women fi om educating themselves about AIDS and the spread of a disease that has already reached epidemic proportions. The changes in AIDS education that I am suggesting are necessary and retatively simpte to make. Although the current curricutum in high schooI health ctasses is hetpful, and informative, it simpLy does not pertain to young women as much as it shoutd. AIDS Heretheauthor is kitLing women at an alarming rate, and many people do not citesafinalpieceof . research to emohasize tneexinttoftlhe problem. realize this. According to Daniet DeNoon, AIDS is one of the six teading causes of death among women aged 18 to 45, and women "bear the brunt of the worldwide AIDS epidemic." For this reason, Hereshebeginsher DeNoon argues, women are one of the most important new exolicit challenae to ,:;;;;;:;;:;;";; populations that are contractins HIV at a hish rate. I challenge theyhavetodoto young women to be more wetl-informed about AIDS and their P-':y:tl'-:1"!::,.* Ljnk to the disease; otherwise, many new cases may devetop. As their student6 from the epidemic continues to spread, women need to realize that infection. DRAFTINGCONCLUSIONS 337 they can stop the spread of the disease and protect themselves from infection and a number of retated comptications. It is the responsibitity of heatth educators to present this to young women and inform them of the powerful choices that they can make. r look to the Future Looking to the future is particularly relevant when you are asking readers to take action. To move readers to action, you must establish the persistence of a problem and the consequences of letting a situation continue unchanged. In the concluding paragraph below, the student author points out a number of things that teachers need to do to involve parents in their children's education. She identifies a range of options before identifying what she believes is perhaps the most important action teachers can take. First and foremost, teachers must recognize the ways in whjch some parents are positively contributing to their chjldren's The aecond through fifth sentences present an array of option6. academic endeavors. Teachers must recognize nontraditional methods of participation as legitimate and work toward supporting parents in these tasks. For instance, teachers might send home suggestions for locaI after-schooI tutoring programs. Teachers must atso try to make urban parents feel wetcome and respected in their schoo[. Teachers might ca[[ parents to ask their opinion about a cerlain difficutty their child is having, or invite them to talk about something of jnterest to them. One parent. for jnstance, spoke highLy of the previous superintendent who had let him use his work as a film producer to help with a show for students during homeroom. If teachers can develop jnnovative ways to utilize parents'talents and interests rather than just inviting them to be passively involved in an alreadyin-place curricu[um, more parents might respond. Perhaps, most important[y. if teachers want parents to be jnvolved in students' educations, they must make the parents feeI as though their opinions and concerns have real weight. When parents such as those jnterviewed for thjs study voice concerns and questions over lnthe lasttwo senten6es,the writer looks to the future with her their chjtd's progress, it is imperative that teachers acknowledge recommendations. and answer them. r Pose Questions Posing questions stimulates readers to think about the implications of your argument and to apply what you argue to other situations. This is the case in the following paragraph, in which the student r,'n'riter focuses on immigration and then shifts readers' attention to racism and the 338 CHAeTER I I I rnortt tNTRoDUcTIoNS To coNcLUStoNS: DRAFTING AN EssAY possibility of hate crimes. It's useful to extrapolate from your argument, to raise questions that test whether what you write can be applied to different situations. These questions can help readers understand what is at issue. ALso, my research may apply to a broader spectrum of sociotogicaL topics. There has been recent discussjon about the increasing trend of immigration. Much of thjs discussion has jnvotved the The first queation, djstribution of resources to immigrants. ShouLd immigrants have equaL access to certain economic and educational resources in America? The decision is split. But it wjtt be interesting to see how this debate wil.l play out. If immigrants are granted more Other apeculative queations follow from possible reaponses resources, wit[ certain Americans mobilize against the distrjbution to the writer's first of these resources? Wil[ we see another rise in racjst groups such question. as the Ku K[ux KLan jn order to prevent immigrants from obtaining more resources? My research can also be used to understand g[obal confl"ict or war. In genera[, groups mobiLize when thejr estabLished resources are threatened by an externaI force. Moreover. groups use framing processes to justify their colLective action to others. r Conclude with o Quototion A quotation can strengthen your argument, indicating that others in positions of power and authority support your stance. A quotation also can add poignancy to your argument, as it does in the following excerpt, in which the quotation amplifies the idea that people use Barbie to advance their own interests. The question sti[[ remajns, what does Barbie mean? Is she the spokeswoman for the empowerment of women, or rather js she performing the dirty work of conservatjve patriarchy? I do not think we wilL ever know the answer. Rather, Barbie is the undeniabte "American Icon." She is a toy, and she js what we want her to be. A test performed by Atbert M. Magro at Fairmont State Cotlege titted "Why Barbie is Perceived as Beautifut" shows that Barbie is the epitome ofwhat we as humans find beautifut. The test sought to find human preferences on evolutionary changes in the human body. Subjects were shown a serjes of photos comparing different human body parts, such as the size and shape of the eyes, and asked to decide which feature they preferred: the primitive or derived (more evolved traits). The test revealed that the subjects preferred the derjved body traits. it is these preferred evolutionary features that are utiLized on the body of Barbie. Barbie is truly an extension of what we are and DRAFTINGCONCLUSIONS 339 The writer quotes what we perceive. Juel Best concludes his discourse on an authorityto with these words: "Toys do not embody viotence or sexism or amplifythe idea occu[t meanings. PeopLe must assign toys their meanings." that individually and co I I ective ly, we p roj ect significance ontoys. Barbie is whoever we make her out to be. Barbie grabs hotd of our imaginations and lets us go wil.d. Pull together the main claims of your essay. Dont simply repeat points you make in the paper. Instead, show readers how the points you make fit together. Answer the question "So what?" Show your readers r.vhy your stand on the issue is significant. Place your argument in a larger context. Discuss the specifics of your argument, but also indicate its broader implications. Show readers what is new. As you synthesize the key points of your argument, explain how what you argue builds on, extends, or challenges the thinking of others. Decide on the best strategy for writing your conclusion. Will you echo the introduction? Challenge the reader? Look to the future? Pose questions? Conclude with a quotation? Choose the best strategy or strategies to appeal to your readers. A Prqctice Sequence: Drofting o Conclusion Write your conclusion, using one of the strategies described in this section. Then share your conclusion with a classmate. Ask this person to address the following questions: . Did I pull together the key points of the argument? . Did I answer "so what?" adequately? r Are the implications I want readers to draw from the essay clear? After listening to the responses, try a second strategy, and then ask your classmate which conclusion is more effective. If you do not have a conclusion of your own, analyze each example conclusion above to see how well each appears to (1) pull together the main claim of the essay, (2) answer "So what?" (3) place the argument in a larger context, and (4) show readers what is new. From Greene, Stuart, and April Lidinsky. From Inquiry to Academic Writing: A Text and Reader, Macmillian, 2018. From Introductions to Conclusions Drafting an Essay I n this chapter, we describe strategies for crafting introductions that set up your argument. We then describe the characteristics of well-formulated paragraphs that will help you build your argument. Finally, we provide you with some strategies for writing conclusions that reinforce what is new about your argument, what is at stake, and what readers should do with the knowledge you convey. DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS The introduction is where you set up your argument. It's where you establish that the issue or problem you focus on is timely and relevant, identify a widely held assumption or gap, challenge that assumption or suggest how your research will fill that gap, and state your thesis. You can also state the question that motivates your research and reframe or change the "conversation" in order to prompt readers to see an issue in a new way. Writers use a number of strategies to set up their arguments. In this section we look at six of them: • Moving from a general topic and issue to a specific thesis (invertedtriangle introduction) • Introducing the issue with a story (narrative introduction) • Beginning with a question (interrogative introduction) • Capturing readers' attention with something unexpected (paradoxical introduction) • Identifying a gap in knowledge (minding-the-gap introduction) • Changing the conversation (reframing introduction) 364 DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS 365 Remember that an introduction need not be limited to a single paragraph. It may take several paragraphs to effectively set up your argument, as we indicate in Chapter 6. Keep in mind that you have to make these strategies your own. That is, we can suggest models, but you must make them work for your own argument. You must imagine your readers and what will engage them using appeals to their emotions, sensibilities, and intellect. What will you do to get readers to follow your line of argument? What tone do you want to take? Playful? Serious? Formal? Urgent? The attitude you want to convey will depend on your purpose, your argument, and the needs of your audience. ■ The Inverted-Triangle Introduction An inverted-triangle introduction, like an upside-down triangle, is broad at the top and pointed at the base. It begins with a description of the problem or issue and then narrows its focus, ending with the point of the paragraph (and the triangle), the writer's thesis. We can see this strategy at work in the following introduction from a student's essay. The student writer (1) begins with a broad description of the problem she will address, (2) then focuses on a set of widely held but troublesome assumptions, and (3) finally, presents her thesis in response to what she sees as a pervasive problem. The student begins with a general set of assumptions about education that she believes people readily accept. She then cites author bell hooks to identify an approach that makes use of these assumptions - the "banking system" of education, a term hooks borrows from educator Paulo Freire. The student then points to the banking system as the source of a misconception or gap that she wants to correct. This sets up her thesis about the "true purpose" of education. In recent debates focusing on curricular reform in schools, many voice the belief that education's sole purpose is to communicate information for students to store and draw on as necessary. By storing this information, students hope to perform well on tests. Good test scores assure good grades. Good grades eventually lead to acceptances into good colleges, which ultimately guarantee good jobs. Many teachers and students, convinced that education exists as a tool to secure good jobs, rely on the banking system. In her essay "Teaching to Transgress," bell hooks defines the banking system as an "approach to learning that is rooted in the notion that all students need to do is consume information fed to them by a professor and be able to memorize and store it" (185). Through the banking system, students focus solely on facts, missing the important themes and life lessons available in classes and school materials. The banking system misdirects the fundamental goals of education. Education's true purpose is to prepare students for the real world by allowing them access to pertinent life knowledge available in their studies. Education should then entice students to apply this pertinent life knowledge to daily life struggles through praxis. In addition to her definition of the banking system, hooks offers the idea of praxis from the work of Paulo Freire. When incorporated into education, praxis, or "action and 366 CHAPTER 11 FROM INTRODUCTIONS TO CONCLUSIONS: DRAFTING AN ESSAY reflection upon the world in order to change it" (185), offers an advantageous educational tool that enhances the true purpose of education and overcomes the banking system. The strategy of writing an introduction as an inverted triangle entails first identifying an idea, an argument, or a concept that people appear to accept as true; next, pointing out the problems with that idea, argument, or concept; and then, in a few sentences, setting out a thesis. It's import­ ant to acknowledge and evaluate multiple perspectives to pave the way for you to present your own position. In this case, the student writer chal­ lenges an assumption by offering alternative perspectives and providing multiple voices-her own and the published authors who also call atten­ tion to the purpose of education that others have overlooked. ■ The Narrative Introduction Opening with a short narrative, or story, is a strategy many writers use successfully to draw readers into the problem that they want to address. A narrative introduction relates a sequence of events and can be espe­ cially effective if you think you need to coax indifferent or reluctant read­ ers into taking an interest in the topic that you believe they should know about. Of course, a narrative introduction delays the declaration of your argument, so it's wise to choose a short story that clearly connects to your argument and get to the thesis as quickly as possible (within a few paragraphs) before your readers start wondering "What's the point of this story?" Notice how the student writer uses a narrative introduction to her argument in her essay titled "Throwing a Punch at Gender Roles: How Women's Boxing Empowers Women." The student's entire first paragraph is a narrative that takes us into the world of women's boxing and foreshadows her thesis. Glancing at my watch, I ran into the gym, noting to myself that being late to the first day of boxing practice was not the right way to make a good first impression. I flew down the stairs into the basement, to the room the boxers have lovingly dubbed "The Pit." What greeted me when I got there was more than I could ever have imagined. Picture a room filled with boxing gloves of all sizes covering an entire wall, a mirror covering another, a boxing ring in a comer, and an awesome collection of framed newspaper and magazine arti­ cles chronicling the boxers whose pictures were hanging on every wall. Now picture that room with seventy-plus girls on the floor doing push-ups, sweat dripping down their faces. I was immediately struck by the discipline this sport would require of me, but I had no idea I would take so much more from it. DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS With her narrative as a backdrop, the student identifies a problem, using the transition word 'yet" to mark her challenge to the conditions she observes in the university's women's boxing program. The writer then states her thesis (what her paper "will show''): Despite the problems of stereotyping, women's boxing offers women significant opportunities for growth. 367 The university offers the only nonmilitary-based college-level women's boxing program in America, and it also offers women the chance to push their physical limits in a regulated environment. Yet the program is plagued with disappointments. I have experienced for myself the stereotypes female boxers face and have dealt with the harsh reality that boxing is still widely recognized as only a men's sport. This paper will show that the women's boxing program at Notre Dame serves as a much-needed outlet for females to come face-to-face with aspects of themselves they would not typically get a chance to explore. It will also examine how viewing this sport as a positive opportunity for women at ND indicates that there is growing hope that very soon more activities similar to women's boxing may be better received by society in general. I will accomplish these goals by analyzing scholarly journals, old Observer [the school newspaper] articles, and survey questions answered by the captains of the 20-- women's boxing team of ND. The student writer uses a visually descriptive narrative to introduce us to the world of women's college boxing; then, in the second paragraph, she steers us toward the purpose of the paper and the methods she will use to develop her argument about what women's boxing offers to young women and to the changing world of sports. A variation on the strategy of setting up an argument with a story is to create a scenario. In the following example, the writer invites readers to imagine a familiar scene that, for many, conjures up assumptions about youth the author wants to change. Notice how Nancy Lesko, a distinguished professor of education, uses this strategy of creating a scenario in Act Your Age: A Cultural Construction of Adolescence to "complicate" the nature of identity and "trouble" common misperceptions of adolescence. The first paragraph is a scenario that invites readers to reflect on a seemingly familiar experience and ve,y subtly begins to challenge readers' assumptions with references in quotes, such as "another tribe" and the much-quoted adult perspective, "the trouble with teenagers." Consider for a moment some familiar public spaces: your local mall, a Cineplex, the outside seating of fast food restaurants, a bowling alley, skateboarding sites, video arcades, or buses around 3 P.M. any Monday through Friday. Ubiquitous in all of those spaces are teenagers-almost always in groups and sporting hair, clothes, piercing, and attitudes that mark them as belonging to "another tribe." Teenagers are so obvious and omnipresent that we seem hardly to notice them unless their peals of laughter cause us to nervously look their way or they interfere with the expected movement or pace of a common task such as standing in line or shopping for groceries, or they walk too close on the street or in the mall. The ubiquity of teenagers in social spaces beyond households and schools is matched by their prominence in 368 CHAPTER 11 The writer folfow5 thi5 5cenario and ana/y5i5 with her intention to challenge conception5 of ado/e5cence and correct 5ome mi5perception5 that adult5 have about youth. 1he5e fa/5e a55umption5 are rooted in fiction. The author offer5 a per5pective that i5 ba5ed more on reality. FROM INTRODUCTIONS TO CONCLUSIONS: DRAFTING AN ESSAY our talk. .. . They are most often spoken of with familiarity, sometimes with affection, and regularly with some hostility or displeasure. In these various venues and with decidedly mixed emotions, we talk about "the trouble with teenagers." This book takes a closer look at these "troubling teenagers" as stock characters in popular narratives, scientific discourses, and educational programs via endlessly repeated stories-clinical and anecdotal-of instability, emotionality, present-centeredness, and irresponsibility. The ubiquitousness of teenagers with problems, their ability to outrage or worry adults, and the certainty about their naturally-occurring "nature" beg scrutiny. The ready construction of young people into numerous public problems-most recently violent Internet suburbanites, teenage mothers, and urban criminals-suggests that teenagers are complex and malleable accomplishments with broad political and social effects. The overarching aim of this book is to "trouble" these common conceptions of adolescents. The way the writer uses images can be an effective way to invite reflection on what seems familiar. Is this the way I see youth? Is the author accurate in what she describes? Is her research a credible source for challenging my experience? ■ The Interrogative Introduction An interrogative introduction invites readers into the conversation of your essay by asking one or more questions, which the essay goes on to answer. This is an issue-based question (see Chapter 5) that will pique your readers' interest, enticing them to read on to discover how your insights shed light on the issue. Notice the question Daphne Spain, a professor of urban and environmental planning, uses to open her essay "Spatial Segregation and Gender Stratification in the Workplace." Spain 5et5 up her argument by a5king a que5tion and then tentatively an5wering it with a reference to a publi5hed 5tudy. In the third 5entence, 5he 5tate5 her the5i5 - that men and women have very little contact in the workplace. Finally, 5he outline5 the effect5 that thi5 lack of contact ha5 on women. To what extent do women and men who work in different occupations also work in different space? Baran and Teegarden propose that occupational segregation in the insurance industry is "tantamount to spatial segregation by gender" since managers are overwhelmingly male and clerical staff are predominantly female. This essay examines the spatial conditions of women's work and men's work and proposes that working women and men come into daily contact with one another very infrequently. Further, women's jobs can be classified as "open floor," but men's jobs are more likely to be "closed door." That is, women work in a more public environment with less control of their space than men. This lack of spatial control both reflects and contributes to women's lower occupational status by limiting opportunities for the transfer of knowledge from men to women. DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS 369 By the end of this introductory paragraph, Spain has explained some of the terms she will use in her essay (open floor and closed door) and has offered in her final sentence a clear statement of her thesis. In "Harry Potter and the Technology of Magic," literature scholar Elizabeth Teare begins by contextualizing the Harry Potter publishing phenomenon. Then she raises a question about what fueled this success story. In her first four sentences, Teare describes something she is curious about and she hopes readers will be curious about - the popularity of the Harry Potter books. In the fifth sentence, Teare asks the question she will try to answer in the rest of the essay. Finally, in the last sentence, Teare offers a partial answer to her question - her thesis. The July/August 2001 issue of Book lists J. K. Rowling as one of the ten most influential people in publishing. She shares space on this list with John Grisham and Oprah Winfrey, along with less famous but equally powerful insiders in the book industry. What these industry leaders have in common is an almost magical power to make books succeed in the marketplace, and this magic, in addition to that performed with wands, Rowling's novels appear to practice. Opening weekend sales charted like those of a blockbuster movie (not to mention the blockbuster movie itself), the reconstruction of the venerable New York Times bestseller lists, the creation of a new nation's worth of web sites in the territory of cyberspace, and of course the legendary inspiration of tens of millions of child readers-the Harry Potter books have transformed both the technologies of reading and the way we understand those technologies. What is it that makes these books-about a lonely boy whose first act on learning he is a wizard is to go shopping for a wand-not only an international phenomenon among children and parents and teachers but also a topic of compelling interest to literary, social, and cultural critics? I will argue that the stories the books tell, as well as the stories we're telling about them, enact both our fantasies and our fears of children's literature and publishing in the context of twenty-first-century commercial and technological culture. In the final two sentences of the introduction, Teare raises her question about the root of this "international phenomenon" and then offers her thesis. By the end of the opening paragraph, then, the reader knows exactly what question is driving Teare's essay and the answer she proposes to explain throughout the essay. ■ The Paradoxical Introduction A paradoxical introduction appeals to readers' curiosity by pointing out an aspect of an issue that runs counter to their expectations. Just as an interrogative introduction draws readers in by asking a question, a paradoxical introduction draws readers in by saying, in effect, "Here's something completely surprising and unlikely about this issue, but my essay 370 CHAPTER 11 FROM INTRODUCTIONS TO CONCLUSIONS: DRAFTING AN ESSAY will go on to show you how it is true." In this passage from "'Holding Back': Negotiating a Glass Ceiling on Women's Muscular Strength," sociologist Shari L. Dworkin points to a paradox in our commonsense understanding of bodies as the product of biology, not culture. In the first sentence, Dworkin quotes from a study to identify the thinking that she is going to challenge. Notice how Dworkin signals her own position "However" relative to commonly held assumptions. Dworkin ends by stating her thesis, noting a paradox that will surprise readers. Current work in gender studies points to how "when examined closely, much of what we take for granted about gender and its causes and effects either does not hold up, or can be explained differently." These arguments become especially contentious when confronting nature/ culture debates on gendered bodies. After all, "common sense" frequently tells us that flesh and blood bodies are about biology. However, bodies are also shaped and constrained through cumulative social practices, structures of opportunity, wider cultural meanings, and more. Paradoxically, then, when we think that we are "really seeing" naturally sexed bodies, perhaps we are seeing the effect of internalizing gender ideologies-carrying out social practices-and this constructs our vision of "sexed" bodies. Dworkin's strategy in the first three sentences is to describe common practice, the understanding that bodies are biological. Then, in the sentences beginning "However" and "Paradoxically," she advances the surprising idea that our bodies-not just the clothes we wear, for example-carry cultural gender markers. Her essay then goes on to examine women's weightlifting and the complex motives driving many women to create a body that is perceived as muscular but not masculine. ■ The Minding-the-Gap Introduction This type of introduction takes its name from the British train system, the voice on the loudspeaker that intones "Mind the gap!" at every stop, to call riders' attention to the gap between the train car and the platform. In a minding-the-gap introduction, a writer calls readers' attention to a gap in the research on an issue and then uses the rest of the essay to fill in the "gap." A minding-the-gap introduction says, in effect, "Wait a minute. There's something missing from this conversation, and my research and ideas will fill in this gap." For example, in the introductory paragraphs to her edited collection of published essays, Transforming the City: Community Organizing and the Challenges of Political Change , professor of political science and urban studies Marion Orr calls attention to the "decline of civic engagement" and misplaced priorities in the United States. DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS In the first paragraph, the author provides a review of research that serves as a backdrop for stating the problem. The author then underscores a trend (the issue) that has concerned many different observers and that has had unfortunate consequences for people who have the greatest needs. Invoking the voices of other writers, she reminds us of the importance of contextualizing other perspectives in our writing. The author then offers a possible strateqy to address the issue she raises at the end of the second paragraph. 371 There is considerable discussion and increasing concerns about the declining levels of civic engagement in the United States. A recent study produced by a group of scholars affiliated with the American Political Science Association (APSA) proclaimed that "American democracy is at risk" because Americans have turned away from public and civic life. Robert Putnam used the "bowling alone" metaphor to describe the decline in membership in civic organizations, fraternal groups, parent-teacher associations, Boy Scouts, and many other organizations. Theda Skocpol attributes part of America's "diminished democracy" to the rise of professional advocacy groups .... According to the study sponsored by APSA, "Americans have turned away from politics and the public sphere in large numbers, leaving our civic life impoverished." Most observers agree that the decline of civic engagement and the hijacking of locally rooted organizations are not good news for the United States and that the problem is magnified and implications far-reaching in the country's central cities. Stephen Macedo and his colleagues point to metropolitan areas and their central cities as places "where the most serious challenges to healthy democratic life are also found." With higher concentrations of low-income and disadvantaged residents, cities are disproportionately hurt by civic disengagement .... Is there a strategy that could address many of the social and economic challenges facing central cities and help reinvigorate civic engagement in urban communities? This book explores community organizing as just such a strategy. Orr uses this two-paragraph introduction to highlight what she finds problematic about increasing "civic disengagement" by ordinary citizens, as opposed to "top-down organizations, and the lack of focus on populations that most need access to resources." She also raises a question that implicitly asks readers how they might approach the problem, if they agree there is one, and introduce readers to her own approach. ■ The Reframing Introduction Reframing a discussion provides a new perspective that others may have overlooked. Often reframing involves defining a word or phrase in a new way or creating a new term to offer a lens through which to challenge an idea, concept, or experience that others have written about. Naming something is also memorable and can have a powerful influence on the 3 72 CHAPTER 11 FROM INTRODUCTIONS TO CONCLUSIONS: DRAFTING AN ESSAY ways readers see an issue. Consider how Noliwe Rooks, author of four books and director of American Studies at Cornell University, reframes a familiar narrative of inequality in American public education. The road necessarily traveled to achieve freedom and equality in the United States leads directly through public education. For American citizens who are neither white nor wealthy, the journey has often been twisted and turned before leading back to the beginning, exposing stark tensions between racial and economic integration as an educational strategy and the strategy that champions separate but equal schools as America's ideology of choice. Since the earliest days when tax-supported public education was conceived and implemented, there have been intractable tensions between how economics, or race-or both-determine the funding, form, and purpose of education in America ... . It is then not surprising that students educated in The author follows this brief historical overview wealthy schools perform well as measured by standard educaby coining a word, tional benchmarks. Students educated in poor schools do not. ''segrenomics," to reframe While there have been times in our nation's history when we the ways readers think about race, class, and have acknowledged the damage inflicted by separate educainequality in education. tional systems on our constitutionally enshrined rights of citizenship, with few exceptions we have found little incentive to commit ourselves to integrating both halves of this literal and figurative schoolhouse. Racial and economic integration is the one systemic solution that we know ensures the tide will lift all educational boats equally. However, instead of committing to educating poor children in the same way as we do the wealthy, or actually with the wealthy, we have offered separate educational content (such as reoccurring vocational education for the poor) and idiosyncratic forms of delivery (such as virtual charter schools and cyber education) as substitutes for what we know consistently works. While not ensuring educational equality, such separate, segregated, and unequal forms of education have provided the opportunity for businesses to make a profit selling schooling. I am calling this specific form of economic profit segrenomics. The author begins her introduction by calling attention to how historical inequities in school funding are influenced by race and class. The author is strategic in setting up the narrative and using the word "however," to force readers to pause and reconsider past solutions ("Racial and economic integration is the one systemic solution") to a persistent problem. Reframing separate and unequal schooling as "segrenomics" serves the author's purpose of describing what she sees as exploitation (opportunity for businesses to make a profit selling schooling). Thus she shifts the conversation from one that centers on school funding to a broader problem that readers need to know about. DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS 373 D Use an inverted triangle. Begin with a broad situation, concept, or idea, and narrow the focus to your thesis. E) Begin with a narrative or scenario. Capture readers' imagination and interest with a story that sets the stage for your argument. EJ Ask a question that you will answer. Provoke readers' interest with a question, and then use your thesis to answer the question. ri] Present a paradox. Begin with an assumption that readers accept as true and formulate a thesis that not only challenges that assumption but may very well seem paradoxical. El Mind the gap. Identify what readers know and then what they don't know (or what you believe they need to know). r:1 Reframe the conversation. Describe an idea, concept, or experience that is familiar to most readers and use a framing concept to name and redirect the focus on an issue that others may have ignored or overlooked. A Practice Sequence: Drafting an Introduction Write or rewrite your introduction (which, as you've seen, may involve more than one paragraph), using one of the six drafting strategies discussed in this chapter. Then share your introduction with one of your peers and ask the following questions: • To what extent did the strategy compel you to want to read further? • To what extent is my thesis clear? • How effectively do I draw a distinction between what I believe others assume to be true and my own approach? • Is there another way that I might have made my introduction more compelling? After listening to the responses , try a second strategy and then ask your peer which introduction is more effective. 2 If you do not have your own introduction to work on, revise the introduction below from a student's essay, combining two of the six drafting strategies we've discussed in this chapter. News correspondent Pauline Frederick once commented, "When a man gets up to speak people listen then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen." Ironically, the harsh reality of this statement is given life by the ongoing controversy What Is Education For? Keyi Zhu Instructor: DAVID BORDELON Rutgers University 2023/10/23 What Is Education For? In the 21st century, the cause of schooling goes beyond, without a doubt, getting ready students for the staff. It is about equipping them with the competencies and understanding essential to navigate an unsure and rapidly converting international. The purpose of higher training isn't always just personnel readiness but global readiness. This means providing students with the intellectual toolkit to become independent, critical thinkers who can solve problems using various methods. Traditional education models, focused on discipline-specific knowledge and rote memorization, are no longer sufficient. Students must be adaptable and resilient in a disrupted and disturbing economy where entire industries and professions change or disappear. They must be prepared for a future where jobs may be contingent, on-demand, and lacking security or advancement opportunities. Furthermore, students today are not content with simply acquiring skills for a changing world. They want to be change-makers and contribute to society in meaningful ways. They want to understand the world enough to lead it and address significant social issues (Allen, 2016). This requires a new kind of education that goes beyond job training and focuses on developing critical thinking, problem-solving, and creativity. The evolving nature of schooling in the virtual age has delivered widespread adjustments in how we approach coaching and mastering. With the advent of technology, training has become more available and bendy, bearing in mind personalized and self-paced learning reviews (Meier, 2016). However, this also presents challenges in ensuring equitable access to the right of entry to era and digital resources and addressing the troubles of records overload and virtual literacy. Disparities in academic access and effects persist, both globally and within international locations. Socioeconomic elements, including earnings and race, regularly decide the first-rate training individuals achieve. This perpetuates inequality and bounds possibilities for social mobility (Meier, 2016). It is essential to deal with those disparities and ensure that all students have the same entry to a first-class education, regardless of their history. The debate between conventional and progressive education fashions also shapes the cause of schooling in the 21st century. Traditional models emphasize subject-unique knowledge and standardized trying out, even as advanced fashions cognizance of significant wondering, problem-solving, and creativity (Meier, 2016). There is a want to strike a stability between these tactics, spotting the significance of foundational information and equipping students with the abilities vital to thrive in a swiftly changing world. Traditionalists argue that the motive of schooling within the twenty-first century must ordinarily be targeted on transmitting discipline-unique know-how and making ready students for the team of workers. They believe that a strong basis in center topics, including math, science, and language arts, is essential for college kids to achieve their careers. Traditionalists also emphasize the significance of discipline and shape in training (Allen, 2016). They argue that a traditional coaching technique, with clear expectations and a focus on memorization and repetition, facilitates students to increase vital competencies, field, perseverance, and attention to detail. While traditionalists make legitimate factors about the importance of foundational information and discipline, some regions of war of words exist. The conventional training method won't effectively put together students for the unexpectedly changing and unsure world of the twenty-first century (Meier, 2016). The attention to standardized testing and rote memorization can also restrict students' ability to think severely, remedy complex troubles, and adapt to new conditions. Additionally, the conventional training method may perpetuate inequalities in getting the right of entry and results. Students from deprived backgrounds might not have equal opportunities for a satisfactory education. They may be left behind in a gadget prioritizing standardized testing and field-precise understanding. To address those concerns, it's vital to balance the conventional approach and more revolutionary fashions of schooling (Allen, 2016). Incorporating crucial thinking, problem-solving, and creativity into the curriculum can better prepare students for the demands of the 21st century while still ensuring a solid foundation of understanding. The traditionalists argue for a content-focused education emphasizing discipline-specific knowledge and preparing students for the workforce. They agree with a based and standardized method of coaching and gaining knowledge. On the other hand, modern fashions of education emphasize critical questioning, hassle-fixing, and creativity, aiming to prepare students for a swiftly converting international (Meier, 2016). They propose a bendier and personalized approach to schooling. Education in the 21st century must strike stability between those perspectives, incorporating each foundational knowledge and ability necessary for adaptability and innovation. Education within the 21st century aims to offer students a strong foundation of subjectunique understanding and equip them with the competencies and attitude to navigate a hastily converting global. It must foster critical thinking, trouble-solving, and creativity, empowering college students to become impartial and adaptable newcomers (Meier, 2016). Education also needs to deal with disparities in admission and consequences, ensuring that every student has identical opportunities to triumph. Cathy argues that higher education should focus on world readiness, providing students with the intellectual toolkit to become independent, critical thinkers who can solve problems using various methods. This aligns with the need for education to foster critical thinking and problemsolving skills. Deborah Meier highlights the importance of equality in education, aiming to ensure that all students can live equally flourishing lives (Meier, 2016). This supports the idea of addressing disparities in access and outcomes. An instance of educational software that aligns with the interpretive function is a task-based mastering initiative. In this method, students interact in global industries, requiring important wondering, problem-solving, and collaboration. They follow subject-precise knowledge to clear up complicated issues and increase transferable competencies to diverse contexts. This approach prepares college students for the personnel band and fosters adaptability and creativity, permitting them to thrive in a rapidly converting world. The conversation on the purpose of training ought to be preserved, as there are unanswered questions and demanding situations to cope with. Further studies and exploration of the subject of schooling can assist us in broadening revolutionary strategies, bridging academic gaps, and creating an extra equitable and effective training device. By conducting ongoing talks and collaboration, we will work toward a future wherein schooling empowers individuals and promotes social and financial progress. References (Main) Allen, Danielle. "What Is Education For?" Boston Review, 26 April 2016, Meier, Deborah. "What Is Education For?" Forum Response. Boston Review, 26 April 2016, Satz, Debra. "What Is Education For?" Forum Response. Boston Review, 26 April 2016,
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Essay Revision
Exercise 1
Original Introduction
In the 21st century, the cause of schooling goes beyond, without a doubt, getting ready
students for the staff. It is about equipping them with the competencies and understanding
essential to navigate an unsure and rapidly converting international. The purpose of higher
training isn't always just personnel readiness but global readiness. This means providing students
with the intellectual toolkit to become independent, critical thinkers who can solve problems
using various methods.
Revised Introduction
Amidst a classroom filled with students, eyes immersed in textbooks, absorbing
knowledge like thirsty sponges. One encounters the quintessential image of traditional education.
This common portrayal often carries assumptions about the role of schools, student expectations,
and teaching methods. Yet, in our rapidly evolving world, it is imperative to challenge these
ingrained beliefs. Just as the world continually transforms, so should our approach to education.
This essay explores the pressing shift away from a narrow focus on workforce preparation
towards a broader emphasis on global readiness. It delves into the significance of equipping
students with the skills needed to become independent and adaptable thinkers capable of
confronting the challenges of our ever-dynamic reality. Our journey begins by dissecting crucial
educational principles and innovative methods that facilitate this transformative shift.
Original Conclusion

The conversation on the purpose of training ought to be preserved, as there are
unanswered questions and demanding situations to cope with. Further studies and exploration of
the subject of schooling can assist us in broadening revolutionary strategies, bridging academic
gaps, and creating an extra equitable and effective training device. By conducting ongoing talks
and collaboration, we will work toward a future wherein schooling empowers individuals and
promotes social and financial progress.
Revised Conclusion
In conclusion, the imperative nature of the ongoing dialogue surrounding the purpose of
education cannot be overstated. It is not a distant concern but an immediate call to action. The
questions that persist and the challenges that loom demand our attention today. Without decisive
action, we risk perpetuating educational disparities and an ineffective system that hinders
individual empowerment. To address these pressing issues, we must commit to further
examination and in-depth research into education. These endeavors hold the promise of
transformative solutions, capable of narrowing educational gaps and establishing a fair and
efficient system. Through sustained dialogues and collaborative efforts, we can collectively
shape a future where education is a potent instrument of empowerment, propelling societal and
economic progress. Therefore, we must act decisively, implementing recommended changes, and
actively participating in reshaping the educational landscape. The future of education hinges on
our willingness to confront these challenges head-on and steer toward a more equitable and
empowering educational system.
Exercise 2
Body paragraph 1: Draft

Traditional education models, focused on discipline-specific knowledge and rote
memorization, are no longer sufficient. Students must be adaptable and resilient in a disrupted
and disturbing economy where...

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