Read each of your peer's essays and REPLY to EACH of them individually by clicking on the reply button beneath their posted link. These reviews must be complete by Tuesday, November 7; you will have the class period Monday and Tuesday (11/6 & 11/7) to complete these reviews.Provide them helpful, detailed feedback by answering the questions below in your reply (number your responses). Remember to make helpful comments and maintain the privacy of your peers by not commenting on or sharing student work outside of your discussion group.
1. Does the essay contain all of the required elements listed above? If not, what is missing or incorrect?
2. What did you find the most interesting about their topic? (Be Specific) Why?
3. Ask questions that you still have about their topic which aren't answered in their essay? If you don't have questions, how can the essay be improved?
4. Suggest another metaphor or simile for their topic here.
5. Detail all spelling, capitalization, or grammarmistakes here.
6. How would you change the organization of this piece and why?
7. What is your favorite line from their essay? (Copy and paste it here.) Why did you like this line?.
Explanation & Answer
1. MLA format is not completely met, no page number.
2. The essay's emphasis on using journaling as a tool for self-improvement and mental health is
particularly interesting. It acknowledges the therapeutic power of writing and drawing,
suggesting that these activities can help individuals process their feelings privately. This
resonates with me because it aligns with psychological research that suggests expressive writing
can significantly benefit mental health by providing an outlet for emotional release and selfreflection.
3. Here are three questions that arise from the essay which are not directly addressed within it:
How does journaling compare with other forms of self-expression or therapy in terms of
effectiveness for improving mental health?
Are there any particular journaling techniques or prompts that are especially beneficial
for those struggling with mental health issues?
Can journaling have any potential negative effects, and if so, how can an individual
mitigate these when starting a journaling practice for mental health purposes?
4. Simile. Navigating mental health is akin to tending a garden; it requires patience, care, and the
understanding that growth takes time and effort. Just as a garden flourishes with the right balance
of sunlight and rain, our mental well-being thrives with a mix of joyous experiences and the
lessons learned from challenges. Tending to our minds with the same dedication as a gardener
tends to their plants can yield a resilient and flourishing state of mental health, where each
thought and feeling is acknowledged and nurtured like seeds in fertile soil.
5. In the essay provided, there is a capitalization error with "Journaling" which should not be
capitalized in the middle of a sentence. The phrase "Turn the negative coping mechanisms to
ones that make you want to be here" is grammatically awkward and could be clearer; for
instance, "one's" should be "ones," as it is not possessive, and the structure could be improved for
clarity. Lastly, "it’s important we make the most of life" could be grammatically enhanced by
adding "that" to read "it’s important that we make the most of life."
6. The essay could benefit from a clearer structure by introducing headings or sections that
delineate the introduction, main points, and conclusion. This would guide the reader through the
author's argument in a logical progression, enhancing the overall readability and impact of the
essay. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases between thoughts can help to weave the
essay's points together more cohesively, pr...