editing first draft essay

timer Asked: Jul 5th, 2018
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Question description

Please review the feedback I left you carefully. In order to receive the full 5 extra credit points, you must make a checklist of 3-5 things you can work on and why when preparing Sunday's rough draft. Your reflection must be 100-200 words. Please submit an MLA-formatted document with your word count as a 5th line in the heading. Use a .doc, .docx, or .pdf file format. Make sure you are using complete sentences, though bullet points or numbering is acceptable.

Here are some suggestions for you to work on as you revise your draft:

MLA Formatting: 1) Make sure your header is the same font size and style as the rest of the paper, and include one space between the name and page number. 2) Avoid extra spacing between the word count and title. 3) Do not put your title in bold.

Title: Good--just capitalize “Analysis.”

Introduction: 1) Opener looks fine.. 2) You need to include an extensive summary of his article. You can use the one you submitted for homework. 3) You need to identify his target audience, tone, and purpose.

Thesis: Right now, you do not have a thesis that indicates to the reader what your task for this essay will be. Be sure to also put your thesis in bold. Organizational Plan: Your plan is not clear, overall. Some of your body paragraphs do not have clear topics, and others seem to repeat topics already covered.

Body Paragraphs: You should aim for 2-3 direct quotes from the article per body paragraph to support each topic sentence. Conclusion: More evaluation needed.

Templates: Use and underline a minimum of 10. Grammar: Overall, you need to work on punctuation, word choice, and spelling.

Matti1 Sandra Matti Professor Sarah Martin English 120 1 July 2018 Word Count: 918 A Rhetorical analysis of Jeff Greenfield’s “From Wasteland to Wonderland—TV’s Altered Landscape.” Televisions have been innovated over time from the nineteenth century until the twentieth century. Greenfield portrays this in his writing as he tries to offer an argument on the way the current media television programs have been revolutionized over time. The author incorporates in his writing Rhetoric analysis in line with using Pathos, Ethos and logos to argue out his points correctly. Greenfield is very passionate about technology and tries to explain form his very first experiences when he started writing televisions articles and general how he felt at that very moment. The twenty-first century, however, has seen the development of many TV programs and channels as a result of increased usage of devices and also the watching habits of different people demands for more programs to satisfy their habits. Greenfield appeals to the audience by trying to use the pathos appeal that is presented in the visual presentation of the work. At the beginning of his article, there is a visual representation of a woman and a man watching an old classic television. The picture is in black and white which gives a credible pinch to the relevance the article has to this particular image. Over time the use of televisions has changed, and the picture depicts just how at the beginning of time old TVs used to look like. They were not all fancy as the present day televisions. They were not colored at all and only showed a few channels compared to the present day televisions. Matti2 Greenfield provides reasonable facts for his argument of how the introduction of new technology replaced scarcity with abundance. This is the point of view from which his Logos appeal comes into play, by providing facts that led to the rise of so many TV programs and stations. He clearly states that during the 1970’s when he began to write for the television industries there were only three broadcast networks. These networks were ABC, NBC and the famous CBS. The author continues to provide his evidence that as much as there was three TV broadcast there was an introduction of two new Satcom satellites that by NCA Company that made the three biggest monopoly broadcast to lose their power and were devoured by other competitors. All these facts provide a sense of logic to Greenfield's arguments and a very high sense of reason as to what transpired then that led to the revolutionised TV industry in the current error. The pathos appeal is what makes the arguments even more convincing and captivating as one is able to relate to the authors own experiences and emotions directly. Greenfield explicitly quotes Dick Wolf ‘s statements ‘One thing l genuinely believe, is that broadcasting is different from cable. ’This shows just how personal the issue was for Greenfield since Dick Wolf continues to say just how the cable networks have so-called antiheroes who cannot be compared to other professionals like Walter white who was a big deal back then. When emotions cloud our judgments, we start to have strong connotations to a particular topic, and that is precisely what Greenfield does in this specific stage. Ethos is by far the strongest appeal that a writer can use. By using this strategy, a writer can prove that they are credible and are aware of what they are talking about by commanding a certain level of knowledge about the field they are writing about and also show some expertise in Matti3 the field. Greenfield proves to be credible right from the start by announcing to his readers and letting them know that he began writing for the TV industry in the ‘1970’s’ proving that he has been in the TV writing career for quite a while and knows what he’s talking about exactly. He also uses famous TV personalities of his time like ‘Paul Klein of NBC, and Stan Kallis of Columbia TV’, to show his knowledge of the long served time in the TV industry. When the reader sees these facts and that the writer can identify such media personalities in his writings then they are secured and feel compelled to read more. In conclusion, the TV industry has changed tremendously over the few years. Digital technology has had a part to play in this developments to a great extent with the introduction of Cable networks outdid the three significant monopolies in TV broadcasting back then. Greenfield's ethos, pathos and logos are evident in this papers’ rhetoric analysis. As a result of this analysis, it is possible for the reader to relate with the effects of technological advancement like satellites and introduction of cable networks in the TV industry with ease. Matti4 Work Cited Higgins, Colin, and Robyn Walker. "Ethos, logos, pathos: Strategies of persuasion in social/environmental reports." Accounting Forum. Vol. 36. No. 3. Elsevier, 2012. Braet, Antoine C. "Ethos, pathos and logos in Aristotle's Rhetoric: A re-examination." Argumentation 6.3 (1992): 307-320. From Wasteland to Wonderland: TV’s Altered Landscape, (2015): Retrieved from; https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/05/business/media/from-wasteland-to-wonderland-tvsaltered-landscape.html

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