thesis revision

timer Asked: Oct 4th, 2018
account_balance_wallet $10

Question description

Please read the thesis checklist handout under this week's module. Below is a list of poor thesis statements. Rewrite all of these thesis statements and briefly explain your revisions.

  1. Cell phones are becoming increasingly popular and are in use almost anywhere one goes.
  2. Computers are found in a great many offices, homes, and schools; in fact, most people expect that they will find computers in such places.
  3. There are many similarities and differences between basketball and football.
  4. People would be a lot happier if they had pets.
  5. An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.
  6. Facebook is a better social networking site than Twitter.

the website is the example !!!!!!

For example

:A still weak thesis:(which is i give you )

Many people are to blame for the oil spill that resulted from the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil platform, which caused the largest man-made environmental disaster in U.S. history.

A better thesis :(you revision for me )

Oil companies and the federal government share responsibility for the Gulf oil spill that resulted from the April 2010 Deepwater Horizon explosion.

Explanation :(you write for me which is explain your revision why you think what you did is better than that I gave you !)

This thesis works better than the previous versions because it’s arguable, specific, and focused on one main idea, but not so specific as to greatly limit discussion of the topic. From an essay based on such a thesis, readers will expect evidence that supports the claim that oil companies and the federal government hold joint responsibility for the Gulf oil spill.

Tutor Answer

School: UIUC


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Goes above and beyond expectations !

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