Step 1:Record spoken comments to the instructor about where your writing sounds "pleasing"
and why. Also comment on where you could improve rhythm and fluency of your essay.
Step 2: Revise your essay to achieve greater fluency, paying close attention to the natural
cadences and rhythms of your voice.
Step 3: Record spoken comments to the instructor about the changes you made and how they
improved the essay. Also discuss how you feel about sentence fluency.
It was another day after school as I had finished some homework and changed into some
fresh clothes. I walk downstairs into the lively kitchen and dining room area and sat on the
wooden table next to the kitchen’s barstool area as my mom and dad were discussing whether we
should go out or stay in for dinner. As I was sitting there, I would just be casually listening and
butting into their conversations at random moments while munching on some ice-cream. I
remember complaining about my braces, since I had just gotten them and the second adjustment
was giving me a headache, when my mom brought up my friends who had also gotten braces
either before or after me. At the mention of school the topic soon turned to the school’s
organization, grades, and of course “other options.” As we discussed how poorly the school had
been doing and how my grades were only going to keep slowly dropping, my mom suddenly
remembered looking at the Keystone school’s site and all the benefits and how it was a
well-organized, college prep kind of school. I had never done anything like this and of course at
first the thought of being able to do work at my own pace and how cool it would be to work from
home came to mind. However, the more real the situation became the more I started to worry.
Questions like “Am I really going to be put through this?” or “I’m going to leave everything and
have to work by myself all day every day?” I even began to worry about missing the whole “high
Of course, being the person I am and not wanting to go against my parent’s positive
opinions and ideals of how this would help me in terms of my grades and future. I guess I too
came off as excited and ecstatic to be doing something so different because of events that
happened later. The thing that really set me off was one of my best friend crying their eyes out at
the news near the end of the school year. I’m not very social through text messages because I’d
rather talk to someone in person and I knew that she would be too busy during high school
afterwards because of her busy schedule that I soon learned would make things quite difficult.
At the time, I tried to think of all the positives and realized why my parents were so ready to try
this… because this could be the best opportunity for me. The pros tended to outweigh all my
cons so I decided I might as well give it a good try since I would have to in the end. Through my
realization, I became slightly more motivated and ready to take on the challenge
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