modification for paper

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timer Asked: Oct 20th, 2018
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Question Description

Please read content blow carefully than modify the paper according to these requirements:

FOCUS/THESIS: Focus: making thesis and topic sentences clear evaluations, keep working on making the thesis statement and the topic sentences clear, connected elements of the paper that evaluate BRIXX’s solution and explain why it is or is not effective. Let’s look at your thesis:

The BRIXX Restaurant solution in reaction to Ashley Johnson’s Facebook post may not have augured well with the rest of employees and many people within Charlotte, but it served as a warning to other employees who would have behaved similarly in the future and also gave customers confidence that their activities inside the restaurant would never result to worse situations.

First, this is basically the thesis I used to show you what a thesis might look like; it was not something I was suggesting that you use, especially since your ideas don’t line up with my thesis (also, I use that as an example for all students, so Professor Brooks has seen it before). Also, this thesis indicates that your paper will discuss the following ideas:

1.BRIXX’s solution may have caused dissent among employees and others

2.BRIXX’ solution served as a warning to other employees

3.BRIXX’s solution gave customers confidence to visit the restaurant

Now, let’s look at what your paper is about by looking at the topic sentences you use to start each paragraph:

1.It was probably that first incident of apparent damage to company image emanating from within that BRIXX was encountering.From a management point of view, therefore, the company achieved its goal even although not in the most popular.

2.It may be interesting to note that BRIXX walked into a very narrow path with their decision.

3.One would ask was there a better way of managing the situation? Again, this is debatable.

4.In the case of BRIXX Restaurant, someone might argue that a lot of steps of fairness were assumed by the management

The thesis and your points of discussion do not match up, which is what they need to do. Let’s work backward and look at your topics, then write a thesis. First, asking questions can help refocus these topic sentences to more clearly tie in with the objective of the paper. Try this question: How does this paragraph show why you thinkBRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?

If we were going to be very blatant about how we answer this question, the topic sentences might look like this:

1.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => From a management point of view, BRIXX achieved its goal of disciplining an employee to set a standard for behavior, although they did not consider the particulars of this situation.

2.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => However, BRIXX also had to deal with the consequences of its solution, such as lessened employee trust, which made the solution less effective overall.

3.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => There are other ways that BRIXX could have dealt with their problem.

4.(How does this paragraph show why you think BRIXX’s solution did or did not work effectively?) => Also, BRIXX’s solution seemed unfair, which might have led to additional consequences for the company.

***I don’t think that the paragraph that goes with TS3 actually does much to develop the discussion of your evaluation of BRIXX, as it delves into means and methods of social media monitoring, which is off-topic here in terms of the rest of the paper. The paragraph for TS4 also seems to not fit; it is from the old draft and provides basic information about your thoughts about the case, but does not fit with the overall evaluation of BRIXX or the other paragraphs that work to do this.***

Your thesis statement should come from your content. Your thesis should directly reflect the ideas of the paragraphs. You can use the model thesis to help you get there. The last blank is for all of the reasons you’re discussing in your paper:

The solution _(define the solution)______________ BRIXX implemented to solve______________(define the problem)____________________ did/did not work effectively because _____________(reasons from the topic sentences)______________ .

You might have a part of the thesis that says it seemed effective, but it wasn’t, since the paragraph that goes with TS1 is about that. In that case, your model might be this:

While The solution _(define the solution)______________ BRIXX implemented to solve______________(define the problem)_________________ might have seemed effective in its immediate result, it did not work effectively because _____________(reasons from the other topic sentences)______________ .

Each formal paper you write should have the same relationship between the thesis statement and topic sentences: they must work together.They also must address the objective of the assignment.


RHETORICAL STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION: It is a good idea to work with an outline. Your outline would help you see the relationships between the parts of your paper. Here is an example (using the assignment guidelines as a guide):

¡Introduction

▪Inform the reader of the problem you are reporting

▪Introduce to your reader the company your evaluation will discuss

▪Summarize the solution that the company implemented

▪Present Thesis: answer to How effective was BRIXX’s solution to the problem presented when Ashley Johnson criticized a customer online? Or How effective was BRIXX’s solution to the problem presented by employees posting on social media?

1.First reason defending your stance about why BRIXX’s response was/was not a good one (using a topic sentence thatstates the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis – answer to How does this paragraph support the idea that BRIXX’s solution was/was not effective?)

a.Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument (evidence from the case study – use what happened as “proof” that defends your topic sentence)

b.Critical Thinking:analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence (explain how this is “proof” and what it means)

c.Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph

2.Second reason defending your stance about why BRIXX’s response was/was not a good one (using a topic sentence thatstates the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis – answer to How does this paragraph support the idea that BRIXX’s solution was/was not effective?)

a.Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument (evidence from the case study – use what happened as “proof” that defends your topic sentence)

b.Critical Thinking:analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence (explain how this is “proof” and what it means)

c.Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph

3.Third reason defending your stance about why BRIXX’s response was/was not a good one (using a topic sentence thatstates the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis – answer to How does this paragraph support the idea that BRIXX’s solution was/was not effective?)

a.Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument (evidence from the case study – use what happened as “proof” that defends your topic sentence)

b.Critical Thinking: analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence (explain how this is “proof” and what it means)

c.Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph

4.(Repeat for any additional reasons)

¡Conclusion

Think of these paragraphs as chunks of information; if you’re writing about how it worked, then all of the first body paragraph would be about how it worked; if you’re writing about how employees were upset in the second body paragraph, then all of that paragraph would be about that one topic (and you would not discuss that topic in other areas).

For instance, the first body paragraph might look like this:

From a management point of view, BRIXX achieved its goal of disciplining an employee to set a standard for behavior, although they did not consider the particulars of this situation. It was probably that first incident of apparent damage to company image emanating from within that BRIXX was encountering. BRIXX saw the post using profanity and their company name and they reacted, as Johnson had clearly broken her contract. This explains why the management had to quickly act and in that particular manner to restore confidence among its customers. It may not have been clear enough to the management that Ashley's Facebook account only had a few high school friends and family members. Therefore, the level of damage of this incident would have been limited if BRIXX had considered the specifics context of Johnson’s post. In addition to meting out punishment for a contract violation, BRIXX also wanted to send a message. Other employees in BRIXX restaurant were also meant to learn through the action of dismissing Ashley. From a management point of view, therefore, the company achieved its goals of _____________.

This paragraph uses a topic sentence that more clearly connects to the thesis, explains that the contract violation and setting a standard of behavior were management goals, and also explores the idea that they did not consider context, which might have benefited them.


SENTENCES: * Be sure to apply these throughout your paper, not just in the one sentence I picked out. If the change needs to be made in one place, make sure you make it in all other instances as well. *

It is no doubt that employees felt disappointing and being controlling.

Verb form You’re using verbs as adjectives here, and in this sense, you’re saying they are disappointing and controlling other people. Instead, use the –ed form of the verb to show that others made them feel that way: disappointed and controlled.

In conclusion, everyone have right to post their opinion regarding the method used by BRIXX to fix their problem.

Subject verb agreement You use the singular noun everyone (yes, it means more than one person, but the word is singular) but the plural verb have. To maintain agreement, use the singular verb has. Always check to make sure the nouns and verbs agree. One exercise that can help is to underline the subject noun of each sentence, write if it is singular (s) or plural (p), then circle the verb and ask yourself the same question. If they aren’t both the same letter, then you should see whether you have a lapse in subject verb agreement.

Article the You’d also need to put the article the before right.

It also important to understand that social media activities of an employee in her private account should not be limited by the employer interests but a level of responsibility from the employee must be obeyed.

Possessive case You need to use the possessive case with writing about the interests of the employer: employer’s interests.

Doer vs. one having it done to them You write a level of responsibility form the employee must be obeyed, which makes it sound like the employer must obey the employee’s level of responsibility. Instead, write the employee must obey the contract and show a level of responsibility.


The number of the essay need to be between 1000 and 1300. The third-person.


The first file is the essay need to be modified.


Unformatted Attachment Preview

Running head: CASE STUDY EVALUATION 1 Employers conducting surveillance on employees' behavior both inside and outside their respective workplaces have aroused a lot of debate. So many US companies pay much attention to the employee’s use of the internet without due regard to their rights to privacy. BRIXX Restaurant located in Charlotte, North Carolina in May 2010, decided to fire a 22-year-old waitress named Ashley Johnson who through a Facebook post disparaged a customer who spent 3 hours in the restaurant then only offered a 5dollar tip while a post on her private Facebook page. The BRIXX Restaurant solution in reaction to Ashley Johnson’s Facebook post may not have augured well with the rest of employees and many people within Charlotte, but it served as a warning to other employees who would have behaved similarly in the future and also gave customers confidence that their activities inside the restaurant would never result to worse situations. Otherwise, the restaurant could choose another better way to solve this matter. It was probably that first incident of apparent damage to company image emanating from within that BRIXX was encountering. This explains why the management had to quickly act and in that particular manner to restore confidence among its customers. It may not have been clear enough to the management that Ashley's Facebook account only had a few high school friends and family members. Therefore, the level of damage of this incident would have been limited. In fact, it is a common knowledge that a Facebook friend can share an item posted by a friend and through this new audience transform. Other employees in BRIXX restaurant were also meant to learn through the action of dismissing Ashley. From a management point of view, therefore, the company CASE STUDY EVALUATION 2 achieved its goal even although not in the most popular. It may be interesting to note that BRIXX walked into a very narrow path with their decision. This is because devastating effects this decision caused the other remaining employees was very far-reaching. It is no doubt that employees felt disappointing and being controlling. This consequently interfered with the service of each employee provide. It is also very possible that the action permanently took away working enthusiasm of some of the employees in the restaurant. Restoration of employee enthusiasm undoubtedly is an exercise that involves incentives and reward motivation. Therefore, it is important to note that the company’s choice of solution to its problem was a narrow path that either way had consequences waiting. One would ask was there a better way of managing the situation? Again, this is debatable. The use of social media within the workplace may cause either positive or negative influence on the management of organizational information. For the same reason, many American companies have come up with strategies to limit abuse of social media use in the workplace. First of all, a survey by the (American Management Association, 2008) indicated that 45% of the US firms with more 1000 employees track what their employees do in the ICT field, their emails, workstations and operation time get investigated to find the best solution to limit social media abuses. This is a confirmation of the fact organizational duties and personal rights of employees have conflicted and therefore mitigation mechanism must be in place (Smith & Gallicano, 2015). Therefore, the management makes policies aimed to reduce the damages which caused by the bad social media posts. In this case, the restaurant suffered negative CASE STUDY EVALUATION 3 publicity because the employee’s Facebook post on the too little tip granted. The IT department of the restaurant must at all times put in place communication controls. The management also can implement confidentiality, which helps a great deal in the execution and implementation of the whole technological management and operational studies used in limit office social media abuse. Therefore, controls must exist that would ensure clear strategies and available platforms plays out when investigating the whole applications and operational significance (Ott & Theunissen, 2015). The line is not very clear between duty perspectives and individual employee right perspectives. The duty argues for organizational management to exercise authority in handling employee indiscretions while the employee right advocates for respecting individual rights of employees to private privacy, so companies should find a balance between them. In the case of BRIXX Restaurant, someone might argue that a lot of steps of fairness were assumed by the management. First, they never let Ashley give her side of the case. Also, it is not clear whether the restaurant had educated their employees on the social media policies and whether the post by Ashley on her personal Facebook page need to dismissal. The restaurant cannot decide to fire Ashley that without any critical steps. There are only 100 friends in Ashley’s Facebook account, so an argument would also arise questioning how big the influences of the negative post for the future running of the restaurant (Lee, S. Y., & Lee, S. W., 2018). In conclusion, everyone have right to post their opinion regarding the method used by BRIXX to fix their problem. Every business entity must act to secure benefits of customers firstly before making decisions for every matter. It also important to CASE STUDY EVALUATION 4 understand that social media activities of an employee in her private account should not be limited by the employer interests but a level of responsibility from the employee must be obeyed. To avoid a situation of conflict with the employer, there should be in existence rules formed by both the management and the employees to provide guidance on to what extent can an employee express themselves in social media and possible measures that can be taken to an employee who has disobeyed the setting rules. Also, the implementing team should comprise a representative of the employees to ensure fairness prevails throughout. CASE STUDY EVALUATION 5 References Lee, S. Y., & Lee, S. W. (2018). The effect of Facebook uses on office workers' job performance and the moderating effects of task equivocality and interdependence. Behaviour & Information Technology, 1-14. Ott, L., & Theunissen, P. (2015). Reputations at risk: Engagement during social media crises. Public Relations Review, 41(1), 97-102. Rubin, C. (2010, May 30). Keeping tabs on your employees' Facebook activity. Inc.com. http://www.inc.com/news/articles/2010/03/tracking-employees-on-social-media.html Smith, B. G., & Gallicano, T. D. (2015). Terms of engagement: Analyzing public engagement with organizations through social media. Computers in Human Behavior, 53, 82-90. Musil, S. (2011, February 7). Company settles Facebook firing case. CNET News. ...
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