Analysis two articles.

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timer Asked: Oct 21st, 2018
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Question Description

Overview

The peer review process allows you to respond to your peers’ drafts as fellow writers working toward the common goal of producing properly formatted, useful, and insightful essays. Both you and your peers will be using each other’s comments and recommendations to improve your work. As a result, your individual commitment to peer review has a real impact on the success of the entire class. As you become competent peer reviewers, you will find that you gain new insights on how to improve your own work.

This Part 3 assignment asks you to respond to your peers’ work by inserting at least 7 appropriate community comments and at least 4 thoughtful in-text comments that consider both global and local concerns, 1-2 sentences in each rubric category box, and a 1-2 sentence endnote that lets the writer know what is working well and what areas to focus on in his or her final draft revision. Be sure to point to specific examples within the draft to help guide the writer with your feedback.

Generally, for this assignment, I do need for three text comments, five community comments. Also, I do need short summaries in about two sentences including:

1- Analysis of the article.

2- Evidence of the article.

3- Organization of the article.

4- Style and format of the article.

For these four elements, I gonna attach for you an example that will definitely benefit you.

Here, you should know what text comments and community comments do mean:

Text comments: Any comments that could improve the quality of the article. For example, if you find mistakes in transition words, you can do comment for that. Also, in text comments, you can say anything nice for the article. For example, if you find a strong evidence for the topic sentence, you can mention that.

Community comments: there are 8 types for community comments including style, organization, analysis, evidence and grammar. What I want you to focus on the high order like analysis, evidence and organization.

I gonna attach for you some types of community comments with its parts to be ready for doing the community comments easily.


Unformatted Attachment Preview

The Next Cigarette Craze We were almost the generation that ended the nicotine epidemic. Unlike in the 1900’s, it is not seen as cool to puff on a cigarette anymore. Then in 2017, the Juul was born. It is now very likely if a teenager is seen out, they will have the e-cigarette in their hand and they will be continuously smoking it. This is due to Juul.com advertising the flash drive resembling ecigarette very well. That is why I chose this as my stakeholder website for this project. I wanted to analyze their advertisement to further conclude its effect on teenagers today. Juul’s intended purpose for their website is to inform about their product to persuade consumers to buy their product. They present this with many pictures of people who appear happy that they are using the Juul. They also persuade potential buyers with tabs on the home page titled “Our Mission”, “Our Technology”, and “Community” to establish credibility and make readers feel as though Juul is a community who is doing good in the world. The website also describes numerous times about how it is a healthy alternative to cigarettes. The intended goal they describe on the homepage is to persuade people away from cigarettes and to buy their product for its replacement. It says this under “Our Mission” on the homepage. They want the readers of the website to believe the Juul is a safe alternative. When reviewing Juul.com, I also analyzed how the website communicates its goal in more than just words, who the intended audience is, the website’s tone, and I explored links to other sites that this website offers. Juul is extremely effective at persuading consumers to buy their product on their website. When you look around today, it is more than likely you will spot more smokers using their product. Juul.com communicates its goal in more ways than just with words. Images, photographs, and graphics appear on the website, all portraying happy and healthy people who are using the Juul. The Juul has plenty of pictures portraying smokers who are smiling, glad they chose to buy it. Below these pictures there are links with the pictured person’s story of success and how it changed their lives for the better. This is another example of advertisement where they are trying to persuade consumers that the Juul is not as bad for you even though it still contains a large amount of nicotine. One story included a woman named Marine and they quoted her saying how it “changed her life.” A couple also shared their story where the husband told the website that “he got his wife back” after she started using the Juul. These are both strong claims that would lead any smoker who is feeling hopeless to give the Juul a try. That is what Juul.com is trying to get viewers to feel so they buy their product instead of a cigarette. The stakeholder website also educates readers about their merchandise very well with educational website links. These links are found when readers click the “About Us” tab and then the “Education Resources” tab. Here, there are numerous government websites that explain what exactly is in a Juul pod and how it affects consumers. This gives buyers the feeling that they know exactly what they are purchasing. All these websites Juul.com provides are credible because they are government websites. These government websites are especially useful for cigarette smokers who are reading the website looking for the pros and cons of switching to the e-cigarette. The intended audience for Juul.com are cigarette smokers. This adds to their success because cigarette smokers are always looking for a way to quit. I can conclude this because throughout the website they describe how using e-cigarettes are healthier than using cigarettes. They also depict this by sharing others’ numerous smoking stories to make viewers of the website believe buying a Juul would be like joining a community of people who are trying to quit smoking. The website even has a tab called “Join the Community”. The website’s overall tone for the audience is encouraging and positive. The purpose of this tone is to get people reading this website to feel like they are closer to quitting nicotine by buying the Juul. Overall, Juul.com is very good at advertising it’s product. I can see this with its growing presence all over the internet, and even in everyday life. On my very own college campus I see gusts of smoke wherever I turn. This shows me that they have successfully advertised their product because many people either own one or know about it. The Juul has taken over the tobacco industry in the matter of a little more than a year. That is strong advertisement. Their intended audience of cigarette smokers are like putty in their hands. Smokers look at the website and believe they have found a product that will help them quit their cigarette addiction. That is how effective Juul.com is at achieving their goal of selling the Juul. The website’s positive images, links, and tone add to them being so successful. So successful, in fact, Juul.com has even reached nonsmokers to buy their product. I personally know a large number of teenagers who are now addicted to nicotine because they bought the Juul to look cool. What many do not understand is the Juul may be healthier than a cigarette, but it still contains nicotine. Nicotine is unhealthy regardless of where it comes from. Hopefully in the future, a nicotine free Juul can be invented or even maybe they cannot allow nonsmokers to purchase it to prevent people from becoming addicted. I do realize this is hard to change because Juul is still a business whose main goal is to sell their product, so they want as many people to buy it as possible. I hope people eventually realize on their own that it is still harmful to consume and not to buy it just for the social aspect of it. This is not the 1900s anymore, shouldn’t we have beaten nicotine addiction by now? 2.2 Project Interpreting, Explaining, and Evaluating The website “CAMS-care Preventing Suicide” is the website to recruit for training and consulting people who are interested to receive training to prevent suicide. I am interested in college students committing suicide which is a serious social issue that suicide is the second leading cause of death after traffic accidents among college student. So, it is significant for students to be educated and acquired how to first aid the students who are considering suicide. Therefore, my research is to focus on how college students can practically help their peers to prevent suicide. The website has a clear purpose and goals which reveal it in the website. The stakeholder’s primary purpose is to inform and advertise about the program. The website explains and recruits the people to participate in the CAMS program. Moreover, the stakeholder’s goals for this website is to research and train the people who can approach to suicidal people and work in the field of suicide prevention in the clinical environment and health care system. The stakeholder’s goal is visible on the website’s mission page. The intended audience for this website would be for experts who are related to mental health and also to the people who are interested to receive training for suicide prevention program. This website aims for the educated person that the words and sentences to explain the programs are wordy and technical. The four elements and techniques that the stakeholder uses to support the purpose and goals in the website are videos, explanation of the program, organization of pages, and the tone of stakeholder. All these elements and techniques systematically and logically support this purpose and goals but also interrupts the purpose of the website. I believe, the stakeholder’s techniques to aim his support are reasonable and systematical. However, there are some elements that need to improve to better support his purpose and goals. First of all, the stakeholder supplemented the video of David Jobs who is the inventor of the CAMS program. The website has a long explanation for each program, but there are also videos that describe the programs. Moreover, the video filmed the inventor of the program, which gives the impression of credibility to the audience. Since this program is related to the health issue, reliability and seriousness are important factors when the stakeholder approaches the audience. Also, not only those videos, but there are several pictures of the David Jobs and his book about CAMS program which represent stakeholder is being proud of his program and works. Moreover, advertising and being public with his name represent and express that he is responsible and confident with the program. Therefore, uploading the videos and images of the inventor of the program build the credibility with the audience and helps the audience to rely on the program more and participate in the program. In addition, the explanation of the program is another element and technique the stakeholder uses to support the purpose of the website. On the website, for each program, there is a paragraph of explanations about the program. For specific programs, there are links that lead to in-depth and supplemented explanation. However, mostly each program have a long explanation of the program. So, when I first glanced this website, there were lots of explanation that made me lose concentration. Also, the sentence structures and words are in difficult words that ordinary people would not be able to access the program easily. This also implies that the intended audience for this program is for experts and people who are specifically interested in health problems. Therefore, I believe a brief explanation on the first page and simple words and sentences would make the website more productive. In addition to the explanation of the program, how the stakeholder organized the pages of the website is another element. As I mentioned above, the website explains each program in a long paragraph. But those explanations are presented at the beginning of the page. The long explanation at the beginning of the website would be helpful to grasp and understand the program at the first hand. However, mostly, wordy explanation at the first page did not help but give a tedious impression. Nevertheless, the website was organized systematically that the website clearly differentiates into training, consult and inform and categorized different programs. Although there was a long paragraph to explain each program, each has a link for further explanation and how the program works. Likewise, considering the organization of the website, it is a well-organized website which is very systematical but it would improve the purpose when the website has a brief explanation. Lastly, the tone of this website is another important element. Since this website contains a lot of information with a long paragraph of describing the programs, the tone of how the stakeholder describe is also another crucial element. The stakeholder’s tone is very serious and sincere. As the program is related to the health program, the stakeholder’s attitude toward its topic is very serious and earnest. However, although they approach the audience in serious and sincere tone, the tone is not in a modest attitude. The purpose of this website is to advertise the program and to recruit the participants, it is not in modest tone but the tone that the stakeholder is proud of his program. So, it is important for the audience not to confuse and dazzled by the sincerity of the website’s writing. To conclude, the website is well-organized that the stakeholder composes the website systematically. However, the long descriptions of the program disturb the audience to lose concentration. Also, the audience also has to be critical when reading the descriptions of the program that the tone of explanations is biased. The four elements and techniques that I analyzed were videos, explanation of the program, organization of pages, and the tone of stakeholder. These four elements are the techniques that the stakeholder uses to support the purpose and goals. ...
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Profjohnkimz
School: New York University

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