revise visual analysis paper

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according to the peer review, we need fix some place of this paper. you can check with the peer review paper and the comments. 1. the thesis of this paper must be very clearly and come at very first of the paper, better at end of the first paragraph. 2. for the reference, you should note the size of this artist. 3. give some research of the artist's background. 4. avoid to use the word such like amazing, be academic.

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Running head: VISUAL ANALYSIS PAPER 1 ART H220 Oct 11th Visual Analysis Paper Many exceptional artists have graced the arts industry in the United States and have done many works, which are known for their different attributes and magnificent. One example of American artwork of exceptional attributes, which has caught the eye of many individual was done by Georgia Totto O'Keeffe an American artist known as Waterfall—No. III—'Iao Valley. The artist has been renowned for her captivating paintings of flowers on canvas with many of her paintings devoted to the lush ‘Lao valley. The discussion focuses on analysis of why Waterfall—No. III—'Iao Valley is one of the most significant and amazing art pieces done by O'Keefe from her many paintings together with analyzing the visual aspects of the painting. The mist and fog, which envelops and floats on the valley, have light grey and lavender color tone, which in turn brings the coolness and crispness of the air found in valleys. Looking at the mist drawn in the painting one can easily assert that it highlights the ‘Lao valley stream which runs down through the mountainside. In analyzing the painting, the artist at the background of the art placed a majestic waterfall at the center of the canvas, which can give the audience the sense of water gushing down the crater, which is depicted by the thin white line drawn on the canvas. When viewing the painting background, it also became a focal point of the art since an audience eyes became gravitated on it. O'Keeffe in the art towards drawing the mountains from which the waterfall flows uses grey, almost blue and black darker colors tones. There is also some softness of the painting strokes, which give some calmness to the tranquillity of the masterpiece. The massiveness of the mountains on VISUAL ANALYSIS PAPER the side of the valley, the artist, was able to show this through the use of a mixture of shades of green, which covers most parts of the painting foreground. The colors that are also used by the author to capture the ‘lao valley are more vivid in person which might make the audience to have the urge of seeing more of O’Keeffe’s art work in person. The aspect of the painting that can struck an individual a lot after viewing the art can be the way in which the artist was able to capture the raw and pristine natural beauty of the ‘Lao valley, and she was able to paint it and share it to the world. The artist in various occasions has explained that from her many paintings that she has done this stood among the best since it depicts the experience that she got from the valley having lived near valley and occasionally hike on its trial and swim in the stream of the valley which also inspired her into drawing the masterpiece. The artist towards drawing the masterpiece was able to tie together the melodies of the painting as a whole which helped in creating both the erotic sense and the untouched view of ‘lao valley during the late 1930s. Through the art it depicts the sense of emotion of the artist that must had after seeing the lush and secluded island area during her first vision. The many paintings which have been done by O'Keeffe and once an individual gets an opportunity to view them in person the Waterfall—No. III—'Iao Valley painting would turn up to be the most exceptional and mesmerizing piece of art to an individual just as how the author asserts and this is because the author was able to create the steep and verdant hillsides of ‘Lao valley using her paintbrush making it the most favorite piece of art. Looking at the painting in another dimension one can easily explain that the shape which underlies the composition suggest female sexuality but the author has also in various occasions vehemently denied such references and allegation and that the painting only illustrates the ‘Lao valley that she was brought up near it. The masterpiece lies at the Honolulu Museum of Art thus, an 2 VISUAL ANALYSIS PAPER individual can decide to visit the place to have a glimpse of the art and many other types of paintings which have been done by various American citizens. 3 VISUAL ANALYSIS PAPER 4 Reference Artist - Georgia O'Keeffe, Title - Waterfall—No. III—'Iao Valley, Date – 1939, Dimensions of the object - 24 1/4 x 20 in. (61.6 x 50.8 cm), Location – Honolulu Museum of Art Diedo Planeda As you read your peer's paper, please mark any grammatical errors, spelling errors, or typos. After you have read the entire draft, please fill in this form. Remember that these are rough drafts; please offer helpful suggestions and constructive criticism. (double-sided worksheet) 1. Thesis. Please quote or paraphrase the thesis or “so what” of the paper. Can you think of any ways the author could improve the thesis or make it clearer to the reader? one " looking at the painting can easily explain that the shape which underlies the composition suguest female sexuality! I thing this would be a good thesis to Incoomerate in your Introduction Sentences. 2. Development of ideas/visual analysis. Does the author effectively support the paper's thesis using visual analysis? Are there any ideas that would benefit from further development? Are there any spots where the author relies too heavily on generalizations and could point more specifically to visual evidence? Are there additional aspects of the work that the author doesn't mention that might support or contradict the thesis? In the intro - It seems that the thesis is used as the conclusion statement towards the ene the Author States States "The discussion focuses on analysis of Why Waterfall - No. 111-'190 Valley is one of the most slanificant and Amazing Am pleces done by o'leefe from her many paintings together with Analysing the visual effects" - I dont know if this is an objective statement of a personal ophion 3. Organization. Is the paper organized effectively? Do the ideas follow each other in a logical, understandable way? Are there any sections that are confusing or extraneous? Do the introduction and conclusion of the paper relate well? Does the conclusion offer sufficient closure to the paper (is it repetitive or does it end too abruptly)? oroanization of the very good and gets the point across Neely, for example, the Author tacus about color then proceeds to facht about the texture of the painting and composition in a natural Flow. 4. Format. Does the paper meet the guidelines for this assignment? Is it the correct length? Is the artwork an appropriate selection for this assignment (a work of American art that the author studied in person)? Has the author included an image of the artwork with identifying information in the caption (if known: artist, title, date, medium, size, location/repository)? - The Antwoor Is Prated in the baca with its lifle and the appropriate length and Formal is used, -there might have been some research done for context? 5. Style. Do sentences flow well? Is there any unnecessary repetition of words or ideas? Are there any areas where the paper would benefit if the language/word choice were a bit more precise? words 1/Ке Amazing, master plece, excepolonal are used that arena part of visual analysis Vocabulary What works really well in this paper? What areas need the most work before the author submits the revision? Any other comments, suggestions, or ideas? The Visual Analysis works well but may be the Author should use less context from research and center the structure Yound a thesis,
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