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Thank you for sending me your draft.
You have made a start but there are a few writing (grammar)
errors. I would also suggest that you see if someone can proof
read your work once it has been finished.
In the main critique (so after this description that you have sent
me) I would recommend that you include other references to
support the critique; for example, there are strengths and
limitations that are always associated with case-control studies
- you could refer to these (and reference who has said that
these are strengths and weaknesses), then assess whether
these apply to the current study. I also suggest that you look at
the assessment criteria to check that you have included
everything that is being assessed.
Follow the essay guidelines and check the marking criteria. I
realise that I have only checked a small sample of your work.
I hope that my comments are helpful.

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Thank you for sending me your draft. You have made a start but there are a few writing (grammar) errors. I would also suggest that you see if someone can proof read your work once it has been finished. In the main critique (so after this description that you have sent me) I would recommend that you ...
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