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Writing

Type

Homework

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Student’s Name

Instructor’s Name

Discipline

Date of submission

Alex Langley has worked a great deal in writing his essay with a brilliant idea on how

college should not be the only option for teenagers completing high school. He uses evidence

from various sources that act as data to provide sufficient evidence to his claims. However, there

are inappropriately used punctuations marks that make the work look clumsy. For instance on the

first paragraph, the first sentence comprises of unnecessary commas. Short sentences create a

neat and precise format. With each paragraph having an opening statement, appropriate

examples, and later enough content to back up the idea.

Alex has succeeded in the persuasive power inclined in his argument. The use of

quotations, rhetorical questions and examples of prominent people who have achieved

tremendous wealth regardless of lack of college education supports his agenda and forms a

strong foundation to his point of view. Additionally, the inclusion of statistics and facts becomes

the backbone of the essays perspective. However, shorter and concise sentences would help build

an attractive assay without complicating it with numerous punctuations that could be misused.

Still, although the essay focuses on alternative options rather than college, it should not

disapprove the fact that college is helpful to other individuals. The essay should pass across the

message without inciting or tarnishing the college institutions that are honestly valuable. Thus it

can gear towards encouraging highschoolers to acquire diverse skills outside the classrooms.

The essay has a seemingly outright claim that college is not the only route for success. As

expresses by Alex, the pressure expressed towards the young generation that success can only be

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achieved if one studied hard and joined college to pursue a carrier. Yet there are other diverse

carriers that have propelled people to even greater success. There are unexploited fields that

people are not guided towards instead college becomes the only trusted field that high school

kids are led to believe offers a guaranteed promising life of success. But the society has belittled

success into a simple idea as an admission to a college with those who negate occasionally seen

as an embarrassment. Family and friends regard each other successful on the colleges they

attended. Despite the energy to go to college being extraordinarily overwhelming lesser efforts

are put to adopt non-college courses. Ironically these courses are actually the backbone of our

society from cooking, hairdressing, repair, computer programming among others. College also

comes with its own cost of school loans particularly debts. Nonetheless, there are no adequate

jobs and if any they pay peanuts that cannot pay the debts and still provide an individual with a

worthwhile living standard. But why not the agony if talents such as musicians, actors and artists

live among us with no one to nurture them but several to force carriers on them. The world is

diverse and so are human beings.

Alex Langley’s counterclaim addresses the inadequate support for other carriers that

don’t require one to necessarily pass through college. Despite these alternatives producing the

likes of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Rachael Ray whose success cannot be accounted to

college but the confidence to risk and sacrifice for the greater good. Ironically they have even

employed an uncountable numbers of college graduates. The essay strongly accuses the inability

to push for self employment and creativity. Just as David argues not all people are cut out for the

college rote. At a tender age people can identify their interest and abilities and with training

make several jobs alongside job creation instead of paying college debts which is clearly not

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1 Student’s Name Instructor’s Name Discipline Date of submission Alex Langley has worked a great deal in writing his essay with a brilliant idea on how college should not be the only option for teenagers completing high school. He uses evidence from various sources that act as data to provide sufficient evidence to his claims. However, there are inappropriately used punctuations marks that make the work look clumsy. For instance on the first paragraph, the first sentence comprises of unnecessary commas. Short sentences create a neat and precise format. With each paragraph having an opening statement, appropriate examples, and later enough content to back up the idea. Alex has succeeded in the persuasive power inclined in his argument. The use of quotations, rhetorical questions and examples of prominent people who have achieved tremendous wealth regardless of lack of college educati ...
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