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English Discussion Post

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English Discussion Post

Santi DeRosa’s different versions of the article “The Objectification of Women: Whose

Fault is it?” are significant in understanding the process of writing. Basically, the thesis

statement for the first version of the article is “Are women being objectified by a university that

has a responsibility to treat women with equality and not as second class citizens?” In the final

draft, the thesis statement as it appears in the first paragraph is “Are women being treated as

objects by the very university that has a responsibility to treat them with equality and dignity and

not as second-class citizens?” It is evident that even though the meaning of the thesis statement

does not change, the author rewords it in the final version of the article to make it stronger and

clearer. In summary of the final version, the writer emphasizes on the objectification of women

in the modern society. By analyzing different school’s athlete departments, women have been

used to recruit athletes. Women have also gone as far as accepting this position, thus, affecting

their dignity. The author highlights that women have actually come a long way, including their

quest to have equal working rights. However, today’s women have allowed themselves to be

objectified, thus, pushing them backward, which is not good at all. These are some of the

remarkable reasons why I agree with the writer’s thesis statement.

Apart from the rewording of the thesis statement, one change that I note is the author’s

use of citation in the second draft. The second difference is that the writer includes a family story

in the final draft, which is missing in the first version of the article that gives an insight into the

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Surname 1 Student’s Name Professor’s Name Course Date English Discussion Post Santi DeRosa’s different versions of the article “The Objectification of Women: Whose Fault is it?” are significant in understanding the process of writing. Basically, the thesis statement for the first version of the article is “Are women being objectified by a university that has a responsibility to treat women with equality and not as second class citizens?” In the final draft, the thesis statement as it appears in the first paragraph is “Are women being treated as objects by the very university th ...
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