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English Discussion Post

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English
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English Discussion Post
Santi DeRosa’s different versions of the article “The Objectification of Women: Whose
Fault is it?” are significant in understanding the process of writing. Basically, the thesis
statement for the first version of the article is “Are women being objectified by a university that
has a responsibility to treat women with equality and not as second class citizens?” In the final
draft, the thesis statement as it appears in the first paragraph is “Are women being treated as
objects by the very university that has a responsibility to treat them with equality and dignity and
not as second-class citizens?” It is evident that even though the meaning of the thesis statement
does not change, the author rewords it in the final version of the article to make it stronger and
clearer. In summary of the final version, the writer emphasizes on the objectification of women
in the modern society. By analyzing different school’s athlete departments, women have been
used to recruit athletes. Women have also gone as far as accepting this position, thus, affecting
their dignity. The author highlights that women have actually come a long way, including their
quest to have equal working rights. However, today’s women have allowed themselves to be
objectified, thus, pushing them backward, which is not good at all. These are some of the
remarkable reasons why I agree with the writer’s thesis statement.
Apart from the rewording of the thesis statement, one change that I note is the author’s
use of citation in the second draft. The second difference is that the writer includes a family story
in the final draft, which is missing in the first version of the article that gives an insight into the

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Surname 1 Student’s Name Professor’s Name Course Date English Discussion Post Santi DeRosa’s different versions of the article “The Objectification of Women: Whose Fault is it?” are significant in understanding the process of writing. Basically, the thesis statement for the first version of the article is “Are women being objectified by a university that has a responsibility to treat women with equality and not as second class citizens?” In the final draft, the thesis statement as it appears in the first paragraph is “Are women being treated as objects by the very university th ...
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