Interpersonal Communications : Why Social Relationships Matter

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Chapter 9

Why Social Relationships Matter

1. We Form Relationships Because We Need to Belong

a. Evolutionary psychologists argue that our motivation toward social relationships is

innate rather than learned.

i. Need to Belong Theory: hypothesis by Baumeister that says each of us is

born with a fundamental drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect

strong social relationships.

1. Suggests that for us to satisfy our drive for relationships, we need

social bonds that are both interactive and emotionally close.

2. Being cut off from social interaction can be physically and

psychologically devastating.

a. What solitary confinement is such as harsh punishment.

3. Research indicates that online relationships can be just as emotionally

close and involve just as much interaction as face-to-face

relationships.

4. As a society we are now less engaged in social structures than we

were in previous times.

a. Since we have fewer social structures we tend to gravitate

towards people who are more similar to us.

i. How will this affect diversity?

2. Social Relationships Bring Rewards

a. Social Relationships Bring Emotional Rewards

i. Friends provide us with at least two types of emotional rewards:

1. Emotional support, or encouragement during times of emotional

turmoil.

2. Happiness

b. Social Relationships Bring Material Rewards

i. Social relationships may benefit us by helping us meet our material needs,

such as our needs for money, food, shelter, and transportation.

1. We tend to share those types of resources with people to whom we

feel close.

c. Social Relationships Bring Health Rewards

i. James House concluded that a lack of strong, positive social relationships is

as big a risk for premature mortality as cigarette smoking, obesity, and

elevated blood pressure.

ii. At least two reasons why having good friends may keep us healthy:

1. The happiness and relaxation close friendships provide help us to

ward off the negative effectives of stress.

2. Friends can look out for our safety and well being. Friends can

encourage us to pursue healthy behaviors.

3. Social Relationships Carry Costs as Well as Rewards

a. You must make and emotional investment when your friend needs support.

b. There can be material costs such as traveling or going out to dinner.

c. Require time and physical investments such as help a friend move into their new

apartment.

Forming and Maintaining Social Bonds

1. Attraction Theory (Most Important Theory)

a. Attraction Theory

i. Interpersonal Attraction: Any force that draws people together to form a

relationship.

ii. Physical Attraction: Attraction to someone’s physical appearance.

iii. Social Attraction: Attraction to someone’s personality.

1. Ex: you like someone because of their positive attitude or their sense

of humor.

iv. Task Attraction: Attraction to someone’s abilities and dependability.

1. Ex: someone who is a good cook or good at a subject that you are not.

b. We Are Attracted By Appearance

i. Human are highly visually oriented, so when we find someone to be

physically attractive, we are often motivated to get to know that person

better. Two reasons for why we behave this way:

1. Research We value and appreciate physical attractiveness, so we want

to be around people we consider attractive.

2. Throughout history, humans have sought physically attractive others

as mates.

ii. Decades of research demonstrate that in reality we pay an enormous amount

of attention to physical appearance when we’re forming social and personal

relationships.

1. Attraction is a combination of social and genetic characteristics.

iii. Some notions of beauty vary widely from culture to culture

1. Ex: Weight: In North American and Western Europe, a physically fit

body is considered the most attractive. In many African and

Australian tribal cultures an overweight body is considered the most

attractive, at least for women.

iv. Cultures also vary in the ways in which they manipulate or mutilate the body

to achieve physical attractiveness.

1. Ex: Lip plates or metal rings around the neck.

v. Other aspects of physical attractiveness are cross-cultural.

1. People around the world prefer bodies and faces that are symmetrical

and that have features that are proportional in size to one another.

2. Across cultures, men are also attracted to women who appear healthy

and young, because those characteristics signal their ability to

produce healthy offspring.

3. Across cultures, women are attracted to men who look powerful and

appear to have resources, because those characteristics signal their

ability to provide for a family.

c. We Are Attracted By Proximity

i. Proximity refers to how closely together people live or work and how often

they interact.

ii. We are more likely to form and maintain social relationships with people we

see often then with people we don’t.

1. Some researchers have suggested that the Internet has reduced the

influence of proximity on attraction.

a. Although our choices of online friend may still be influenced by

physical appearance and our perceived similarity, they need

not be bound by physical proximity.

iii. Using Social Comments In An Online Course

1. Social Comments: words that build or reinforce relationships. Used to

minimize feelings of emotional and geographical distance. Used by

people for four specific purposes:

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Chapter 9 Why Social Relationships Matter 1. We Form Relationships Because We Need to Belong a. Evolutionary psychologists argue that our motivation toward social relationships is innate rather than learned. i. Need to Belong Theory: hypothesis by Baumeister that says each of us is born with a fundamental drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect strong social relationships. 1. Suggests that for us to satisfy our drive for relationships, we need social bonds that are both interactive and emotionally close. 2. Being cut off from social interaction can be physically and psychologically devastating. a. What solitary confinement is such as harsh punishment. 3. Research indicates that online relationships can be just as emotionally close and involve just as much interaction as face-to-face relationships. 4. As a society we are now less engaged in social structures than we were in previous times. a. Since we have fewer social structures we tend to gravitate towards people who are more similar to us. i. How will this affect diversity? 2. Social Relationships Bring Rewards a. Social Relationships Bring Emotional Rewards i. Friends provide us with at least two types of emotional rewards: 1. Emotional support, or encouragement during times of emotional turmoil. 2. Happiness b. Social Relationships Bring Material Rewards i. Social relationships may benefit us by helping us meet our material needs, such as our needs for money, food, shelter, and transportation. 1. We tend to share ...
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