WRTG 394 Advance Business Writing

timer Asked: Jun 12th, 2015

Question Description

critiquing a bad-news letter


Please read through the following problem-based scenario about a credit card company manager who receives an application for a credit card from Todd Riley, who is not old enough to apply for a credit card without a cosigner.

Then read the possible response to Todd below the scenario. 

What are your thoughts on the possible response to Todd?  Please critique the response.

In critiquing the response, make sure to refer to any particular pages in the textbook that are relevant to your critique.  A critique can laud a writer as well as point out weaknesses in a writer.  So please don’t think that you necessarily have to criticize the possible response to Todd.  In addition, you might feel certain aspects of the response have strong points but that the response could have been stronger in some ways.  In other words, you might both laud it and criticize it.

Your critique can be one or two paragraphs long.  This is not a writing assignment. It is a discussion task.


You are the credit manager for FlashExpress, a growing credit card company, and your department receives hundreds of applications for credit cards each month.  Frequently, you receive credit card applications from individuals under the legal age who are applying for a credit card. Legal regulations prohibit you from issuing a credit card to underage applicants unless a parent or other guarantor cosigns with them. If the minor does not pay, then the guarantor becomes responsible for the account. In addition to requiring a guarantor, FlashExpress requires underage applicants to fill out an additional supplemental form.

In your role as credit manager, write a letter to Todd Riley, a 17-year-old underage applicant, responding to his request for a credit card. Consider your audience, the context, and the purpose of your letter. Your letter should explain that you have enclosed a necessary supplemental form, along with a new credit card application, both of which need to be filled out. The guarantor must sign both forms. To expedite processing, Todd should mention on the top of the application that he has applied for credit previously and should return the application and supplemental form directly to you.

Dear Mr. Riley:

We are very appreciative of your interest in obtaining a FlashExpress credit card.  Your business is very important to us. Unfortunately, due to existing laws, we cannot issue a credit card to anyone under the age of 18 without an adult cosigning the application. The adult acts as a guarantor who is responsible for your account if for some reason you are unable to make payment. If you would like to be considered for a FlashExpress credit card, you must fill out the enclosed application along with a supplemental form, and you must have your guarantor sign both forms.  Indicate on your application that you have applied previously, and then return everything to us for processing. I am really very sorry for all this extra work and hope you will accept my apologies for this inconvenience. Have a great day.


Loren Lackluster

Credit Manager

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