1. Each day began the same for Shonda. Day after day for six months, Sam would call with new information. Slowly details emerged. A robbery. An elderly women was hurt. Ricky said he saw it happen but didn't participate. Sam was the perpetrator. A lawyer was hired. Court dates wee set. Court dates were postponed.
In this position of the narratice, the author misses an opputunity to develop Sam's character by describing the actions during this period of the story. Rewirte this section of the story to better develop Sam as a complex character.
2. As her sister drove Shonda to the police station, questions ping-ponged through her mind. Where had Sam and his cousin really been? How did they even come in contact with the police? What us this "misunderstanding"? Sam had never been invovled in any trouble, much less legal trouble. Did she really know Sam?
A scene flased into Shonda's mind. Her wedding day. Shonda looked beautiful in her wedding dress with the long white train trailing behind it, and Sam looked as handsome as he evr had. They smilied as they recited their vows.
As she reflected on this day, Shonda's heart began to slow and she smiled for the first time since the phone had rung.
In this portion on narrative, the author uses a flashback to develop the reflecting between Shonda and Sam. However, the flashback does not address the questions that Shonda asks in the paragraph before it, making the character's response in the paragraph after the flashback illogical. Rewrite the flashback scene , so it develops the relationship between the characters seen later in the story.