Peer Review Assignment

timer Asked: Aug 17th, 2015

Question Description

As you read a classmate’s paper, address these criteria:

  • Identify the course, assignment, and date.
  • Provide positive feedback, where appropriate, on the criteria.
  • Identify areas for improvement, where appropriate, and recommend improvements.  

The specific course learning outcomes associated with this assignment are:

  • Recognize the elements and correct use of a thesis statement. 
  • Recognize transitional words, phrases, and sentences.
  • Identify effective sentence variety and word choice. 
  • Identify positive qualities and opportunities for improvement in writing samples.
  • Analyze the rhetorical strategies of ethos, pathos, logos in writing samples and for incorporation into essays or presentations. 
  • Correct grammatical and stylistic errors consistent with Standard Written English
  • Recognize how to organize ideas with transitional words, phrases, and sentences.

I have attached the student's essay, Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet. (Latasha)

Please review the student's essay and see the other attachment, the Peer Review Feedback Form Peer Review Feedback Form.docx  and fill it out. 

If you have any questions, please ask. Thanks!

Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet Latasha N. Crooks Dr. Saraswathi Lakshmanan Strayer University ENG 215 – Research and Writing August 12, 2015 1 Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 2 Like most people in the United States and all around the world, you probably already know helmets can save lives in many situations, but do you really comprehended just how important wearing a helmet is? Saving your life should not be an option, wear a helmet at all times. You require a helmet for activities such as riding a bicycle, roller skating, skateboarding, and most importantly, when you operate a motorcycle. I have lost family members, friends, and fellow service members to motorcycle fatalities because of inexperience and not wearing the proper protective equipment, such as a helmet. Tragically, many people will die and become a statistic because they never think this will happen to them. Wearing a helmet should be just as ordinary as wearing a seatbelt each time a vehicle is in motion. In 1967, states were mandated by the federal government to pass helmet laws in order to be eligible for certain federal safety programs and highway construction funds (Governors Highway Safety Association, 2015). This federal incentive program worked because almost all the states mandated universal motorcycle helmet laws. However, in 1976, states lobbied Congress to stop considering financial penalties and allow each state to pass their own laws in regards to helmet safety (Governors Highway Safety Association, 2015). The states won this fight against the Department of Transportation, but I do not feel this was morally or socially the correct answer when factoring the number of deaths each year due to motorcycles. Apparently, lawmakers care very much about people wearing seatbelts, but care little about citizens wearing helmets on motorcycles. Currently, 28 out 50 states have laws in place which require motorcyclists to wear helmets. This number is pitiful and extremely low, considering the number of lives lost each year in motorcycle accidents. Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 3 What are some problems that arise from a person not wearing a helmet while operating a motorcycle? The obvious problems that stand out the most are deaths, head injuries, the misunderstanding of skills over experience, medical expenses and lastly the ripple effect after the accident. Death is tragic regardless of how you want to paint the picture and no one should be the result of an accident because they did not wear a helmet. Motorcycle accidents cause countless injuries such as broken bones, dislocated joints, and the most severe a head injury. The mistaken belief of skills over experience can make someone believe they are invincible or an accident will not happen to them because my skills are too good for that and if an accident does happen I will get up and walk away. Lastly, the ripple effect is morally dealing with how the accident affected the other people involved. In 2013, there were a total of 4,381 motorcycle deaths (Insurance Institute for Highway Safey, 2013). Out of these deaths, 37 percent of those motorcyclists were not wearing a helmet (Insurance Institute for Highway Safey, 2013). More than 80 percent of all motorcycle crashes result in injury or death. Congress or state lawmakers need to do something because this is an extreme problem claiming the lives of so many each year. Motorcycle helmet laws need to be reconsidered to ensure all levels of safety precautions are being taken to save a life. Motorcycles are high performance vehicles that are unstable at a certain rate of speed and less visible on the road than a compact car. Motorcycle crashes have two results that matter the most death or survival. Death is the ultimate sacrifice, but 37 percent preventable with a helmet (Insurance Institute for Highway Safey, 2013). Another result of not wearing a helmet are injuries of all types and variation. The types of injuries could be something as simple as a fractured forearm, dislocated hip or could be as Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 4 severe as a head injury. Broken or dislocated body parts can take a matter of time to heal and could possibly require some type of therapy. However, a head injury could leave a person in a vegetative state and this could result in hospitalization, intensive therapy, or even death. Forty percent of motorcycle riders who do not wear helmets will most likely sustain a fatal head injury. Head injuries are a major cause of fatalities sustained in motorcycle crashes. Head injuries are listed as the primary cause of death in 83 percent and as one of the top two causes of death in 95 percent (Houston, 2007). There is proof in the statistics, why become one? The second problem that arises when someone chooses not to wear a helmet is the misconception that nothing serious will ever happen to them. The delusion that someone’s age and years of experience as a rider makes them invincible to accidents or injuries. In my experience, this is far from the truth if I do say so myself. In 2014, I lost a fellow service member who had just come home from his second tour in Afghanistan. He thought he was untouchable driving without a helmet at high rates of speed and he paid for it. There were multiply pictures of him riding around earlier in the day without his helmet, which he was fully aware was part of proper protective gear required by the military. It is a sad situation when you have to notify a family member of the loss of their loved one. What hurts even more about the situation is to think that a helmet could have saved his life is the most devastating factor. It is never easy to tell someone of death, but it hurts even more when you feel it could have been prevented by wearing a helmet. Department of Transportation and lawmakers, let’s make this easy and pass a law in all 50 states that mandate helmets as they already do seatbelts. These laws should be one in the same. Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 5 This misconception is a lie and the statistics are proof of this on a day to day basis. This is the wrong mindset to have because one preventable death is too many when operating any type of motorized vehicle. Loved ones of those who ride, or aspire to ride, should teach helmet safety and encourage their family members to practice helmet usage, regardless of experience level. When I was five months pregnant, my daughter’s father was in a motorcycle accident I immediately thought the worst when I received the call. The most painful thought was that I would be raising our daughter alone. From this experience, I can tell you that wearing a helmet saved his life. The doctor provided a number of details and the most important one was his life was saved because he decided to wear a helmet. Stop having the misconception you are above death and put on a helmet to save your life. The third problem would be the medical costs, loss of income, and the financial claims that come with a motorcycle or automobile accident. The medical cost for someone that does not wear a helmet over someone who does wear a helmet is on average $3,000 more at the time of the accident. A person that survives a motorcycle accident and suffers severe injuries will miss work without compensation. I can assure you money has not started to grow on trees and I far from rich so take the necessary precautions and wear a helmet. The final financial obligation could be paying for a motorcycle that was totaled as the result of your accident. This is a lesser concern than your health and wellbeing but it is a costly financial responsibility to say the least. If you do not remember any other reason for wearing a helmet other than money, think about all you will save by just putting on a helmet before you ride a motorcycle. The third problem would be the social issue of how your actions affected your loved ones and those other lives involved in the accident. The social effect of your untimely death would be Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 6 tragic and your loved ones will be left to pick up the pieces without you. What if your actions took the life of someone else in the process? There would be an increase of pain for your family and it would be a tragedy for their family to experience as well. There is no easy way to approach death and trying to prevent it is should be an important factor each day. If you do not want to think about your safety at least consider someone else’s. Taking the time to put on a helmet is a safe way to enjoy riding a motorcycle and reduces the consequences of what an accident could entail without one. The problems someone can endure from not wearing a helmet are medical expenses, injury, or death. Helmets can help save a life just by simply making it law and routine as wearing a seatbelt. Safety is not something we should take lightly and helmets should be mandated for wear in all 50 states with no exceptions. Saving your life should not be an option; wear a helmet. Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet Continuation… There is no easy way to break the ice when talking about death. When you understand how a person died, I believe it helps with sorting out your emotions about their death. For instance, when a person dies from natural causes or a prolonged illness there is pain and questions of why, but because there was time to prepare it makes it is easier to comprehend. But when tragedy strikes and someone is taken away far too soon it bottles up so many emotions of pain and sometimes guilt. Emotions of pain are what I feel when I hear about a motorcycle accident and the rider was not wearing a helmet and death was the result. Congress and lawmakers need to step in and make the wear of helmets into law for everyday wear when Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 7 anyone is operating a motorized vehicle. The wearing of a helmet can play a major factor in medical expenses, the lives of others, injuries, or even death. Why take a gamble with your life when it is so much easier to put on a helmet. The first solution to assist Congress and lawmakers is to promote helmet safety. When seatbelt safety was an issue, action was taken immediately. There were commercial advertisements and the slogan “Click or Ticket” became very popular and till this day if you do not wear a seatbelt you will receive a ticket. To some people wearing a seatbelt is second nature because it is a way of life as helmets should be also. There should be a campaign started to promote helmet safety in each region of the world. There should be a contest on who can make the best slogan and how it can be endorsed throughout the world. The slogans should be aired in each region of the United States so everyone feels apart of the movement to save a life. The second solution to assist with decreasing the number of deaths is mandating helmet laws in all 50 states. Helmet laws should be mandated for motorcycle riders and those operating any type of motorized vehicle. These laws should include those individuals who operate the motorcycle and those who ride as passengers as well. Helmet laws should be broken down into two categories: primary and secondary. The primary helmet law would allow law enforcement officers to give you and/or your passenger a ticket for not wearing a helmet without violating any other traffic offense. The secondary helmet law would allow law enforcement officers to issue a ticket in addition to your original traffic offense. The price of these tickets will be a set amount in accordance with the highway safety association of that state. The third solution I would recommend to Congress and lawmakers would be required annual safety training. This training will be for all licensed motorcycle riders and it will enforce Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 8 the traffic and helmet laws of their state. The training will be for all skill levels as the level of experience does not make one invincible to the outcome if an accident were to happen. If you do not attend the training and you did not follow up to attend a different training date within 30 days of your missed training your motorcycle license will be suspended. In order to reinstatement your license, you will have to first attend the training and then pay the fees to obtain a valid motorcycle license. If a motorcycle rider is caught without a valid license than the same punishment should apply for someone caught operating an automobile without a license, jail time. This punishment may seem unfair, but I would rather bail someone out of jail than need to start making their funeral arrangements. One emotional advantage to having helmet laws is the number of lives that will be saved because of them. The selfless act of putting on a helmet, as one does a seatbelt, will show how much you care for your loved ones. One ethical advantage to having helmet laws will be the decrease from 37 percent of deaths each year to a projected percentage of half this rate each year. One logical advantage is you are much safer because of the helmet laws that are being enforced. You will not have to worry if an unexpected accident were to happen your head is already safe and secure with the prescribed protective equipment, a helmet. There truly needs to be helmet laws in all 50 states and these laws need to be of equal merit to seatbelt laws. The United States of America is the land of opportunities and the time has come to use this occasion to enforce helmet laws that should already be in place. Promoting, mandating, and providing reinforcement annual training are solutions to assist Congress and lawmakers that it is time to take a stand for helmet safety. As law abiding citizens, let us hold Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 9 those individuals accountable for their actions if they do not want to conform to the new helmet laws. Remember, your life should not be an option, wear a helmet at all times. Saving Your Life Should not be an Option, Wear a Helmet 10 References Insurance Institute for Highway Safey. (2013). Retrieved from Motorcycles: Governors Highway Safety Association. (2015, August 10). Retrieved from Helmet Laws: Houston, D. J. (2007). Motorcycle Safety and the Repeal of Universal Helmet Laws. American Journal of Public Health, 2063-2069. Iskander, J. (2013, August 14). Impany of Helmet Use in Traumatic Brain Injuries Associated with Recreational Vehicles. Retrieved from Hindawi: MacLeod, J. B., DiGiacomo, C. J., & Tinkoff, G. M. (2010, November). Helmet Efficacy to Reduce Head Injury and Mortality in Motorcycle Crashes. Retrieved from Eastern Association for the Surgery of Trauma: Neiman, M. (2008). Motorcycle Helmet Laws: The Facts, What Can be Done to Jump Start Helmet Use, and Ways to Cap Damages. Journal of Health Care Law & Policy, 35.
ENG 215 – Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1 Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1 Reviewer’s Name: _ Date: __ Writer’s Assigned #: _ Course:____ Section:__ Assignment 3: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists Peer reviews should provide feedback to a peer on the criteria expected in the paper. Follow these instructions: 1) Receive a classmate’s paper from your professor (in class if on-ground; by e-mail if online). 2) Copy the Peer Review Feedback Form from the Appendix. 3) Comment on all criteria, noting strengths and / or areas for improvement on the feedback form. 4) Provide completed Peer Review Feedback Form and classmate’s paper to your professor. Note: On-ground students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor during the class meeting in which the paper is reviewed; online students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor via the Assignment Tab in the course shell. Criteria 1. Provide an appropriate title and an interesting opening paragraph to appeal to your stated audience (appeal with logic, ethics, or emotion). 2. Include a defensible, relevant thesis statement in the first paragraph. (With revised thesis statement.) 3. Describe the history and status of the issue and provide an overview of the problem(s) that need to be addressed. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs. 4. Explain the first problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1- 2) paragraphs. 5. Explain the second problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs. 6. Explain the third problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs. + Strengths Comments < Areas for Improvement ENG 215 – Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1 7. Use effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences throughout the paper. 8. Provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes the stated problems and promises a solution. 9. Develop a coherently structured paper with an introduction, body, and conclusion 10. Support claims with at least three (3) quality, relevant references. Use credible, academic sources available through Strayer University’s Resource Center. 11. Other

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