editing a paper

qnna7
timer Asked: Dec 13th, 2015

Question Description

i attached an essay which need to be edited based on my professor's comments, the highlighted parts in yellow are the parts supposed to be edited. each part has its own comment which i also attached.

let me know if you need more information.

please be on time i need it Tuesday night at 10:00 p.m

thanks

annotated_file.pdf

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Almaari 1 Dina Almaari Professor Leibow English 112 8 November 2015 Essay assignment #1 Comparing Two Advertisements It is common in our day to day life to come across advertisements which either catches our attention or doesn’t. The advertisements are developed each day and are shown through the media such as the television, as well on signs such as billboards across the neighborhood. It is also common to hear adverts on the radio from time to time. This is one of the best techniques that the companies use to appeal to many markets in order to reach a large audience who is interested in their goods. Hopkins (2014) shows that adverts are made to address different audience which explains why adverts vary from a company to another. The availability of internet as well as the modern ability to choose channels and radio stations has made it possible for companies to reach as many customers as possible. This paper analyzes two Coca Cola adverts and observes the similarities and differences between them. The sale tactics in the two advertisements differ in a much greater extent. The Coca Cola advert made years ago is an advertisement that targets travelers. In the background, there is a refilling station and a crate of Coca Cola showing that if the travelers require refueling their cars, they might also need to quench their thirst. On the other hand, the recently improved Coca Cola advert does not hold much information. Almaari 2 It is a plain advert that does not target a specific audience. There is no level of satisfaction indicated in the two adverts. The creative visuals in both adverts make the audience or the one who is watching consider the thought behind the images. This is what catches the attention of the reader. The backgrounds of these images illustrate visual tricks that engage those who observe the ad. When you look at the images, one can notice there is a deeper meaning behind what is presented by each of them. Both advertisements encourages the targeted audience to purchase or consider purchasing the product. The two adverts have different slogans though they are representing the same product. The advertisements presents different slogans because the target audience are different. The recent advert has the slogan “Open a coke, Open happiness” while the other says “Thirst Stops here”. Each advert targets a different audience with different interests. While one want to quench the happiness after a long tedious journey, the other focuses on how to cool down and enjoy a coke with a great view in a relaxing place. Both adverts however have a common badge which is the company’s logo. They are situated in a position where they can simply catch the eye, which enables the advert to reinforce the product and to help the audience associate the logo with the item being advertised. The badge attracts the audience’s attention, and one can focus on other information on the ad, as long as the badge is clear and eye catching. Without this badge and other visual images the audience attention may not be simply focused on the writings. That’s why the visual representation is important an important part of the ad, Almaari 3 without it the ad would be missing a lot, thought people wouldn’t be interested in an ad with no visual images. Almaari 4 Work cited Hopkins, Claude C. Scientific Advertising. Lanham: Start Publishing LLC, 2014. Internet resource. Comments & Markups X Page 1 A advertisements which either catches Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Dexample of plural subject/singular verb confusion -- advertisements catch or advertisement catches Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Hopkins (2014) Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago In MLA format, this goes at the end of the words/info that comes from this source (Hopkins page #). At the start, use a signal phrase that begins to put the source information in context for the reader. As shown in a recent article in Scientific Advertising... € Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago This paper analyzes Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Instead of a "purpose statement" like this one, use a thesis statement that asserts a specific claim about the 2 advertisements you are comparing -- Be specific: Something like: Even though these two ads have the same goal -- to sell coca cola (or some other specific similarities), they both persuade in ABe surprisingly different way #1, way #2, and way #3. -- you have written the body aA paragraphs in an organized way: images, audience, slogan, logo, etc. Make the road map of your thesis match what follows. It will help your reader. Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago possible Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Your introduction seems disconnected from the rest of the essay. Can you think of a way to introduce the reader to your topic in a way that will lead to your thesis? How about describing the two ads in a way that the reader can "see what the look like. Comments & Markups х possible Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Your introduction seems disconnected from the rest of the essay. Can you think of a way to introduce the reader to your topic in a way that will lead to your thesis? How about describing the two ads in a way that the reader can "see what they look like. Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago does not hold much information Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago can you describe what is in this ad? I can't see it from your description 7 Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago recently improved Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago word choice? Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Page 2 There is no level of satisfaction indicated in... Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago What do you mean by this statement? Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago The Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago MLA format - no extra space between paragraphs Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago you look at the images, one Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago use the same subject in a series like this -- When one looks.., one can notice..." Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago important Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago delete extra word? Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago Page 3 missing a lot, thought people Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago something missing here? This sentence is confusing. Lisa Leibow - 27 days ago
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