Watch short movie first and rewrite one essay

Anonymous
timer Asked: Mar 30th, 2017

Question Description

Here is the evaluation for the essay

Evaluation Essay

Here is the comment from my teacher

Your essay did not follow through on its thesis. You made many intriguing points, but they were not linked together with a strong thesis development. Please feel free to chat with me on Tuesday between 9-12 am. I will be opening a chat and inviting all students, where we can discuss your essay more, should you want to.

Here is the prompt

Prompt: Page Length: 3-4 pages (do not go over 4 pages—less is more. Make every word count, and repeat this mantra: “Quality, not quantity.”)

Process Points: Your process points account for 5% of your essay grade. If you do not have the process stages ready in class when they are due, you will lose these points on your essay grade. Peer review accounts for another 5% of your essay.

I incorporate process points because I have years of experience watching students procrastinate on the very most basic aspects of their essays. I am also teaching you a technique to break down writing assignments into workable steps—this is something you can use your whole life.

Making an Evaluation

For this essay, you will need to create an evaluation of Daughter from Danang or The Gangster We Are All Looking For. When you write an evaluation essay, you are making an overall judgment of your topic, backing up your judgment with explanation and support, and then finally returning to your evaluation in the conclusion—either by restating it, or adding a new twist to it. Unlike a personal narrative of a remembered event, the supporting paragraphs in the heart of your essay come from evidence rather than personal memory.

A sample evaluation:

The Gangster We Are All Looking For deliberately confuses the reader. It incorporates dream-states and real-life states to give us a glimpse into the narrator’s child-like mind.

Your essay has to contain the following sections:

  1. Introductory paragraph that either gives background to your subject or states your evaluation.
  2. At least three body paragraphs that support your evaluation through examples from the text or film. You can place your thesis in the beginning of the second paragraph if your first paragraph gives background information.
  3. A conclusion.

In addition, your essay must handle the following two concerns:

  • Another important aspect of an evaluation is your anticipation of other viewpoints. You can easily incorporate your understanding of other viewpoints by devoting one of your body paragraphs to possible objections. This is known as counterarguing.

Example: Heidi Bub is a selfish American girl, who does not have enough cultural sensitivity to understand her Vietnamese family.

Possible counterargument/objection: Yes, but she was ill-prepared to face the cultural differences.

Alternative counterargument: Yes, but the film manipulates us into thinking she is ignorant. We don’t know the “real” Heidi Bub.

Solution: A series of sentences that address one of these objections. “While” clauses are helpful here.

While it may seem that Heidi Bub was ill-prepared for her journey to Vietnam, common sense suggests otherwise. Indeed, she would have sufficient information about Vietnam stored in her personal memory (after all, she left at age 7) to realize the need for intensive preparation. Had Heidi left her homeland at a younger age, her lack of understanding would be more palatable. In the film, however, it comes off as downright ignorant. (You could insert a piece of dialogue from the film here.)

  1. This leads to the second important concern:

To support your evaluation, you will need to bring in evidence. Read handout called the quote sandwich.

If you choose to write about the film for your essay, please do consult the transcript of the film for your citation purposes: Link (Links to an external site.)

Here is what you have to write first

You may rewrite one essay and include a 250 word cover page describing what changes you undertook, and why.

the movie link Link (Links to an external site.)

Ruyun Xiao Mary EWRT 1A 02/19/17 The movie “Daughter from Danang” whose main character is Heidi Bub is about a child who is abandoned by her biological mother at the age of seven to the adopting mother. In her new home, Heidi does not get along with her new mother and this brings so many thoughts to the minds of the audience. A stream of thoughts comes into my mind as I watched this movie. I thought of whether Heidi will continue living with her foster mother because from the look of things it was true she didn’t like her. When the search for her real mother starts, I think of whether she will find her at last and how will it look like. My thoughts are answered when the movie is over. Heidi’s mother took the adoption operation as a protection measure to her child since she had no choice and she didn’t want to see her hurt. The theme of culture has been deeply explored in this film. A seven years old girl finds herself in another country and she grows up knowing that she belongs there. The natives of the land could say so much about her upbringing but she doesn’t mind because she believes that America is her home. At that early age, she even doesn’t get along with her foster mother because she doesn’t like her and the way she is treated. When she reached early twenties, she decided to end it all and look for her real home, real mother and real family. Culture differences then becomes a challenge when she finally meets her family and realized that the way of life there was completely different from how she is used to living. When Heidi reunites with her family, she expected the love she missed and acceptance something she didn’t get in her adoption home. In the contrary, she is not happy with life there. In America, a visitor is not welcomed by starting to ask them what help they have brought in and that is the cultural difference between the Vietnamese and Americans. The cultural crises that happen at the end of the film could have been avoided if Heidi’s mother would have chosen not to abandon her daughter. Circumstances were hard but she had a choice which she didn’t choose. Heidi Bub is a grow up girl when she meets with her family members and having grown in her foster mothers country, she is not used to her birth mother country culture. She faces challenges and feels that people were acting in a manner that was not suitable. The movie portrays Heidi as ignorant and doesn’t know anything about the differences that exist among cultures of different regions. The issue of money being brought up in a celebration where people are happy didn’t go well with her and instead of feeling welcomed home, she feels lost and in a strange place with strange people. Heidi even though she is with her family still feels the disconnection that is brought about by culture difference. Heidi expected to find unconditional love and happiness she missed but it turns out to be the opposite. Culture shock took over her not only in the market places but also in celebrations. In different occasions, Heidi finds everything being strange and backward. It reached a moment where she wanted to go back to America the place where she considered home. She was not comfortable in Vietnam even for a single moment. The film teaches viewers the connection that a family staying together has. Family is paramount but staying together matters the most. After being in distance with her family for several years, Heidi does not feel the bond again even when that was her expectation. She has spent so many years in America and she is used to their culture. She feels home when she is in America than in Vietnam which is her real home. Another challenge that Heidi faces is the language problem. When Heidi was taken to America, she spoke good Vietnamese because she was seven years old and all those years she spent in Vietnam. In America, she had to learn English and her adopting mother took her to private school where she learnt English. After twenty years out of Vietnam, Heidi can now speak fluent English and not even a single Vietnamese. In Vietnam, learning the language was a problem though she showed interest in it because she wanted to belong with her family members. Communication was a great problem and contributed to her discomfort in Vietnam. The film also showed the difference between America and Vietnam in terms of individualism and collectivism. In America, Heidi is used to doing things for herself, she is independent and since she was kid to the age she is now, she is never pampered nor have someone to stay with her in bed. She doesn’t get that love from her adoptive mother. When she finally finds her real family, she finds it different and strange because her mother could hug and kiss her every time telling her how she loves her.

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