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I need this PowerPoint corrected and be at least 10 minutes long with speaker notes.
these are the instructor's corrective comments:
I'm glad to see that you have a strong interest in this subject, but, again, I encourage you to narrow your topic considerble. Your topid is so broad that most of your claims are overly vague and general. You do not really have a satisfactory thesis for this paper, and your research is vague. Your claims are overly general, and you do not cite your sources. You need to cite your source for each claim. As I said from the outet, I suggest that you rethink this paper. If you email me a new thesis that is narrower in scope, I can critique it and help you make it into something that is genuinely arguable and something for which you can provide specific evidence to suport. Download LinwoodMasonFinalPaperDraft.docx | Jill Steiner, Oct 13 at 7:14am |
You also need to proofread your paper. You have numerous grammatical errors, which you need to corrrect. See my specific feedback in the essay attached above. | Jill Steiner, Oct 13 at 7:16am |
Your peer reviews are precise and thoughtful. You make constructive suggestions to both of your peers. You should try to bemore precise in your own writing. | Jill Steiner, Oct 13 at 7:18am |
Going back to your draft, I should also mention that your argument is quite redundant. You repeat the same observations about contrasting ways of looking at the wars several times. If your claims were more precise, you would be developing a more finely reasoned argument. |
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Explanation & Answer
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CAUSES OF WORLD WAR I AND
WORLD WAR II
WORLD WAR I AND WORLD WAR II
LINWOOD D. MASON III
LIB/495
INSTRUCTOR JILL STEINER
OCTOBER 12, 2017
THESIS STATEMENT
World war 1 and 11 define history, and judge the
present political economic and social inclinations of
world nations. However, the actual causes of both
wars alludes to tension created within allied nations,
and the obvious territorial competition of lesser
regions, of Asia and Africa. Such indispensable
facts were the main reasons for war on cause to
formation of current world superpowers, and the
obvious difference in socio-economic and political
ideologies of the world.
IMPERIALISM
MILITARISM
Aspect of militarism defines the analogy of
nations expressing their military strength.
Ideally, during the onset of both wars, nations
adopted extrinsic pursuits for showing their
military might. However, that triggered nations
that felt under threat to call on their allies to
help protect them against such advances.
Militarism was one of the main causes of war
NATIONALISM
The belief of one’s nation is
supreme and superior over other
nations expressed the nationalism
that ran in countries like Britain,
Germany, and Russia (ThoughtCo.,
2017).
THE CAUSES OF WORLD WAR I, THE KEY
PARTICIPANTS, AND THE IMPACTS
World war I transpired between the year 1914 and the year 1918 which left over 20 million
people dead and massive destruction of property. I claim that the major causes of world war I were
planned among them being the formation of mutual def...