Index - MyReviewers 2/11/18, 6(52 AM REVISION PLAN Select Project: Project 1 Intermediate Draft Reviews by Instructor & Peers List View Report View Instructor: ∠ FENNELL JARAD View Review Reviewer Rubric Comments Criteria Name Reviewer In-Text Comments Criteria Comment Comment Type Comment Text Detailed Comments No Comment Community Comments Combine Sentences (/CommunityComments/Detail/18) Contractions (/CommunityComments/Detail/149) Comma Splice (/CommunityComments/Detail/47) Comma Splice (/CommunityComments/Detail/47) Capitalization (/CommunityComments/Detail/43) Comma Splice (/CommunityComments/Detail/47) Combine Sentences (/CommunityComments/Detail/18) Comma Splice (/CommunityComments/Detail/47) Student: ∠ STUDENT 1 View Peer Review UNRATED https://myreviewers.usf.edu/grade/revisionPlan/USF/201801/10853/Student/aljaberi/0/6/aljaberi/6493/13909 Page 1 of 4 Index - MyReviewers 2/11/18, 6(52 AM Reviewer Rubric Comments Reviewer In-Text Comments Comment Type Criteria Name Criteria Comment Evidence I liked the sources used in this article. And the shareholders were relevant for the issue. The overall evidence strengthened your argument. Format The in-text citations were formatted correctly and were in the right place. and the works cited page was formatted well and good. Endnote Overall i enjoyed this paper and liked the content inside. Only things that I would change is to revise your compromise to make it more viable. And to explain a few things in more detail as highlighted above. Lastly to fix a few spelling issues. Analysis You analyze very well in this essay. I like how you spent a whole paragraph analyzing what the issues of AI. And how the quotes were given info before being put in. Organization This essay was organized well. It was structured in a good way. intro issue, explain shareholders, explain issue, intro compromise and explain. Style for the most part your style was good. The only errors I found were small spelling errors, nothing big to worry about. Comment Text Detailed Comments This is a good way to make people think but, this specific example is hard to visualize. I would make it more detailed. this compromise looks good on paper but i don't know the viability of it because Your idea is a review organization. I would think the two shareholders would just and not get much done. It's spelled Elon Musk. plural I would add in an area where you explain how with this review organization would help make the two issues of AI, not such an issue. Community Comments Awkward Sentences (/CommunityComments/Detail/10) Incorrect Word Form (/CommunityComments/Detail/155) Incorrect Word Form (/CommunityComments/Detail/155) Incorrect Word Form (/CommunityComments/Detail/155) Incorrect Word Form (/CommunityComments/Detail/155) 1. How helpful was this feedback? 5 1 2 3 4 5 2. How would you characterize the tone of the feedback? Too harsh Too harsh Neutral Too kind Submit Rating https://myreviewers.usf.edu/grade/revisionPlan/USF/201801/10853/Student/aljaberi/0/6/aljaberi/6493/13909 Page 2 of 4 Index - MyReviewers 2/11/18, 6(52 AM ∠ STUDENT 2 View Peer Review UNRATED Reviewer Rubric Comments Criteria Name Reviewer In-Text Comments Comment Type Criteria Comment Analysis Organization Your organization is strong and your ideas all seem to flow in an orderly manner. You do a good job of breaking up ideas. Style Try to be conscious of your sentence structures as well as making sure that the proper grammar is used where needed. Be sure to always use formal diction while writing academic papers. Evidence Be sure to remain consistent with your references, following the mla format guidelines for all the sources. Hanging indentations should be use for all the sources. The website links are also not necessary. Comment Text Detailed Comments became using till rather than until seems informal. This is awkwardly worded, try "humans work to make machines more intelligent" instead The word "totally" is informal To make the paragraph flow better this sentence can be changed or taken out grammatically "has" should be "have" Combine these two sentences, replacing the period with a comma Make sure to use hanging indentations for all your references Community Comments Proofreading (/CommunityComments/Detail/67) Word Choice (/CommunityComments/Detail/161) Awkward Sentences (/CommunityComments/Detail/10) Format You have a good paper with a good topic, there are a few fixable errors here and there but you clearly understand the assignment and present it well over all. Look out for small mistakes. Endnote 1. How helpful was this feedback? 1 1 2 3 4 5 2. How would you characterize the tone of the feedback? Too harsh Too harsh Neutral Too kind Submit Rating https://myreviewers.usf.edu/grade/revisionPlan/USF/201801/10853/Student/aljaberi/0/6/aljaberi/6493/13909 Page 3 of 4 Index - MyReviewers 2/11/18, 6(52 AM Student's Revision Plan: Now that you have received responses from your peers and your instructor, use that personalized feedback to construct a Revision Plan. Directons: Using complete sentences, provide answers to prompt questions. Summary Analysis Revision Plan Summarize the higher-order feedback you received from your peers/instructors(s). Note patterns/contradictions. What peer/instructor feedback will inform your revision? Be specific and provide rationale. Based on your self-review and peer/instructor reviews, detail the steps you will take to improve the quality of your writing project. Submit Grade the Revision Plan: Instructor Overall Comment Instructor Grade Not Graded Yet https://myreviewers.usf.edu/grade/revisionPlan/USF/201801/10853/Student/aljaberi/0/6/aljaberi/6493/13909 Page 4 of 4
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