English Discussion Board Peer Review, Very Easy

User Generated

Zneiva4

Humanities

Description

Peer Review Prompt

  1. Identify one important strength of the essay (2 pts).
  2. Assess the clarity of the essay, including its organization, sentence clarity, and logical progression of ideas, and make at least one specific suggestion for improvement (5 pts).
  3. Assess the accuracy of the essay, including the accurate identification of the speaker with their title, when applicable; explanation of the purpose of the speech and its relevance to world events; the speech maker's main claim; and the summary of the speech's key points. Make at least one specific suggestion for improvement (5 pts).
  4. Assess the quality and clarity of the points of opposition to (critique of) the speech, and make at least one specific suggestion for improvement (5 pts).
  5. Assess the technical craft of the essay and make at least one specific suggestion for improvement in the following areas. If, in your careful evaluation, no improvements are needed, give your peer props (3 pts).

- MLA Paper Formatting

- MLA In-Text Citations

- Introducing and Referring to Authors

I have attached my peers' essay below. Write a review as a discussion board and submit it to me.

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Gorgees 1 Dalya Gorgees Professor Trina Larson English 124 16 February 2018 “Human’s Right” Why are women not allowed to lead a company? Why men not allowed to cry? We all want to be treated equally, and we should be placed where we deserve to be placed. Women have power to lead and manage a company just like men, they manage it because they can, not because they are women, but because they work hard to earn their accomplishments. Why men not allowed to cry? We are all human being, and we all share emotions. To cry does not mean you’re weak, every human cry, it’s natural, but somehow crying has gender rules in our society. To live in a balance life, we got to accept other’s rights. In the speech that was given to the United Nation, “HeForShe,” by Emma Watson argues about gender inequality, and how the word feminism had come to be seen as a synonymous with man-hating, she reminded the audience that feminism is about both men and women having equal rights. She wanted to advocate both genders for a change. This is relevance to our word’s event because we all want change, but nobody is fighting for it. Watson made a bold move explaining that she does not want make it tangible, not just talk about it, but to make it come true. Watson shared facts about her past to give her audience reasons to trust her beyond her popularity and her famous background. She wanted to make the change herself, she repeated consistently, “if not me, who? If not now, when?” (00:11:32). Watson main point was for the world to have freedom. As we all know she is known as a Holly Gorgees 2 Potter girl, yet she was up on the stage at the UN, she confirmed, “I don’t know if I am qualified to be here. All I know is that I care about this problem. And I want to make it better” (00:09:18). Her point was clearly stated that she wants to change and fight for equal rights. Her emotions made the speech creditable to the audience. Her eye contact showed how she believes and knows her topic, and that made it easier to engage her audience. She was also speaking very clearly and slowly to prove the importance of her speech. Watson faced criticism when she started off with her childhood. She talked about growing up and being called bossy because she wanted to direct the class play, as she pointed out, “I was confused at being called bossy, because I wanted to direct the plays we would put on for our parents, but the boys were not” (00:02:45). We can conclude from this that Watson had attacked the mistaken idea that many people believe about feminism. She defined the word feminism for all the people that had mistaken it, as she clarified, “The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities” (00:02:19). This was well effective and presented because the meaning of feminism could be easily looked up to ensure her accuracy to her speech. Watson discussed how many people remove men out of the word feminism just because they think it only belongs to women. She made it clear that this is men’s issues as well as women. The world needs to see feminism as both gender’s right. Many people think that feminism is basically anti-men, which is a false information, because feminism cannot be what we want it to be unless we have men and women’s support together. In the conclusion, Watson’s speech revolved around gender inequality and gender roles. She reminded everyone that gender equality is important because it is human rights, and it is affecting everyone throughout the world. Her speech is about combing and gathering men and women to affect change in the world. Watson used her popularity to awaken the public’s Gorgees 3 alertness toward gender equality. To truly see an affective process the whole society needs to work together to achieve equality. If not us, who? If not now when? Gorgees 4 Works Cited Watson, Emma “UN Speech, HeForShe.” YouTube. September 21, 2014. Web. October 6, 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-iFl4qhBsE.
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Explanation & Answer

Attached.

Surname 1

Prompt Review
Name
English
Professor
Date

Surname 2
Peer Review
The organization of the paper displays a significant area of strength. The paper presentation of
the idea starts with an introduction that draws the attention of the reader. In addition to that, there
is the use of the rhetorical questions that make the introduction more aesthetic. The use of quotes
in the essay plays a major role in increasing the credibility of the ideas that are presented in the
piece. After the introduction, there is a comprehensive body that strongly aligns with the thesis
of the whole essay and finally being summarized at the end of the essay.
The organization of the essay displays high levels of Excellency. There is an excellent
understanding of the ideas be...


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